Chapter 10

Tris made me do this fall back thing on the mat to improve my technique. She made me add a jump to it to mimic the feeling of falling like I was doing a back handspring. On the edge, she forced me to kick over with my legs. She said that building my back muscles will help with the back handspring.

After a while, I didn't realize that I fell asleep on the mat because when I woke up Tris was gone and a blanket covered my body. She has the control of a commanding officer but the touch of a mother. Yep, definitely a weirdo.

My muscles, actually everything for that matter felt sore. Tris did say after the training that took place, all my muscles would be sore. And that if they are sore, that I did something right. No pain, no gain. But then again, Braydon said if I felt pain, that I should stop.

But this is being sore. It's not painful. It's just feeling the hard work I put into my training with Tris. She did say it was normal and I trust her.

For the first time since I've known Tris, I actually trust her. Before I didn't want to hang out with her whatsoever. But now, I want her to be my trainer. Braydon's good, but Tris is right, he was holding me back.

I know he didn't mean to and that he did try his best, all I can say is that the only way to improve is to stick with Tris. I feel as though this is going to be the start of something good. All I have to do is trust that everything's going to be ok.

I smile at my progression. In a few years, the humanoids won't know what hit them. I'll be the strongest soldier they have ever seen. Tumbling takes a lot of hard work and practice, but what else am I supposed to do if father keeps me in here?

The most annoying thing a parent could do for a child is to hold them back on their potential. Actually, it's keeping them from playing outside. All I wanted was to ride my bike outside and let the sun touch my naturally tanned skin. Apparently, it's too dangerous out there because Humanoids lurk around every corner.

If I couldn't take care of myself, maybe I would have listened. I'm a strong, independent, young woman, who is capable of taking down a humanoid. I may have never actually seen or confronted one before, but what would be the point in all this training if I couldn't take one down?

I know in my heart that I could indeed take one down. And I'll prove it. I'll prove to my father that I can destroy a humanoid. They don't scare me. I'm not a little girl anymore. I can take care of myself.

I took off the blanket which sent weakness in my muscles and made me wince at how sore I actually am. None the less, this was normal. I made my way to the table where my strudel lay and felt every muscle in my body shake. Victory calls for this kind of feeling. I took one bite out of it and its deliciousness makes my mouth water.

I guess I'm hungrier than I thought I was. I decided to go to the kitchen to fill my hunger. I ignore the soreness of my body and achieve my greatness in progression. When I got there no one was in the room. I took a bagel with cream cheese and made my way to the eating area.

Still, no one was here. It's breakfast. Shouldn't there be people here eating, talking and having a break from their duties? I take a bite out of my breakfast before pondering about the idea may be that Father and Braydon are back. But something feels wrong. Maybe they are back and that's where everyone went. To get information on the excursion on taking down the humanoid base.

I guess I would be curious to know what happened. If only my stomach would stop growling. Jeez, I'm eating, calm down. I finish my bagel and cleaned up after myself. Maybe I should go see where everyone is at. But Father was really pissed at me before leaving.

Maybe I'll stay here and wait. Yes, let them come to me. I shouldn't have to apologize first for being a soldier. Going outside is inevitable when it comes to this life. Father should see that. But part of me wants to leap in his arms and say I'll never leave this place again just to make him happy. But I'll never be happy so long as I sit here and stare at the wall.

But they did just come back from battle. It would be nice for a father to see his daughter when he had just seen the horrors of war. But I have to lay down that I am not a little girl anymore. I'm growing and getting stronger. Tris did say I'm improving. That has to mean something to him.

I get up from my spot and make my way to the entrance. I'll just go with the flow but knowing me, I'll let my guards down and leap into his arms. He is my father after all and a pretty damn good one. He just has to grow up with me and see that letting me out isn't going to kill me if he's there with me.

My stomach churns with nausea. I think I ate something funny, maybe it's the cream cheese. That stuff does go bad after a while. Oh who am I kidding, I'm afraid to see my father. I wanna know if he'll be happy to see me or just keep his stone-cold face. I want to see the glimmer in his pale green eyes when he sees me. I want that brave, loving smile.

My palms begin to sweat. What if he grows to hate me for defying him. I'm his daughter, it hurts more when a daughter defy's parents. I think it's scarier too or something. What if he tells me to leave his sight because he can barely look at me. No that isn't him. He's understanding and loving. I'm his daughter.

The air begins to get harder to breathe in. I don't want him to hate me because I questioned his fatherhood. He's my dad and I love him. Can he hate me for having different opinions about what's safe? He just wants to protect me as long as he could. He could never really hate me for being defiant, right?

He may not like it but he can never hate me. I'm his daughter and he loves me. No matter how annoying or out of hand I can get. It's part of growing up. He can't hate me for wanting to try new things. I swallow a dry gulp.

I guess I'll have to see then.

When I entered the entrance room, everyone was there. The cooks, Astrid and Shia along with Brenda. I can see the familiar gray, brown curly-haired guy I like to bug. Kahlen and Elizabeth, who are also with their mother's Denise and Karen. I spotted Tris leaning against the wall, tears falling from her eyes.

Then I noticed the sniffling and hunched shoulders. Everyone's crying. Did someone die? But who? Who wasn't in the room?

The soldiers came piling in, carrying a stretcher with a body on it. It was covered so I couldn't identify who it was. I could see James carrying the front left and Kevin the medic carrying the front right. Tris's dad, Milo, carrying the back right and Kahlen's dad, Raymond, carrying the back left side of the stretcher.

Behind them, Elizabeth's dad, my father's twin, Connor came up. From his expression, my heart dropped. Braydon wasn't in the room. He's the least experienced and most likely the one that's on the stretcher. Tear form in my eyes, but I saw the familiar sea-green eyes I've fallen in love with.

If it isn't Braydon then who's on the stretcher. I made a headcount and doubled, tripled check. Everyone is here. Who could it be? Who's on that god damned stretcher.

Braydon made his way to me. His uniform makes this feel serious. Like he's the barrier of bad news. His face was covered with such dread. He's about to break. I notice the childish look come across his face like he just wants to hide.

"Who," I had to catch my breath to speak. "Who," I tried once again. "Who's on the stretcher."

Behind him, the men put the body on the floor. The body's hand falls out of the covers. On his wrist, the familiar tattoo I've grown to memorize when he read me stories when I was younger. The tattoo that read my mother's name, Starria.

I collapse on the floor. Arms came around me and I could hear sorry being repeated a thousand times over. Apologizing for something my head could not grasp around just yet. I don't understand. Father?

"Daddy?" I squeak. "Daddy get up."

Why isn't he moving? He's just sleeping, right? He can't be dead. He's not. They're just playing some sick cruel joke to get me to submit. My father can't be gone. It's impossible. He's the best soldier here. He's strong, smart and indestructible. This is a dream.

It has to be.

"Let go," I say so calmly, it startled my holder that smells of sweat, mint, and something else.

I pushed him off of me. Father isn't dead. I went up to him and pulled the covers off of him. His face is whiter than a ghost. I touch his face hoping for warmth but all I got was ice cold. I choked back a tear.

"Dad? Daddy, please. Please don't go. I need you. Please!" I wrap my arms around my father's shoulders. "No! You can't be gone! You have to let me convince you. We're not done yet. Daddy, I need you to watch me grow up to a young woman."

Tears flood out of me and wails of cries escape me. This isn't fair. He shouldn't have died. He should still be here. I feel arms try to rip me from my father.

"No! Let go of me! Don't take me away from my Daddy!" I scream at the holder.

Braydon takes me from the cruel guy that took me from my father. I bury my head into his shoulder. Tears and wails still escaping me. He stroked my hair trying to soothe me into soft wails. He took me to the place where it's quiet.

The underground cave with water is still as chanting as ever. My wails come to a stop but the tears keep flooding. Braydon cradles me in his lap soothing me.

I don't want to calm down. I want revenge. I pull out of Braydon and push him away. I stood up and started to pace. Thinking about the ways to kill the bastard that did that to him.

"What are you thinking about?" His voice filled with sadness and worry.

My attention grasps at Braydon. The boy I loved more than anything. The boy I would have died for if he asked me to. He was going to be the man I married when we were older. Braydon, the boy my heart belonged to and would never be replaced with anyone.

When I look at Braydon right now, I see a liar. A traitor. A boy that took my father away. A boy who broke his promises to me. How could I love this boy when he promised me that he would never hurt me in any way. I gritted my teeth.

"It's your fault my father's dead."

He looks startled. "What?" His voice comes out breathy like he couldn't believe I would accuse him of anything.

My anger escapes me. "You promised me that everything was going to be fine. You said you were going to bring him back to me. You lied and said that no one was going to get hurt Braydon. Guess what? You hurt the one person you swore you would never hurt."

His breathing gets rugged. "You can't possibly be blaming all this on me." His sea-green eyes reveal to me that he's hurt. Hurt that I, the only person he knows that would never blame him for anything.

"I can though Braydon. I could've stopped this but no." I dragged out no to emphasize how angry I am. "You had to have your glory and be the big hero that saved everyone. You saved no one. I told you the dangers of going and you didn't listen. You got cocky. I could've prevented my father's death if it wasn't for you." I spat the words at him with poison.

He stuttered. "I... I did... didn't know."

"Of course you didn't. You killed my father. Now I'm going to leave. Don't ever," I look intently in his eyes. "speak with me again."

I stormed out of the room and headed to the unknown. My heart is broken, I feel lonelier than I have ever felt, and sorrow blinds me. But my soul is out for revenge. I want blood for blood.