Chapter 11

I don't know how long it's been or how many hours I spent grieving my father's death but I noticed that I'm starting to smell. I've had visitors check up on me and drop by to give me food, but I paid no attention to them. They were all considered my enemy. I could trust no one here.

All except Tris that is. Which is strange considering we used to be enemies and all. She's come in here a couple of times to force-feed me and make me go out to train to maintain my physical appearance or whatever. The training was only during the night so I wouldn't run into anyone. Other than that, I could only ever be here. Going out seemed so tragically sad and heartbreaking.

I couldn't go back to my old room, not ever. Too many memories flood through my brain just to sit there and weep. I was going to kill something but I felt exhausted from the pain and crying felt like the better option. So I came here instead. To Tris' room. It's small but it works.

I just sit here in her closet. She made me a bed in here to sleep and mope around in. If anyone comes in I could close the closet door and refuse to listen to them.

I heard Elizabeth come in here a couple of times. I know she didn't really do anything wrong and that we moved on from the incident, but something about talking to anyone seems revolting. I can't stand everyone moving on. I just wished the world stopped then and there.

It would be easier.

Everyone mourned for about a day before they returned to business. They just got over it. I don't think I'll ever get over my father's death. I wish he didn't leave at all. He could still be here if he just stayed.

Tears formed in my throat. Why couldn't I have just stopped him? I stared at my necklace and clutched it close to my heart. I feel so terribly alone. It's all his fault. He took my father away and I'll never get him back.

Tris told me to stop blaming the world and blame it on the humanoids. It's their fault for coming to our planet and forcing us to hide. If it weren't for them, I'd have a normal life and both my parents. Thanks to them, I get nothing. Not even a crush to drag me along.

Suddenly the urge to eat hits me. I crawl out of my hole and sit at her table. There a plate of mashed potatoes, corn, and a piece of chicken sits for me to eat. I stab the food with my fork wondering how old this meal is.

My stomach growls even louder for the food presented in front of me. My fork stabs the piece of chicken and I raise it to my mouth. Kind of dry but good enough to eat. My plate is finished a couple of seconds later.

I hear the door click open and Tris walks in here with a bag of clothes. When she notices me sitting there and she smiles at my presence. "Look who finally came out of her hobbit hole." She says cheerily.

I raise my eyebrow at her, "Hobbit hole?"

She shakes her head. "It's a... know what? Never mind. The good thing is that you finally came out. How are you feeling?" Her sympathy is annoying.

My eyebrows drag together thinking about how I felt. "I feel nothing," I say flatly.

I couldn't really tell where my feelings were at. I think I still hate Braydon and I miss my father like crazy. There's a hole in my chest and I fear I'll never fill that void. I want to kill everything in my path but I'm too exhausted to do so. And I want to leave. At least I think this is how I feel.

She weakly smiles at me. She shakes her head at me and gets all preppy again. "So I found the old clothes I used to wear when I was younger. I thought maybe you'd want some since-" She stopped. "Anyway, wanna take a look?"

I nod at her invitation. She brought the bag to her bed and I followed her there. Some clothes look badass but some look questionable. I found some lacy string that arose my curiosity. I held it up in the air and let it twirl. She looked over at it and her face paled at the thing. She screamed and grabbed it from my hand. She threw the thing in her hamper and smiles awkwardly.

Excusing her odd behaviour, I went back to scouring her old clothes. I picked out a white tank top, black jeans, and a nice grey hat. Simple. My new style. An idea popped into her head and she went into her closet. A few minutes later she comes out with a black leather jacket and a cute pair of black converse.

"I can't fit these but I'm pretty sure that you can. Take these," She hands me a bathing suit on top of the other things I need. "and go take a bath. For real this time, you smell." Her face scrunches up. "I'll be there to lather your hair."

I nod and make my way to the bathhouse. I have too much shit in my hands. How am I supposed to open the door with all this? My journey to the bathhouse felt tiring. I should've crawled back into my closet.

The bathhouse door is being a pain in my butt. I tried really hard not to drop my things onto the floor. I mean I could put this stuff on the floor but that means reorganizing just to keep them together when I pick them up again. I look down the hallway to see if anyone was there. Nope, just me.

I hear the door open behind me. Thank goodness, I thought I had to wait for Tris. Elizabeth lights up when she sees me. She notices the stuff in my arms and holds open the door for me. I mutter thanks and walk in without another glance. Rude, but I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone other than Tris.

I head to the stalls and quickly change into my new bathing suit. It's a one-piece that's fully black. It doesn't look too bad on me. I guess I'll give Tris points for knowing me. I leave my clothes on the bench and take my toiletries to the bath.

My toes dip into the water to test it, it's a little warmer than usual but I kinda like it. I dunked myself underwater and swam around the large surface bath. It's like a shallow pool but not. I heard something crashing outside the door.

"You can't go in there!" I heard Tris screaming.

Another loud crash burst through the silence. "You can't tell me what to do Tris." His voice laced with menace.

I stood up in the water. Braydon? My legs began to shake uncontrollably. I haven't seen him since our fight. I wonder how he's doing. He may have killed my father but I can't completely smother the feelings I feel for him. If I could, I would kill him for what he did. But I can't.

"If you care about her at all, you'd give her space." Tris is trying to reason with him.

She's been trying to keep him away and reason him not to see me. I've known since he's been trying to see me for the past while. He shows up at times when I'm feeling better. It's like he wants me to stay upset. He clearly can't take a hint that I blame him for everything and that I don't want to see him. But luckily for me, I have Tris to protect me and stop him from ever letting him get close.

"Please, I have to make it up to her. She's like a little sister, she's all I got left from my past." I hear the desperation in his voice. He sounds so broken. My heart breaks for his pain. But it won't change my mind. It's his fault for letting my father die.

"Braydon. Leave, please." She begs him. "If she sees you like this, it'll destroy her."

See him like what? I fight the urge to go out there and see him. No matter how messed up he is, it won't change the fact that he destroyed me too. I lost my dad because of him. I sit back in the water and wait for Tris to get him to leave. I couldn't stand looking at the door so I turned around.

Soon their fight came to an end and I heard heavy footsteps recede into nothing. I wonder what would have happened if he didn't leave. If I saw his face again? Would I fall back into him or would I scream at him to leave? These mixed feelings for him are straining my mental health.

I hear the door open and close. Footsteps walk around behind me and shuffling of stuff is moved around. A few minutes pass before Tris enters the water and swims over to me. In her hands a bottle of soap, a rag and body lotion.

She doesn't say a word to me as she cleans me up. I let her clean my entire body. I couldn't move, I didn't want to. My heart broke even more if that was possible. All I could think about is what Braydon looked like. I couldn't imagine him any other way than his handsome self.

My thoughts drifted away when Tris washed away all my sorrow and feelings. I got lost in the feeling of the gentle scrubbing and soothing calmness of the warm water. At some point, Tris started humming something I didn't recognize.

"What's that?" I asked her when she hit the chorus a second time.

I could feel her smile when she answered. "I'm humming Can't Help Falling In Love by Elvis Presley."

"Elvis Presley?"

She lightly laughs, "I forget sometimes that you are so young that you wouldn't recognize it. But then again, it's not like their's music playing here. Elvis was the most iconic singer in the world, he was the king of rock and roll."

Astonished and quite curious to hear his voice. Elvis Presley. It sounds weird but I guess it wouldn't be the worst thing to listen to. Tris resumed humming the song and scrubbed me once more.

When she was finished cleaning me, she wrapped her arms around me. It was comforting to know I had someone who cared about me so much to clean me. It was a nice feeling.

"You should wash up yourself. And I'll get changed." I feel her nod in my hair.

She holds me tighter and whispers, "I know it's hard right now but everything's going to be ok." She lets go.

I get up to leave. Over my shoulder, I could see that she began to wash her own hair. I just feel bad for leaving her. If only I could bring myself to tell her. But she'll follow me no matter what I do and she's a reminder. I want to forget and being here is too much to handle.

It will all be easier to just leave. No attachments.

I quickly dry myself and put the clothes on that she gave me. It takes Tris about five minutes to wash but since she washed me up first, it'll take her a little bit longer. This will give me a headstart on my runaway mission. I towelled dried my hair as best as I could. I stop to glance at myself in the mirror. I look like a badass in my new clothes. I just need sunglasses to complete my look.

Tris called out my name when I opened the door but I didn't stop. I ran all the way to my Father's room to grab my keys. On my desk, I noticed a note and a little box.

The note read,

To Zeria,

A little something to make you feel connected.

From yours truly, Dad

I quickly opened the box as quickly as I read the note. In the box lies a key chain with a pretty charm that reads, I love you. He must have gotten me this before he died. I'm hardly here in this room so he must have put it in here for me to find. Before our fight.

I smiled and attached all the keys he's given me. My room key, the office key, the dirt bike key, and my mother's room key. I'll come back here one day. For now, I have to get out. I have to leave all this behind and clear my head.

My guard on alert, I had to make sure no one saw me going out. I don't want people to follow me. I made my way to the garage to get my bike. I grabbed my bike and rolled it around big Bertha. I have no idea where I'm going or how far I'll go. But this is what's best for me.

As I turned the corner, everything stopped.