CHAPTER 15

Y/N

We went to a restaurant I didn't know about in my city, it was really fancy, Jin had a really good taste in everything that includes food. It was an Italian restaurant, we both ate pasta, spaghetti to be precise. It took us long enough,  when we left the restaurant we went straight to the mountain Jin was so excited to climb.

After walking for hours, resting a little bit every hour, we sat on a rock to watch the sunset, it was really beautiful, the sky was mixed with pink and orange shades, almost covering the blue sky, which was becoming darker as the minutes passed by.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" I said, my eyes fixed on the sky. I heard Jin reply a soft 'yes', I looked at him, I thought he wanted to cry for a moment.

"Are you okay?" I titled my head for a better look, I wanted to look straight into his eyes.

He rubbed his eyes, breathing in and out a few times. "Yes, it's just," he made a pause to look at the sky again. "It's so pretty, but since our debut, it's so difficult to watch them, we're practicing almost all the time. When I have a free day I spend almost all the day resting at home, or I've more important things to do at the moment that I can't enjoy this precious work of art. Sometimes I feel that I'm losing the opportunity to see and live these little moments, to enjoy the little things of life. It seems like everyone can do it but me." He low down his head, looking at his tights, I didn't know what to do nor what to say. I knew it's not easy to be a public figure, Taehyung sometimes explained that to me. I felt pain in my heart when I saw him like that, I imagined how he may have felt all those years, I was relieved they had each other, they were never alone.

The sky was almost dark, so we decided to go back to the car, the only problem I had was Jin walking slowly and the dark sky, the only things illuminating the way were the moon and the stars. I was walking next to him, following his steps, the way he was walking, but I was starting to feel tired by then, it felt like hours since we left the rock, but we were still walking. I grabbed my phone to check the hour,  we indeed walked for almost two hours, without any warning I started to feel more tired and hungry, when I looked at Jin he was looking the same way he looked when we left the sunset behind, or when the sunset left us. I decided to speak for the first time in two hours.

"Jin, it's already 23:00, why aren't we in the car yet?" I asked, worried, that place looked really scary when I paid more attention to what was around us. He took a few seconds to look at me, like if he needed a few seconds to come back to the world after being travelling through his mind.

"Oh, sorry, I was lost in my thoughts, but I promise I'll be here now," He looked around, before looking at me. "Go on, I follow you." He said, with a smile, but my face turned pale in less than 5 seconds.

"What? I don't know where we are, I was following you." I said, with a trembling voice.

"No, I was following you." He said, with a frown. 

My breath started to become heavier, like if someone was depriving me to breath, I couldn't believe we were lost in the middle of like it felt nowhere. I started to hear weird sounds, it was probably my imagination, but it was really scary, moreover my mind wasn't helping me neither, it only could think about the horrible things that could have happened to us, until I felt a soft touch in my hands, his hands were grabbing mine. He pressed them tightly, but he never stopped to caress my right hand with his thumb.

"Look at me." I heard his voice, looking for a way to come to my ears, it definitely did. I looked at him, I was on the verge of crying, I was living one of my worst nightmares, but that time I had him. "We're going to be okay, we only need to find the path again, okay?"

We left the path while we were walking, as if we didn't have a concrete way. Maybe that's how Jin felt that night, like if he belong to nowhere.

I felt his thumb caressing my hand's soft skin quickly, pressing our hands tighter.

"O-okay." I said, trying to recover my breath.

"Do you feel better?" He asked me, I only nodded, but he still looked me right in the eyes, like if he was looking for a better answer that could help him understand the way I was feeling, I hoped he did, even thought a blind person could have noticed it.

He took his phone from his pocket, but he exhaled after looking at the screen for a few seconds. "I have no signal, you probably don't have it either." I looked at my phone, he was right.

He turned on his phone's flashlight, I did the same. "Follow me, I don't want you to get hurt." He said, he grabbed my hand once again, but intertwining our fingers that time. I felt a wave of energy covering my whole body. I shook my head, trying to put all my attention on the floor, when I saw it clearly I felt my eyes leave my face, I let out a soft gasped, wondering why I didn't fall once. Jin walking faster was what got me out of my trance.

We arrived at the car at 0:30, I quickly send a message to my mother, I told her what had happened to us, luckily she didn't get angry.  

When I was looking outside the window of the car I let myself breathe calmly and deeply, trying to assimilate all the things that had happened that day. I remembered the way I felt when Jin came that morning, how scared I felt for a moment, when I thought I didn't like him anymore, his laugh, when he looked at me in right in the eyes, when I noticed him staring at me when I wasn't looking after the talk we have had watching the sunset, when his hands grabbed mine...

I turned my head to look at him, the way his hands were pressing the wheel softly, but when the bends came his nails became kind of white, the way he was biting the inside of his cheeks when he was more concentrate on the road and following the melody of the songs when he felt more relaxed. 

I let out a sighed, I wondered if he really didn't notice the way I felt for him, or the way he made me feel. Another song went by, it took me a few seconds to figure out the song, it made my heart skipped a bit, 'Thousand years' by Christina Perry.

I stared at him, wondering why he didn't look me back once, I turned to face the window, my eyes closed. I spend all the way with the sweet taste of the butterflies in my stomach mixed with the bitter one of my broken heart, I knew I was not over him and he wasn't a simple crush to me. 

That time I didn't know he looked me back when I turned around, maybe it was for the best, because it would have broke my heart even more, because he only saw me as a friend.