Chapter Seven

Panic had quite a way of governing me; of clouding my every thought and shaping simple matters into utter doom instead of the small, daily-life problems they actually were. No kid had ever died from getting a red report… and yet, for some reason, my body was convinced I would.

Of course, my thoughts revolved around Chris – around whatever it was I had with him, around the threat of losing that, of being torn away from that place where I could at least sit outside watching my surroundings, expecting to see him and to receive a warm word or two. Moving away meant giving that up, and giving up all the experiences I could have with him in the future, all the different encounters, all the different words and whatever else may come. To my untrained heart, that felt like more than just misfortune… it felt like death itself!

Ah, hope! The hope of gaining his notice, of tickling his interest… 'was that what you thought you would be missing out on – full-blown romance? We weren't supposed to hope so ambitiously, remember?' I reminded myself with a slap to the forehead.

But how could I not hope, when he looked at me as he did, so pleasantly surprised, halting his march, willing to linger there and exchange a few words? When his eyes lit up as they did, and that sardonic smile stretched his handsome mouth, how could I not dream?

…but tomorrow was Friday. The last day of the recreational recess program. I shouldn't even be wasting precious time in thinking of Chris. I should be thinking of a way of fixing my situation. I couldn't help it though: at that point, both things were very intricately related: fixing my grades, staying behind… seeing Chris. I was running late on both, actually: tomorrow was my last day.

"…extra credits activities?"

"Impossible!" Danilo shot down all of my ideas "The teachers are in recess; you can't even beg them for another chance."

Indeed, there were no teachers at school, no one but the administration personnel, the one lonely supervisor who would check upon us occasionally, and the school security officers. None of them could help me.

"You should have started worrying about that a long time ago, now it's too late." He twisted the knife "Your grades are all filed away by now."

Yes, certainly… they were filed, as in tucked away in those big file cabinets in the administration office, main building, 3rd floor. Through all the mental fog panic imposed on me, I had finally had a breakthrough.

Just as the sun began setting down behind the houses in the distance, it was time for us to go. Last minute's desperation pushed me off the edge I had been restlessly sitting on, and I made up my mind:

"You go on ahead. I have something to do."

"I'll wait for you." He said.

"Er… Nah, this will take some time…"

Danilo turned, annoyed:

"What could you possibly have to do here that I wouldn't know about?"

I guess I could understand his annoyance: I had been very secretive and evasive lately… But I was getting tired in my own right, too: we weren't born together, him and I. I was tired of all the constraints his friendship imposed, I was tired of being followed around all the time, and I was tired of him presuming to know everything about me and everything about my life – of scrutinizing and resenting every small change, as if we were immutable. I told him as much. Perhaps in a more aggressive tone than I should have, perhaps too fast and all at once… Whatever cracked that wound open, the damage was done: Danilo was angry, hurt, sulking. He nodded a passive-aggressive compliance, wished me well, and finally left.

I sighed, exasperated by his drama. It drove me to some remorse, but I was unwilling to chase him down and fix it. After all, I was more than partially right, and the important thing was that it worked: he was off my boot and I was alone to do what had to be done.

I was smart enough to hide in the bathroom and wait until later – until it got darker, until Danilo was far enough away and the entire school building thought there were no students around anymore. Then, as everyone prepared to close up shop for the semester and leave for their own short vacations, I stalked the shadows of the walls towards my true objective.

And though it was smart of me to wait until the dust had settled towards the end of that afternoon, I should have guessed Danilo would not leave it alone. As the most self-righteous and vengeful pubescent I had ever met, he would not let me get away with tampering with my report card after he had spent the entire summer worrying about my performance and urging me keep up with his hard work. Petty or not, I knew him to be like that, and it was silly of me not to take it into account.

I gained the 3rd floor, and though the lights were on, there was no one there, just as I had anticipated. It was nearly six, soon they'd come back to turn off the lights, check if all the computers were off, lock the doors and leave for good. I had little over 10 minutes, but that should be enough. I sneaked into the office, grabbed a blue marker that awaited in a cup on one of those desks, then walked around them to the very back of the room, where rows of file cabinets waited. Lucky for me, they were all properly labelled, so the search was made easy. Pen in mouth, open drawer and a hand sunk deep into the files is how I was busted:

"Excuuuse-me!!" Her shrill voice startled me: the school supervisor.

She didn't look surprised, just outraged, poised at the doorway with her hands on her hips. That is, poised before she stormed towards me.

"I can't believe it, young miss!!!" She pulled me by the arm and yanked me away from the files, then spun me around to stare me in the face with her expression contorted with scandal… But, again, not surprised. I'm sure Danilo had told her.

"I cannot believe it!" She repeated with an emphasis "Oh, in my school! Under my very nose… The nerve of you!! What is your name, young miss?"

She yanked the pen from between my teeth, turned herself around and grabbed a random piece of paper from a desk, positioned it against her palm, placed the pen on it and waited, ready to take note. I hadn't answered yet, shock had stolen my voice. Now she stared at me, eyebrows raised, a foot tapping the floor, eagerly…

"Well?"

I stared at her, surprised: she didn't know, did she? There was no one in the building who did. No teachers. Nor any control sheet that knew the few kids who were still coming to the program. It was as simple as that… - the insight struck me – …I wouldn't tell her!

"What-is-your-name?!" she repeated aggressively, and I pursed my lips together.

"Oh, you!!" She scoffed, grabbing me by the arm and dragging me out of the office with her. Once outside, she glanced quickly about her, looking for someone who might assist her. I then found it in me to smile.

"Oh, but don't think you'll get away with this!" She resumed walking and pulling me with her, her high heels echoing through the polished corridors. "Oh, you won't! You picked the wrong day to test me."

I didn't think there was much that could be done to identify me, not even when she dragged me up the main stairs towards the principal's office: the corridor leading up to it was completely dark, so that I was sure no one was there. That is, until she said:

"Oh, he's here somewhere, don't you worry! Tim!" She beckoned the security guard, a heavy man in black uniform that loitered by the staircase dragged his feet towards us. "Do you happen to know who this girl is?!" She asked, her shrill voice bordering on hysteria.

I stared angrily at him. He scoffed a laugh.

"One of them kids, that's for sure. I've seen her 'round here."

"Well, she won't tell me her name, which is what I need. But I'm sure the dean can get it out of her!"

"If he can't, the police will." Tim chuckled amusedly, his round belly shaking as he did. "He'll be back soon, and he's already bringing them with 'im."

"Well, will you keep an eye on her until he does?"

"Sure, sure…" he flapped his hand at us, beckoning her to toss me into the corridor as he guarded the entrance.

"You'll answer to him, you will! And don't even think about leaving… Or Tim will get you arrested!!" She squealed, turned herself around and fumed away, leaving the amused Tim to laugh at her exaggeration, before closing the double doors that separated us, casting me his amused, carefree glance through the glass before turning and guarding the doors with his back.

"Shhhiiiit!" I hissed, collapsing on the leather couch just outside the principal's office and holding my face in my palms.

This was it for me: I had certainly never been in so much trouble as I was now! Not only would my father get my original, untampered report card in all its red glory… He'd also get a very angry call for the antics I had just pulled here. Breaking into the office after hours and then refusing to tell them who I was? Boy… was there still time to call her back and confess? As if that would grant me any lenience after pissing her off so much!

Damned Danilo… Damn my lack of proper friends! I moved my hands from my face to my hair, pulled it back, exhausted, looked down at my own two feet for a full minute in that dark corridor… Then a noise, something falling, drew my attention.

I raised my head in time to see a shadow of movement inside the Principal's office. Fat Tim, at the end of the corridor, stared sharply inside, verifying. He tapped his baton against the glass in a silent threat, before letting things alone and turning his back to me again. I half-rose in my seat, peeking inside the office through the textured glass. It was too dark, but something definitely moved in there. Slowly, I turned the knob, I watched as someone moved subtly, arching forward on himself, a large back towards me…

"Chris!"

I spoke his name almost before recognition hit me – before being completely sure. Perhaps too loudly, perhaps too gleefully, too, with a degree of familiarity that could give away just how much I thought about that name on a daily basis, and how often I repeated it. The suspicion made me blush.

Chris turned his head, confirming it was him: his coppery eyebrows curled over his eyes with tense surprise, then they eased when he saw me… his mouth half-opened, looking for words… I guess this was as strange for him as it was for me!

"Hey… er… you…" he spoke, feigning naturality where there was none. A smile didn't accompany his words.

I opened the door and stepped into the office without quite thinking. It must have come across as terribly invasive, terribly unpolite, because Chris scowled, visibly uncomfortable. I didn't get the hint until I was well inside, though: He sat in a red-cushioned armchair in front of the Principal's desk, the same one I occupied to get my earful on the inappropriateness of dating a boy at my age. Only… Chris was in the dark, and the principal's chair was empty. Curiosity blinded me from common courtesy.

"Oh, excuse-me, I'm so sorry… I just barged in, didn't I?!" I remedied nervously "For a second I forgot… Well, I…"

I studied him, his tense, evasive eyes… it only added to my anxiety, until I couldn't help but blurt out:

"W-what are you doing?"

A long, annoyed sigh broke his silence, and he sat up straight on the chair:

"Well, this is embarrassing…" an annoyed, disconcerted laugh failed to break the ice… in fact, it only made it worse. "…I didn't…" he paused, stared into the distance as if something of very grave importance had happened, before angrily resuming. "I wouldn't have you see me as I am right now."

"What do you mean?" I grew really, really concerned.

Another annoyed sigh followed, and Chris dropped his head, unwilling to answer me.

"See you how?!"

One eager step towards him, then, and I saw it: his hands were bound together and tied to the armrest… by a zip-tie.

"OH!" I gasped, stepping back just as I had stepped forward, a fresh gush of adrenaline pumping into my veins. "W-what is that?!"

…but I had seen that before, once: A drug addict had broken into the school, he tried stealing a car in the parking lot. When security subdued him, they tied him with one of those as he waited for the real police to arrive. The implications scared me… I kept walking backwards until I landed on the Principal's desk, dropping some of his things to the floor and growing even more nervous by the sounds they made.

"NO" Chris became agitated "No, no, no… hey!" he lifted his bound palms towards me in an urgent attempt to pacify my incoming fit "I know this looks bad, but I can explain…"

"I… I haven't seen you today. At all!" My breathing picked up as I tried to understand "But you were here? What were you doing? Why did they…?"

"I was…" he began raising his voice, impatient, which scared me even more. "HEY – Abby… I will tell you, but first I need you to calm down, okay? Calm down, will you? C'mon! Look at me!" he demanded, finally arresting my attention "Now sit down so we can talk."

My heart was his, there was no doubt about that… but instinct, it seems, hesitated at this strange turn of events: unknowingly, my hand flinched away from his attempt of reaching for it.

"I won't hurt you. Come now, sit down – yes, like that. That's a good girl. Now look…" he spoke steadily, firmly, as to prevent me from fretting again "I was here for the day. You see, those boys, those friends of yours – they came looking for me at the maintenance room again. After a lot of insisting, I agreed to playing one more round of poker with them and…" he sighed.

I felt a sting of jealousy – very poignant and hot! Chris's eyes sharpened, detecting it:

"No, hey… I'm-I'm sorry, I didn't even consider asking you to join us because… Well, it was just boys there… teenage boys. It was only a matter of time until they'd start staring at you, you know, with you being the only girl there. It would make you uncomfortable… And me too, because I know what they'd be thinking about, I've been their age before." He shook his head from one side to the other, as if unnerved. "I didn't want to be a part of that."

That explanation… it invited a small ray of light into my crumbling interior. Enough for incoming tears to retract. It also made my cheeks burn with embarrassment.

"Well…" I started, more composed now "…then… what happened… I mean, how did you…" I studied his bound hands, my eyes speaking for me.

Chris chuckled sarcastically, annoyed.

"Hanging out with high-schoolers isn't exactly well regarded, I'm sure I have told you guys as much. And specially today I didn't want to be bothered, but… I felt bad for those damn boogers, you know? Well, the security guard came wandering around, and when he ran into us, he told the boys they had no right being there. Kids are kids: they got scared, blamed it on me…"

"Oh no!!"

"Don't worry" Chris shrugged at my commiseration "It's not their fault, they were right: I'm the responsible one in this story. Or at least I should be. In any case, the police is coming down and this will all be sorted in no time!"

"What is gonna happen to you?"

He pouted his lower lip, thinking.

"A long night at the precinct, talking. An official scolding, I'd say. Then they'll let me go."

"It's not right! You were just trying to distract them… We were here all day, with nothing else to do!"

Chris shrugged, not really sharing my revolt:

"I'm no school employee, you know? If I wanted to amuse you kids, I should have done it through more official means. Signed up as a volunteer, turned in a lesson plan…"

"Why didn't you?" I probed.

Chris chuckled.

"Cause I didn't want to" he tiptoed, careful not to offend me.

"Oh…" I sighed, slightly so. "Well… I'm sorry."

"Yeah, well… But what about you? What are you doing here?"

I sighed and watched my feet for the three steps I took around the room.

"I got into some trouble myself."

"You know you can tell me…" he asserted with a lit-up smile.

I blushed at that declaration of closeness – of almost friendship. It made me feel important. Pursing my lips to hide a smile and thus recall the seriousness of my situation, I told him about my slipping grades, and my father's ultimatum.

"So you do live alone after all…" he teased.

"I do!" vexation heated me up "I wasn't lying!" …not about that, at least. "But… that's a secret I keep from the school."

"Do I look like I'm in any position to betray your secret?" and he pulled his bound hands up, then smiled.

I laughed. He chuckled amusedly… our eyes meeting, lingering… making my cheeks hot and the butterflies in my stomach flutter, as if we had no other problems at all… simply because I was with him. What a curious feeling: to not care about anything else.

"Ah, what the hell…" he sighed. "Get out of here, you don't need to stay! Just run home, they won't find you!"

"I can't. The security guard has got the door…"

"The fire escape is at the other end of this corridor…" Chris reminded, raising an eyebrow that challenged my intelligence.

"You're right!" the fire escape tower was, of course, forbidden area for teenagers, who couldn't wait to get their hands on some dark and privacy. The rules against us so much as going near those doors was so strict, they eventually became invisible, and completely left my mind. "But… won't they run after me?"

"They won't!" Chris guaranteed with a sneer. "They're too busy with me, so tonight's your lucky night. Just go."

I couldn't help but feel bad that my luck came at the cost of his misfortune, but sill agitation shook me. I stared into his expectant, almost impatient eyes that urged me to go, to hurry up and leave… I would obey, and I would be happy to have seen him that day, even under those circumstances…

"T-thanks, Chris. For everything…" I showed him an embarrassed smile.

"Eh, it was nothing …" he showed me a carefree one. "Now go. Hurry up."

Would I see him again? Perhaps not. Would I ever be 14 with a crush on an older guy again, one that was so friendly, nice and accessible? One that looked so good, and that understood me? Never… I was shy, immature, anxious and panicked… but I was still a teenager, and I welcomed inconsequence. I took in a deep breath, locked out my thoughts and bent down to plant a kiss on Chris's cheek.

He glared at me, surprised. I looked away fast, eager to escape the awkwardness that followed. …But I'd felt it: his warm, soft skin against my lips. Little else mattered.

"I hope the cameras didn't catch that, or you've just made my problems worse…" he chuckled nonchalantly.

"Cameras?"

I looked. We both looked. There were no cameras.

"Huh! I did not expect that!" Chris pronounced calmly, almost uninterested.

Meanwhile, my brain started inflaming. My muscles followed. The heat of commotion filled my head way more than the heat of embarrassment could. Dread filled my heart… I was about to do something reckless. But before that, I paused my agitation to look into Chris's eyes. They stared, understanding.

"What are you…"

"How would you like being spared a trip to the precinct?"

"Well, I don't know…" he looked ahead, seeming to reflect "It wouldn't ring well with them, that's for sure. They'd come looking for me at my place – the hotel, that is. Since I've done nothing wrong, I could well just explain to them this is nothing but a misunderstanding, an overreaction on the school's part, but… The problem is some of my fellow contractors are staying there, too. It would be bad for my reputation if they saw the police looking for me. Unless I didn't go back at once…" and his eyes traced the dark, looking for an answer "…but where to go?" he wondered to himself.

"I have just the place!" My heart skipped, jumping at the opportunity. "The brownstone."

Chris's tense eyebrow eased, and so did the tense muscles around his jaw, almost as if he smiled, almost as if he understood something else – something innocent, childish and embarrassing. It made me blush violently:

"I MEAN – the upstairs, of course. It's vacant!"

"I don't know… This could take a while…" Chris shrugged it off. "I don't want to give you any trouble…"

"NO! No trouble at all… It's up for rent, I swear! And I would love it if you came, you have no idea!" a hysterical, painfully anxious smile pulled on my face. My heart was beating so fast… There I was again, letting the cat out of the bag. But I could survive the vexation, if it got me Chris. If it got us so close… The anticipation was killing me. "Please!"

Chris chuckled, as if this whole situation was a joke… as if I was being too naïve, and my suggestion too absurd. A shade of apprehension covered me, for he seemed about to say no, about to tell me I was being silly – I was always silly, of course.

"You're a piece of work, you know that?" he pursed his lips playfully.

I waited, not knowing what that meant.

"Alright, Abby. I'll stay at your place."

Yes!

"…If you I can find something to cut me lose, that is."

After some rummaging through the Principal's office, I produced a pair of scissors that were tucked away in one of this drawers. Chris held his hands apart as much as he could, joking on my being careful not to kill him, and I managed to cut loose the zip tie.

My memory of what followed was the dread, the terror of breaking the rules silently and efficiently replaced by a feeling of exhilaration, of lightness and fun, as well as the electrifying pull of adrenaline. Chris and I moved swiftly, and the urgency of that moment shooed away any lingering trace of embarrassment or composure. There was no time to be on my toes… to think over every word and calculate every approach. We giggled, held in our laughs, shooshed each other and pushed each other in and out of the way as we fumbled, crouched down, through the long corridor the security officer guarded. We looked back towards him each second that passed as we moved to the fire exit on the other end, and when the guard turned… My, when he turned it was like we were struck by lightning! I don't know if I laughed or screamed when he saw us and turned to open the door, simultaneously reaching for his radio and stomping our way. With a few long strides, Chris gained the fire exit door, he pushed the heavy latches and held them open, rushing me with an urgency I didn't need. He held me up as I slipped, failing to slow down, and clumsily like that we had to help each other all the way down the dark metal stairs.

When we reached the first floor, we ran as fast as we could across the courtyard. "Here! I know a way!!" I called, knowing the front gates would be closed by now, and there would be no easy way out but to jump the fence, if we didn't want to go through the porter's office.

We ran around to where the fence was shorter and the ground offered a favoring slope – I knew it to be the best possible exit from skipping detention a few times. The best possible way to jump in was familiar as well, because I'd often arrived late and couldn't miss an important quiz. Chris frowned with an awkward smile as I climbed to the fence, but I guess he was now far too involved in my worst shenanigan to disapprove of my behavior. I just knew that if Danilo could see me now, he'd be horrified.

"Hey!!" The guard screamed, closing in on us. Chris looked back with a start, then climbed the fence just as I landed on the other side. Of course, it was easier for him… with his far superior height, he didn't even need the slope. His arms, it seems, were enough to carry him upwards, too. And as he climbed, the entire fence shook under his weight. Of course, he was no scrawny boy, he didn't even need the help of the slope… and I felt childish for thinking he would consider my route a smart one.

He landed heavily next to me, and the security officer skidded as he struggled to halt his racing at the fence. He briefly considered the climb, looking at his sides and calculating the fence, but soon decided it was impossible following after us in the same fashion. He hurriedly rummaged through his pockets for a large bundle of keys, then handled them with shaky fingers. It would take him forever to find the right one, I'm sure that's the thought that crossed Chris' mind as he chuckled. Seeing his levity, I allowed myself to join in. There was no urgency anymore… we'd made it.

One dark alley later, and we'd lost sight of the school. And together, we followed towards my house.