Chapter Thirty One - Gildarts Is Back!

It was only a couple minutes after Konata had stormed off that there was a quiet rapping at the bedroom door. "Master," came the voice of Ikaruga, "your guests are wondering about you."

Oh, right. I had guests. Not just a villainess who broke into my house to get dicked silly. I gently extricated myself from Sorano's naked form, lying her down in my bed, glad that she had clearly been completely sexual exhausted by my incredible sexual talents, and left my bedroom. It was a simply matter to straighten myself up with a little application of time magic, and in the time it took to cross my bedroom to the door, I looked totally fine, smelled totally fine, and was totally fine.

"I'm sorry," I said, to Wendy and Carla. "I had an uninvited guest."

"Ms. Ikaruga said that you were playing a game with her," Wendy said, completely innocent. "Did you win?"

Carla started to talk before I could. "It wasn't that sort of game, child."

"Yes, I won," I told Wendy, making Carla narrow her eyes at me. I really wasn't making a good impression on her, it seemed like. "Sorry about that. I beat Sorano at the game earlier, but she came here to challenge me to a rematch. I have a feeling there will be many rematches - and many defeats - for her in the future."

Carla's expression was so sour you'd think she'd swallowed a lemon. It wasn't as if I had told Wendy about the specifics. I idly toyed with Ikaruga's panties, stretching and playing with them. It actually took Wendy's wide-eyed blush for me to realize what I'd done. "Ah, sorry. This is a... training exercise, for Ikaruga," I explained. "She must learn to prevent me from stealing her panties," I said, handing them back over to the swordswoman in question.

It was a complete lie meant to keep innocent Wendy unaware of my more lascivious side, but Ikaruga seemed to instantly buy it, nodding quietly as she leaned forward and quietly shifted her weight to let her pull her panties back up. "I understand, Master. I will endeavor to defeat even your deft hands."

"What kind of game is it?" Wendy asked, a faint frown on her lips as she seemed rather confused about the whole thing. "It must be really extreme if you could defeat one of the Oracion Seis with it!" She decided.

I just patted her on the head, trying to ignore the glare of Carla. "I'll explain it to you when you're older."

That earned a very cute pout from Wendy, but I managed to resist the urge to say anything more incriminating.

* * *

"Wow, so adorable!" This was the unanimous conclusion of the Fairy Tail Guild about their latest new member, and I had to agree. "A female Happy!" These words also came out of somebody's mouth.

"Who is this Happy?" Carla snapped, and a blue cat floated up from the crowd, raising his hand nervously, clearly interested in Carla.

Too bad for him, I fully planned to seduce Carla (once she became a cute catgirl instead of a literal cat). Also too bad for him, he was too much of a doofy goofball to seduce her. Well, there were a lot of other... Eggcells? That couldn't be right. "Hi! I'm Happy!" He declared. "You're really pretty."

Carla just humphed at Happy, clearly less than satisfied with her male counterpart. The crowd briefly commiserated with poor Happy before the conversation turned back to Wendy. "I'm a Sky Dragon Slayer," she admitted bashfully, clearly expecting the worst.

"Wow, that's so cool!" "Amazing! Three dragon slayers in our guild!" "Haha, Fairy Tail really is the best guild, aren't we?" "Yeah! Three cheers for Wendy the Dragon Slayer!" She seemed surprised - but very happy - to be receiving so much positive attention, almost basking in it.

We were interrupted, though, by the bell ringing in a distinctive fashion I hadn't heard before. Instantly, everyone's posture shifted, their behavior changing entirely, their attention drifting away from poor Wendy. Except me, of course, who approached the young girl and offered her a position on my shoulders as the entire guild turned their attention outside.

"Gildarts has come back!" Natsu shouted out of the general chatter, clear enough for me to hear.

Oh, right, Gildarts. He'd lost his arm and leg in the recent battle with a dragon, hadn't he? Fortunately, I could easily heal it, making a good impression on him. That would prove very handy when I seduced his daughter into my ever-growing harem.

After some exchanges of words by various people present, explaining the exact situation to Carla and Lucy and Wendy, there was a mechanically-reproduced voice. "Magnolia will now undergo the Gildarts Shift. Will all citizens please take their assigned positions. To repeat..." and looping.

I forgot what the Gildarts Shift was, but was reminded what it meant as the city itself began to split in two with a titanically-loud mechanical grinding noise. He destroyed stuff he touched, right? But couldn't be fucked to use the door or go around things? It was rude, in my view, but hey, I wasn't an SSS-Class Wizard or whatever it was that he was.

"Young lady," he said, as he entered the guild, looking down at Mirajane. "Wasn't there a guild called 'Fairy Tail' somewhere in this area?"

"This is it! It's me, Mirajane!"

Gildarts took a couple seconds to process that, looking around at the crowd of his guild members. "Ohhh! Ha. Wow. It's been a while. Did the Guild hall get a makeover while I was gone?" He asked, looking around.

"Let's fight, Gildarts!" Natsu declared, rushing him, but he was given a one-handed toss into the ceiling, slamming up into it without the slightest tinge of hesitation on Gildarts's part.

"Not today, Natsu."

"Gildarts," I said, approaching him before anybody else could. His brow furrowed slightly at me and the girl on my shoulders. "I happen to have extremely powerful time reversion magic. If you were injured on your Century Quest, I could heal it."

"Ha. Really? That's convenient." He rolled his shoulders, quickly finding a place to sit. He threw off his cloak, letting everybody see the damage he'd suffered. His left leg and arm were missing, and there was a quiet that fell over the room. "Yeah. I failed the quest, I'm afraid.

"No way! You can beat anything!" Natsu said, after peeling himself out of the ceiling and unceremoniously hitting the ground. Gildarts was more preoccupied removing his artificial limbs, quietly unscrewing bits and popping them off, leaving bandages where they'd once attached. "How could something have taken you out?!"

"I'll tell you later." He turned his attention back to me. "Well, go ahead... you're new, right?" He added, with a squint.

"I am," I said, gently placing one hand on his shoulder and sending my magic flowing through his body, rewinding his body further and further with each passing second.

"What's your name?"

"Oh, I am the great and mighty wizard Lee." He let out a small laugh at my self-aggrandizing title, but he stopped laughing when his wounds briefly opened up before being completely undone, his arm and leg reappearing, whole and healthy. His fingers groped and squeezed at the air for a moment.

"Guess you are pretty great and mighty," he said, standing up and testing out his legs. "Damn. It's like I was never even hurt. Almost makes me want to go back out there and restart the quest," he said, in a tone of voice that made it quite clear he had no intention of doing that. "Thanks, kid," he said, placing one hand on my shoulder again and giving it a friendly squeeze. "Well. This went a bit differently from what I was thinking, but let's celebrate, eh?"

There was cheering, and then, in short order, there was the chaos of any Fairy Tail Guild social gathering.

* * *

"My beloved Lee is the best," Juvia slurred out, clinging to her beloved Lee's side. During the festivities celebrating Gildarts' return, he'd decided to get into a drinking contest with Cana, and she'd decided to join him, but he was soooo much better than her at it. Juvia wasn't too worried about her beloved Lee seducing Cana, though, no matter how much he could drink. Though, when she tried to think of why she wasn't worried about it, nothing but a messy fog appeared in her head as she just lazily draped herself across Lee's side.

"Thank you, Juvia," he said, making her heart flutter in her chest, her warm cheeks nuzzling up against his neck. He was so nice to her... "How are you faring, Cana?"

"If you think you can drink me under the table, you've got another thing coming," Cana said, downing another glass of beer while Lee did the same thing, seemingly completely unaffected, just idly burping as he finished off her drink. "Nobody can beat me in a drinking contest," she said, leaning forward, her expression fierce. Juvia shifted her body to hide more behind her beloved Lee from the scary drunk woman. "Uh. No offense, Juvia," she added.

"None taken! I'm not afraid of you!" Juvia valiantly declared, pointing at Cana without the slightest hesitation. Cana pursed her lips for a moment, one eye squinting - then she chugged yet more beer down her gullet. Juvia imagined Cana becoming fat from drinking too much, and quietly laughed at herself. If Cana became fat, then there was no chance that her beloved Lee would be interested in her! He had standards! She didn't know what they were, but they existed!

Juvia had opted out of the drinking contest a good number of beers back, since she didn't want to pass out before her beloved Lee showed this drunkard that he was better than her! Still, she watched the competition with some amount of trepidation, as Cana just kept on drinking, seeming completely unaffected no matter how many glasses she took down. Of course, her beloved Lee did much the same, so she wasn't too worried! What she was worried about... was Wendy! Wasn't all this drinking a bad influence on the girl?

"Wendy," Juvia said, pointing to the girl who was quietly watching the contest from the sidelines, kicking her legs as she watched with interest. "Wendy, don't get, get drunk, like these two! Drinking is bad for you! Okay?"

"You drank a bunch, though, Ms. Juvia," Wendy said.

"And, and look now! I'm drunk! It's noooo good, to drink too much," she said, flopping against her beloved Lee again. "Why don't-" she hiccuped, "-why don't we find something else fun to do, and let these two keep fighting, drinking, whatever," she finished lamely.

"I'm not quite certain that she's able to do so," Carla said, making Juvia huff in annoyance. At least this kitty cat would never be competing with her for her beloved Lee's attention! "But I do agree. Even if Lee has been rather kind to you so far, watching him drink won't help you at all."

"How many more drinks do you have in you?" Her beloved Lee asked, as he finished off his latest drink.

"Lots," Cana said, a challenging grin on her face.

Her beloved Lee seemed to hesitate. No! Was this drunkard going to beat out her beloved Lee? "I do want to show Wendy around the Guild some more," he said, "and if this will go on for much longer, I'm sure she'll get bored. I'm surprised she isn't yet."

"Ms. Juvia is funny," Wendy said. "I'm not bored at all."

Oh, how sweet of Wendy to say! She thought Juvia was funny! Juvia smiled at the compliment. "Thank you, Wendy," she slurred out. What jokes had she been telling, though?

Her beloved Lee seemed to hesitate, then looked over at Wendy, his expression serious. "If you do become bored, don't worry. It's much more important that I give you a proper introduction to the guild, than that I defeat Cana in this meaningless contest."

"Meaningless? I'll show you meaningless! I'll drink you under the table!" Cana drained another jug of beer down her throat, and her beloved Lee copied her. "See? Not so meaningless now, is it? You're starting to get drunk, right? That's because we've been drinking a lot, and you haven't properly trained!" She chugged down another glass, and her beloved Lee once more chugged it down. Juvia started to bite her fingernails nervously. Could her beloved Lee truly lose?!

* * *

We had actually wound up finishing off all the beer at the Guild before either of us had become drunk. Obviously, I had cheated a bit with my time manipulation powers, speeding the alcohol through my metabolism, but that wasn't as grand a strategy as it would sound. I had to pee very badly.

"Mirajane," I said, approaching one of the other two Fairy Tail members on my must-seduce list, Wendy trailing behind me. "Please watch Wendy for a bit - I have to go to the bathroom. She's a new Guild member, so she must feel welcome!"

"Sure thing, Lee!" Mirajane smiled brightly down at Wendy, and I knew the girl was in good hands as I marched off to the bathroom.

After I finished urinating, though, I spun around and saw a drunk Juvia standing there, lewdly staring at me, her lips curled into a grin, her eyes a little hazy, her cheeks flush with color. "Oh, my beloved Lee," she said, practically slamming her whole bodyweight against me in a hug, "I'm so glad that you came up with an excuse for us to be alone like this!"

"Excuse?" I asked, a bit confused about her thought process.

"Bathroom," she said. "Bath, which means water, which means me! That's why you were suggesting that you needed to use the 'bathroom', right?" She wore the cutest, dopiest smile.

She'd been an incredibly good sport about me getting into a drinking contest with Cana to try to start seducing her, so I decided not to disprove her drunken logic by explaining that, no, I just really needed to pee. I grabbed her by the hips and simply slid her up against the wall, checking to make sure the bathroom door was still locked - it was. Plus, there was something strangely sexy about the normally cutely attached and hopelessly romantic Juvia suddenly turning to a trashy drunk who wanted to get fucked in the guild hall bathroom.

Well, it wasn't that strange, but it was very, very sexy. I slid up her clothing's skirt, revealing that pert ass of hers to open air, my fingers sinking into the supple flesh there. Her panties vanished into my back pocket in hardly a second's time, revealing her pink sex, her blue bush that matched her hair as she quietly trembled against the wall. I was curious what she'd say if I teased her - so I decided to do exactly that, just enjoying myself as I quietly pressed my fingers into her butt, watching her shift and move in tense excessive energy, trying her best to provoke me or else simply to reduce the stimulation or calm herself down or something to that effect.

"Please, make love to me, my beloved Lee," she said at last, her voice needy and breathless.

"If that is what my lovely Juvia wishes," I told her, leaning forward to find her lips, kissing at her mouth wetly, a soft moan escaping her throat. I removed my cock from my pants, finding my way inside her a moment later, and she shivered gently in response to the entrance, her sex squeezing down on my cock. My hands slid up her flanks, finding her breasts, giving them a squeeze and grope through her clothes. She pushed back against me, her hips grinding pleasantly against my own, her tight sex squeezing down.

"Ah, ah," she panted out as I broke off the kiss. "I love you, Lee," she said it as this throaty, husky, drunken thing. You could tell her inhibitions were down because she didn't call me her beloved Lee. I gently pumped up into her again, making her let out a soft squeak - then I slid my fingers into her mouth, pressing them down against her tongue. I didn't want her to get too loud, after all.

She just suckled hungrily on them, those rosy cheeks and lidded eyes giving her an intensely sexy look as I fucked her in that position, her wet sex swallowing my cock again and again. "You have to be quiet, Juvia," I told her, and she hummed around my fingers. "After all, if you get loud, then somebody outside could hear us."

"Leffem," she slurred out around my fingers. I thrust myself deep inside her, my free hand gripping her hips as I just held myself down. I could feel the tension in her body, the way she wiggled just a bit against my grasp, trying to get me to properly fuck her again.

"I don't want them to see you like this," I told her, and she smiled lewdly at that, clearly extermely self-satisfied. Her hips started wiggling in an entirely new way, one that was intensely enticing. "Only I should see you like this."

She actually came at those words, going cross-eyed and strangling a moan in her throat as she twitched atop my cock, her pussy clamping down intermittently on my cock. She did manage to keep her volume down, so I started to fuck her convulsing pussy then, just enjoying the constant, exquisite massage, my dick thrusting away as she came. I leaned forward to let my lips meet her throat, softly kissing and suckling at the bare flesh there as she jerked faintly on my cock. My hand slid up to grope her breasts, enjoying the feeling of them through layers of her clothing as her orgasm slowly but surely ran out.

When it did, I intensified my pace, enjoying the strangled squeak as she tried to keep her voice down. I had told her to do so, after all, and Juvia was extremely willing to do whatever I said, especially when I put it like that. I definitely wanted to fuck her silly up against the bathroom wall - that was unambiguous, given what I was doing right then - but I also didn't want anybody else to see her like this. Or even to find out about it. I slowly pushed her further and further up against the wall, practically crushing her between it and my body as I kept pistoning inside her. My lips slid up to nibble on her ear, and then to start kissing her again, enjoying as she let out more quiet noises, so desperate to keep herself silent but never quite succeeding as she shivered against me.

I focused myself utterly on two mutually contradictory tasks: the first was silencing her, swallowing up her mouth with my own, drinking in her every response with my own tongue and lips. The second was to make her come as much as I possibly could, the fingers she'd so dutifully slathered in saliva sliding along her clit, the opposite hand simply groping her breasts as I took her against the wall. I made her come again and again, her lack of sobriety seeming to also make her quite a bit easier to make come than normal, the lovely glow of her cheeks and drunken cast of her eyes intensely sexy.

When I finally did come inside her, she practically slumped against the wall, her whole body trembling with the exertion of our impassioned lovemaking. I actually wound up gently sitting her down on the toilet, pulling up her panties and pulling down her skirt to disguise her indecency as she rested there, eyelashes fluttering softly as she lovingly, dotingly, sweetly, stupidly smiled up at me. I gave her a kiss on the lips, on the nose, on the forehead, but she was so out of it that she didn't seem likely to leave the bathroom any time soon.

Luckily, the Guild had unisex bathrooms, and I had time manipulation powers, so I could simply leave the bathroom, lock the door behind me, and let her take her time to recover.

* * *

Mirajane had given Wendy a couple coloring books that she'd happened to have behind the front desk. The girl was currently happily coloring away. She was really a cute kid. Mirajane wondered who the mother was. The flying cat hovering near her seemed quite maternal, so maybe she knew? "So, who's her mom?"

"I don't know," Carla replied.

"What? How can you not know? My, Lee must have been with a lot of women..."

Carla stared blankly at her Mirajane for a couple seconds, her large feline eyes simply blankly blinking. "Lee isn't her father."

"Are you sure? He's really doting on her. It's not at all like how he treats Juvia, or Erza, or Konata, or Lucy, or Levy, or Ikaruga, or Millianna, or me, or Cana. It's very paternal."

"I'm quite certain."

"Hm. Ah! There he is! Hello, Lee!" She said, waving at the man in question. He just smiled at her. Well, it was always nice to know that a man could be fatherly even if the child wasn't his! It showed a big heart, after all.

"Hello, Mirajane," he said, bowing and taking her hand in his, making her giggle for a moment. He could be such an old fashioned romantic type.

"Lee!" Juvia shouted, bursting forward from the men's room, her cheeks hot with drunken energy. "Lee, you left me in the bathroom!"

Lee had a very poor poker face, which was also a good quality in a man! It showed he couldn't lie to you, after all. He spun around to turn to Juvia. Most of the Guild was looking their way, after all. "I thought you just needed a moment to gather yourself," he said, trembling faintly.

"I did, my beloved Lee!" She said, rushing forward and then simply hopping atop him, forcing him to spin slightly to burn off the momentum.

She looked really happy. Lee a bit less so, as he settled down at the front bar, glancing from side to side for any sign of somebody about to start up a conversation about Juvia's sudden appearance. "So! Why were you two in the bathroom together?" Mirajane asked.

He really did have a bad poker face!