Chapter 15

March 2015

"Put this necklace on. Come on, let's go", Mama gave me the necklace hastily. I wore it around my neck and looked at my reflection in the mirror to see if it was okay.

I was wearing a dress for the recognition day—a day in a year that never really compensated for the time we, students spent studying.

I studied the jewelry that adorned my form. I thought right off if Mama would still give me these if I weren't the first honor. "Tati! Hurry!"

My thoughts faded away as Mama called me impatiently. I hastened towards her and we both got out of the house with Toni.

I expected that we would just walk to school since it was just around the corner, but what I did not expect was Papa waiting for us outside.

"Congratulations, Tati!"

Papa was all smiles as he greeted me like the fact that he was here was normal. I couldn't mirror his expression for my face could only frown as of the moment.

I glanced at Mama who was looking elsewhere. My mind was all over the place with the sudden turn of events but I still tried to smile for Papa who was looking very expectant.

~

"Do I look fine?"

"Whose uniform is this?!"

"Justine, braid my hair!"

"Hey, watch out!"

"Where is my script?! I need to review it again!"

From the doorway, I studied my classmates who were busy doing their own things.

I also scanned our classroom that was in utter chaos. The armchairs were scattered all over and all sorts of clothes were hanging wherever. There was hardly any path to walk on.

Anyone would surely struggle to get past through the sea of mess that was our classroom.

In less than ten minutes, we would already perform our play and for the past few minutes, all I did was to go back and forth the classroom and the gym, making sure that everything was all set up. I didn't even have time to be nervous.

When no one seemed to notice my presence, I just resulted to roaring, "Everyone, on the gym now! Let's go!"

"Tati, wait!" I heard Lea whined from afar. "I don't have time to wait. The teachers are already there!" I lied.

One by one, they immediately moved out of the classroom and headed to the gym.

When the room was finally empty, I drew in a lungful of air and let it out loudly before I followed suit.

•••

The teachers who would judge our performance were already settled in the table at the center of the gym. They were five in total, and my heartbeats multiplied by their number.

"Louise, is everything settled?" I asked Louise who was beside me.

"Yeah", she answered and chortled when she noticed my distress, "Breathe, Tati!"

"I'm afraid I don't have the sufficient amount of oxygen. I'm gonna die, Louise", I exaggerated and looked at her dramatically, "Goodbye, my friend. You will be remembered."

She laughed at my skit. "Shouldn't I be the one who's supposed to tell you that?"

I just shrugged and retorted, "What? Ghosts can't have the right to remember?"

She rolled her eyes at me just as Jane appeared on our side. "Ma'am said we can start now."

I nodded and smiled at her. "Thank you."

I then whirled around and signalled the actors behind. "Position."

They started to go to their respective positions as I murmured, "God bless us."

•••

"That morning, she took the first bus of the day", I mouthed slowly to Kyle who was trying to look at me without turning his head.

I was behind the curtain where our sound system was hidden so it was hard for me to try and rely his line. At the end, he didn't get it, and James and Marlon who was supposed to utter their lines next, also forgot what it were.

Good thing, Nick Sarzuela caught up on it and went on with his line. But after him, there was a dead silence again as James and Kyle struggle to recall their lines. Instead of waiting for the impossible, I signalled at Carol and Nick to just continue the act on their own.

It was a mess, of course. Thankfully, they all remembered the last part and the ending.

When it ended, I turned to Louise and asked, "It was still okay, right?"

She nodded and smiled. "Except for the chorus, everybody nailed it."

I nodded and pursed my lips. I saw Ma'am Angelica gestured for me to come over so I rushed to her side.

"Make sure to clean everything, okay? The other section will perform later", she states and I nodded. "Okay, Ma'am."

She smiled at me upon noting my dispirited state. "You guys did great."

And that was all the reassurance I needed to cheer up. I smiled back at Ma'am Angelica and uttered, "Thank you, Ma'am."

"Go, now", she said and after uttering another "thank you", I went back to Louise' side. Everybody was there, chattering.

When I reached them, Kyle immediately apologized, "Tati, sorry I forgot."

Marlon and James also gave their apologies which I, of course, accepted since there was nothing else I could do.

I was disappointed, yes. I had always told them to practice and memorize their lines but they would just shove me off, saying that they got it.

I sighed as my mood got down again but still I cheered, "Everyone did a great job! Now, get changed, actors, and the others will help me clean!"

•••

When I reached the top of the stairs, I turned left to head to our classroom but I couldn't do so as the hallway was too crowded. Apparently, the other section was now getting ready for their performance.

I realized that today was probably my bad day when some students from the other section noticed me.

"Tati!" Adam Domingo called. Most of them had been my classmates before. They had been great friends, but I was only lucky to be rid of their company. "I heard you guys failed!" he uttered.

I forced myself to laugh and tried to joke, "Not really. We actually did so well that the teachers gave us a standing ovation."

Clint James Mendoza snorted, "You're too pretentious, Tati."

Adam laughed along with Oliver Hernandez and the others who had joined us. I forced myself to laugh again while wishing somebody could save me from this situation.

"We're better", Polo Matira, my distant cousin, joked half-heartedly. I tried to feign some haughtiness and retorted, "Really?"

Hana Marie De la Cruz backed up Polo by taunting, "I heard they said the director wasn't really good that's why they failed."

I forced myself to laugh again. "You should've seen it for yourself, Hana. Your jaw will drop."

"You're not that good anyway", Jamie Ramos hissed playfully and I rolled my eyes in return because I had run out of what to say.

Jamie and I was actually in the same circle before along with Daniella, Sophia Sadim, and Moline Agdeppa. Out of the four of them, I would say that I was closest to her. Although they were all once the closest friends I had.

We were always together before. She was quite a tough one but I wouldn't have her in any other way. She was the best support system I ever had and I just knew she loved me so much although she would never admit it.

Being this uncomfortable around her now would always break my heart into million pieces. I would rather have her sharp mouth over this distance between us.

"You're just rolling your eyes on us now?" Oliver mocked and shook his head, "Tati has really changed."

I just forced myself to laugh again.

I didn't know why they had always held that "change" thing against me. I never changed. I just realized how miserable I had been when I was with them.

Yes, we all did have great times and I cherished them, but they were not the right company for me. They had this toxic sarcasm that I couldn't really handle for I was too sensitive, but I accepted it anyway since they were my friends.

I had put up with their "jokes" that had always scarred me. Their judgments and snide remarks were forever engraved in my head, poisoning my mind.

I knew that for most friendships, it was normal to curse and insult friends easily but I wasn't made for such thing.

My relationship with these people took a toll on me and it was something I didn't want to pay for again.

"I should go. I still need to help take out our props", I excused myself and thankfully they let me.

When I was far away from them, I puffed loudly like I just went to a battle that lasted for years. I wished right off that I wouldn't go through such thing again. It was too draining.