The despair in his eyes

Katherine Samson

Two weeks. For the whole two weeks, they live together. She knows the danger it poses, bringing a stranger to her house. He might kill her. Steal all her things. Leave her dead body in her own room.

She knows she needs to be cautious. Keep an eye on him. Monitor him. He could attack her in her sleep. Maybe suffocate her with a pillow. Or stab her in the chest. He can assault her. Slit her throat, or stage a suicide. Taking all her valuable things when he left. And all of it is feasible and can happen without a moment’s notice.

Her subconscious mind keeps sending warnings after warnings of every possible thing he might do. And yet she wonders why, every time she gaze at his dark grey eyes, sleek brunet hair, and well- proportioned face, her inside will churn in a pleasant way. Like her heart can’t swallow the thought of him trying to harm her. Standing beside him ease her worries. The turmoil of anxiousness and fear of the unknown subsides whenever he came to her line of sight, staring at her with his solitary eyes.

Living together in the first week was awkward. He never talks. Only stare at her with his distracted eyes. He occasionally moves on his feet. Trying to help in his own way to keep the house clean. He would do the dishes after they eat. Vacuum the living room when she’s in her room. Do the laundry when she’s out. And made sure to keep any pests out in their rooms.

He never tells her he cleans everyday. But Katherine knows. Her cleaning detergents show signs of being used. Content easily depletes, the arrangement of things constantly changes, and her room will always smell lilac. Her favorite aroma. Not a speck of dust is seen in other rooms too.

The irrevocable proof he’s cleaning everyday.

She attempts to make a conversation with him. Say thanks, looking for an opening to get to know him better. But he only gives her an occasional nod. Sometimes a confirming look. But his eyes are always far and distant. Looking out at the window, wearing such detached expression. It's like he's not exactly here. Nor anywhere else.

After school break, she asked him to accompany her on her way to university. He gave her the okay. That was the plan. Only to accompany her. But, Katherine thinks otherwise. She wants him to resume his studies. Last night, as she browses the web for news about her parents, she found a fan site named " Looking for our highschool idol." After clicking the site, Michael's face greeted her. On a stage, clasping the stand mic, a red metallic electric guitar hung on his shoulders. He looks happy. Lively. Full bloom of satisfaction and enjoyment etched on his face. One she never witness before after living a week with him.

Under the picture, thousands of comments from fans gone crazy looking for him filled the comment section. Our idol 'Michael Forrester' gone missing. They're starting a petition. A petition for a search party. She can't understand die-hard fans. But one thing is for sure.

Something happened to Michael. Something that forced him to sank in a dumpster like that. Something that dampens his spirit. Something that took away his happiness. Questions like ‘what happened to you?’ attempted to escape from her lips. But she bit them back. She can’t. If there’s something she learns from her parent’s divorce, it’s to not stick your nose to other people’s business.

She learns it the hard way. In whatever way possible for her, she wants to help him. Get back on his feet. She wants to stretch her hand, to the miserable him who’s falling into the abyss. Those eyes, those look he always wears on his face, she wants to take it away. An unknown surge of hope filled her heart. She will take it back. The hearty smile he wears on that stage. She will do anything. To see that smile again, not only on the picture but to the person himself.

Michael stands perfectly still in front of the gate. Gazing the high buildings inside the campus. His expression becomes unreadable. But Katherine knows. Behind those expressionless eyes, is a deep longing to get back the old life he lived.

Crowds of students lined up the entrance for bag inspection. Three guards stationed at the left, right, and center flick their sticks to check each student. The gate for exit is on the other wing. The university is surrounded by six entryways. Three for entrance at the north and east wing. Another three at the south and west wing.

In their right, a Toyota SUV pulled up. Skidding to the pavement, the car’s front is only a meter distance from where they stand. Coming out from the back seat, a girl with a loose ponytail and big square glasses step up. Katherine doesn’t know why but there’s something about her appearance that feels off. Like she’s wearing a cover-up or something.

The girl shoulders her black backpack and slammed the car door close. Folding her long checkered sleeves properly, she straightened out her elbows if the folded length matched.

The window sill opened, revealing a man with unkempt jet black hair and stormy-blue eyes that glint in the sunlight.

" Careful not to be devoured out there, little pixie! Men are nasty predators you know! " he shouted inside, giving her a mock salute. The girl snickered and lean her elbow on the car’s roof.

" No. It’s you who supposed to be careful rat-faced. Especially from big bad cats. They're extremely ravenous. They can sense a rat even if he's inside a car. "

Even from their position, Katherine can see the man puffed his cheeks and blow air on his nose, obviously hard enough to shake the dangling toy chains on his rearview mirror.

" Shut up. " he scowled. The girl smiled in satisfaction.

" See ya around rat-faced. And remember, if I ever see a single tear coming out of Luke’s eyes I'll literally turn your face into a rat. " she threatened.

" Yeah, yeah. Just get inside. It's already late. " he lazily said and waved his left hand, shooing the girl away. She shrugged and make her way inside.

Watching as the scene unfolds, Katherine can’t help but wonder what’s the relationship between the two. Close enough to throw bickering at each other, but not intimate enough to say their lovers.

More like a father dropping his teenage girl to school.

“That girl just called that man rat-faced.” Michael whispered. Katherine froze. That was the first time she heard him speak. She barely caught the words, but she’s sure of what he said.

“ Will you be scared of him? He’s a rat. According to her. ”

And then Michael’s lips quirked up. His eyes lit up in humor and his face took on a playful expression. The first she’d seen from him in days.

At that moment, Katherine realized. She’s seriously in trouble. It only takes one smile… for her to fall for him. And she’s falling hard.