Things changed

I felt like my inside had turned out

What does he want?

hasn't he broken me enough.

Yus senses the tension and comes to my aid once again

"Are you alright jane?"

He tries to come between me and Ty .

then before I reply ty stares at him intensely then replies

"yeh man u cool?just need to speak to MY WOMAN"

I stand there like a deer caught in headlights, it's a split second and he pulls me firmly to my door then I shakily unlock it .

Yus is left standing there speachless unable to help.

ty promptly looks over his shoulder snickers at yus and closes the door.

as I turn to sit on my bed Slap!!

"you wanna play out on me my girl?"

he grabs me hard and shakes me .

I don't respond due to fear.

he then pushes me on the bed and starts to take off my clothes.

"I told you you are mine!who's that paki?"

he pulls my legs apart and tries to penetrate me.

I just manage to whimper a NO and push him off,

I get up and shakily start

"that 'Paki' is my true friend ......Fuck you all you do is hurt me ,

he helped me more than you ever did.

He has a name Yus by the way.... not Paki don't come here disrespecting people.... trying to rape me....you bastard I will get awway from you.. you will see"

he laughs loudly

"here's your weed baby girl... I love you,

even when you talk shit! come to me let me show you pleasure I dont need to rape you....I will just take what's mine "

like hell I will I go to him...I go to the door to leave his suffocating control, he jumps up and blocks me

" you think you can ever leave me? Im gonna scar you for life a reminder ur mine and can't escape"

with that he strips all my clothes off.

pins me down and whispers

"you'll never get away....there's no use screaming, I'll just do it longer "

he traces my body kissing every place, making me revolted.

he grabs my neck while rapes me.

after what felt endless

he finishes, he turns me around and bites my back with so much force I scream out in pain.

he gets off me looking disgusted drops 8th of weed and five pounds on the bed and gets dressed to leave.

His parting words as he opens the door are

"mind your Pakifriend and be a good girl.... stay in your room.... if I catch you with next man I will kill you"

he turns quickly gets out his knife and pushes it in my leg with pressure, not piercing it but it Fucking hurts.

he speaks once more

"you are at my disposal noone Cares about you but me....do you understand? or I'll let the boys have fun with you at the same time"

he kisses me and leaves.

I'm naked, crying and violated again it's just too much I need to die...

Yus comes to my door. .. I'd been sitting staring out into space smoking my spliff for twenty minutes

"Jane are you alright??"

I can't talk so I wrap my hoddie tightly and pull on a long skirt and open the door

"what happened?"

I look at him and I can't talk neither cry so I sit down and wait til I feel like talking.

he pulls out a Dr p I take it drink some ,then shove whiskey to refill it .

then he bills a spliff we take turns in silence then looking away in shame I speak

"no I'm Fucking not fine I never will be ....he raped me..... i feel so shit...it's all my fault"

then I started throwing things and punching things.

he grabbed my arms in an attempt to calm me and said

"you need help jane... . I am here and you CAN trust me"

I flung myself in his arms he patted my back awkwardly after ten minutes I let go and said "he is a really bad guy.... I'm so Fucking scared...he's done so many things to me "

he spoke with conviction I didn't possess

"I won't let him hurt you anymore as long as Allah allows me I'm your shield...he'll have to get through me in future"

he spoke about how it was being with guys who disrespect girls although he stayed chaste and didn't steal but his company was bad

.....I drifted off to sleep at some point.

when I woke it was morning and black street was playing quietly.

he was sat on the other bed asleep really how could he be so good to me?

So it's been five days since ty came.

andmy resolve strengthened i need to be a Muslim.

I read enough to know that it's the only truth.

Yus told me to go to the mosque when I'm ready.

im ready to stop weed and drinking and my racy life.

I'm on my way to the mosque every woman there was so lovely ,I got showered with gifts money,hijabs and someone even got me an abaya from the shop.

I repeated the words that changed me and my life forever

"there is no thing worthy of worship except Allah and Muhammad is the messenger of Allah and Jesus is a prophet of Allah "

I came back and asked Yus to explain the tenets of faith which he did and I wore the hijab and abaya I won't take it off ever insha Allah

"Jane I want to just say masha Allah you are a better muslim than me"

I blushed and said "actually Yus my name's mahfuzah now"

he's eyes showed happiness and shock

"it's amazing you want to change so much but you can keep your name it's ok it's not a bad meaning" I said happily

"no I really really love that name it means guarded protected so it's perfect and what I want to be and what I need"

he chuckled and told me he's busy but I was happy to be with myself and with ALLAH Lord of the world's .

Some months later

Oh Allah bless me in this marriage!

I wrote Yus a letter

"assalamu alaycom I feel a connection to you and as we've been talking I feel we should be together but we can't be friends I wanna grow together in our deen(religion)I don't know if you can accept me but I've told you everything about me and if you accept me for who I am now then maybe if you want we could marry I can't imagine my life without you even if I never see you again I will be indebted to you through you Allah guided me so what I'm trying to say is will you marry me?" As I handed him the letter I felt sick I stood there waiting for a reply he said nothing and drew his hood over his face and walked away.

I felt broken but I understood.

I let him alone ,after an hour he knocked on my door I opened it he looked down

"you wanna walk?'

I nodded shyly we walked silently for half hour til we reached our spot the hill overlooking the city .

we sat in opposite walls and he handed me a drink then spoke

"you know I never had a girlfriend or relationships so I'm completely freaked about talking to my parents about marriage,I really respect you I've grown attached to you even though we only talk and walk ,you have nothing to be ashamed of Allah wiped your sins when you testified the truth I would marry you but I need to tell you about me my situation and I need time"

I was comforted somewhat so I just nodded enjoying the summer night he didn't say anything else and we walked back he dropped me to my room door "night mahfuzah salaam alaycom"

"wa alaycom salaam Yus"

he cleared his throat smiling like a kid

"it's yusuf actually I only give close ones to me ,my full name"

with that he left I watched him dissapear my heart throbbing and with joy his close ones .....such a shy chaste man that's the first insight he gave me of how he sees me.

I slept like a baby for real feeling truly loved and blessed in a beautiful way........

(coming back to the drama of post marriage later for now enjoy the wedding)

I was so nervous he wouldn't come but here I am the late one the plan was to meet at 3.30pm at the mosque where the imam would perform the marriage rites.

just us and two witnesses from the community anyway i text "I'll be there soon so sorry"

7pm he was there looking gorgeous and worried we said salams and entered the imams side room where he had two witnesses.

we complete the ceremony in five minutes I'm like so red by now we leave as a real couple I love him already he's just .....I can't get enough I'm greedy for him ,just to look at him in the eyes and hold his hand ,

which he did straight away l. Feel so special I don't need a wedding extravaganza,my heart is in a full swing party with all the colours of your imagination .that's what he makes me feel.

I thank Allah for his blessings .

backto pre marriage..

....

Yus was really pissed that I had a slap Mark on my face and livid about the rape.

I stayed out his way the conversation we had in the morning was playing on my mind

"Jane why did you let him in?"he seethed

I was angry he asked me that,I'm regretting having this conversation already

"are you blaming me?"

he looked shocked

"no of course not but he's so bad.... if I knew I would have tried harder to stop him"

I broke down

"he said he'd let his boys do things to me.... if I don't let him use me he will kill me.... if I'm with any guy even a friend.....I don't know what to do....I'm in deep shit with the weed I can't leave he'll definitely kill me.... I'm not joking he's proper omen evil"

Yus looks deep in my eyes

"I care about you like a sister and a true friend I really want to help I'm not as mellow as I look I have a past and trust me I can by Allah do serious damage.... I'm staying calm for you but if I see that bitch he's DEAD ...YOUR SO STUPID WHY why did you allow yourself around scum like that?"

he exploded unexpectedly.

With that I said extremely upset

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE"

he looked guilty

"I'm I I'm sor...."

I pushed him out and closed the door sobbing again.

He was right I let this happen why'd I get with a guy ten years older than me involved in drug growing and selling.

He has ruined my life may times.

Everytime I try to get away he traps me reminding me his cousin will know because of my crying from being beaten by ty ,the police seized the weed plants literally 1000s of pounds worth.

ty was the'gardener' so he stayed at home preening the plant.

I never saw the second room full of weed til I was living there four months. when I knew it was binding I didn't talk about it .

as I saw it free off cuts of weed little did I know it's big man game.

So later on as on miserable cue ty turns up at my door with weed and food.

I again have to let him in because of his threats.

I'm standing at the door he kisses my mouth uninvited by me , then moves me inside and closes the door.

after two minutes I see his nose flaring in anger,

then he does something unthinkable.

he grabs my down below squeezing me hard

"I Fucking told you that you belong to me including that "

he releases me then I see Yus hat on the bed.

oh shit!I'm dead.

He slams my face into the wall.

I feel like my nose is broken then he kicks me repeatedly saying

"you love that Paki but we're black our women are ours and I won't allow it "

just then Yus appears

"I forgo..."

He doesn't finish he's sentence as the door was a jar he popped he's head in.

he launches at ty full force they scuffle and ty ends up putting his knife on yus's neck .

Im so scared Yus chokes out while throwing ty on the floor

"she is a woman.....no Real man treats a woman as a punch bag....take your cowardice out on me,not Jane.

by the way I know your cousin and he's shit scared of my brother mustafa so back off she's under our protection now"

ty looks shook and straightens up

"you know what burn that bitch!she's no good anyway stupid dutty hoe, go fuck yourself and let paki boy show you pleasure I'm out"

he walks past Yus and towards the door and whispers

"I will have you one more time "

I shiver and slam the door.

I collapse from my beating .

Yus holds my back and soothes me that it will be alright .

back to the marriage day....

we get home after the ceremony.

he stared out the window I didn't feel to disturb him.

so I laid on the makeshift floor bed we currently have.

it's he's flat and I've never been there so slightly awkward to walk about doing my own thing...

I had a ciggerette i could not stop as yet and stared off eventually I drifted off to sleep.

I woke to find him awake. we prayed fajr and sat awkwardly he broke the tension

"I think we should divorce....,I haven't slept and i been thinking....I don't know if I can do this my parents they may flip out and it's hard to explain!"

I got up enraged

"you pussy... after all that we've been through you say this to me?"

he looked so mad like I've never seen him I closed my eyes waiting for it .....he stormed out.....door slams

What the?

I am not used to this he didn't hit me?

I felt bad I ran as fast as I could

"yusuf please wait I'm sorry"

he found a place to sit in an alleyway and sparked a cigarette and looked down I stood in front of him

"Yus I know it's hard and if they dont agree then we'll divorce but please don't leave me"

I whimpered and he looked up

"you know what I am sorry...... I freaked out I'll always be here for you..... it's just .....complicated"

I inched closer and cuddled him.

I felt butterflies and warmth.

I can't let him go I cried on his shoulder he whispered

"I really care for you,you know that right?"

I nodded.

We let go and held hands walked to the shop to grab breakfast then headed home when we got there we ate in silence still uncertain of the future.

back to pre marriage.........

We didn't think it would work so we started to stay away, as I wanted to be a good muslimah.

I'd been Muslim two weeks and I'd given him that dam letter .

we had many fights... I'm remembering with regret right now.

I hope he comes to the marriage ceremony it's a week away and I'm at my mums.

I can't call... we just have the date and time if he comes I will be so happy my heart is breaking though coz I may never see him again...

ty came back as promised two days after i became muslim he knocked I thought it was Yus we were somewhat engaged ,as the plan was to marry within the month anyway I opened it turning my back.

"Yus we should only meet in public it's only because you honour me I'm gonna allow you this time .want tea ?maybe we can discuss a date and time for the wedding?Yus?"

I turned around my heart flipped.

Allah help me tyrese looked animal angry

"YOU BITCH"

HE rips my scarf off

"you think your clean now coz your a Muslim?I'm gonna teach you a lesson little girl"

I froze oh no not again ...he proceeded to take off my trousers and tied my mouth with my scarf then shoved some pill in my mouth forcing it down my throat .

I felt heavy he then took off his trousers and began forplay at that moment I groaned involuntary, I guess its the pill coz I wasn't enjoying being violated .

at that moment Yusuf knocks the door hearing my moans.

ty enters me as Yus pushes the door (why is it always open?)it folds under his weight and opens he's wide eyed and disgusted at the sight.

I struggle but can't seem to make my limbs move

"what the hell mahfuzah???"

ty stops and pulls up his trousers (I'm covered by a sheet )he laughs

"your innocent fiancee enjoyed me before you whatcha gonna do my yoot?"

with that Yusuf launches at him punching him numerous times ty cowers not able to keep up with yusufs strength, ty manages to pull free looking fucked I feel relived and scared of Yusuf.

"I'm going man why bus man up for a girl?"

he turns to ty like a storm to the sea

"I told you to leave her now get ready for real beef....you tried to ruin her but she keeps getting up no matter what,...God is with her you try to take her honour but as you do wrong she gets raised in rank.... you'll get your punishment,and know from this day forward you will never have her love or comfort or trust and you'll never taste her sweetness and I know you've never experienced it because she could never open up to you.... I tell you your loss she's amazing and I can't wait til she's my wife,NOW FUCK OFF BACK TO YOUR LOW LIFE HOLE and wait for Mustafa to find out you fucked with MY fiancee"

then ty stood up and said things that shocked me "I'm really sorry that I hurt you Jane I loved you so much....,I wanted you and didn't know how to treat you I am the biggest loser coz I lost you won't you give me a chance?"

he said holding his stomach.

I sat up put my sheet around me and spoke

"you hurt me so bad I wanted to die you took my honour and life away and you want a chance?"

I grabbed a knife and plunged it in his left shoulder he screeched in pain.

Yusuf caught my hand and said

"stop he's not worth it.... let my boys deal with him"

He stood up touched my face ,tears streaming down his face .

before I'd be fooled now I know better

"no chance.no excuse. I don't and never did love you I just cared too much for my own good please leave"

I collapsed on the floor crying Yusuf pushed him out and closed the door.

yusuf turned from the door sat next to me and put his coat on my shoulders and passed me his water bottle

"what is wrong with you huh ?why did you let him in ?did you want him?can't you wait for me?I can't Look at you right now....how could you do this to me?"

I felt sick I wanna explain bit he's so angry.

I'm scared he moved his hand near my face I closed my eyes waiting for the punch

"I deserve it"I said ......nothing happened I opened my eyes he was crying I tried to touch him "don't Fucking come near me, who do you think I am I would never hurt you"

I got up shakily and went to the bed I cried so much.

Yusuf left I felt so dirty so evil What am I gong to do?

Three days later I saw yusuf he looked drained and sad.

he was on a bench I sat at the far end and spoke "Yus I thought it was you at the door I told you to come in because I know your a honourable man but I said just this once ......why can't you see I care for you I don't wanna fight I need you please dont hurt me with your silence and indifference .....I can't cope .....he keeps doing this to me I don't want it"

he looked skeptical

"why where you groaning with pleasure then huh?I only helped because you disgust me being a Muslim and having sex before marriage....have you no shame?"

I felt sick and hurt

"he drugged me Yusuf.

I didn't have control.... I hated every last second of it.... how can you think that low of me? "

I ran away I couldn't take him judging me and hating me.

He knocked on my door sometime later "mahfuzah I'm sorry I was wrong can't you open up so I know your okay?"

I cried but i couldn't face him

"I'm fine.....please leave....I can't do this maybe we should not be together"

he was quiet for a while then said

"you don't mean that..... you mean so much to me my heart aches to be with you.... to hold you but I can only do that halal with marriage.... please think about it"

he left and I opened the door there were carnations and a small card.

Assalamu alaycom my soon to be wife insha Allah I hope you are not too hurt from what happened I want to take you to hospital I'm waiting out the front please come.

I wish I could hold you and tell you I'm here for you but I can't yet please forgive me I'm jealous over you but I would never hit you please dont be afraid of me I only tried to protect you not scare you I hope you'll marry me.

I got up fixed my scarf and went to join him "mahfuzah we have to go you were forced twice now he needs to be put away or I'll dish out my typa justice"

I nodded hesitantly but I didn't want yusuf in trouble .

We went I had a rape examination and blood test we waited long then I was called

"miss Jane McGregor"

I walked to the doctor pulling Yusuf with me we sat

"miss McGregor what I have to tell you may upset you but I have to none the less your pregnant about 3weeks "I fainted .

Yusuf pov

Oh fuck! what has he done to my baby... I love her but this is huge...how am I gonna leave her now?she can't kill it so I'm gonna have to try support her.. ow shit my mum is going to kill me but Allah will help me I'm trying to do the right thing .....she is still asleep poor girl she has no one he's such a lowlife parasite if it wasn't that I want to spend my life with her I'd of killed him no hesitation.

back in the day I was known for getting rid of problems... I can't do that now I wanna be a good muslim not a thug I gotta protect my girl though I'll call Mustafa.

"Bro listen tyrese ,durells cousin has been attacking that girl that converted and you know she's practically your sister in law....I need your help don't let anyone in the family know....I trust you bro"

Mustafa asks

"what exactly happened?"

I sigh i knew he'd wanna know

"he's been beating her from time...,but more recently he raped her two separate occasions and now she's pregnant... it's so fucked bro"

Mustafa did his cold calculating silence (which means he's beyond angry and ready to do the job)

"yusi even if you love her that baby has gotta go ... absolutely no way are we raising d man's crew offspring it's not good for our rep plus.... you'll be disowned by all the family,I get how you feel but think bro really think....but imma handle tyrese don't sweat it he's as good as dead to her now ight "

I couldn't hold it

"Mustafa how can you say that she's been through so much ....I dont care what happens the child is half of her and I would never kill what Allah made ...she and that child are innocent ima be there for them insha Allah"

he said quietly

"your funeral"

and hung up..What the Fucking hell is that supposed to mean?

is that a threat from my own brother?

either way mahfuzah is safe because he hates men who pick on women so that's sorted.

now for my princess.....

morethan a year gone by .....

Halal our 6 month old is growing well I love her despite the circumstance.

yusuf is so great with her but he's suffered so much for us .

it hurts that I put my husband through so much pain.

It's almost bed time halal is ready to sleep .

I feed her my milk cradling her sitting on my favourite feeding chair .

Yusuf comes and kisses my lips then sits in front of me while halal doses off

"mahfuzah I know your scared but when can we consummate our marriage....I can't hold on any longer you won't let me complete when I start...I want a child with you.... I love you so much haven't I proved that yet?"

I stay quiet and place halal in her cot put a kiss on her head and leave the room.

I put on the kettle Yusuf comes in and pulls me into a hug and begins kissing me.

then he's hands trail about me he becomes forceful undoing my clothes.

I scream and punch him "get off ty don't touch me"

he is stunned

"what did you say??"

he looked so angry "Mustafa was right what was I thinking....Halal is not my child my wife can't remember my name....she doesn't even want me to take her....I love you but how's it ever gonna work if I can't be with you....,don't you want me? I've waited so long to taste your sweetness and give you your every desire I saved myself for my princess and because she happened to need time I gave it even though it hurts ....What I gotta do baby tell me?"

I flung myself in his arms whispering

"make love to me"

he was so gentle and that's what I needed it was so perfect i felt complete with him and safe and all the troubles and worries melted away after he whispered

"I love you princess no matter what don't forget that "

i felt elated but one thing was bugging me what did he mean Mustafa was right and halal is he's he accepted her didn't he?

I started thinking about the last six months and he turned to me cuddling me from my back and looking over my shoulder at me interrupting my thoughts

"what you thinking princess?"

I sighed deeply not wanting to ruin the mood but I need awnsers

"Yus why did you say halal isn't yours ?we both know what we were getting into before she was born and what was Mustafa right about?"

he tensed and sat up pulling me to face him "mahfuzah I gave up on my crew for halal ,my brother said no one will accept me raising dmans crew's offspring I'm in a lot of shit on both sides....I'm a dead man Mustafa is protecting us for now but he's angry at me.

mum and dad have said I bring shame on their family .

your all I have but dont get me wrong all I want is you .....its just i wish my family were there for me it kills me that I disappointed them,but I think I'm doing the right thing helping you and doing things halal insha Allah I just gotta be patient"

I was stunned at this revelation

"you did all that for me?May Allah reward you for your intentions....I had no idea about your family please let me help"

he pulled me close playing with my hair

"I didn't ever want you to know you been through so much I wanted you to enjoy your pregnancy and concentrate on halal ....I can't give you much materially but emotionally I'm rich alhamdulillah I really love you sweetheart"

I pulled him in for a kiss then one thing lead to another we spent the whole night together I praise Allah for a husband like mine

Yusuf pov

I'm still waiting for her to wake up it's been two hours I'm so worried for her I squeeze her hand "mahfuzah wake up" she stirs my heart flutters the talk we're about to have won't be easy

Mahfuzah pov

I feel a hand squeeze mine and hear my name I open my eyes and Yus is there I'm lying on the hospital bed then all the memories come back that useless piece of shit got me pregnant.he truly has scarred me Yus will leave me now "Yus I'm sorry I didn't know I was pregnant we can leave it here I hope you find someone who will appreciate you and deserves you "he looked so offended"how can you think I'd leave you it's not your fault,I'm not so low as to leave at the first sign of difficulty"I was so sure he'd not want anything to do with me."I'm so angry I don't want this baby a constant reminder of ty I'll never love it .call the doctor I want an abortion"he stood up livid "mahfuzah out of all people you turned out to be the most heartless.how can I marry a woman who will kill an innocent child,I thought you understood Islam but clearly you don't

Young Muslim men should hasten to marry women such as these who have been tormented, so as to reduce their suffering and console them, to compensate them for the loss of the most precious thing that they possess, which is their chastityAnd do not kill your children out of poverty; We will provide for you and them." [6: 151] and,

"And do not kill the soul which Allah has forbidden, except by right." [17: 33]. You see the child didn't do anything wrong so you should think before you speak" he walked out to cool off I sat up and got dressed ready to leave he's outside on his phone I only hear"ima be there for her even though she's mad"I clear my throat and he hangs up "so you still want an abortion?"I shrugged"that piece of shit ty needs to know coz I want to live without fear of him finding out"he wasn't pleased but agreed we left the hospital and took a cab to tyreses house I knocked he answered the door"oh Jane you coming back huh?I missed you wifey take off that stuff your home now"I storm in followed by Yus sit on the couch and start talking"do you know what you have done to me.I'm pregnant and it's because you raped me "he looked baffled then had a broad smile"oh Jane that's great news I will never let you down again I know the circumstances weren't right but I loved you and still do I couldn't resist you please understand.I will marry you and take care of you and our baby"I smirked"YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY CHILD I'm just telling you what you did but I will never forget about what you did to me .This baby will have the best dad yusuf you stay away.I'm gonna go to the police Bout this incident and you won't be able to hurt me anymore"he spoke again Yus was next to me "idc how my child ended up in your womb but it's mine and no pakiman from mzed raising my baby u Fucking marry me or no one.you stabbed me so try going police I got the weapon and hospital report."I got up and went to our old room grabbed my last stuff I said as I entered the room "Yus fuck this lozer he can't even keep respect when he clearly did something wrong.I will NEVER look at his face again insha Allah "ty stood menacingly and towered over me placing one hand on my tummy "watch it I'll be back for you"I removed his hand and pulled Yus with me out the door "REMEMBER YOUR MINE"he laughed evilly I retorted "in your dreams asshole"with that I slammed the door

After that night we never spoke about these things again I was happy and yusuf found a good job in telly marketing good pay less hours .we'd have a routine praying learning and watching halal grow,about two months passed like this til I realised my period never came so I thought while Yus is at work me and halal could go on a shopping trip and pick up a test.

While out guess who I bumped into tyrese "Jane is that our baby?"I cut eyes at him"no it's mine"he called durell and told him to take halal we were hidden from people in a side alley as I got my test and halals baby stuff so we were walking home I struggled and screamed but to no avail they took her and ty called two very scary looking guy's and put me in the car next to halal .we drove for two hours and reached a house they roughly took me inside.ty was holding halal cooing at her durell said"you are never to leave again ty told me what you did my boys broken coz of you and YOU owe me"he snickered oh fuck he knows about the weed I reach the house they take me to a room and durell says "put on any dress and make up ima be back for you bathroom is there"with that he leaves I hear halal laughing at least she's ok ...What do I do?the scary guys drop my bags to the room and ty brings halal "you know I did warn you but your too stuck up I feel for you but I can't help you dman wants revenge he's been waiting for a long time I suggest you co operate or he'll be rough "i started to cry he shrugged "ima catch up with the baby what's her name btw?"I said "halal yusuf"he smiled "halal I like that but it's halal Winston you know that's my last name baby "I cringed as he left the room.I went to the bathroom with the test waited agonizingly for the results it said positive I'd be happy but given the circumstance I might well lose my baby .....there's a knock"Jane you ready yet?" I open the door and beg"durell I'm so sorry about the weed,ty beat me and I was crying so the neighbour called the police and they search the house and took the weed.I don't know what he told you but he raped me that's how I got pregnant so I never hurt him I swear he constantly beat me about everything.I need my baby and I can't change into that stuff I'm married and Muslim this is so bad I'm also pregnant don't do this to me"he pulled me into a hug"I didn't know why didn't you tell me .I can't let you go but the weed things forgiven .rest now I gotta sort shit out " I hugged him back in relief he let go and stormed out shouting at ty after what seemed like years ty comes with halal looking mad and beaten he places her in the buggy as she's asleep "you are like a curse for me but I still want you "I squirm in disgust he enters the bathroom to clean his bloody nose "What the Fucking is this?you pregnant with yusuf now huh?I'm gonna have my revenge let him see HOW it feels for next man to steal his woman and child haha how perfect"I move backwards he comes towards me and kicks my stomach I scream in pain he then laughs so hard "stupid girl I'm not letting you go and that baby is dead you will give me another one whether you like it or not"with that he leaves and locks the door ......I'm still on the floor in pain alhamdulillah no one raped me .the jerks think they have my phone but Yus gave me an emergency one in case I lost my other one which I keep in my abaya pocket I open the phone dial Yus"Yus something happened I'm locked in a room with halal tyrese and dman got me when I was shopping I'm so scared dman was angry and he was going to rape me but I told him I'm pregnant and about how tyrese treated me and he let me off but said he can't let Me go please help me ya Allah tyrese kicked my stomach I'm scared for the baby"there was silence is he crying"baby I'm so sorry I should of never left you without protection ima speak to Mustafa see if I can find you subhanallah I'm going to be a father again....please stay strong my princess I love you I'm the worst husband how did this happen?he's a dead man we should have reported him to the police,you acted in self defence stabbing him after what he did to you....is halal ok?"I sighed"she's asleep and she was laughing away at ty so irritating" I said"gotta go someone coming"he said the only thing that's true"may Allah protect you" I quickly put the phone back in my abaya and the door open......

One of the scary guys come in I recognise him "Jane I'm devante your my sister from the same dad I can't believe what has happened ima get you AND halal out but it could take time please be patient"I was shocked I remember my mum babysitting him we're one year apart I'm age 19 so he's 20 my dad remarried my mum after his first marriage failed but I didn't know he's my brother "devante I'm pregnant and ty kicked me I need a doctor"my brother said "I'll try get a nurse to come but promise you won't talk about this situation with them or I'm a deadman"he came and sat next to me I rested my head on his shoulder and he rubbed my back I began crying "sis I promise I'll try to help you I'm just so tied in this crew they'll kill me if I leave I'm actually Muslim aswell sis I converted 2 years ago"I felt joy I have a brother on the same way as me at least in this horrible situation something beautiful came I stopped crying"alhamdulillah alhamdulillah you have to get out of this crew I really want my brother" i feel so happy finally I can have some one of my own we hugged in joy then halal started screaming "your turn bro"he looked honoured tears glistening he picked up halal swaying her like a professional"how'd you learn that?"he smiled sadly"I have a baby too she's eight months old but I can't see her or my wife coz if they know when I leave their fair game to these animals....her names husna and my wife's tamreen we've been married like nearing two years.Jane I know what tyrese did to you I swear I wanted to avenge for you but I had to think of consequences I mean what good would it have been if I were dead?I love you sis please be strong insha Allah "I absorbed the information and nodded.He told me to lie down and I put halal next to me and let her feed "I'll bring a doctor insha Allah" he left after a while and I slept.