Anxiety

Pov.Asteria

I stormed out of the cave. Anyone who would get in my way this instant would suffer my rage.

"A!" Emily screamed, following me.

"Not right now, Em," I snapped, half grumbled. She took a step back.

I contemplated for a second if I should apologize, but that could wait.

"This is a complete and absolute, Disaster!" I screamed at Cahya.

"A, breathe," she said.

"Don't tell me to breathe. I can't breath," I snapped. "I'm supposed to breathe the same way he helped me? With that stupid, dumb, crazy, sexy, and hot voice."

"Mmh," Cahya murmured smoothly.

"Shut up," I mumbled, feeling my cheeks getting hot.

I threw a rock at the lake in front of me. "What the hell is wrong with us?"

"Hey, don't include me in that. I have no problem with Erebus being our mate," she answers my question, but she sounded indignant.

"What do you mean you don't have a 'problem with Erebus being our mate'?" I snapped.

"Yep," she popped her lip.

I got closer to the lake and made eye contact with myself. One of my eyes was gold, and the other was black.

"That is T.R.E.A.C.H.E.R.Y, treachery," I spelled out.

"Oh, stop it! We are the next in line to the throne. We are the future. There is nothing they can do," she explained, scanning her nails.

"You are so cocky!" I snapped.

I started walking back and forth along the lake.

My hands were flashing, but I didn't focus on that. My anxiety, having an overload. I was scratching my wrist, burning myself.

I could hear Cahya trying to get my attention, but I decided to ignore her.

Nothing of this is alright. Emily was the one that was supposed to find her mate, not me. Where can Emily's mate possibly be? A vampire is a no, so neither is a dark being. Of the only being, I can think. No, it can't be. Even if her mate was one of them, why now? They haven't been in plain sight in thousands of years.

Is that what Cahya meant? I ripped my hoodie off my body, my pants following. I jumped into the cold water letting myself sink. In the water, I'm able to think peacefully. I closed my eyes, touching the rocks at the bottom with the tips of my fingers. I sat on top of the sharp rocks. I clawed my hands, not wanting to float up. How could something that from the outside look so harmless but deadly inside?

Am I the one who will have to reject him? I hope he is the one that rejects me.

I know it's selfish, but life is not fair if I had met him before what that monster did to me. I would have jumped into his arms, hugged him, kissed him, and never let go. We would love each other unconditionally, but he deserves better. Everyone does. I let go of the sharp rocks, feeling the blood leave my body, but I didn't flinch. I let out all the air from my lungs, making me float up faster. I could see a shadow above the water, and I knew it was him. I wrapped my arms around my chest. I took a deep breath in letting the fresh air fill my lungs.

We made eye contact the second my hand stuck out into the surface. I swam slowly closer to where my clothes were. My sword was under it. I was so stupid to go under the water without my sword. What if he decides to attack me the second I touch land. I tried to cover my lingerie as best as possible.

I could hear him chuckle, but I wouldn't give him the satisfaction that it affected me. I quickly threw my hoodie on and pulled my pants up. I threw my heels on and swung my sword to slam it into the hostler. I tried to squish all the water off my hair.

I could feel the blood dripping down my hands, but I didn't even look down. I could feel them already healing.

"What the fuck happened?" He asked, getting closer to me. I stretched my hand out, signaling him to stop. He stared at my hands, looking at them slowly heal.

"Do I have to tell you again that I can do wherever the fuck I want?" I asked.

"Do I have to tell you again that you are my mate?" He chuckled.

He grabbed my hand and snapped me closer to him. He scanned my hands and wrists. He kissed my wrists slowly, making me shudder and slightly moan.

What the fuck was he doing? I was about to pull my wrist out of his hands when he started sucking the recently healed cuts, making me weak on my knees.

I shook my head, snapping my wrist out of his hands. I raised my other hand and slapped him. He was about to mark me without my permission. I knew it wasn't a temporary mark, but it would keep me attached to him for a while until I begged him to mark me.

I would have acted like a bitch in heat.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I asked.

He rubbed his cheek, looking back at me, I could see the fury in his eyes, but I didn't dare make eye contact. "Did you think I would mark you without your permission?"

"What were you doing then?" I asked, looking down in shame.

"I was trying to be a good mate," he explained.

"Well, don't, the Gods made a mistake by making us mate," I snapped, turning around.

"How could you say that?" He asked. He, sounding almost hurt?

"When you find out who I truly am, you are not going to want me either," I explained, walking away back to Emily.

I needed to apologize to her. Once I stepped out of the trees, Emily ran into my arms.

"Hey, what's wrong? I asked. "How long was I gone?"

"For almost two hours," she sobbed.

"I promised not to leave until you find your mate, and I'm planning to keep that promise," I said, kissing her forehead.

I walked away.

I was hungry. I hadn't eaten anything in almost a week.