Chapter 18: Out Of Sadness!

The next day, I just take my leave one day. Well, after I heard about Simon yesterday...I didn't feel like going to work on that day. I just want to be alone and I try to move on of my heart.

That morning, I woke up as usual but was still lying down. Suddenly, my sister knocks on my door.

"Jessa? Did you wake up? Why you don't go to work?'' Victoria asks from the outside. She still knocks on the door when she still didn't reply her yet.

After she continually knocks on the door, I had to open my door. I slowly moved towards the door and opened it. I saw my sister frown on her face.

I casually said, "I'm not going to work today. I just want to rest for a while today."

"Are you okay? Did you feel sick?"

"I'm okay, sister." I going back to laying on my bed.

"Wait! Why did your eyes look like that? Did you cry all night? What actually happened? Did something bad happen?" Victoria asks with worried.

"No... I'm just fine. I just feel lazy today."

"I think you hiding something from me. Jessa, just tell me."

"Sister, I know you care about me... but, right now I don't want to talk about it. Can I tell you later?" I show her my gloomy face.

"Umm... okay. I don't want to force you. But, you must promise to tell me when you feel ready to talk about it okay?" She rubs her hair gently. I just nod my head and give her a genuine smile.

"Jessa, whatever happens, or whatever it is, believe me... I'm here for you. I don't want you to push yourself to hold it for a long time."

"I know, sister. Thank you for always be my side." We just hug tightly there.

"Alright, I need to go to work first. I will be late."

"Are you going to work? Did your wound in good? Can you walk?"

"Don't worry, I feel better now. My wound getting well. I had to start work today because I have a pending case to settle it."

"Oh, I see. Okay, see you later. Take care on your way. "

"Okay, you don't stay in this room for a long time. Just go out to take fresh air outside there. And don't forget to eat on time. If not, your gastric will come."

So, here she starts her nagging like our mother. But, anyway I feel lucky also because I have my sister to look over me here when my parents far away from me.

"Okay, sister! I get it." I just grin my smile to hear her nagging about me.

After she left...I was alone in my room. I actually want to go to my favorite place today, which is on the beach. I feel that I want to go there for the last time. I need to let go of all our memories and after that...I will not in heartache anymore.

Then, after a few minutes, I was getting ready to get out and go to the beach there. I just take the grab car going to the beach there. The journey to get there takes several hours.

After three hours and thirty minutes later, I arrived at the beach. I feel peaceful when I get there. It feels like a long time I didn't come here. The place looks the same as before and just has a little upgrade at a certain part.

I walked towards the waterfront and stood there. I can feel the wind of the breeze there. It makes me feel peaceful and make my mind at ease. I slowly close my eyes and in a trice, I remember the memories with Simon here.

I wish I don't want to open my eyes and hope this will be real, but...I know...it only in my imagination. For a while, I suddenly remember our letter that we put in the small bottle. I quickly go there under the tree.

When I reached under the tree, I start dug the ground. After a few minutes, I still can't even see the bottles. I kept digging the ground until I found it. But, unfortunately, the bottle wasn't in there.

I wondering at myself there. Did someone take it? Or did Simon take it? But it impossible. I guess...it was gone. I thought I will know what will be in his letter, but maybe it was fate that I will never know about his true feeling and we were not in destiny.

I just sat pensively under the tree and cry with my heart. Then, unexpectedly, it was rain and I'm looking for a place to shelter myself. Luckily, after that, I found the one. I quickly go there and had to wait for the rain to stop.

I standing there alone and all of sudden, there were three men coming there. I feel a little weird and I feel afraid. I suddenly thought that they look like want to do something to me. They were looking at me with a strange look. Sometimes, their eyes were straightly scanning on me.

I was scared at that time and want to run out of there. Then, suddenly one of the men asks me. ''Hey, girl...are you alone?'' He said with his perverted voice. The other two just laugh. Then they slowly coming closer toward me.

I didn't answer them and my heart was beating faster because I really feel scared. When I want to run out from there, one of the men pulls out my hand roughly. But, swiftly, Emmanuel appeared.

''Excuse me, please let go of my wife's hand.'' He said with his deep voice. I was surprised to hear that. I was happy to see him there.

The men also were surprised and quickly let go of my hand. ''Sorry, sorry sir...we didn't know it. We actually just want to help her if she lost her way.'' They try to pretend they weren't wrong.

I quickly run to him and I hold his hand tightly. I was really scared that time and at the same time, I feel grateful to have him there to help me. He just glares angrily at them and brings me out of there.

After a few minutes, we arrived at his car. He asks me to go inside the car quickly. I just follow and listen to him only. After all, it was heavy rain.

He just stays silent and gives me his small towel. His face looks like he mad at me. I want to ask him many questions but my mouth was in lock tightly.

"Umm... how can you be here?" I look at him and waiting for his answer.

"Why you come here alone? What If anything happens to you before?" He looks intensely at me and asks me back rather than answer my question.

I'm speechless. "Huh? Actually, I want to go back early, but it suddenly rains."

"But why you come here alone? Why don't just take someone to go here with you? It dangerous for a girl to walk alone here."

I just keep silent and listen to him. Why I feel like the way he scolds me seems familiar to me. Then I replied with a trembling voice. "I... I didn't know this will happen."

"That's why you need to be careful. Don't just go anywhere without someone with."

"But before I always come here alone..."

"Did you know what time it is now? It's not early anymore, it almost dark." He still in a state too mad at me.

I feel like I want to cry but I hold it. I don't want him to say to me like a child to always shed tears infront of him. I don't know why but I was upset because he scolds me rather than comfort me from what happens before.

Did he didn't concern how actually my feelings? I was really scared about that.

"Why are you mad at me? Did you know I was really scared too? Do you think I want that to happen? Did you know my heart wants to fall out because I was scared! I scared there gonna something bad to happen to me. I can't even imagine if they will do something to me. I'm totally scared too you know!" I was shouted mad at him. I want him knows how real I feel about that.

Then, he slowly pulls me closer to his arms. He hugs me softly.

"Okay, I'm sorry... I didn't mean to scold you... I just... afraid if something bad happens to you. I'm really worried about you."

I bemused about his saying, I don't know how I want to react about it, but... in fact, I feel warm inside his arms. I hug him tightly too. I don't even understand my feelings but right now... I feel safe with him beside me.

We just stay in the car for a while because we want to wait for the rain to stop. We suddenly feel awkward between us because we didn't know how to start our conversations.

Then, he said "Emm...we leave when the rain stops okay? The rain too heavy."

"Oh, okay... I'm fine with that."

"Are you cold?"

"Umm, a little... "

"Here, cover yourself with my sweater."

"Thank you... " I take his sweater and wear it. I still can smell his scent. These scents really make me thought about Simon again. Without realizing it, my tears fell.

"Jessa, are you okay? Did you feel any hurt?"

"No, no... I'm okay. It just I feel too cold and it makes my eyes teary.."

"Oh, I will make the aircond in the low volume.''

"Emmanuel, can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead..."

"Did... you always use this fragrant of perfumes?"

"Yes, I have used this perfume for a long time. It's my favorite perfume." He said casually.

"Oh... I see... " In my thought, he really has the same preferences with Simon.

"Why are you asking? You don't like the smell of this perfume?''

"No! I like it so much! I mean... this scents not too bad."

"Err, how can you be here? You didn't go to the office today? " I ask him to try to cover myself from that.

"Oh, actually... I have a meeting with someone near here. Then, they told me that has a beautiful beach near here."

"Oh... I see... " I have a little suspicious about it.

"And you? What are you doing here actually? So that why you take a leave for today?" He gazes at her.

"Err... I just... want to take fresh air here. After all, this is my favorite place."

"Yeah, I know it."

"You know??"

"I mean, this beach so beautiful, so it makes sense if you say this is your favorite place."

"Oh..."

"Jessa..." Suddenly he calls my name gently. I was feeling anxious after hearing that.

"Did you already thought about my question before?"

"What is that?"

"So you forget about it?"

"Huh?"

"I want to pursue you! And I want you with my side forever. "

My heart was beating faster after hearing that. He still keeps confessing his feeling to me. I didn't know he will be straightforward in time like this.

"Listen, I'm trying to move on about Simon... and I didn't decide yet to in a relationship so soon."

"So that means you still want in the future?"

I just frown my both eyebrows. "You? I mean, I don't want to be in someone yet for the time being and maybe for the rest of my life."

"Okay, how about we do like this. You just let me pursue you within this time and I know you still can't move on from Simon... but... I will promise you that I will make you fall in love with me again."

"Fall in love with you again??"

"I mean, to fall in love again with the person again which is me." He quickly makes his right words.

"But I can't guarantee how long my heart will take. That will make you a long waiting."

"It's okay, I will waiting for you as long you can accept me and until you fall in love with me."

"Don't you think it will wasting your time?"

"Nope! I think it will make me more to love you. Besides that, I believe one day you will become mine."

I was just speechless to hear his words. He really didn't give up even I said all of that with my excuses.

"But I... "

"Okay, set! No more talking. So, started from today, I will take more advantage of you and you should be ready with it." He said frankly then give a sweet wink to me. I just glare at him.

"Let's go! The rain stopped. We can leave now." He said while grinning a smile. He really looks happy at that time.

Sometimes, I secretly look at him while he driving. Actually, I admit that I was in joy too at that time. . .I don't know why but. . . he always makes me feel warm beside him and I can't resist him whenever I see him.

I still wonder and confuse about my feeling for him but I hope after this, I will find my real feelings toward him.