If You Didn't Know, I've Already Killed For Love Once Before

Confession time: I have absolutely no idea as to what I'm doing.

Kassian is going to kill me. The moment he sees me, I'm dead. Not long ago, I wouldn't have hesitated to save myself, even if it meant someone else's death. I still would—if it were anyone except for Kassian.

I hate him.

But I love him more.

He needs to know the truth. Even if he kills me for it. He needs to know who murdered his parents. It wasn't Zervas, and it wasn't Kastien. It wasn't even Vasco, but he must be involved somehow. I don't quite have the whole of it figured out.

But I know enough.

I leap from the carriage once we reach the palace again. I curse the skirts that impede my speed. If I had just worn pants today—but I hadn't thought I'd be running anywhere. I just remember what Kassian did the last time I wore skirts …

The sun has long since set; the palace is as quiet as a tomb. Guards stand watch at every opening into the palace, but I suspect they haven't been told of my treachery yet. None prevented me from entering, and fortunately I don't spot the three who delivered me to the library to await the king's judgement.

I'm panting by the time I reach the corridor—our corridor.

"Is the king in his room?" I ask the guards on watch.

"No, Lady Kensington. He hasn't turned in for bed yet."

My voice turns into a growl. "Where is he?"

"We're not assigned to his personal guard. I couldn't tell you."

"The king's life is in danger. I need to know where he is now!" But yelling doesn't help. It doesn't suddenly give them the answers I want.

I turn, flying back down the stairs. When I hear the guards follow, I shout back, "No, stay put in case he does turn in. Do not leave your posts."

Where would he be this late at night? If he doesn't have any meetings, where would he go?

He was in the library the last time I saw him, so I make my way there instead. But on a hunch, I change course halfway there, making for the queen's sitting room instead.

His mother's day use room.

I curse myself for my foolishness when I don't spot any guards outside the doors. But then, what if Kassian ditched his Guards? I plunge into the room at full speed, the door slamming into the wall behind it. A pair of arms catches me before I go sprawling on the ground.

"Loralie?"

I push myself out of Kallias's arms, still fearful of the way he treated me when last we saw each other. "You're alive!"

He gives me a look like I've gone mad. "Yes."

"Where is your guard?" I get the words out around heaving breaths.

"I gave them the night off. With all the threats against me dealt with—including you, I might add—I thought I'd have some time without them. Never mind that, what are you doing back here? I—"

"You're alone?" I say over the top of him.

"No, I'm here, too."

Kastien steps out of the alcove he'd been standing in.

"We were catching up. What are you doing here?" I spin to Kallias. "You need to run. Now. Go to your guards. Wherever the nearest ones are."

"Why? Are you going to try to kill me again?" he asks with bitter sarcasm.

"I've never tried to kill you, and I'm not the one who poses a threat to your life. He is!" I point to Kastien, whose eyes widen at the accusation.

"What?" Kassian asks. "Kastien didn't help his uncle. He protected me from him when Ikaros tried to approach me after I'd swallowed the poison."

"He didn't protect you," I say as realization dawns on me.

"He used the opportunity to touch you. Have you been able to use your shadows since entering this room?"

"I haven't tried, and they're not about to work with you here. Now get out!" Kassian grabs my arm, trying to drag me away.

"He isn't who he says he is. Lord Vasco has no nephew!"

Kassian grip loosens at the words, and I tug my arm free.

"What are you talking about?" he asks.

"I have the same question," Kastien says, and his voice is much closer now.

Without thinking, I shove myself between the two men, using my body as a shield for Kassian. Even as I spot the sword hanging from Leandros's hips, I don't lose my footing.

"Look at him, Kassian. Look at him closely. You know him."

"Yes," his voice comes from behind me. "He's my best friend. Or was, until I—"

"No, you know him from before that. He looked a little different then, with hair as black as yours, a nose that wasn't broken. The mind sees what it wants to see when it can't make sense of anything else. Your brother died, so how could he return disguised as someone else?"

And then Kastien—Fernasto—narrows his eyes at me.

"What happened to you?" I ask. "You were beaten; that much is obvious. But why fake your death? Why come back and kill your parents and try to kill your brother? It doesn't make sense."

Fernasto looks over my head to Kallias. "I think she's feeling guilty. She kissed me this evening, you know. After you sent her away."

"Stop it!" I shout, feeling shame and anger all at once. But I don't dare look at Kallias. I can't take my eyes from Fernasto, from the threat. "I was hurt," I say by way of explanation. "That doesn't excuse it, but it did reveal to me your treachery."

I hold my hand above my head, so the stain is pointed toward Kassian. "Hair dye. It came off on my hands. He caught up to me right after using it. I suspected he wanted to see me off. Make sure he could really get you alone for once, without anyone witnessing him murdering you."

The room goes silent.

"No," Kassian says at last. "No, he can't be Fernasto. I loved my brother, but he was taunting. Cruel. Kastien has been nothing but—"

"An actor," I finished. "An assassin in disguise." Again, silence. It stretches for so long, I think I might turn around just from the pain of not being able to read Kassian's face.

And then the heat at my back retreats as Kassian steps backward. "It is you."

Fernasto looks heavenward. "Great, Loralie. Well done." He draws his sword. "I've been working on this for four long years, and then you have to go and ruin it."

"You're the one who ruined it," I point out, showing him the brown mark.

"I thought to take one last thing from my brother. He had everything that should have been mine. The kingdom. The empire. The shadows. The only thing that was truly his was you, and I wanted to take that, too."

I step back when I feel Kassian's hand come down on my shoulder, tugging me toward him.

"The assassin in the gardens," I say. "He was there on your orders." I'd seen Kastien right before Kassian showed up. I can't believe I didn't make the connection sooner.

"He'd been serving as a manservant for a week," Fernasto says. "We were just waiting for the right moment. When there weren't guards around. When Kallias would let his shadows down."

"And the letter?" I ask. "The gentleman's club?"

Fernasto shakes his head. "No, that was Vasco's doing. I would never agree to such a stupid and convoluted plan. He's lucky he saw through Kassian's disguise. Lucky he wasn't seen at the club."

A lead weight sinks low in my chest. "I left you on the dais with him at the ball. I told you to look over him!"

"And he would have died if Damien hadn't seen me touch him. He thought it was an accident, but he ordered me away so Kassian could heal."

"Fernasto," Kassian says finally, as though he still can't quite believe it, as though he didn't hear any of the conversation we just had. "What happened to you? Why didn't you tell me it was you? I would have—"

"You would have what?" Fernasto snaps. "Stepped down from being king? Given the title over willingly and happily? You and I both know you wouldn't have. Not after you'd had a taste of the power. Besides, I couldn't reveal myself until Mother and Father were dead. Until you were dead, so no one could stand with you to contest my claim to the throne."

"Oh," I say, as realisation dawns. "You didn't have the ability. The shadows. Your father didn't want you to become king. You embarrassed him, didn't you?"

Fernasto raises his sword so the point presses against my throat. "I would stay silent if I were you."

"Leave her out of this," Kassian says, tugging me out of reach of the sword. He places his body between me and his older brother. "I don't understand. Father ordered you beaten?"

Fernasto's nostrils flare as his face hardens. "He beat me himself. To death, almost. That was surely his intention. He left me by the side of the road, near a carriage he had his men tip over, to make it look like an accident. And then he left, not a shred of guilt to be found."

"That's when Vasco found you," I say.

"When he found out what my father did, he pledged his loyalty to me. The true king. He took care of me. Helped me disguise myself, vowed to help me take back my throne. We hired those men to enter the palace, put the whole place on lockdown. I killed Father before he even knew what was happening. It was much too quick. He should have been beaten first, as I was. But I knew I didn't have much time."

Kassian's breathing has hastened. "And Mother?" he asks, his voice breaking at the end.

"I couldn't be sure she wasn't in on it. It was harder to kill her, but I knew I had to. She was already beginning to suspect who I was."

But that was too much. Kassian launches himself at Fernasto, dodging the sword and tackling him to the ground.

The sword goes flying off to the side, and I run to retrieve it. Then I stand back, watching the two men.

Kassian has the fight in hand.

He's landed atop Fernasto. Straddling him, he unleashes his fists on the fallen man. "She. Was. My. Mother." He punctuates each word with a slam of his knuckles.

Fernasto surges upward, slamming his forehead into Kallias's nose. He shoves him to the side, freeing himself from his younger brother's clutches.

And then he kicks him. Kassian goes down.

"Don't think you were the only one who loved her," Fernasto says. He pulls at his cufflinks almost without noticing, and I remember that he liked to wear ones shaped like roses. Their mother's favorite flower. "It nearly killed me to end her, too. But you? You I will enjoy killing."

Kassian rolls away and manages to find his feet, but a steady drip of blood comes from his nose.

They tangle together again. Dodging and throwing fists. I can't do anything but watch. What if I slash the wrong man with the sword? Should I run for the guards?

Not if I want to risk Fernasto winning the fight.

"How have you enjoyed my birthright, Kassian? Did you like ruling behind the council? Did you enjoy the king's suite? Sitting at the head of the dinner table?"

"I did," Kallias says. "I never would have given it up. Not for a powerless, pathetic, matricidal whelp like you."

Fernasto screams as he flings himself at Kassian. They roll over each other on the floor, until he comes up on top this time.

Kassian takes a fist to his lips, to his left eye, to his throat.

Fernasto will kill him, I'm sure of it.

I step forward with the sword, place it under his throat. "Off. Now."

He ignores me, tries to slap the sword away with his fingers, so I let the edge dig into his skin, drawing a line of blood.

That gets his attention. He rises at my next insistence and backs away, retreating until his back hits a wall.

"Let me go, Loralie!" he shrieks.

"No."

"He sent you away! He said he'd kill you if you returned." Had he been listening in on our last conversation? "Why would you defend him?"

I shrug. "Just feel like it, really." I'm hardly about to profess my love yet again where Kassian can hear it.

"He doesn't want you. Saving him won't change that. Move away. Now."

"I won't."

"If you want to stop me, you'll have to kill me. I think we both know you don't have it in you." When he tries to move, I let the tip of the sword break his skin, sliding in until it hits the wall.

Fernasto's eyes widen in surprise, as a choking noise comes out of his throat. Where blood oozes from his airway.

"You didn't really know me," I say. "If you had, you'd know I've already killed for love once before."

And then he slumps forward, tacked to the wall like some macabre tapestry. Dead.

I turn to Kassian, find him watching me from the floor, his eyes going in and out of focus.

Then I run for the guards.