Ocean Full of Tears

The waves crashed on the shore, the sound soothing to my ears as Sebastian and I ate in silence. It was comfortable with someone I've only met once, but I enjoyed it, he made me feel safe in an odd way. I glanced over at him, and he smiled, a small dimple formed on his cheek under his scruff. His electric blue eyes met my hazel ones, leaning back onto the blanket he looked back out at the sail boats. "So Judith, what brings you out here at such a weird time." Breaking the silence he grabs another fry from the bag, bringing my legs closer to my chest I sighed softly. I hadn't wanted to speak about the last week to anyone, but I didn't know this man, and I didn't care what he would think of me after I explained why I was here.

"Well.." I breathed out softly, "Last week seemed like I was on cloud nine, everything finally seemed to be falling into place. My freelancing art gig was getting better, my boyfriend had a ring box in the closet that I for sure thought was mine, and we finally were home owners." I looked over at Sebastian, his focus solely on me now as he turned slightly. "And then it's like everything happened at once--" My voice cracked slightly, fumbling over my words I cleared my throat slightly before continuing. "It felt like any other Tuesday afternoon, Chris came home from work early. He was shocked when he saw me in the kitchen making his favorite, taco bake. He had flowers in his hand, and seemed to be fumbling over his words which he never did." I began to fidget slightly, messing with my fingers as I brought my knees closer to my chest. "I was questioning why he was home two hours early, he got slightly aggravated and walked upstairs to shower.."A solemn tear fell down my cheek; my body looked calm compared to how tangled my mind was in this moment.

I felt a hand on my own, looking over Sebastian was now facing me. He placed a reassuring hand on my back and slowly started to move it up and down; something my mother used to do to me as a child that helped immensely when I was upset. His eyes encouraged me to speak again as he continued to slowly rub my back I cleared my throat once more. "As I was placing the taco bake in the oven the doorbell rang. I still had my apron on, my hair in a ponytail. I opened it to a tall blonde.. Confusion was all over her face when I answered the door, she asked who I was and if Chris was available. I, of course invited her inside and had her sit at the dining room table." My breathing was slightly heavier as I tried to fight the pooling tears in my eyes, I sniffled slightly before beginning to speak again. "Chris came down stairs and froze when he saw me across the way from her.. I looked at him with such hurt in my eyes all he could do was ask Hannah to wait on the porch, as soon as the door shut I asked him how long. He couldn't answer me, I smacked him." I chuckled slightly at the memory of his face, shocked as my small hand collided with his face. "He told me he had fallen out of love with me months ago and they had been seeing each other for the last month behind my back." My fist clenched tightly at the thought. "He brought another fucking woman into my home, and slept with her in my bed without her knowing... He lied to her about all the decor and photos of us saying I had died a few years ago. Once this girl found out who I was she didn't leave him for lying at all. She forgave him and now she's probably fucking sleeping in my bed and in the kitchen I designed." I puffed out a bit of air before relaxing my hands, crescent shaped marked now on the palm of my hand.

There wasn't much said in the moments after I had been done explaining things, Sebastian kept slowly rubbing my back as I calmed down. I opened my mouth several times to speak but nothing would come out other than a small sob. The tears that had been pooling in my eyes ran down my cheeks rapidly, it was like the dam exploded and I couldn't get it to stop. Wiping my cheeks for what felt like the millionth time I look over and smile slightly. "To finish off the story, that is why I'm here.. This place my father used to bring me to all the time as a kid." I chuckled slightly at the memories that were on this beach with my family. "My brother and I used to bury him in the sand over there. And over there is where I learned how to fly a kite, and right over there is where my parents told us that my Dad had cancer and that there was nothing the doctors could do about it." Trailing off I cross my arms over my chest. Sebastian finally spoke up, a small 'I'm sorry' left his lips, a frown now adorn on his face. I shake my head, a small smile on my face. "Sheesh I'm sorry I just dampened the mood." He shrugged his shoulders before his hand fell from my back. "I'm here because I was just exploring, and I'm definitely glad I decided to as well. It seems like you needed someone to just listen for a little bit." His words hit my heart, warming me a bit. A total stranger just listen to me the past twenty minutes complain about my life and didn't say one word as I was weeping. "Thank you Sebastian. I really appreciate it, I'm sure you want to run as far away from here as you can." I laugh slightly as I put my chin on my knees, closing my eyes I breathe in the salty air, the heaviness I was feeling slightly subsided.

"Well, not completely. I remember a few years ago something like what happened to you, happened to me too." He leaned back on his hands as he started talking. "Except it was with my brother, now they have a baby on the way and plan to get married next month." My mouth gaped open when he finished his statement, I couldn't imagine my brother even doing anything like that to me. "I am so sorry, that is way worse than mine ever will be Sebastian." His eyes met my own again, a small smile on his face as he shrugs not a care in the world. "Call me Seb, and trust me, I'm over it. Thats also another reason I moved. I had been living in the same apartment that her and I had for the last two years and I needed a fresh start. A new beginning." He breathed out loudly, the sailboats from earlier now heading to the dock as the sun was dipping lower into the horizon. "I get that completely, sometimes you need to just start over." Leaning on my hand I look back over at him. "What'd you do in the city?" Hoping it wasn't to personal of a question, I lean in anticipating his answer. "I was a lawyer." He said frankly. Giving him a quizzical look he smiles "Was meaning I stopped being one." he added. I must have looked like I had seen a ghost because a boisterous laugh left his chest. "Why would you do that?! After going through college and taking the BAR exam, you just threw away your whole life." He sighed at my statement and shook his head. "No my father always wanted me to be one. So I went to college and became one because I did anything he asked me to. The last few months I grew this loathing for it, even more than I did when I started the job. I remember this case I had just last week before I packed up and left.. He was a rapist and he didn't want to plead guilty despite him being guilty. My skin crawled, I felt disgusted.. That's when I knew I needed out. I just want a simple life, maybe I could start my own store or something, be a small business owner. Thats something I always wanted to do when I was younger." I nodded along to his story, it was touching that he wanted something better than what he did with his life. He didn't feel right and instantly knew he deserved better. I hope I can learn that from him. "Well you've came to the right place, I'm sure anyone would love to help you kick start a business. My brother is great with that kind of stuff maybe I could give you his contact information." His eyes lit up at my statement, he nodded before looking back out at our view.

The sun now set the stars were brighter than they had been for a long time in the sky. Standing to my feet I stretched my arms up before letting my hands fall to my sides. Sebastian stood up next to me, grabbing the blanket and the trash off the sand he sent me a smile. "Again thank you Seb for listening to my sob story. I can drive you home since it's probably pretty late." Slipping my Converse back onto my feet I began my walk back to my old Ford, jogging to catch up to me he threw the blanket over his shoulder. "If you don't mind, just because it is pretty dark now." He threw the trash in the trashcan at the entrance of the secret spot. I laughed softly as I unlocked the truck, hopping in on the drivers side I leaned over to pop the lock open on the passenger side. Getting in he glanced sideways at me as he did his seatbelt. "Whats so funny huh?" Cocking his head to the side I couldn't help but laugh again as I brought the truck to life, putting it in reverse I begin to speak. "It just seemed like you're a bit afraid of the dark Mr.." Trailing off I don't even know this guys last name, interjecting my thoughts he says "Carter." Clicking my turn signal down to go right I look over at him, my eyebrow slightly arched. "Sebastian Carter huh?" He shrugs his shoulders slightly laughing. "Hey I didn't pick my name, my parents did. And by the way, I am not afraid of the dark I just don't know where the hell I am ma'am." Chuckling to myself I turn onto Main Street, heading to the only apartment complex in town. "Just kidding, on a serious note, thank you for listening. I don't have very many friends, they stopped talking to me when things got serious with Chris a few years back." Pulling into the parking lot he sends me a small smile before hopping out of the truck, his muscular frame from behind looked even better than the front view.

He shut the door and folded his hands over one another as he leaned into the open window. "As much as I enjoyed my evening Ms. Judith, I must bid thee far well. See you later." I laughed slightly before sending him a small wave. Making sure he made it inside, I turned forward, biting my lip slightly as I smiled I couldn't help the euphoric feeling in my chest with the short amount of time I've spent with this man. Putting the truck in drive once more, the drive home was relatively quick, the radio soft and playing popular country tunes. Opening the garage door to pull in, the lights in the dining room shone through the small window out front. Walking inside my mother was sitting at the kitchen table, a small cup of coffee next to her as she was reading this mornings newspaper. "Hey Ma." I set my truck keys on the counter as I slipped the shoes off my feet. Her eyes travelled upward to meet mine, "Judy it's ten o'clock at night where the hell were you." Sitting down as she finishes her statement, I let out a little sigh before taking an Oreo cooking out of the packaging. "I was just at the beach Mom relax." She folded the paper haphazardly, a stern look on her face, I sent her a small smile, the frustration melted into a look of worry. Grabbing my hand she gave it a squeeze. "I just worry Judy.. I just don't want you hurt." I shouldn't be laughing but I did slightly, if she knew I was out with a man this late she would certainly be angry with me. Especially since I'm supposed to be focusing on myself at the moment. However it wasn't like Sebastian and I went on a date, we simply were keeping each other company for a few hours as friends. Getting to know the other. I sent her a smile and squeezed her hand back as I stood to head to my room. "I know mom. But I promise I only went to clear my head and it worked." What I left out was that the man from the grocery store just so happened to be there with me and that I cried to him about my whole situation. For right now that was something I needed to just leave out of the conversation. Walking into my room I flopped on my bed, the exhaustion from the day enveloped me and I fell asleep quickly.