Chapter 2 - "Richie Trashmouth Tozier is very much...us

-- THIS CHAPTER IS EMOTIONAL--

Emotions are running high in the Losers Club. A huge secret is revealed at the funeral.

_______________________________________________

3rd june, 2016

Richie woke up to gentle knocks on his door. He slowly got out of bed to open the door. He had tossed and turned the entire night due to Restless sleep and reliving Eddie's death over and over again. His unsatisfying sleep was evident, his hair was stuck up in various random directions and his eyes were also slightly swollen.

All the other losers were standing outside the door. What was strange that they were all dressed in black clothes. Richie was still a little incoherent and he was rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

" Hey guys. What are you all doing here so early? "Richie mumbled out while yawning a little.

"It's 10 in the morning Richie. Last night we thought t-that we can have a f-f-funeral for a E-e-d-die and S-st-an in the lobby. " Bill Studdard out. It was strange for him to start stuttering again. After years of not having a stutter, it had raised unwanted memories. Richie sucked in a sharp inhale through his teeth. Funeral made it even more real and unable to avoid.

" We thought that we can wish them a proper goodbye before we leave. After all this is where we all met. It won't be too much, just the five of us and we will do it in the lobby. "Mike said while trying to hold a steady voice.

" Umm yeah sure. Just give me some time to get dressed I will be down there soon." Richie spoke in a low voice. The other is not a slightly and started heading towards the staircase. Richie shut the door after they left, And let out of shaky breath as he sat down on the bed. You know he will have to man up and say goodbye.

He walk towards his suitcase and pulled out a black shirt and jeans. He never thought that the pair of clothes that he just randomly thrown in his suitcase, he would have to wear them at a funeral of his two best friends. He slowly pulled out his clothes, zipped up his suitcase and grabbed his phone and keys to his car and the room. It's still Derry people here do Steal.

He walk down the stairs to see all the other sitting on the couches near the back. He sat down between Bev and Mike. Bev gently put her hand on his shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze. When Richie came and sat down everything was silent for some time and then slowly Bill got up.

He stood in the middle of the room, in front of all of them. Bill did not want to stutter while talking about his friends, but he knew it was inevitable. He wiped his sweaty Palms on his jeans and took a deep breath in before he spoke.

"I had known E-e-ddie longest out of all of us. We always h-hung out with each other at the Barrens It was a safe place to us, to all of us. I remember knowing him because we w-were in the same class, as usual Henry was p-po-oking fun at Eddie who was quietly sitting near the playground all alone and getting out of his lunch box. And he was doing a good job at ignoring Bowers till he knocked his lunch off his lap and started calling him horrible names. He has started crying while looking at his lunch and I became f-fr-riends with him "

Bill took a much-needed pause as he tried to collect himself try to minimize his stuttering and continued.

"He was so loving and careful. His need of carrying his fanny packs saved me so many times. Stan wasn't much known to me until Richie introduced him to us. After that we always hang out together it didn't matter that Bowers and his crew poked at us. When we were together it barely felt much we were all each other strength and I know that we still are. "

Bill couldn't control his cheers much after that. His shoulders shook as he sobbed. His words had already gone shaky at the end. He sat down in the chair near the others and cried. Tears were streaming down Bev's face. She sobbed lightly into her hands. Tears were running down freely from the four men.

After a little while both Mike and Ben spoke about how they had met the others and how they were never poked fun at them for their body or their skin. They had rightly said that they will never forget the guys that they had grown and far along with. Both of those idiots would always be remembered. Emotions were running high in the small room that time. Tears were like a steady stream down each of their faces.

Beverly then stood up to speak. She wiped her tears on a handkerchief that Ben had passed along to her. "I don't know what to say. I had known all of you the least. And you already said what needed to be said. It didn't matter that I was only girl in the group or what anyone said about me. None of it mattered and you people were always there for me. The one thing that I know is, that it doesn't matter who isn't here anymore, because one day all of us will be here we always said that 'once a loser, always a loser', but there is no being losers without Eddie and Stan. "

Beverly had tears welling up in her eyes as been slowly got up and took her into his arms. She sobbed on his shoulder. His arms held her close to his chest.

Richie had only one thought going in his head 'I didn't even get to tell him the truth.' No one else knew too. It was getting very emotional and nothing was stopping it from getting even more. Richie didn't want to speak, he knew that the moment he opened his mouth he will cry like a hormonal teenager all over again, but still he got up slowly and walked in the middle of the room. The others followed his slow sluggish movements.

All of them had assumed that he won't be able to speak since he seemed to be hit the hardest by Eddie's death. Still all of them looked up at him tearfully waiting for him to start speaking.

Richie cleared his throat before he started talking " I- fuck- I don't know what the fuck you guys want me to say. I'm going to miss that son of a bitch, well both of them especially Mrs.K I cannot just forget her!"

He barked out a small laugh while the others smiled at hus usual antics.

" I loves teasing Eddie Spaghetti a lot. For some odd reason i loved infuriating him. I know he hated me calling him 'Ededs' because hia dad used to call him that, but i just wanted to call him that just to see him get mad at me and threw a tantrum. His stupid fanny packs that I always made fun of made him Eddie. I'm sure that without them he wouldn't be himself. I still have no fucking idea how he remembered his long series of pills and infections. Whether he needed them or not, he always had each and every possible medicine. You're right when you say that he always care for us. "

Richie paused and wiped his nose.

"He was always over the top, mother hen kind of conscious. It was his own way of showing that he cared for us. He always believed that he was a coward but I know he was one of the bravest. If he wasn't, then he wouldn't have stepped into the water to save someone's life."

Richie took a deep breath in he didn't know if he should continue talking. He wasn't sure if his friends would be there after he had come clean to them.

" You fuckers always asked me what i was afraid of or what that dumb red nosed ass hole showed me. I pretty much always lied or diverted it but i think I've hit thus point where i guess i should just let all that crap out. The reason why i talk so much might still not make sense...but i...im scared of being forgotten...alone more like. Im scared of nobody liking me. That's why im trash mouthed i guess!" He said with a chuckle.

"And yeah one more thing, ive got to many rrgrets but the biggest one is not telling Eddie, who in fact was my best-est friend better than yall at-least. So guess im gonna just let it OUT! Im gay. And i spent my whole early years hating what i felt, being afraid of what i felt and on top of that Mr.Orange head had to push my buttons. Well then. My biggest fear had always been my 'sexuality' nd losing everything. I realized that hiding shit will just make it worse so yeah....RICHIE 'TRASHMOUTH' TOZIER IS VERY MUCH GAY! Oh, i know you were dying to get on this ride Bevy..." he signalled himself and continued,

"I realized thia while i was fucking Eddie's mom, i was actually thinking of Bill's dad. Love you Mr.Denbrough..." he looked up at the sky with a grin.

"What the fuck man-" Bill looked at Richie with a horrified and disturbed look. His words were being annoyed by Richie who went on....

"If you all say any shit about it, i'll knock your fucking teeth out i swear! i will!" Richie's heart was racing a million miles an hour, he didn't know how they were going to react.

He had dried tear streaks on his face and was rubbing his eyes furiously with the heel of his hand. They all surrounded him in a group hug to show him that it didn't matter and that they were always there for him.

They all saw Richie in a new light. He was covering his insecurities by being loud mouthed and funny. They have all been scared and maybe they still will be, but for now all of it didn't matter. The Losers still had eachother.