Episode 51 - Marriage?

The smell of chocolate, raspberry, and other sugary sweetness wafted out of the bag as Amari headed back to the apartment, making his stomach grumble. Setting it onto the kitchen table, he glared in Ziggy's direction.

"Don't touch. Ne touche pas." He ran his thumb across his throat. "I don't trust you around dessert.

Ziggy chuckled and sipped at his coffee. "I won't touch your precious treats, mon chéri," he said playfully, then pulled the boy over, telling him to sit. "See? It wasn't something to worry about. You're so good with kids. Maybe because they're more on your level, hein?"

"Shut up," Amari grumbled, scratching at the side of his head with a sigh. "I can't believe you knew this whole time and let us both suffer. Do you know how scared he was that night?"

"Oui, I know. I have known Yangyang a long time, tsé? He hides a lot of anxiety under that cheerful smile. It sounds cruel, but it needed to happen. He needed to be strong enough to tell you, and he needed to see a real reaction to know he could trust you. Moi là, as your papa, I want him to be confident about you, hein?"

Amari stared at the man's blurry figure. Most of the time, Ziggy was no wiser than a child, and he certainly had issues managing his own life. But then there were rare moments like this, where he acted like a man his age and seemed like someone who knew something about the world.

"Quoi? What are you staring at?"

With a shake of his head and a sad sigh, Amari turned his gaze away. "I just wish he wasn't so cautious about it. There's nothing wrong with being a single-dad, or a musician. Taitai's amazing. He should be proud of him, not anxious."

Ziggy pat him gently on the knee. "I'm sure he has a lot of reservations. He wasn't even twenty-one yet and all of a sudden, il y a un bébé! It was very scary for him, tsé?"

"That's not what I mean." Holding his hands out, he rested them palms up on the table, staring blankly at where they should be. "It's like he separates the home Yangyang from the work and play Yangyang completely. I know his mother isn't happy with his life choices, but it's too late to change that."

He could feel his cheeks flush, the frustration building just thinking about it. "They're a musical family, and it's beautiful, but they don't even play music together at home. He plays piano better than anyone I've heard, but he doesn't help teach his son. It's like I'm dating two people."

"There is only one Yangyang, hein? He just isn't sure how to handle those different pieces of his life." Ziggy chuckled and then let out a long sigh. "Knowing my Scotty, that double life won't last long anyway. You are too straightforward for such things, and that guy would lay in traffic for you, tsé?"

Amari smiled, taking that as a compliment, and lifted a hand, a sign for his friend to give him some coffee. After a moment, he felt a warm mug in his fingers and took a sip, exhaling with satisfaction.

"You're pretty lucid today, old man. Sorry for skipping out on work lately."

"Like you were very helpful anyway." Ziggy chuckled again, ignoring the "old man" comment. "You're the one who asked to work, tsé? I just wanted a roommate, and to hear you sing."

The man threw his mug in the sink and leaned against the counter. "Now I'm just clinging to you while I can, hein? Someday soon, you'll get married, move away, and leave me all alone. Ah... I am so sad just thinking about it!"

Amari snorted out a laugh. "Yeah, probably not that soon. Let's not rush things."

"Ben là! Not rush?" The man laughed dramatically, then placed a firm hand on Amari's shoulder. "You two met in... September, hein? You started dating in November, if you can even call it that. You barely saw each other in December, broke up the end of January, and just got back together two days ago. In case you forgot, it is now March. You two have spent more time apart than together, tsé?"

After a quick pat on the back, Ziggy let out a sigh. "Yet here you are, wildly in love, trying to impress the kid and worrying about the mother-in-law." His friend leaned over, and though Amari couldn't see it, he knew the man was smirking at him. "If I didn't know you, I would think you were crazy. But, since I do know you, ch'te dis, don't forget me after running off into wedded bliss, hein?"

Amari rolled his eyes, even though he knew his friend was right. He and Yangyang really hadn't been together long, but he had been emotionally invested from the start. If the man's mother wasn't an obstacle, he would live with him in an instant, and he wasn't sure he could turn down a proposal. And if the relationship ended tomorrow or a year from now, it would hurt the same.

It was completely irrational, but for him, there was nothing holding him back. Ziggy was the closest relationship he had, and his friend would throw him out on the street if it was for his happiness. Otherwise, there was nothing else in his life.

In truth, in the back of his mind, he always questioned whether Yangyang loved him the way he said. Maybe it was just lust, the excitement of his first relationship with a man, or maybe he just enjoyed having someone around for comfort and support. They hadn't had enough time to see each other's bad side or fight repeatedly over stupid things. Or really fight at all. Would they feel the same if they were around each other more often? After another six months? A year? He believed he would, but what about Yangyang?

With a loud groan, Amari set his coffee down, feeling a stress headache forming between his temples. It seemed to be a more common cause than light sensitivity these days.

"Thanks, Zig. Now I'm worrying again. I think you pretend to be supportive, but your real goal's to split us up."

"C'est possible. Then mon petit frère wouldn't leave me." Amari groaned again and pushed himself up from the table. "Coudon, Scotty. Before you leave, I want to say something."

The normally sweet voice sounded serious, and he nodded, a little scared of what the man was going to say. Ziggy rarely sounded serious about anything, even when he actually was.

"I know you followed Nicky out earlier to talk to him."

Amari tensed and nervously picked at his pants.

"Don't do that anymore, hein? I know you care about me and want to protect me, but I know what I'm doing. I know what this relationship is, and I'm okay with it, so you need to be okay with it too."

"Zig, that's fucking bullshit. I don't need to be okay with anything." He frowned, some of his earlier anger bubbling back up. "You might be fine being played with like a toy, but that doesn't mean I've gotta like it. That guy treats you like shit. Since you asked, I won't say anything anymore, but that doesn't mean I'll ever be okay with it."

"Not everyone can find their soulmate and have disgustingly beautiful love like you, tsé?" His playful tone was laced with bitterness, and Amari put his hand on Ziggy's shoulder.

"That doesn't mean you've gotta settle for the first shitbag that gives you attention, tsé?" He gave the man a soft pat before heading down to his room. "You deserve better than that," he called out, before shutting his door behind him.