Fear and Hatred

During the night I was dragged away to the pale mans tent again, going past all the drunken soldiers who lay passed out on the ground around a bunch of braziers that had lit. As I was tossed into the tent I was quickly given water and food. Not enough to sate my hunger but enough to keep me living, the bread was relatively fresh. Quickly I ripped into it, nearly choking myself as I ate, throwing water into my mouth then taking another bite. The pale man just looked on at me with contempt, I expected to be tortured again, questioned at least but for the first few minutes whilst I ate he just sat there looking down.

He quickly leaned forward and motioned for the guards to keep a hold of me, his eyes glinted with a deep fire inside of him slowly burning out.

"You know we're from Drelvor... So you must have some idea of what it's like there." he slouched back into his chair, calling for a chair to be brought over for me. I was slowly picked up and tied to it, my hands around the back of the seat, my legs roped to the chairs legs.

"You know don't you?" he asked staring me dead in the eyes, all I could do was nod. I had some understanding of what was happening but not its full complexity. From my time there and from the ideas my household held of the Drelvor, it wasn't something I had much understanding of. What I had been told is that they were a savage race, vermin. They'd cannibalise their own at anytime, and as a child I was taught to be afraid of them or they'd come and eat me. Yet when I went to Drelvor I saw that they had the same eyes, hair, skin as me, but somehow they were the monster.

He began to explain everything about what had truly happened and how most noble families of Drelvor had fled to the northern kingdoms, out of the reach of Holmfeld. Most fled to Branevos whilst others fled to the island kingdom of Helan. During our conversation I could see his contempt for me, yet deep down I felt as if he was in mourning, every now and then his voice would crack slightly, and his eyes would seem to sink the more he spoke of what really had happened. He began explaining how the Royal family of Drelvor wished for a truly peaceful kingdom but were betrayed by a group of assailants. They were only known as The Masked Ones as nobody knew what they truly were.

As time strived forwards he began to reveal the atrocities committed by Holmfeld in full detail, the cleansing of the world that the Emperor had wanted. The ability to rule over the continent under one flag and as one people, the people of Drelvor were subjected to experiments to find a way to stop them from procreating. They were then brutalised and then by the end of it all the Empire found the most effective way was just to be rid of them. Hearing this made my heart sink, I knew what he spoke of, I had seen these and I had done nothing.

Then out of nowhere he burst into tears, the dam inside of him had stored too much of his pain and had broken over the top.

"...They took... everything from us..." his voice trembling as he spoke a constant sense of pure agony echoing deep from within. "...My wife...my chil...everything...", before my very eyes I was witnessing the same pain I had only just began feeling, the pain of loss yet I could tell his pains were far greater than mine. I began to pity the man who held me captive, yet in my mind I felt as if he was trying to excuse what he himself had caused.

"...You...think...that...you're the only...one...with...these pains?" I slowly remarked, my body becoming more tired as the conversation had continued. "...What...about...those...who had...no...part...in that."

He slowly turned his gaze onto me, tears streaming down his face, slowly turning into a face of pure rage. A slow feeling of unease sat within me, my shoulders beginning to feel heavy. What I said was technically correct, but... maybe I shouldn't have said that in my current disposition. Furiously he lunged at my chair, knocking it over and began to throttle me, his hands tightening firmly around my neck. The two guards quickly moved over to grab him off me for some reason, it confused my more than him grabbing trying to kill me, as this happened he continued to scream.

"YOU'RE PEOPLE STARTED THIS! YOU ALL DESERVE THE SAME TREATMENT! YOU ALL DESERVE THIS!" it took a while for the guards to get him restrained back into his chair, and as he sat silently for a few moments I contemplated on what he had said. Truly the kingdom as a whole wasn't to blame, but I realised that the people of Holmfeld meant nothing, their words meant nothing. Even if a lowborn was to apologise for what had happened, it would all be meaningless. Even if I said something, nothing would change, the world would remain the same, it would still be the hell that it is now because no matter how much you can push for change, there'll be those who remain the same and aim to take out those who pushed for the change.

The moment of silence seemed to echo on for hours as we just sat there at an impasse.

"Even if I tried, I cannot forgive you for what you've done to people who had nothing to do with this... Nor will you be able to forgive me our my people for the shit our royals caused." I spoke solemnly, trying to remain calm as I held my eyes on him, he continued to say nothing he looked unfazed by my words but somehow still listening in. "Even if I was to try and change this empire, I wouldn't be able to... Even if I went a joined your cause I'd still be as bad as before... even then my values don't align with yours. You've taken things from me that I could never hope to attain again."

I wanted to put my whole heart out there to possibly reach him, everything I had, anything I could muster, all in the hopes that I can show that I wasn't like them, that I wasn't an evil bastard. The man slowly tilted his head up to me, a small smile on his face, tears beginning to stream down his face again.

"I know, it's impossible for change to happen fully, and yet we all must aim for it. Even if our methods are more radical than others, even if our names are cursed in history. If it's the means to an end, then who's to say we we're wrong." He motioned the guards to take me back to my cage, and as I was moved away I felt as if I understood him a little more, but my mind still resolved on that he would be trouble far more than any sort of help. As I was chained back up in my cell, I thanked the guards for saving me earlier. In the end they just ignored it and went back on with their lives, during this whole time I had wondered where the his brother was. Why hadn't he came to these meetings, why hadn't he came to mock me. I then realised the most likely outcome for those was he wasn't here, then the questions began to fall in one by one, What was he doing? What had he done? and Who had he killed?

The next morning approached as stars fell from their ever gazing spots, and the sun slowly broke over the crest of the mountains. It glinted in a new day for me and a new year, and yet again I was dragged off to meet with the lord who came to deliver the ransom. This time it was different, the pale man accepted the ransom, but only for a select few of us who he picked out personally. He slowly walked down the line and planted a hand on the survivors who would be payed for, and then he came to me. As he stared down at me I could feel an intense pressure like I had never felt before, and yet he planted his hand on my shoulder and I was quickly dragged off into the back of a wagon and was unshackled.

Slowly the wagon was dragged off into the distance and as I looked back on the camp I breathed a sigh of relief, before eventually passing out. I awoke in a random bed, my body had been tended to, I had scars left from the iron poker burning my skin all over my chest, and scars from the whipping on my back. I had managed to survive the whole incursion yet, at what cost.