Trouble

I decided to let Trudy come get the kids, she had expressed to me how delighted she had been to have them in the house, and Ava missed being there to help her bake. "Rod can't find out they came."

"I will bring them back home tomorrow night when u get off work," I decided I would allow them to go. I imagined having the fourth child that would have been in the picture also, except he didn't make it, Broderick did. After Serenity had let Jachin in my home a second time I told her I wouldn't be needing her until further notice, I saw the hurt in her eyes and also knew I was depriving her of leniency. Her and Tray reminded me of me and Rod at that age and it was innocent puppy love, but she needed reprimanding when I finally came out because I had been. As well I didn't like the curiosity across her face after I came from the room an hour and a half later, Trudy's neither. When the children said goodbye to Uncle Jay in front of her and Jachin left, that's when I found out he had paid Destiny for the whole month, 6 days a week.

"The children will be gone for a day or two, I'll let u know when I need u again."

"What about all the money? I bought a new phone and some clothes, all I have is 30 dollars left!"

When RJ was born I gave him his brother's name but had wished for another girl, I couldn't afford the amenities to adorn Ava with when she was a baby and Rod's family only bought her a toy for her first birthday; I hadn't had a chance to enjoy being creative with my daughter. My grandmother would find clothes at garage sales and flea markets the first three months of her life, then I got a job.

I now found myself addicted to Destiny's journal; when Jachin came I didn't know where I laid it and while he was in the bedroom if he saw it he hadn't mentioned it at ill. Standing in the shower trying to cover my body I had defensively come up with an explanation for taking it--that I wouldn't have even been able to recall right then, I was so appalled and figuring out he was dangerous, my husband sometimes surprised me and would just show up without notification, Jachin knew that.

I'd seen him unbuttoning his pants and removing his shirt after speaking about not having protection and he didn't intend to wait for a reply. "U can't be too loud, u have company remember." He had stepped inside placed his hands flat against the shower wall above my head while I covered my body, "Relax, u are making me feel like a pervert. Why did u leave?"

"I needed to get home."

"U couldn't come say see ya later, didn't u want to see me again?"

"I thought u were in the shower."

"I told u were going to shower together. Where is the soap?"

"I only have Caress."

"Well I'll use the Old Spice. Did u miss me?"

OH MY GOD! WHYYYY! He couldn't use my husbands shot glass and body wash!

"Whats your sign!?"

BOLD BASTARD!

"Libra. I missed u so I put my clothes back on and came here if u are wondering. Do u wear the make up when what's his face is home?"

"I DON'T KNOW WHO THAT IS! Please leave! I can't do this!"

"Do what? Aren't we just talking? I wouldn't want to impregnate u...I'm dark skinned and that piece wouldn't fit the puzzle. U want me?"

"WHAT PUZZLE! MY FAMILY IS NOT A PUZZLE! WHY WON'T U LEAVE, I DON'T WANT ANYTHING FROM U!"

"Because u don't want me to. Just feel and take off the bonnet, also u owe me. Why do u cry so much, are u weak?"

"I'm not taking off my shower cap and I don't owe u shit! Leave before my children come in!"

"I locked the door, and besides they're occupied. My niece would love them, I'll bring her by one day when I visit. Clean your mouth."

WHY WAS HE SO DEMANDING?

"WHAT? Jachin, I understand u are going through some things but I am married and SHIT has already gone too far between us. I love my husband and he loves me, this would hurt him if he found out. Your little shenanigan earlier was cute and I haven't had this much--excitement in forever, but I'm married. Do u know how much I pray when I leave your presence?"

"I prayed to be in yours so what makes your prayers so special. Kiss me, I'll ask for forgiveness later."

"PLEASE GET OUT!"

"Ok, come on. U are too loud."

"No I have to shower!"

"We can shower first but I'm not getting out without u. I can't sleep when I don't see u because your smell won't go away. I changed the comforter because I could smell u when I walked past that room but it didn't work your smell is on me."

"Wash it off."

"OK, I'll try to but it's not that simple, help me."

He picked up Rod's body wash. squeezed in his hand and rubbed it in the hair on his chest, what did he want! He could get sex from anybody! I refused to believe I was targeted but wanted to mention Destiny and didn't know how to Now I was infatuated with that girl and it was his fault, I didn't have to even know she existed!

"Do u use that?"

"What?"

"The vibrator."

"GET OUT!"

"Sssshhh! The children will hear u. Ride somewhere with me Tuesday."

"NO! I can't ride u!"

"Huh?"

"Ride with u, u know what I mean."

"U can drive then, but I want u to go, I prefer u ride though."

He started washing me with the suds in his hand around my nipples then he rubbed the stretchmarks on my belly, I grabbed his hand and told him to get out of the shower again. I was afraid my children would come inside and he had been in there with me for almost 10 minutes.

"Ok, I'm getting out, I'm warm now," I said.

I had showered that morning and had only gotten in because I was frozen to the bone. I hadn't expected him to follow me home, I had to stop entertaining him completely but he wouldn't leave me alone! I knew nothing about the man in my shower. He was still rubbing me like I hadn't said anything and was standing between me and the shower door.

"Which side of the bed do u sleep on?"

"MY SIDE!"

"I'm not a threat to u, why are u so mean to me. Kiss me."

"U are a threat to my marriage, I have a husband--I don't want to hurt him!"

"DOES HE THINK THAT WAY? JUST ASKING!"

"Yes, he wouldn't hurt me! The water is getting cold! We can't do this."

" U need to get out more and u are beautiful when u are really afraid and not pretending. I can't see my sister's face so I have to look at yours, don't judge me. I have to study your features, each point, each angle, your facial structure, the contour of your nose. Your face is still innocent unlike hers. When I saw Destiny last she didn't look the same but my father had taught me what defeat looked like."

"WERE U IN LOVE WITH YOUR SISTER!? THIS IS AWKWARD JACHIN!"

"No not back then I only loved her but I am now."

His words had a tendency of going in my ears and traveling throughout my body, he knew how to speak to my mind, gut and notions and control them all and what he had just said plummeted my heart, I wondered if it was fear or concern I felt.

"I'm tired of asking for the kiss."

"I'm so sorry about what happened to her but I can't console u."

"I know. But u are a DAMN GOOD SUBSTITUTE FOR HER! I LOVE MY SISTER, SO BE HAPPY U CAN EVEN COMPARE TO HER!"

"I FUCKIN HATE U!"

"U DON'T KNOW WHAT HATE IS! U DON'T KNOW HOW TO HATE AND HAVEN'T HAD A REASON TO HATE YET! DO U WANT ONE!?"

I was scared now and it was obvious; he was acting like he wanted us to be exposed and as if we were the only two inside the home.

"All I need u to do is kiss me, it will make me better, I'm sorry, I want u. I tried not to even say anything to u, u can't imagine how hard but if I didn't I would have completely lost it and I have to make my mother better, I can't lose it! Please just kiss me! I need this connection between us that u refuse to acknowledge. U don't know what it's like to need to know about someone do u?

I tried to understand something after Destiny died, she was so obsessed with his wife that she just couldn't stay off of her profiles, the history on her computer went on for miles with the links to all of her social accounts, she was obsessed with her. Her computer had pictures of her saved, pictures of their children, so many it troubled me and I'm not easily troubled. MY FATHER TAUGHT US AGAINST BEING TROUBLED, BUT NOW I'M TROUBLED! SEE, SO I, I HAD TO TRAVEL THROUGH DESTINY'S THOUGHTS AND I REALIZED THAT IF I COULD FEEL WHAT DESTINY FELT THEN I COULD PREVENT MY FATHER FROM GETTING INVOLVED BECAUSE WHEN SHE BECAME TROUBLED WE DID TOO! KISS ME."

I didn't know what to do so I kissed him on the lips and then he kept on talking.

"I know affection fixes it, that's all Destiny wanted, affection, and she didn't even care which one of them she got it from, him or her! To us she was strong, to him she was humble--the conversations between them were proof, she couldn't be humbled! My sister was tough! The way I see it one person caused it all to happen but to Dad THEY ALL DID because she became troubled and troubled US! He targets them all if he's troubled and especially if his target is hard to FIND! DO U KNOW WHY WE COULDN'T CRY!? He won't let us, we couldn't cry for her because that mean we are troubled and he worked so hard to keep us from any kind of TROUBLE! BUT TROUBLE FOUND US! I can't be intimate with anyone because I may be too troubled but with u it's different, it didn't take long for me to figure it out, that's why I can smell u. Why does he allow u to work? He allows u to be out in the open, u can be seen from the intersection, I mean I'm sure he has sniper skills he knows its not good to be out in the open, he knows u are too pretty to be on the front line."

He laughed.

"I told my sister that when she told me her duties. I wouldn't allow u to work, someone may want u--he knows that's--not--orthodox Japonica."

"Th-Thank u."

"So now will u kiss me because I miss u."

I started praying because I was in the shower with a psycho, I needed to be on the 7:00 prayer line. My children were there and I didn't want them to be exposed to anything detrimental to their sanity and also I had Serenity's best interest at heart. I heard Broderick beating on the door, then RJ and Ava. Finally Serenity came. Jachin put his lips to mine to prevent me from yelling out to them. "SSHHHH."

I never ignored my children!

The movement against the shower wall could be heard so I stood still under the luke warm water, he picked up the bar of soap and started sliding it on my belly between us but dropped it, the knocking began again, now louder. I prayed Serenity would just leave now! The children would be fine! He found my clit with his soapy hand and rubbed it while biting my bottom lip, I noticed his wet lashes and didn't know they were that long, there was a feeling in the air I couldn't place and he just kept rubbing and rubbing between my clamped thighs and then back up to my clit. He moved closer, I wanted to lift my leg but couldn't give in to him, my toes were gripped to the shower floor. I grabbed his wrist when he started moving his hand faster. When he let my lip go I said, "I have to open the door!" I didn't know if the kids had even been fed or not, I had come right in and went to the bedroom to cry! He ignored me but moved his hand, placed it behind my back and then slid it to my ass while sliding and grinding against me. He knew what he was doing because I tried hard to control my own hands. I reached behind my back, grabbed his hand and put it between my legs. After he didn't continue what he had started I grabbed him, lifted my leg and tried to put him inside of me, "I don't have protection."

I wondered if I gave a fuck.

He turned the shower knob to maximize the hot water, opened the door and got out. I impulsively reached for him and then the vibrator but didn't have good batteries. I saw him through the shower door when he snatched the white RW and JW monogrammed towels we got as a wedding gift, finally, dried off, stepped out and got dressed. He left out but came back and said "Cousin Trudy is here."

I couldn't move. He had opened the door and told them I was in the shower and that he had been waiting on me too but came back in and said, "The door will be unlocked."

He left out taking the children with him, locking the bedroom door behind him. I quickly got out dried off and got fully clothed again and heard while I exited the room"I can't wait to tell Norman I met u! He remembers u! Oh my God! I'm gonna get Nikki for not telling us, is she trying to keep u to herself?!"

"I think she is, between me and u."

"Give me another hug, I'm cousin Trudy! U married?"

"No, not yet."

"Well when u do decide to tie the knot, I'll be happy to make the cake for u and ya bride!"

I came out and saw Trudy but she saw me and knew I had just got out of the shower her whole expression changed. "Oh I called to let u know I was on my way! Well I met Jay, can't wait to tell Norman about him!"

She fastened her eyes on mine and smiled.

"Can u come back for the children? I haven't packed their bags."

"They already have everything there, Rod wouldn't take their things they left before, it didn't make any sense but he was drunk. He threatened to put restraining order against us if we didn't stay away from them!"

I would have responded if Jachin wasn't present and as if he read my mind he said, "I have to get back before it's late."

He walked over and kissed my cheek before telling Trudy nice meeting her. Then he was gone.

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