Chapter 9

I ended up on Chase's door step hoping Emily would still be here. After knocking, the door opens and I immediately throw my arms around Emily as she hugs back looking confused. "Sam, I thought you said you couldn't come over?" She asks me as she pulls away and lets me in. "I couldn't handle it anymore Em, The lying, He wouldn't tell me the truth. He just kept telling me the same lie over and over and I-" I start to say but I instantly start crying gain before I can finish what I was saying. "Come here, sit." Em says softly and leads me to the couch and sits with me. "Everything will be okay I promise. I think you just need some time to yourself for a bit and then confront him again." She says but before I can reply my phone rings in my pocket and I take it out to see that it's Alex and I immediately decline the call then turn my phone off.

"Wanna talk about it?" She asks seeing I declined his call. I look at Em and start explaining. "I love him Emily, but I don't think I can stay with him if he doesn't want the same thing that I do." I say softly. I don't want it end this way for us but if he doesn't want kids and I do, then I don't see this marriage working any longer. Emily just gives me a look before she sighs. "Do you remember in high school? When Alex pushed you away thinking it would keep you safe and he wouldn't tell you why?" She asks me making me confused on why she's bringing this up. "Yes, but what does that have to do with this?" I ask curiously trying to understand why this has to do with that. "You ran away from the problem then, it took Chase of all people to convince you to give him a chance to explain." She starts but laughs hearing Chase say 'I heard that' from somewhere in the house making me laugh as well. "Anyway, I'm just saying, don't make the same mistake you made in high school now. We're not high schoolers anymore, you can't always run away from the problem and I say that with love. Go home Sam, demand the truth from him." She says as I just stare at her quietly thinking it over.

Eventually I nod and give her smile before hugging her. "I love you Em, so much. You're gonna be a great mom." I say as I pull away and get up to leave. "Thank you, that means a lot to me, I just hope you're right." She says as she walks me to the door. I turn to face her and hold her hand in mine, "I know I'm right." I give her a smile that gives me one back before letting go and head to my car.

The whole drive home I think. Think about what I would say, think about what he would say, think about what would happen next depending on the conversation. I just think in general and before I know it, I'm pulling up into the drive way and park. I take a deep breath and get out and head to the door. A part of me is nervous thinking he left but I know he would still be home knowing I needed time to myself for a bit. I slowly open the door and look into the living room where I left him to see Alex is sitting on the couch with his head in hands. I can tell me leaving like that must have hurt him.

I fully move myself into the house and shut the front door. Loud enough to get his attention but not loud enough to where it sounded like I angrily slammed the door. I see his head shoot up quickly before he gets off the couch runs to me and pulls me in a hug. I return the hug and wrap my arms around him tightly and I feel the tears fall on my neck. I didn't think me leaving would make him cry but I had to get away from the lies. "Shorty, I'm sorry I-" Alex starts to say but I pull away and shake my head stopping him.

"No Alex, I talk, you listen. All I wanted was the truth but you kept trying to feed me the same lie over and over again. If you didn't want kids, you shouldn't have married me because that's what I want. I love you Alex, but I need to know if this is what you want as well. I know your lying when you say you aren't ready. When you lie to me, it feels like I can't trust you even if it's something small or something big. To me a lie is a lie and it hurts me when I feel like I can't trust you cause I do. So I'm asking one more time, do you want children?" I finish saying. Alex is quiet for a bit just staring into my eyes as I look at him as well. Eventually he sighs before dropping his head in my shoulder again.

"I love you so, so much Sam. I didn't mean to lie to you, I was just afraid of what you would think if I told you the truth." He says before lifting his head again. "What's the truth Alex? You still didn't answer my question." I say ignoring the fact that he called me Sam. "I do want kids, of course I do. I said I wasn't ready because the truth was even though I am, right here, right now, I'm scared." He tells me as I release a sigh of relief before looking confused on what he meant. Before I can ask he continues. "I told you that lie because if you knew the reason is because I'm scared of what Dayton would do if he knew you were pregnant, you would say I'm letting him control our marriage." He says.

"You don't want kids right now because of Dayton?" I ask in disbelieve. "I almost lost you once Shorty, that was the worst day of my life. If you were pregnant and he killed you, I wouldn't just loose you, I'd loose them also. Something we made together. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if that happened, I don't think I would live another day on this earth if I lost you and the baby." He tells me quietly as tears comes from both of us. I sniffle quietly before I grab Alex's face in my hands to make him look at me. "I love you Alex, and when we have a baby, they would love you as well. You won't loose me and you won't loose our baby when that time comes." I tell him as he smiles at me before placing his forehead against mine. "I love you Shorty." He whispers to me before leaning down and kissing me as I melt into him.