Pretty Face with ugly fate.

After that brief encounter with the brown-eyed beauty, I went home, my mind drifting to those whispered, what information?

Why would the principal pay someone to get some information?

As I approached my hose which wasn't so far away, I started to think if my father was involved with any of that.

I stood there fidgeting with my keys and wondering what would will happen, I closed my eyes, I knew my father was not home at that time, he is only there at breakfast and evening not at noon and night, but on Saturdays he was always there. But the hallway always reminds me of my worst days.....

I stepped in and rushed to my room and stripped down and went to take a shower.

I stepped in the shower not waiting for it to get warm, most of the times it calmed me but as the wound was fresh in my heart it chose to be otherwise, it remained me of the events of last Saturday.

--flashback to Saturday--

(WARNING: abuse and sensitive use of language)

"Comedown here you faggot!!" he yelled. "COME NOW!!!"

I knew what he wanted so I slipped in the kitchen to get some beer. He kept yelling things which I neglected. "Here you go." I said and passed him his drink and turned to go to my room. "Whoa what do you think you brought me huh?"

I turned around only to get a beer bottle smashed on my arm. "Ow!!" "Did that hurt! Guess what else hurts? When you don't give me my CHILLED beer you faggot!!"

I flinched, but I was fed up with all this so I returned him a glare, and soon realized that it was a huge mistake....

"Look WHO is eyeing me!" he took a wooden leg of the broken chair which he broke when he once threw it on my back.

"aaahhh....." I yelled in pain as he hit me on my back at the old wound.

"6 years was your age you pathetic kid! " one more hit

"AH!" "your mom had nowhere to go I of all the people I, helped her and took the responsibility of you!" one more..

"They rumors are right about you! You ARE the most unlucky hideous beast anyone can have."

one more.

"Your father left you when he heard that your mother is pregnant"

punch in the gut.

"She got kicked out of her house when you told that you have the disease to like guys for fucks sake!"

kick in the shin.

"I LOST my job! All those rumors are right of you being nothing but an pretty face with ugly fate you carry with you" he din't have to punch me or kick me now to make me feel the pain I was already a shivering and crying mess on the floor, curled up in a ball, covered with blood and bruises.

--flashback over--

"Rumors" I mumbled, those pathetic thoughts! They were the real reasons I moved from jersey to this place. I don't have a problem with going back there it's just that those rumors do make sense.

(WARNING: self harm)

I stepped out of the shower with a trembling lip and red eyes, I din't even knew when I started to cry. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my waist. I couldn't get hold of my breath, and my heart beat was electric fast.

I placed my hands on the sink and stared at my reflection, all those thoughts ran through my mind over and over again. Making me look away from it, "Only one thing can cure this" I grabbed my razor.

"Just cut!" Father left my mom when he heard I was about to come in his life.

One cut on my thigh.

Mom was kicked out of her community when they overheard our conversation of me being a Pan-Sexual.

One more cut, this one bigger and deeper.

Mom could have completed her book if it wasn't for me who had to change school every 4 months.

One more cut, deeper, bigger, longer....

She had to marry a pathetic excuse for a father to pay rent and get security for my panic-attack disorders.

One more cut....."It is all your fault"

"Just a pretty face with ugly fate." I said looking myself right in my eyes. Then I remembered "mom can't see me like this, no one can" good that she is in Italy researching for her book. I looked at my self, closed my eyes, took a deep breath, opened my eyes, and smiled at my self. "I am fine. I am fine as always" I said pulling my most compelling smile. A fake smile.

"That wasn't so bad, no will ever know, no one has to know." I murmured grabbing one of my dirty shirts to clean the blood off. And threw it in the basket.

I walked out of my room wearing a grey plain shirt, blue hoodie, and comfortable jeans and went to the gym.

The gym was close to my house it was owned by Gabe, his only way to get the income. I stole the extra key last year.

--In the gym--

It wasn't open right now so I was alone there "Good." I said to myself. Why? well now I can dance freely. Yep I love dancing but not as a career but because I felt as if I was floating in the air Just like swimming that thought made me smile. A real smile not a fake one. Well no one is hear so taking off my shirt and hoodie shouldn't be a bad idea.

I threw them in a corner, and stetted up the song I wanted to hear at the moment.

Beliver by Imagine Dragons.

The music started and I let myself drown in the tunes floating throw my ears.......