BROKEN

Warning ‼️ chapter ahead contents physical, mental and verbal abuse. If this may trigger you in anyway please skip it. Thank you

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"if you think about it, you are actually very lonely and no one but yourself will notice that"

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As I walked down the corridor, with my plain black skirt with one pocket on my right hand, a white shirt covers by a black school jersey and flooded white socks in my Bata school shoe.

My hair tied up in a tight bun, no hair out of place. My bag pack on my shoulder tightly held in my hand, eyes cased down.

Walking passed the boys who would sit in the front coner of the class was the hardest thing I had to do, but I had to do it and once I get to the far end of the room then I am safe.

But like everything in my life it's never how I want it but how others want.

I really don't know how I missed the only thing in the rolls of the class, this has happened one to many times but I still fall into the trap.

So as I felt the ground understand me shift holding my breath for what's to come, my right knee made contact with the floor then my left and my hands. My bag fell to the floor and opened scattering the pens, pencils and books, as tears gathered up in my eyes a sharp pain shot up from my knee and my vision blurred.

Letting out a shakey breath, I try I calm my nerves and not let my tears run down my cheeks and let them know they hurt me. Instead I laugh not one of joy but a bitter laugh one that holds so much hate.

The class was silent and the only sound was of my laugh I am sure the expected something else maybe a cry or a plea for help but no, I will it give them the pleasure of seeing my broken.

"I guess she is finally admitting to be a crazy person" one girl said and snickered with her desk mate .

"Mfula has always been crazy she's just showing it now" a boy backed her up saying my name in traditional language.

Just then I see two set of shoes in front of me, the my hair is pulled back with so much force that I feel my hair break and I wince in pain. Forcing me to look at Mapalo Chisha and her follower Margaret Banda, it feels like a lifetime ago that Margaret and I were friends always together she said she will never leave me or hurt me like the people in my life that she'll always protect me and I her.

She was my bestfriend, she called me special and beautiful and that anyone who did not see that are blind. She said my eyes are a symbol of God's power and love for me, but only one summer made her change her opinion only thirty-one days, four weeks and three days made her see me for what they all saw me as. A witch, a demon walking among Christians, the devil's little helper, a being not worthy of their love and acceptance.

And that's just how it all started going down hill from there, I was so excited to tell her how my summer was , how I managed to not get beaten or how I managed to eat two straight meals in two weeks and how I now loved looking at the beautiful night sky and how I've come to know my zodiac sign. But that morning when I waited for her at the school entrance and saw her with Mapalo and Chimukwa I was surprised to say the least but I thought maybe just maybe they aren't as bad as they were in seventh grade.

I waited for her to approach me, she saw me and looked away as I waved at her I then walked towards her but because I could open my mouth to ask her was wrong with her Mapalo pushed me to the ground. Still in a state of shock I looked up only to find Margaret laughing with the rest of them.

"We don't talk to orphan witch girls" Mapalo spat.

"Go die in a ditch somewhere you demon!" Chimukwa said in a bitter tone

"Why do you even come here, why not bewitch someone who is weak in spirit?" Mapalo asked.

"If only you listened to that tiny voice telling you to kill yourself, we wouldn't have to see you pathetic little voice and demon like eyes, GO.TO.HELL RAIN" she my only friend, my bestfriend, the one I trusted in my weakest moment stood tell in front of the two girls and with the attention on this particular moment said all that she knew would hurt me, destroy me and break the last and only hope I had at being normal.

That day I cried in front of them, that day I ran from school back to the orphanage twenty-five minutes from school, that day I screamed and asked God why he did this to me, why he made me this way, why he didn't just let me die somewhere, why he let me live.

But that's not the only thing that happened the day, that day I lost all hope in humanity, I went to the Nan of the orphanage and told her I wasn't well and that I need to rest but she told me to seek counseling from the Priest and so I went and what I went for I did not find.

And that broke me more.

So looking up , seeing the person that caused all that pain five years ago and looking at her with all the hate one could master, the hatred I feel in my heart my soul my whole being for this on person, I don't care about the others , I don't care about what Mapalo or the others say or do to me, only the person I let in, I gave her the keys to my heart, I opened my mind up to her and she got my keys unlocked my heart took it out and stabbed it until it wasn't a heart anymore but crushed matter,exposed my deepest darkest thoughts to everyone and without a care in the world to what she was doing to me.

"You don't deserve to be alive" Mapalo hissed and pulled my hair once more but I didn't feel anything, numb to all of it.

"Why don't you do us a favor and disappear?" Margaret said in a bored tone like she has better things to do than be here.

Only a day left for us to start our 12th grade examinations and after that I'm leaving this place all my pain, all the suffering will be over when I leave this town.

Chipata, a place I was dumped in, a place I was left to suffer in and I'll never come back here again, NEVER.

Once all my exams were done, I got the money I saved up in all my years I've lived here and when to the bus station, got on a bus to Lusaka and never looked back, not once and not ever.

I promised myself I'd forgive all the people that wronged me, all the people that hurt me, all that people that broke me everyday and everything moment of my life there but it's going to take some time and alot of it.

I don't even know who I am as a person, I am only a shell of a person I am supposed to be.

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Just a glimpse of Rain's past.

There are more to come.

This novel isn't just about her moving away and starting a new life , it's also about her over coming her demons and discovering herself more as a person and learning more about the people around her.

She has faced so many dark times and she and I have a little in common not all but some.

It feels like a personal story more than anything but mostly it's her life and I need to build her...

Feel free to comment I'm really up for a chat.

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