The truth is, your right attitude cannot and will never make the wrong person become the right. It will only provoke such a person to anger. Therefore, do not start a journey you cannot finish, detach yourself and relieve yourself of self-imposed weight, consciously forgiving to help yourself and letting go by deliberately choosing not to bear grudges, but counting it all joy as a privilege to learn the great lesson you would not have learnt if you had not gone through.
The experience of my first relationship taught me how to live in a higher realm...
According to studies, Doctors have found that there is a huge relationship between forgiveness and health. The fact is after being hurt, angry, suffering loss, real or false guilt, or envy, that blocks you, heart, from loving truly, profoundly affects the way your body functions. I am talking to you from my personal experiences I have had in the past. Unforgiveness is disastrous to your health because it will cause alteration in the pattern of chemicals and electricity in your body. It also disrupts the harmony of the brain waves, making you less able to think clearly and make good decisions.
Relating the condition of unforgiveness with the brain chemistry, you will discover its disastrous effect on your entire life because the brain communicates with itself by sending out chemical information from one neuron or nerve cell to another. Brain chemistry is the sum of all the chemical messaging that takes place in the brain, as generating movement, speaking, thinking, listening, regulating the systems of the body, and countless others.
Everyone feels down and depressed now and then, however, this condition could build in you a complex system that will make you find it very hard to relate properly with people, even those that may be out for good. Depressions could kill your interest in life and allow you to build your world of loneliness, where you live with evil thoughts that could grow into a terrible monster if not properly handled with prayers and proper counselling. I have been there; I know exactly how it feels. Life is like chemistry, unforgiveness is like a catalyst speeding up the reactions of your life to hurts and bitterness that drags you into uncontrollable sorrow that could live you in a state of disillusion left without the hope of positive life. When the situation presents an opportunity to connect you to the light of starting all over again and move on with your new life as given, you cannot move on with the wrong combination of chemical (Life’s experiences), which will certainly yield much more toxic product if not checked and corrected.
The stress of not having a forgiving heart can distress your muscular-skeletal system by increasing the tension of the muscles of your forehead, thereby producing headache and shrinks that will eventually start making you look older than your normal age. Moreover, an unforgiving heart produces other symptoms such as stomach aches (Ulcer), muscle contractions, uncontrollable internal heat, joint pains, dizziness, and tiredness. For example, your muscles may tighten, causing imbalances or pain in your neck, back and limbs. There is decreased blood flow to the joint surfaces and this could eventually lead to a heart attack. This makes it more difficult for the blood to remove waste from the tissues and this could lead to a serious infection that could put your life at risk, free your mind! It reduces the supply of oxygen and nutrients to the cells, therefore resulting in cardiac arrest. This increases chances of delayed or inadequate repair during sleep, which could lead to insomnia and even when you manage to sleep, you will be experiencing a terrible nightmare.
My bosom friend Onah could attest to the fact, while I experienced hurt from my previous relationship that never worked out. I could not sleep, even if I… it will be an experience from one nightmare to the other, with deep groaning. You can never satisfy a cheating partner, I reiterate! If your relationship is a blessing, it must not add sorrow to your life, please watch it!
Most people are already miserable in their relationship; I wonder what marriage will be like for them.
When you have come to a crossroad in your relationship, it is time to seek the right counsel, because in the multitude of counsel there is safety.
Signs in a relationship are indication foreseeing how your marriage may likely go and wisdom puts it thus, “A prudent man foresees evil and hides, the simple pass on and are punished.”
If your relationship does not go the right way, it will certainly cause you grief and anxiety, which could lead to unforgiveness that disconnects you from the grace of answered prayers. You may not know the implication of unforgiveness, but it is dangerously dangerous, do not just go there. Learn how to free yourself; else, you will end up killing yourself by yourself, even before the appointed time. The effects of unforgiveness to yourself includes; depression, low self-esteem, deprivation of good opportunities that life offers you; punishing yourself through activities or relationship that works out to harm yourself; addictions and so on. The alternative to forgiveness is bitterness and resentment. A person, who refuses to forgive, hurts himself/herself, they are ever bitter, and bitter people are no fun to be with... They cannot sleep, ulcers line their stomach because they lose appetite to eat, even if they will, they will eat at the wrong and irregular timing. They see the negative in every situation because what fills their heart is feeling of resentment and anger. People who are unwilling to forgive live in their world, feeling they are punishing the other person that offends or hurt them unduly, but the only person paying the price is himself/herself that is unforgiving.
As I advance in life, I started realizing that if the enemy of your thought cannot get at you to walk away from doing what is just; he will try getting you into what is unjust and unforgiveness is unjust. The enemy of your thought will use someone that you love dearly to do the damages of your emotions and feelings, and this will hinder your good aura from where your aurora comes visible and thereby affect your relationship with the right people.
The annoying part of unforgiveness, even when you are right, is that you suffer it much more, even in pains. It affects every fibre of your being and makes you instantaneously sick with the thought of the person who has offended you. Whatever happens to you is a choice, because whatever you do not allow, cannot affect you. Some women’s heart is a snare, some men’s heart is devouring lion, and until the positive force leads you, you will end up falling into snares or the lion’s den, watch it! Where you are resting your heart!
What is more, finding bitterer than death, the woman whose heart is snare and nets, whose hands are fetters? He who pleases the ultimate good force shall escape from her, but she shall trap the sinner.
Unforgiveness is a silent killer that kills the person who bears the grudges even when such a person is right. Yes! You must have been hurt, take a deep breath and beat your chest and deliberately say to yourself, I will free myself, by forgiving the person who had offended me. Unforgiveness affects much more, the person who is been offended. You are doing yourself no good when you keep to yourself the memory and keep dwelling in it. You are rather destroying your immunity, both sacredly and physically, becoming prone to attacks and even chronic diseases. Unforgiveness can ruin your entire happiness.