Blood, Sweat and Tears

Recap:

I press my lips together and shake my head, looking down at his bare chest. He's built like a God. Tall and muscly, with just the right amount of chubbiness to be cuddly. I remember how cuddly he was. How passionate. The feel of his lips on my stomach. His large, warm hands on my thighs. His thick fingers inside me.

"I've changed since you last saw me." I actually hear him swallow, his heart skipping a beat. It's funny. I always thought nightwalkers could never get a moment of peace. But, it feels as if I've unlocked a part of my brain I didn't know I had. I only hear what I want to hear, whatever it is I'm focusing on. I could mute the world around me if I wanted to. It's fascinating. I could just go to sleep right here, right now, in complete utter silence.

"What did he do to you?

He doesn't receive an answer.

Damon POV

I don't bother waiting for an answer from Aya, her eyes having slowly closed and her breathing evened out. Carefully, I climb off the bed and redo my shoelaces before making my way out of the bathroom. I creep past a sleeping Nick on the couch and Sonja on the other. I grab my leather jacket from where it's draped over one of the dining room chairs and make my way out the front door.

In the car, I immediately wind down the windows. Nick graciously helped me clean all the vomit out, but the smell remains. The journey to school is quick and I somehow manage to keep relatively calm for the entirety of the drive. Half the school population is in the parking lot, as school starts within the next ten or so minutes. Calmly, I get out of the car, leaving my sunglasses behind. From my backseat, I grab one of my handguns and tuck it into the back of my jeans. I'm looking around the parking lot for a few minutes before I spot Joshua. When he sees me staring at him I incline my head towards the school field and start walking towards it. I both sense and hear him follow me as I pass him. I keep going until I hit the middle of the field. He stops a few meters away from me, arms crossed over his chest. In my hoodie's front pocket I grip the stake hard enough to dent it.

Inhale . . . . . Hold . . . . . Exhale . . . . .

Voice sharp, he asks me, "What do you want?"

"What makes you think what you're doing to her is acceptable?"

He smirks, "Dick, you don't know half the shit I do to that girl."

"Clearly, the bloodsucker race hasn't evolved their vocabulary much if you're still using dick as an insult."

Inhale . . . . . Hold . . . . . Exhale . . . . .

I have to keep my cool, for just a little longer.

"Dude, give up already. She's too broken, she won't say shit, and neither will I."

I ignore both his comment and its accompanying eye roll, "Why did you bite her?"

His smirk grows, "Why? Don't want her now? How's she doing anyway? Adjusting well? I hope so. I'm kinda in need of a good dick sucking. She'll be a spectacular fuck now. Us immortals are always amazing at fucking." He barely has time to blink before he's on the ground and I'm punching his teeth down his throat. The fangs aren't capable of coming out, unfortunately. He is why I hate vampyres. It doesn't matter if they transitioned that very day, they still think of themselves so much better, so much stronger than the wolves. This insignificant gnat has been a nightcrawler for possibly a year and doesn't know how to scent me enough to know I'm an Alpha. And no matter how old he becomes, I will always be stronger and faster than him.

When my mind finally comes back to me and I stop, he's unconscious. More than a few of his teeth are missing and blood covers the bottom half of his face and his neck. When I get to my feet, I look at myself rather than him, finding that my grey shirt and leather jacket are splattered with blood. I can feel it splattered across my face too. Staring at my hands, I know that they will bruise but I don't care. I don't care about the amount of blood coating my hands either. Vampyres have always been bleeders.

Calmly, I make my way back to my car and ignore all the students staring at me, and all the students running past me to the field. I get in the car and grip the wheel, staying still in my seat. Sighing, I drop my face onto the steering wheel. My eyes squeeze shut, hard enough to stop any tears and to see black spots when I again open them. Sinking my teeth into my arm, I take a minute to sit there and attempt to compose myself, to sit in silence and just breathe. Nick's right, I have to bake more. And meditate more, that helps.

The drive home is quick and silent. I take my time opening the front door to the house, knowing if Nick sees me like this I'll never hear the end of it. Shutting the door, I lean my forehead against it, exhaling slow and deep. Hopefully, hopefully, I did enough. He has been choosing to ignore my warnings, so hopefully, he does not ignore my threats anymore.

"You didn't kill him, did you?" Whirling around, I find Nick in the kitchen, leaning back against the fridge with a mug in his hands.

"We were cleaning last night, should you still be asleep still?" He shrugs, sipping at whatever is in the mug.

After his sip, "I hope you didn't. I don't particularly feel like passing on the news to your lovely mother and brother."

I take off my jacket, hanging it over the back of the couch, "I should've killed him. I wanted to. I almost didn't stop." He takes another sip of his coffee, a long one.

"But you didn't. That's what you need to focus on. You stopped yourself before you went too far." When I take a step towards the bedroom he coughs, a sound obviously meant only for my attention.

"Where'd you go last night?"

I shrug, taking another step, "Where I normally go."

He doesn't need to know, no one does. It's my business. The more they know the more likely they are to get into trouble. I can't let any of them get hurt because of me.

"Cut the bullshit, Damon." I halt, turning to face him, breathing deeply in an attempt to keep myself calm.

"You're an Alpha. You have fucking responsibilities. Whatever shit you're tangled up in, cut it out. Don't fuck yourself or us over. You hear?"

Inhale . . . . . Hold . . . . . Exhale . . . . .

It's easy to calm down. He doesn't know. He doesn't know what I'm doing, where I'm going, or why I'm doing it. He knows nothing. That's how it's staying. He can berate me all he likes. I can't get out of it and I won't ever tell him.

To get to the bathroom I have to walk through the bedroom. In the bedroom, I take a moment to look over Aya. She's stopped sweating but her breathing is still labored.

What I don't realize until the last minute is that my entering the room woke her. It's going to take a while to adjust to the fact that her senses are now as good as my own, if not better. Her eyes almost pop out of her face when she sees me, her eyes lighting with fear. Her whole scent shifting. I didn't want her to see me like this.

"D . . . Damon?"

Not wanting to scare her by getting any closer, I stay where I am as I tell her, "He won't bother you anymore?"

Her fear eases slightly, "Who?" I almost sigh. She constantly tried to convince me there is no one else hurting her but then continues to slip up.

"Joshua," I respond, wanting to look away from her but not doing so. Shame begins to work its way into me, know that I went there for the sole purpose of killing him I may not have ended up killing him, but I wanted to. I still do.

I stand still as Aya tries to sit up, but also gives up, finding it still too hard.

"Can you come here?" I shake my head, holding up my hands. I continue to the bathroom and when I see my face in the mirror my gut drops. More blood splattered onto my face than I thought. And Amaya saw it. I turn, looking at the bathtub. Since I found her in it, almost lifeless, I've been showering at Nick's or mom's house. But I can't do that now. So I force myself to strip and step into the tub. The water runs red as I scrub myself clean, feeling the stickiness of the blood even after it's washed away. Out of the shower I put on some sweatpants and run my hands through my wet hair. After this, I reapply a fair bit of concealer to my face and body, using a beauty blender sponge to blend it in with my skin.

Surprisingly, Aya is still awake when I leave the bathroom.

"What did you do?" I quietly stare at her as she sits, waiting for my answer. But I no longer scent any fear from her. She knows exactly what I did and isn't afraid.

"He won't bother you anymore," I repeat, walking closer to the bed. She tentatively reaches out to me and I oblige her. My mind still blank, not wanting to think of anything, just wanting to sleep. I just want to lay and stare at the ceiling. I don't want to think about anything, see anything or do anything. There's a part of me that doesn't even want to be around Aya. Not for anything she's done, I just want silence.

She rolls onto her side to face me, placing one of her hands on my bare chest. Despite wanting to be alone, it sparks joy within me.

"Are you okay?" I stare at her completely dumbfounded.

"You're amazing. That sicko has been tormenting you for years, someone else is beating the shit out of you, you can barely move, and you're worried about me?"

Pink blooms on her cheeks but she doesn't look away for once, then again, she doesn't respond either. Instead, she tried to pull herself closer to me. Carefully, I pull her to my side, letting her rest her head against my shoulder. She's so small in my arms, small and cold. I run my hand up and down her side as I stare at the ceiling.

"Do you really not want to live anymore?"

She barely moves and for a second, I think she's fallen asleep again, but then she answers very quietly, "Yes. I want to try again."

I have to muster the energy to speak, suddenly exhausted, "Will you?"

She cuddles in closer to my body and I listen to her steady heart as she says, "I don't know." This time I don't respond. She falls asleep soon after and I stay awake, not able to fall asleep. I stay staring at the ceiling. For hours.