Surrender

I felt like a stone was stuck on my chest that I couldn't process. I guess my heart isn't healing at all.

I ran as far as I can and I felt tears running down my cheeks.

It's been three days since Mew and I last had a conversation.

We fought and I didn't want to talk to him.

I realized that I can't keep on ignoring him, I have to talk to him. I need to apologize for being harsh and we need to fix this.

I asked Tong about his possible routes so that it will be easy for me to find him.

He sent a location of a familiar bar because he said that Mew is currently performing in that bar.

I took a cab and went to that bar.

This is where we usually hang out with close friends especially the two Mild. Actually, in our circle of friends, there are two Milds. One girl and one boy.

He must have invited the other Mild to go with him.

It's not a problem for me if Mew is with Mild, she knows her limit and she knows that Mew and I are dating so it's not something to worry about.

I asked one of the bartenders as soon as I entered the bar. I assume that Mew's set was done as no one is playing guitar on stage already.

“Oh, Gulf! It's been a long time, huh. Looking for Mew? He's in the usual place with Mild.” He said.

So, I went to our usual place but a waiter cleaning the table is what I saw.

“Uhm, can I ask?” I asked the waiter.

“Ah, Ma’am. I saw them entering that room,” Said the waiter and pointed to a door.

I started feeling anxious as I know what's inside that hidden room.

It was our room.

What's happening? Are they both inside that room?

I slowly pushed the door as it has no doorknob. It's as flat as the wall so that it won't be visible to others.

It was as if heaven and earth had fallen on me from what I had seen. I grasped my chest as it started to tighten and I took a step back.

I saw Mild and Mew.

Sleeping peacefully, naked.

And there I felt my eyes wanted to tear up so I had to cover my mouth from preventing my sob.

I was about to go out of the room when I heard Mew,

”Gulf,”

I averted my gaze on him when he called me. It was a soft call.

I tried to look at him but I only saw him with his eyes closed.

I couldn't help but burst my tears silently.

He was calling me, my name, but I'm not the one beside him. Fuck!

“I'm here,” I said even though I know that he can't hear me.

”Gulf? Gulf, is that you?” I heard Mew said. I assume that he's awake so I hurriedly went out of that room.

”Gulf, wait!"

I didn't bother stopping and I was just running away from that room. I didn't even have time to care about people looking at me. I have nowhere to go. I just want to escape! I don't want to see them!

I don't know what to feel, I suddenly went numb. It was pain that I felt. So much pain!

How could they do this to me?

Have I made something bad?

I know Mew, he's not gonna do something horrible even if he's drunk.

He would tell Mild to go and bring him to me but what happened now?

I couldn't believe that Mild could actually do something behind my back!

I'm about to fucking lose my mind.

I was just staring at the sky when I remembered what happened five years ago.

I thought I've moved on already.

I thought it was done.

It was all a lie.

I've already accepted what happened, it was such a long time already but I can't help remember the pain it caused me, it was too much I couldn't bear.

It's like I'm just comforting myself that it's okay, I've moved on.

I went back to my senses when I heard a ring.

Mild's calling,

”Where have you been? It's past your working hours, what happened? Deim's asleep already, he slept waiting for you. When are you going to go home?” He said when I answered the call.

“Mild,” I can feel my eyes forming their tears again and I can't continue with what I'm supposed to say.

“Are you okay? What happened?” He asked, worried.

”It's Mew. H-He's here already. He helped me to get away with that old man.” I said while avoiding crying.

“Huh! What? Did I hear it right? Mew?” Said Mild with confusion in his voice.

“Why does it still hurt me?”

”Where are you? I'm going to fetch you!”

“I don't know, Mild. Who'd take care of Deim?” I must have run too far that I don't know where am I.

“Uh, Boat is here. I'll let him take care of Deimos first.”

After talking to Mild, I waited for him for about half an hour.

I saw his car, so I immediately stood up so that he could see me.

He went out of the car and run towards me with a hug. A hug that gives accompanies when pain is present.

”Let's go home?” He said and I just nodded in response.

"Leaves will soon grow from the bareness of trees,

And all will be alright in time.

From waves overgrown come the calmest of seas,

And all will be alright in time.

Oh, you never really love someone until you learn to forgive."

I smiled heavily while the song was playing.

I may not be that strong to face the world's most crucial circumstance but at least, I tried.

I felt proud of myself earlier, it was one of the moments where I didn't cry in front of him nor I didn't bulge.

He was worried, I saw it in his eyes. But, how could he be worried? He should worry when he knew Mild would take advantage of him before. I don't need his concern now.

I admit, I felt like heaven and earth have fallen to me but I can say that I'm thankful he was there.

He'd always save me before, but I guess I need to stand for my own now. I can never depend on someone who once cheated on me.

It'll be okay.

Soon.