CHAPTER 16° “The elegance of the heart”
The bell rang for the last time that semester, the dreaded pathological anatomy exam was finally over. However, that sense of freedom they had just gained was accompanied by an inexplicable state of malaise and emptying.
Reddened faces, frowns and sweat-drenched foreheads, raised eyebrows, eyes wide open and staring into space, curled noses and downward corners of the mouth ... read a mixture of emotions like
… FEAR…
…SADNESS…
…ANXIETY…
…FRUSTRATION…
And
DISCOURAGEMENT
While she waited for her friends, Iris took a refreshing drink from the dispenser… finally she would have a few days to herself, a short pit stop to recharge her body and mind. She had in mind to find a secluded place, maybe a small but quiet park, one of those where in the morning they do those courses like tai-chi, which from what she had heard from mum's friends, it was so relaxing ... or she could start again to do some physical activity, because you know that gymnastics improves sleep, and she had several hours to recover, and reduces stress and tension and god knows just how much she had to dispose of…
Yes, she would take care of herself a little bit, because she deserved it ... that way all the doubts that were driving her crazy would disappear too ... She took a deep breath, opened her eyes just in time to see her friends come to her with distorted faces
"Are you all right, girls?"
"I have no words!"
"At this moment I don't even know my name!"
"As usual you are always exaggerating ..." Iris smiled
"Exaggerate? We "
"Easy for you to say! It will have been easy as usual for you who are a geek! "
"I'm not a geek, I just don't reduce myself to the last moment like you do!"
"Yes, yes it will be ... changing the subject how did you answer question number five?"
"What was?" Iris answered resigned to what seemed to be the beginning of an interrogation
"It was the one who asked what Meckel's diverticulum is due to"
"I marked the second, that is, the one that said it is the persistence of the mesenteric onphalus duct"
" Me too, me too ... thank goodness at least one I got it right! "
"And what did you answer to question seven, Iris?"
"That was the one you were asking about hepatocellular carcinoma, right?"
"Yes, yes, that one!"
"But that was very easy Hwa! The answer is cirrhosis of the liver "
"Thank goodness, I answered right, it is certain that if I had made a mistake, I would have had to change my faculty "
"In fact, because that was one of the easiest ever Hwa "replied Iris, laughing heartily
"And what about question ten…"
"Enough, enough! We don't talk about it anymore! Now what's done is done! "
"Right, regardless of how the results are going to be we should celebrate! What do you think Iris? " "Here I really ..."
"Come on, don't do the usual bad party! You who are a geek should know that spending some time with friends after a traumatic event helps to reduce the accumulated stress! "
"All right! All right!"
"Good girl! Will you see us tonight at the place where you work? "
"Right there we have to go !?"
"Iris wasn't a question! That place is so cool and trendy; great music and lots and lots of good alcohol, which is what we need to forget today's stress! "
"Ok see you tonight," Iris gave up.
The climate was not very different in the business school. Even there, in fact, the last bell of the semester had rang, and the faces of the students who came out of the classrooms after taking the infamous examination of micro and macro economy aren't very different from those of medicine. Eyes wide open, lost in the void, almost looking for those strange and complex formulas that even after studying for a hundred years they would never be able to understand and above all to memorize.
Frowning faces and almost trembling lips as if they were still repeating, in a whisper almost with fear, that damned formula that was needed to answer the questions written in bold on the exam sheet.
As in medicine, various groups soon formed, Lan and her closest friends were no exception.
"At least it's finished"
"Yes, you're right ... the only positive note of this exam ... it's finished!"
"Have you read the questions? They were very difficult! "
"You're right! Imagine that I have not even understood some of them "
" And you Lan why don't you say anything? "
"It's true! Usually, you are the first to comment ... usually you are the one who comments one question after another until the end, no one excluded ... what's wrong today? "
"What should I tell you?" Lan replied with a deep sigh
"I don't know! For example, to question number two, that is the one that asked about the elasticity of the demand for a good with respect to the consumer's income, what did you answer? "
"Well but it's easy Malee! It was, if I'm not mistaken, the three that is the one that said that it is positive if the good is normal "
" Fiuu! I got it right! "
"And what did you answer to the seventh, that is the one that asked about the Nash equilibrium?" "Uhm, the right answer should be: it can lead to a sub-optimal result compared to a balance that is the result of a coordination of two players"
"If so, and I don't doubt it since you said it and you are a super geek, I answered right!"
"Enough girls now! We are, even if for a short time, on vacation! Let's enjoy these relaxing days, don't you think ?!" Lan laconically commented
"You are absolutely right! What are you going to do? "
"My mother and I will go for a few days to be pampered in a SPA"
"Blessed are you! I will have to settle for long relaxing walks with my dog in the park behind the house "she added in a tone of envy Malee
" But tonight we all go together to celebrate in that cool and very fashionable place "
" Which one? " Lan asked almost concerned
"That place we went to a short while ago… the one near the dorms…"
"Which one? The one of the mega party? "
"Yes, that's it!"
"For me it is a Yes! For you Lan? "
"Ok ... ok it's okay for me too" Lan replied surrendering to fate
... She had a strange feeling, she wasn't able to describe it, because it was a completely new feeling for her, but she had the presentiment that something, something very important was to happen ... that something would change her ... it would change her life ...
…forever ...
Then, exhausted, she decided that she would let fate decide
... whoever it was ...
…even though ...
It would have been nice if
... but she had demanded too much from fate in past, and therefore could not expect one more time ...
…but ...
Never as in those days when she found herself spending hours and hours on books in order to once again give her best for something that she did not feel in the least as a duty, contrary to her friends, but as a pleasure, she nevertheless felt that she had to devote herself a little to herself.
The days of relaxation were very few, so she Iris immediately began to pamper herself. Once home she did not lose any of the precious moments of freedom she had just won; she put the backpack on the bed, prepared the tub, and when boiling water almost reached the edge, she added a few drops of lavender essential oil and immersed himself completely, but not before putting the thoughts she had in those days on standby took full possession of his mind.
"Yes, that's exactly what it takes"
Lan thought after carefully placing the last of the many bottles, which was part of her daily beauty ritual, on the mirror in front of the huge shower. Then she lowered the lights, lit the sandalwood incense, which relaxed her so much, and after entering the shower she let herself be grabbed by that cold purifying jet. In those last days she had been sitting for too many hours studying, so she felt all the muscles, none excluded, really tense, so a nice cold shower could only be a real cure-all! She also needed a lot of energy to go out and face the crazy night her friends had planned.
After turning off the water tap, she got out of the shower, and noticed with great satisfaction and despite the stress due to the exams, that her skin was more toned than ever, not to mention her long raven hair, always brighter; she smiled pleased with herself as she began to spread the first of the many creams that stood in front of her.
According to the fashion magazines that her mother liked so much, the trend of the moment was "DARE", so Iris should have worn a long solid colour dress or at most floral patterns, obviously high heels or wedges combined with an elegant clutch. Those magazines made everything appear so easy and natural, as if by magic opening the wardrobe the right outfit, that for every occasion, was there ready to be worn… but the reality for Iris was very different! She remained motionless for a few moments in front of the open wardrobe, hoping that the magic would happen
"I had to listen to mom and go shopping with her ... now for sure I wouldn't be here staring into the cosmic void"
She didn't understand why, because she usually opened the wardrobe and put what she happened to grab, without thinking too much, because after all she never cared about fashion, in fact one of her favourite mottos was "It's not the gay coat that makes the gentleman ". Tonight, however, a sensation haunted her since she had come out of the tub
"How do I dress tonight?"
She wanted to make a good impression, be at the top
"I had to listen to Mom… it's embarrassing! I just don't know what to choose… not that she has much of a choice! There is nothing decent in this wardrobe! What should I wear ?! "
Suddenly, taken by desperation, she began to grab all the clothes and throw them on the bed
"Not this one ... not even this ... then this is not even talked about ... this absolutely not!"
Her movements became convulsive, hysterical like someone who wants to unravel a skein and instead is tangling it more and more! In the end she made a decision, mostly dictated by the fact that it was getting late and the hardest part was yet to come ... makeup and hair ... these things just weren't part of her, she thought as she turned over her mother's makeup kit, because his could not be defined as such ...
Lan closed the last bottle and very calmly went to the walk-in closet full of clothes and accessories. When she entered, she looked around for a moment
"Clothes are a beautiful passion. Some dream of having a large swimming pool, I prefer wardrobes"
She began to slide her hand, as if it were a caress, along the endless row of hanging dresses as if it would have been in a high fashion store.
"What am I wearing tonight?"
It was not a question that was often asked, because Lan knew how to choose the right outfit for any occasion, it came spontaneously, it was an innate talent, but that evening all certainties seemed to disappear and in their place there was a huge question mark
"The beauty of a woman does not depend on the clothes she wears or the appearance she possesses or the way she combs her hair ..."
She grabbed three dresses and tried them calmly, sure not to make a mistake in the choice, parading back and forth in front of the mirror just as if she were a model ... how many times had she done it before, but this time she felt that she had to be perfect, because it was as if she had a date with destiny so she had to be perfect… she had to be elegant
"Elegance is the only beauty that never fades"
It was true, and despite being still so young she had made this motto her own ... she had to be elegant, she had to be elegant not only in appearance, but also in her soul ... her heart ... her heart had to be elegant and surely destiny would have her awarded. As if she was a robot, she sat in front of the mirror and let her hand do it, trusting blindly since they were gestures that she always did and that she always had done.
Good music, first choice alcohol, guaranteed fun, a place to dance and romp all night long.
"This place is great!"
"it's true! We did well to come here to celebrate "
" You are right already! Iris, you work in a really cool place! "
"You say…" replied Iris sipping the cocktail she held in her hand.
Iris was absorbed in her own thoughts, the music and the chatter of her friends seemed to be very distant sounds. She had the feeling of when you are expecting someone very important, and you can't wait to meet her, so during the wait you get very nervous and start tapping your finger on the table, or a strange tic takes over your foot and, as if it were a tender bunny, frantically beats its hind legs… because… because you can't wait to finally see and meet her… but… besides her friends sitting next to her, no one else should have joined the cheerful group.
"Iris ... Iris are you listening to us?"
"Yes, Hwa is right! You look like you're somewhere else! "
"Yes… sorry, I'm a little tired!" muttered Iris
"Of course! Who knows how much you've studied "
" Hwa you're right! It's okay to commit, we too have studied a lot, but you exaggerate! "
"But for me it's not a sacrifice girls!"
"We know, but look at the state of you, you are the ghost of yourself!"
"May be ..." Iris sighed
A welcoming and trendy place that, in addition to traditional cocktails, also offers the latest ones, not to mention the music
"I could dance all night!"
"You're right, they really put on great music"
"Yes, yes ... and then you saw how cute the DJ is!"
"Yes, he's really cute! What do you think Lan? "
Lan was lost in her thoughts, the music reaching her ears like a muffled sound, and the words of her friends didn't make much sense. It all sounded like the murmur of a rushing brook in the distance
"Lan but can you hear me?" Malee put his hand on Lan's shoulder making her start
"Sorry I wasn't listening to you ... what did you say?"
"That this place is really a blast and that the DJ is really cute"
"Malee is right, and then look at how many cute guys there are tonight! We should come a little more often!"
"If you say so ..." Lan said looking around her.
Her pale cheeks immediately turned red, when her gaze landed on the table where Iris was sitting, and her heart skipped a few beats
"What's wrong with Lan? You are suddenly whitened! "
"it is true! Looks like you saw a ghost! Do you feel OK?" Malee looked at her worriedly
"Yes ... I'm fine ... I'm just a little tired, and the alcohol is starting to take effect ... I'll go outside for a moment to get some fresh air"
"Do you want me to accompany you?"
"No, it's not necessary!"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, yes, don't worry girls ... I'll be right back"
"Girls, I'm going out for a breath of fresh air" said Iris placing the last shot on the table
"You leave us alone already!"
"No, it wasn't my intention ..."
"I think she's already drunk" Hwa chuckled
"Yes, you're right our Iris can't handle alcohol at all"
"This time you're right" replied Iris getting up "I'll be back in a moment, not worry "
When Iris left the club the moon was high in the sky, some street lamps illuminated the open space in front of the club, and the air unexpectedly smelled of sandalwood.
Iris took a deep breath, what she had told her friends a few moments before was true ... when she looked up, a few meters away, her eyes saw a funny little head and above all the only raven hair she would have recognized among thousands ... they ware gathered above the nape, but let fall fluffy on the back ... she went over and sat down next to her
"Hello, are you okay?"
That voice so crowded, so melodious, so enveloping Lan would have recognized her among millions ... her heart began to beat quickly and a kind of electric shock made her skin crawl ... her breath ran out ... she bit her lip wishing she hadn't lost her tongue right then… but in her head there was a short circuit of emotions that sent her into a tailspin
"It's you" she finally managed to articulate "I'm fine ... how are you?"
"A little tired, today I finally took the last exam for this semester ..."
Those words were spoken softly ... too sweet for Iris's heart, which started beating wildly
... The DJ started a love song ...
Iris moved a little closer to Lan ... her hand touched the second time. Lan's trembling hand
"You ... you finished your exams too, right?"
"Yes ... I took my last exam today too ..."
"And how did it go?" Iris barely had the strength to whisper
"Well ... at least I think" as she said it a shy smile lit up Lan's face
For a moment she didn't care where she was ... she just needed that she was there ... fingers intertwined with Iris's
"And how did yours go?" she just whispered as she watched two hands turn into one
"They were difficult, but I think they did well" barely said those words, because that smile made her heart jump
"I guess ... you do medicine, right?"
Iris nodded
"So you're smart ... I'm sure you got top marks ..." Lan murmured in a faint voice.
There was a wedge of moon in the sky, the infinite stars were like small diamonds, the music then helped to increase the rhythm of the beats of the two hearts, the trembling of the hands and a strange state of excitement ...
Iris's lips curled in a shy smile when she heard those words, she couldn't explain why but being called "Nerd" by Lan seemed very cute
At that moment she saw her hair shine in the moonlight ...
They shone like tourmaline crystals ...
Her lips were strangely sensual ...
"God how beautiful she was"
Thought Iris as her body betrayed her mind with thrills of desire.
Lan looked up, her eyes sparkling with whiteness
"I'm not a geek" Iris murmured in a strangely deep tone of voice
She could no longer hold back, bowed her head, brought her lips to hers and felt that the only right thing to do was to get lost.
Whole days of wondering why certain sensations dissolved in that meeting of lips ... days of anguish, doubts and fears melted like snow in the sun… in an instant Lan freed his heart held captive by all this pain. She felt her body start ... she felt a flame rise in her heart ... she sank into that sea of sweetness ... dizzy ... throbbing ... when they broke away they remained motionless
"I was wrong ... I'm sorry I didn't ..."
"No, you aren't" Lan hastened to say
Another smile lit up her face and her eyes lowered to her still intertwined hands ... Iris touched Lan's cheek, gently lift her face
"Lan" she whispered as if it were a caress
... no one had ever said her name in that way ...
Lan reached out to Iris and their lips met again, merging as if at the behest of the moon and those diamond stars that shone in the sky.
The secret of a great seducer is knowing how to conquer women, making them fall at his feet in order to do what he wants with them. It's easy for a Don Giovanni to understand what women love to hear, to know how to take them, how to flatter them, how to adore them, how to make them feel unique and precious.
It's simple, just follow a few precise and simple rules to lead the game as only a true alpha male can and that's it. For some men, all this comes naturally, as if they were born with the ability to bewitch the other half of the sky, and Gear believed himself to be one of these privileged few
... Reality, however, did not correspond to any of this!
That evening he had accompanied his sister to the club, but in spite of all the other times for some strange reason, completely unknown to him, he felt that it would have been better not to go in.
"What's wrong with you? How come you don't come in? "
Iris asked amazed by the behaviour of her dear little brother
"The other time you made false papers to enter and now you are not entering!?"
"Well, I ... tonight ... maybe another time"
"But today the place is full! They're all celebrating the end of the exams "
Iris winked at him
"It's full of beautiful girls, and for a Casanova like you it's an opportunity not to be missed "Iris said, laughing up one's sleeve
"Tonight, I really don't feel like it ... " murmured Gear
"Come on, I'm sure today you'll make some conquests little brother"
"No ... really ..."
"Come on, come on… accompany your big sister, don't be a spoilsport!" Iris said taking him by the arm
"Okay, okay, but I'll just stay for a while, then I'll go home immediately!"
Gear answered as they entered. Gear and her sister quickly split up once inside, because Iris immediately saw her friends and joined them leaving Gear alone. Gear therefore went to the bar, have a drink and immediately go home.
Passing between the tables he heard a girl say
"Yes, yes ... and then you saw the DJ how cute he is?"
and another one answer
"Yes, he's really cute!"
Those simple, banal and obvious phrases shook Gear from the apathy he had imposed on himself in the last few days ... not thinking, not feeling anything had somehow protected him from a yearning that his heart could not bear ... think about that evening ... think of when he and Ipno had been so close ... think of when even for a brief moment, the desire to kiss those lips had taken over ... think ... it would have killed him for sure ... so he simply decided not to ... because it was the only way not to go crazy ... because he was a Don Giovanni ... because he liked women!
Apparently, however, neither his heart nor his eyes agreed, because as soon as he heard those words he looked up, and his eyes immediately sought those of Ipno… Dazzling, enveloping, reassuring and sweet this is how Ipno's eyes appeared to his heart ... he was mesmerized by that look and didn't notice that he went to sit right in front of him
... may be ...
May be to see them better
... maybe ...
Once again how that evening Ipno felt observed ... a sensation of sweetness, tenderness and peace enveloped him completely
He looked up from the console and saw again those eyes that had captured his soul from the first moment. The eyes of one were lost in those of the other and the days spent trying to avoid each other, trying not to think about each other, trying to suppress certain emotions were completely wiped out.
At the end of the evening, without saying a word, Ipno took Gear by the arm and walked to the back. Gear, this time, didn't try to free himself, he followed him meekly, without saying a word.
When they got near the door of the room that Alen used as a warehouse, Ipno opened the door and started to enter, only then Gear stopped, trying to make a timid resistance.
He clung to his arm, not speaking. Ipno almost felt him tremble ... that tremor invaded his heart, he turned and with the other hand he lifted his chin so that their eyes could meet again ... When Gear saw the smile in Ipno's eyes he no longer hesitated ... All the doubts that had held back, the emotions of the heart had been swept away by that smile that was like fresh water
... they entered ...
"What should I do with you?" Ipno whispered with his head bowed
Gear felt his heart catch fire at those words, he felt the strength of desire rebel against every obligation, time once again seemed to stop
Ipno raised his head and without any hesitation his lips sought the lips of Gear, not softly, but with a certain greed, as a thirsty man seeks water after long wandering in the desert.
Gear remained motionless for a moment, then he felt the strength of his heart's desire and his lips automatically welcomed him ...
Ipno felt him surrender completely to him, so he did the same.
When they broke away Gear whispered
"I'm sorry ..."
Ipno put his index finger on his soft still moist lips
"And what about ..." replied, smiling.
You could breathe joy everywhere, in fact on the faces of the students you couldn't only read the tiredness of those who have been bent over books for a long time, but also the joy, the joy of being finally free….
Reve and Hy also went to the club to celebrate
"So, how did the last day of exams exam go MORE?" Reve said almost whispering
"Well ... as usual ... I think ... but wait, wait how did you call me?" Hy asked surprised
"MORE ... I called you MORE; if you want, I will call you BABE from now on… but why use english when I can use one of the most romantic languages in the world!? ... don't you think so? anyway if you like more BABE ... "
" Uhm ... no ... you can call me as you want…" Hy muttered shyly looking down.
Reve's eyes sparkled with amusement and after a moment he broke into a roaring laugh throwing his head back
"Do you enjoy this?" Hy muttered
"Yes, I enjoy it so much! Come on, don't sulk ... you are more beautiful when you smile, you know"
He grabbed his hand, drawing him to him, but Hy lost his balance and poured the glass he was holding onto Reve
" Sorry, sorry! I haven't done it on purpose!" Hy said upset
"Don't worry it's just a shirt!"
"But you're all wet! How can I fix it ...? "
"Take it easy! ... I go to the bathroom for a moment to settle down ... "
" I'll come too! "
Hy followed Reve into the bathroom without saying anything more.
Once in the bathroom, Reve took off his shirt and remained shirtless.
Hy watched Reve as he tried to remove the stain from his shirt for good. His eyes landed for the second time on his back ... on the tattoo ... he really looked like a fiery angel with those wings ... he ran his index finger along those unknown words imprinted between his wings like a brand of fire
"You must be wondering what 'is it written true? "
"How do you know"
Reve turned
"Simple intuition ..."
"So… what's it written?" Hy asked impatiently
"E DIVENTI UN INVASIONE, TI ASPETTERò LA NOTTE ETERNA MIA OSSESSIONE"
"That is?"
"It means that I was waiting for you, that I have always waited for you and I will always wait for you"
He grabbed him again, ran her fingers over his face, looking at him, stroking him, buried his hands in his hair before sinking into a kiss.
A kiss as sweet as honey at first, then more and more passionate like a fire that blazes and burns everything in its path ... They both let themselves be overwhelmed in that whirlwind of sensations their hearts were full of, emotions they had until then relegated to the most hidden corner of their hearts, but which could no longer be contained.
Everything in life has a meaning…. we try to give an explanation to everything, or at least we try to find a reason for everything ... this to be in control of everything ... to have our life under control and not only
... BUT ...
But there are some things that escape reason, to control because for these things you don't need to give an explanation, you don't need a "Why"… love is one of those things… the most important… because… because it itself is the answer.