Chapter 15° "vibrations"

Vibration is a mechanical oscillation around a point of equilibrium; it can be of various types: periodic or random ... it may be desired, in some cases, but more often it is UNWANTED

"I thought by now everyone knew that I hardly ever read messages ... what a drag ... why there's still someone who insists on sending them to me ... what a drag"

Hy reluctantly took the phone out of his jacket

"Um ... it's Tip ... who will ever want ..."

Hy's mood in the last few days had worsened a lot, he was extremely nervous, damn frustrated, everything bothered him and he didn't smile anymore. He easily lost control over even the most mundane things.

He was more taciturn than usual, in those days he didn't listen to anyone, he didn't let anyone advise him, not even his mother and Tip, who at that point were seriously worried about him and for this they tried to help him by giving him advice, in vain, because he answered questions with grumbles or very few words, and these rare pearls seemed more a rebuke than an answer, since the dark tone of his voice seemed abrupt and pithy to everyone, thus implying an unpleasant thing most of the time if it was okay , in fact most of the time he got angry and responded in a decidedly aggressive way.

in conclusion he had become truly intractable, and for this reason no one approached him, unless it was strictly necessary. Even Tip, his best friend since primary school, avoided him like the plague with the excuse of exams. Hy felt a sense of deep dissatisfaction, of utter sadness that he could only explain in one way.

The sky had cleared up after a great rain, an almost shining stillness was reflected in the water-soaked green of the trees in the park opposite. The buildings seemed to glow brighter than usual, and the paths snaked like glittering ribbons between them. The puddles, illuminated, emanated around thousand reflections; the air seemed purer and clearer than usual.

Lan returned to her thoughts, but, despite the sun having returned, great black clouds continued to thicken in her head, since Hy had called her to tell her they had to talk about. She saw him coming from afar, with an expression on his face that he had never seen before, but that did not bode well.

As Hy approached the shouting of the crowd around her seemed to almost rise in a grinding murmur that made her shiver, in fact a few drops of cold sweat beaded on her forehead. Hy sat down next to her, and for a while they were both silent

"Don't you ask me anything ..." Hy said, squinting his eyelids a little, to break that chilling silence

"You've changed a lot Hy ..."

"You too ... especially lately"

"Something wrong, isn't it?" Lan looked at Hy "Here we go again yet?"

Lan waited for a nod from Hy to confirm what she was supposing

"Tell me! You're about to leave me again, aren't you? "

"Yes"

"But why?"

"Because I don't love you anymore"

"No! It doesn't matter to me because I still love you! "

"But I ..."

"And these last days then! Were they that terrible? Tell me the truth? Didn't you like them? "

"No they weren't terrible Lan at all! I spent some very pleasant moments with you, but as if we were two friends who spend some time together, and have fun together "

"You are a coward and a liar! Who do you think I am! You, yes you have made fun of me "

" I'm sorry ... "

"Since when? Since when has this been going on? Since when did you fall in love with him? "

"How do you know?" Hy exclaimed puzzled, opening his eyes wide "Who told you?"

"It doesn't matter who told me!"

"If you know why are you asking me?"

"I had to hear that from you! Because hope is still hope and because people can make mistakes, and therefore I had to hear it from you! " a moan, which became a sigh, twisted her lips

"From the day I accompanied Tip to the orientation ... do you remember? ... when Ipno tore off his shirt ... " Hy looked at Lan

"I'm not normal am I? ... you are thinking about this ... or I'm damn normal because after all I just and only fell in love ... that's all! Any way for what it's worth, I really tried in those days; I had stopped seeing him, I was trying with all my heart not to think about him anymore, I really wanted things to work out with you ... I have always respected you believe me ... "

Lan took a deep breath

" I already understood you know ... you weren't the usual Hy anymore ... To be happy you have to listen to your heart, and your heart no longer beats for me ... also because maybe you literally never loved me ... and I you ... we like each other, for a while our path crossed, but love is quite another thing isn't it?" Lan whispered with a smile

... Hy just nodded...

It was so true!

The message was lapidary ... two simple words ...

"he's back"

... These two simple words changed not only Hy's day, but above all his mood

"What the hell is he saying"

Hy thought more and more irritated as he clicked on the photo attached to the message to the synthetic and enigmatic quantum.

The photograph was a photo of Reve walking through the entrance to the fine arts department ... The phone almost fell out of his hands

... For a moment his heart stopped beating ...

The blood drained from his head, the world around him settled down. darkened, only for a few moments, and then returned to shine as the heart returned to beat.

Without realizing it he began to run faster and faster to the fine arts department where Tip was waiting for him.

"Where is he?"

"I knew you would run here immediately" smiled Tip, more and more amused as he watched his friend arrive all out of breath

"Where is it, tell me? I need... I need to see it now! I need to talk to him! "

Hy insisted between a breathlessness and the other as he recovered from the mad rush

"Well, let's hear what do you want to talk to him about? ... Have you thought about it ... this time you are really convinced, because honestly said I don't recognize you anymore ... than, what will you tell him? " asked Tip almost with fear

"I ... I ... I don't know ... I really don't know ... in the last few days I have imagined hundreds of thousands of times what I could have told him if I had met him, but everything that came to my mind it seemed so stupid, so trivial, so unsuitable... the only thing I know for sure is that I can't stay a minute longer without him! So tell me where he is if you know! "

"Uhm ... In that case I heard him tell Ipno that he was going to practice with the violin for an hour, so I suppose he's in one of the music rooms ..."

Tip didn't have time to finish the sentence that Hy he had already run away

"What a fool he is! He doesn't even know where the music rooms are... where the hell does he think he's going" he smiled amused.

"Lying close to you, feeling your heart beating and I'm wondering what you're dreaming wondering if it's me you're seeing then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together and I just want to stay with you in this moment forever forever and ever"

Reve never saw us again and threw the bow against the wall after yet another discordant note

"It's not possible... possible that I will no longer be able to play a song that I used to play with my eyes closed! Spoiled baby shit! Why are you able to affect my life so much?! Why?! Why do I keep thinking about you!? After all you've done to me ... or you haven't! It's not possible that when I wasn't here, as soon as I go outside, I always looked around with the corner of my eye in the hope of seeing you suddenly emerge around the corner ... "

"I don't want to close my eyes I don't want to fall asleep 'Cause I'd miss you baby and I don't want to miss a thing 'Cause even when I dream of you the sweetest dream will never do I'd still miss you baby and I don't want to miss a thing"

Yes, this song was usually very good for him, it had always been a song that was congenial to him because, before playing it his own, he had made it his own in his heart, perhaps because certain songs come from one heart and are directed to another heart. .... Perhaps because just a heart can understand them ... especially a heart wounded like his!

Reve sat down, put his hands in his hair

... the room fell into an almost surreal silence ...

BUT in this silence his thoughts made even more noise ... And Reve hated any kind of noise even that of his thoughts ... In this syncopated silence the sound that the door made as Hy came in all out of breath reached Reve's sensitive ears like a deafening rumble of thunder.

Reve blinked, almost as if he was waking from a dream, frowned when he saw Hy and despite his young age his lips curled in a bitter crease. He stared at him intently for a few seconds, after which his face took on a serious expression, and when he felt that he would soon take over if he kept looking at him, he quickly turned away.

"What do you want?! Now I have no time to waste! Go away" said in the most contemptuous way he could

He got up and took a few steps he bent down to pick up the bow

"I ... I ..." Hy muttered stammering

He had never been so talkative, but until he met Reve, he knew how and when to answer and what to say in whatever situation he found himself. Stuttering then didn't even know what it meant, it was something that just didn't belong to him, at least, until that damned day

... Reve had really fascinated him ...

Since he had met him all his certainties had collapsed ...

He was like the only survivor of a devastating earthquake that completely razed an entire city to the ground ... nothing, there was absolutely nothing left ... it's like Reve disarmed him, and that made him damn insecure and Hy usually didn't know what to do or what he didn't like saying at all

... BUT this time he felt that it was different it was as if getting lost was a sweet shipwreck

"Have you by chance gone deaf? I told you I don't have time to waste especially with you! If you have nothing important to say you can go away! In fact, do a good thing, don't tell me anything, even if it were a matter of life or death! "

Continued Reve visibly angry and after picking up the bow he pointed it towards the door so that he understood better where the exit was

"Go away and disappear from my life once and for all!"

"No" Hy whispered just

"What did you say?"

"I said no! I can't and I don't want to "replied Hy, marveling at his courage, firmly grabbing the bow and pulling Reve to him

"Leave me!"

"No"

"I told you to leave me!"

"No, I don't want to let you go anymore," Hy insisted looking Reve straight in the eye

"Why then?"

"Because I love you ... I missed you so much, I don't want to feel like that anymore, I don't want to miss you so much anymore ... without you I can't breathe, I felt like I was suffocating! The idea of not being able to see you, of not being able to hear you play the violin anymore and not being able to kiss you anymore ... it literally drives me crazy! "

Reve looked at Hy in disbelief.

"Are you sure? I have already told you that I have no time and above all I don't want to keep up with the whims of a child ... Love is a serious thing ... playing with the feelings of others is one of the most ignoble things you can do ... for these reasons I ask you: are you really sure? No second thoughts then?!"

Hy's heart began to pound in his chest, Reve was so close that he could feel his heartbeat and the sweet scent of his body. Hy had never felt such intense desire in his entire life. Without realizing it he took his face in his hands, his lips were so sweet that he could not help but kiss them.

After a moment of resistance, he felt Reve's mouth open, and then he felt an almost ecstatic sensation, something he could not explain except with a single word

... LOVE ...

Reve felt him wince when, after a moment of hesitation, he surrendered to that kiss of him, he saw his eyes widening full of amazement, as if he had finally understood what he really wanted, a smile of happiness spread over his face.

For a moment they broke away and Reve saw some blush rising on Hy's cheeks, smiled softly holding him close, hugging him

"Now I'm sure ... I really was even before ... I've always been ... always since the first time I saw you ... but the problem is that so far I haven't had the courage to admit it, especially to myself ... and I didn't have the courage for my actions ... but now I don't care about any of this anymore, because I don't want to and I couldn't do without you, because you are and have always been my leading thought, a thought so powerful but so sweet at the same time that it dominates everything about me: my body, my mind, my heart, my soul ... "

Reve looked at Hy, Hy's lips moving, he couldn't help but smile, the desire for him that he had relegated to the bottom of his soul squeezed his heart tightly, lifted his chin slightly and without waiting for Hy to finish to speak kissed him again

"Ti amo me too "

"Me too what?" Hy asked with wide eyes "Me too what !?"

Reve smiled, this time amused

"I guess if you want to be my boyfriend you will have to learn some Italian... if you want to understand what I'm telling you ..." Reve replied, rubbing his hair

"But I ... but you ... Thai ..." whisper Hy

Reve burst out in a roaring laugh seeing Hy's increasingly shocked face

"Okay baby ... I love you so much too" he took his face in his hands and kissed him passionately.