Chapter 14° “No, you're not wrong”
His mother's smile was like fresh water to a thirsty man ... it comforted him, it calmed his soul, though in part, because for the first time he thought there was nothing wrong with what he was feeling
... Whichever way he wants to call it ...
…FEELING…
…DESIRE…
…LOVE…
Hy was certain of one thing, it was not a simple "crush" as his father had defined it a few days earlier ... let alone a commercial transaction ... of a mere object of exchange of one of those soulless affairs ... And then also if it had been a teenage crush he wanted to live it to the full, as he had never done before, because his heart now commanded him this!
This time he wanted to live his heart! After his mother left her room, he collapsed on the bed exhausted. He had the sensation of being empty inside, but this time, compared to before, the emptiness he felt was not confusing, disorienting or disturbing, he had the feeling, for the first time, that he had taken his life in his hands and could arrange as he wished… in a certain way he felt FREE!
He thought that to be a man, as his father intended, he had to behave like one, and therefore he would have to face, whatever the consequences, Lan once and for all! He should have spoken to her sincerely to tell her that happiness and love are not a bargaining chip, they aren't intended as any ordinary object. Above all, he had to make her understand that you can't force anyone to love, because LOVE is also FREEDOM ... the freedom to love whoever you want because this is the only way to be truly happy
…HAPPINESS…
Happiness, Hy, could only see it now in his heart ... and in his heart, NOW, he saw only Reve ... he saw the first time that those beautiful blue eyes, like two waves had overwhelmed his soul ... he saw his music that had hypnotized his mind ... he saw his lips take possession of his body with disarming ease when, that damned night, they met for the first time his lips trembling with desire ... he spoke her name ... Reve ... flat ... once ... Reve ... one more time ... softly ... Reve ... three times ... biting his lower lip ... and all three times he tasted it as if it were a delicious bit ... he saw only Reve ... with soul ... with mind ... with all the his body!
There was only one thing left to do!
The next morning without wasting time he rushed to the faculty of fine arts and looked for him everywhere, peeked in every classroom, laboratory, in every study room and in all libraries, but it wasn't towards finding him, he seemed to disappear from the face of the land!
Overcoming the confidentiality that distinguished him, he asked everyone he met if they had seen him by chance, but the result did not change ... no one had seen him ... he had really disappeared!? Around lunchtime, after so much searching, he sat down on the entrance steps, dejected, depressed, put his hands in his hair
"But how is it possible that a person can disappear! Yet he seems to have really disappeared ... Is he gone? No, it's not possible…" he thought
Just then Tip passed in front of him
"Tip ... Tip I'm here!" he waved at him
"Hey man… hello what are you doing here? Did we have to meet by chance? " asked Tip rather amazed
"No, don't worry we shouldn't have seen each other ..."
"Ah, ok ... I thought I forgot ... but then why are you here?"
"Here ... I really ... I was looking for Reve"
"Reve? And why were you looking for him?" he asked him
Tip was almost amused, he found it really funny how his closest friend was still trying to deny what was now obvious to anyone, at least anyone who knew him.
"Because I want to talk to him… this time seriously… I looked everywhere, I asked anyone, but he seems to have disappeared! By chance you didn't see it, did you? You know where is he?!"
"Yes, of course I spoke to him the other day, and he told me that he was returning to Italy!"
"In Italy ... return"
He had the impression that his heart was breaking, at that moment he would have given up everything he could to have him there, right in front of him
"It's too late so ... it's over ... I won't see his eyes again, I will no longer listen to the magical sound of his violin ... " Hy thought trembling with fear of having lost the most precious thing that had happened to him in his life
"But he'll be back in about ten days, after the Christmas holidays, apparently, they're celebrating the big in Italy, at least from what I understand", he finished saying after taking a sip of water "What's up bro? Do you feel OK? You are bleached! Come, I'll take you to the infirmary! "
Tip said seriously worried seeing Hy as white as a rag and on the verge of fainting
"No ... there is no need ... I'm fine" Hy murmured just
"But if you're going to faint ... come on let's go!" insisted Tip, seriously worried about his friend, trying, in vain, to pull him by the arm
"It's all your fault!" Hy snapped angrily
"My fault! Why my fault? What did I do to you?"
"You told me that Reve is back in Italy, as if he would never return ... I almost had a heart attack!" "You are the one who immediately jumps to conclusions man! And in any case, you should have resolved this situation a long time ago, in this way you would not have reduced yourself to this pitiful state! Keep drinking a little, so maybe you get better! " said Tip, passing Hy his bottle of water, after he had sat down next to him.
It was getting easier and easier to get what she wanted… and getting what she wanted made Lan happy… being happy was what Lan wanted more than anything in the world!
All smiling, Hy had finally settle down and, as she had expected, had returned to her doing everything she asked him, went into Alen's caffè to quench her thirst because it was really hot ... she should have oozed happiness from all pores, but then because in the depths of her heart she felt a veil of melancholy hovering ... It was as if a grinding had settled on her heart ... It was like a feeling of deep sadness that touched the deepest part of her soul and that didn't make them savor a full happiness just regained ... because ... The important thing was that Hy had returned to her, that they would soon graduate, they would buy a wonderful house that would soon be devastated by two little devils ... in short, she would have the perfect family that everyone would have envied them and everything would have gone the right way ... but then why again that feeling of INCOMPLETENESS, as if something, a very important part was missing to complete that puzzle that already seemed perfect as it was
... WHY ...
"Welcome back, what can I bring you?"
... that voice ...
whose was that voice that made her feel an inexplicable feeling of NOSTALGIA
... that voice that enveloped her heart in a warm embrace, and that made her feel at PEACE
... at peace with herself ... and was not a mere ...
"What can I bring you?"
That question brought Lan back to sad reality. She looked up and her eyes met Iris's, the words she was about to say died in her mouth, because all of a sudden those strange feelings of nostalgia and incompleteness that had tormented her soul a few seconds before had disappeared. ... disappeared when her eyes were lost in those of Iris
"A pineapple juice, thank you" he replied just whispering
"Okay I'll bring it to you now"
After a few moments, but that to Lan seemed an eternity, Iris came back, put the glass down in front of Lan, and, since the place was empty, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, sat down at Lan's table.
"Today I see you much better than last time or am I wrong? "
"No, you're not wrong. Today is much better ... Hy has changed his mind and after a few days he retraced his steps ... he came back to me as I had expected "
The moment she said it Lan felt another strange sensation, she felt, but didn't understand why, that she said something wrong, something she shouldn't have said because somehow, saying it, would have hurt Iris, and that she would never have allowed it, because it would have made her feel sad as if she had hurt herself…
"Hy he came back to me ... "
Those words rang like a deafening noise to Iris's ears, they were like a grind that crushed her heart
"What's happening to me ... why should I be sorry, after all we are just friends ... indeed I should be happy for her ... or maybe not ... but then why do I feel sad, it's strange it's like I'm jealous of Hy, but it's impossible because we're just friends and nothing else "
A thrill, an impulse, the hand moved by itself like enchanted ... as if at that moment it was the heart and not the mind to command her body
"The hand ... take her hand ... go on"
a wince of the heart and Iris's hand moved anxiously to Lan's, the fingers barely touched each other, gently intertwined with each other ...
Iris and Lan looked at each other for a moment only, and in that moment the two hearts beat in unison ... but soon Lan went back to reality, left Iris hand surprised, and ran away in shock and trembling
"I love Hy ... but then why did my heart react like this when Iris took my hand, when she looked at me ... no, it's not possible ... for sure it was because I was hot and then I'm tired ... yes for sure it's because of that ... maybe ... my God what's happening to me ... she's a woman ... Iris is a woman ... no it can't be ... but then why when she looks at me, I'm happy as I have never been in my all life ... not even with Hy ... why "