The diary

"Lia, be cheerful, calm down your mind, let the stress go away and take a deep breath" Dr. Cedric gestured to show me how to take a deep breath and exhale it, "and open your eyes."

I opened my eyes to see Dr. Cedric smiling at me as if I gave him his best present on Christmas. I jolt up from the couch and sit upright.

"My head is throbbing Cedric, I feel dizzy, don't you have any meds to make this awful feeling go away ?" keep my head in my palms.

"I told you, that's the easiest way but it has side effects which can harm your brain and moreover, I'm your psychiatrist, your shrink, prescribing meds is not my job and it shouldn't be any psychiatrist's job." He winked an eye at me, I rolled mine "Come on Lia and did you forget tomorrow you are going to The University of Chicago. Remember this time not to trouble yourself with another guy's emotion."

"Cedric, I never trouble myself, it's just things that happen and I don't seem to handle them perfectly, and everytime I try to believe in someone, they tear me like hell in the end." I glare at him. He raises his arms to let me know that he surrenders.

"Lia, this time let's make some changes, don't believe in 'someone' which means some guy. Try to believe in God" He smirked at me.

"Cedric, seriously?" I rolled my eyes while raising my voice. He knows I don't believe in God. But he, like the dick he is, always tries to make me crazy.

"Calm down, remember you are in my office and just for once try to believe in God. Look, you believe me that's why you always end up here, no matter whatever happens to you" He crossed his arms in front of him.

"I always end up here because I don't have anyone. You know me, and that's why I always come to you for getting a solution you asshole." I realised I yelled at him, so I softened my voice, "Look, I'm sorry that you felt I always end up here to burden you but—" I was cut off by a phone call from him.

"Yes honey? How can I help you?— Oh no, I'll bring the gifts for kids—Oh yeah, sure sure—Love you too hun!" He hung up turning his attention to me.

"I know Amelia called you, I'm leaving anyway. Give my love to your kids. At least they are not like their father. Bye" I turn to the exit of his office.

I hear him say "Lia go and get laid, someone needs to screw your brains."

I chuckle at the thought while I shouted to him "Not so soon, my fucking brains cost a little expensive."

*****

I drove back to my apartment, unlocked it, made a coffee for myself and ended up with my diary. Today I don't want to stock up on you with my shadows and horrible stories, dear diary. I thought to myself. I honoured my diary with my thoughts by writing:

Dear Piano,

If I tell you that Love at First Sight happens, will you believe me? But it's true. It was my aunt who brought you to me, remember? I never told you that I was a virgin before you bumped into my life, I guess I never really had a chance to tell you. I never laid my eyes on any instrument except you.

You bewitched me like no one ever did or will do. Remember the first time I touched you? You closed your eyes and so was i. That's the very first time I heard your moan, you moaned for me. I was on the epitome that day. I couldn't help but listen to you moaning the way I was touching you.

Since that day I never could stop thinking about you, I couldn't sleep that night. So I left my bed just to come near you. I saw how my aunt was touching you, I couldn't bear that for some reason and I guess it was Love. I asked my aunt to leave me alone with You dear.

I touched you with the gentlest touch possible and the sounds you made, caused me to moan your name. You were purring when I tried to play on your black, shiny keys, isn't that obvious that you felt the same as I did then?

I started to sing along with you that night, You and I, just me and you. I caressed each key of yours both black and white and made you feel wanted and You gave yourself to me.

Do you remember how we stayed up all night long, lay awake disturbing our neighbors with our moans as we touched each other? I really never get enough of you. So many sleepless nights we spent together in our little hallway. At all times, when I used to sit on your lap and you moaned in a way only I can do.

I left my high school, just to spend more time with you at my home. You used to drive me crazy by knowing the exact sound according to my mood. You were melancholic sometimes, while other bach at times. But whatever and however you were, You were mine, You are mine!

I'll never forgive my dead aunt Who threw you out on the garbage just to send me to high school again. She broke you, she broke me. Now I just have pieces of your hearts in the form of your black and white keys.

I miss you, Love you.

B. Cooper

I haven't realised that I was crying until I felt my cheeks soaking from the tears. I closed my diary and tossed it back into the drawer.

I really miss my piano. I really miss how my life was before, before that, when I lived in Pennsylvania. I wish I could relive all over again.

Slowly I fell asleep hoping to see no nightmares.

I miss you!