Second part

Strangely, I started to feel in those moments, I had always thought about the difficult situations we had gone through in our family, but hearing my mother was a different feeling.

I was too young to understand the weight of life, but at the same time too old to notice the sadness that always hung in my mother's eyes.

I could no longer concentrate on the lessons, waves of different thoughts came to mind, not good childhood memories that I will hardly forget.

Dinner had arrived and, like every night, we sat down at the milky table, whose chairs made noise every time someone sat down.

Sometimes I looked at mom, sometimes dad, how many other things could they still hide?

Their failed marriage did not take long to understand and for me as a child it had negatively affected me.

I got up from the table and went into the room where I slept, where there was nothing but a sofa and an old wardrobe.

-Is fine ?? ..- it was the mother, who asked me with a soft voice as she leaned her head towards the door.

-I don't know, I want to cry but for no reason ..- I replied and turned my back away.

-What have you got, were you shocked by what I told you ?! ..- asked me questions again, and came to sit on my feet.

-Why are we such an unhappy family? Why don't I have a sister or a brother ??! ..- the tears began to flow down my face.

-My uncle, I did my best not to miss anything, but some things are not in my hands. I never wanted you to have a childhood like mine, forgive me if I couldn't be a mother to you that you wanted. But just say it. me something, why exactly did you ask me about my past today? ..- she started crying just like me. -I don't remember much, but some of your fights with my father are rooted in my head and it happens that sometimes when you scream they seem to me as if they are repeated. I am an older mother, I can know and analyze some things better, maybe you still consider me a child but I'm not like that, I'm not a mother ..- and I threw you into her arms, the centrifuge of feelings had blocked me.

Although many events had left me traumatized, I did not want to repeat it again, I still remember with pain my father's blows on his body, their screams shaking the foundations, my mother's tears over my head when I fell asleep, l 'anxious about her when dad was late because he was out for the nightlife he knew full well that her return and drunken state would be fatal.

Just as my mother wasn't proud of her father, so I wasn't proud of mine.

I don't remember her ever stroking me, her heavy shadow making her head big and small, our house never teemed with jokes or laughter, and it was empty, just like our inside.

It was the month of December, the first snow had just cleared everything, wherever children were seen crawling with their colleagues in the cold ice, the holidays were approaching.

That night even today when I remember that I tremble all over, I was sitting with my mother watching TV when suddenly the door knocks, a voice shouted loudly ...

- Part 4

Maybe 1 day ...

-The day came when they would finally come to live in our house.

Strong emotions had taken me, it would have been a big change for me.

After we said goodbye and ate the lunch I had cooked, I started clearing up while my stepmother and Alba were arranging their clothes, while Dad and Andy, 18, went out into the yard and talked about the livestock business.

I finished the work in the kitchen and went up to the second floor, to the bedrooms.

I wanted to talk to them for a while, but I didn't know what to say, the words blocked me immediately.

• Come Klara, come and help us with things ..- she told me.

As soon as the embarrassment increased, I did not know how to address myself, call him by name, call him aunt ?!

• From now on I will take care of cooking, while when you come back from school you will do other things ..- he continued.

I felt weird, I was used to the same routine in my daily life, I would need some time to get used to it, my stepmother would need me too, she hadn't learned the house yet, how would she manage?

• I don't want to make you angry but I would like to continue doing things inside the house together for a while, and after you have learned everything then it will be in your hands ..- I said lowering my head to the ground.

She let go of her clothes by the hand and with a simple step walked over to me.

• Klara, look at me, I am not your equal, I will become your mother and as long as I am your father's wife this house that is mine from now on, you will get married tomorrow, the day after tomorrow for the new rules that we would apply.

I felt like I was a waitress looking for a job, I didn't need 1 mom like she said, I was old enough and trained by life, young age had nothing to do with my maturity. I shook my head in affirmation and did not speak, I listened to the mother and daughter talking and when they asked me something I answered.

The first few weeks went by with difficulty, I didn't want to stress my father either, he was quite tired of his job, the family grew up and despite the good economy we had we had to continue working properly.

During the day I was very patient, but I was a calm person, I didn't express myself to anyone, and when the night came and everyone was asleep I would cry at the window and talk to the sky, the moon seemed to be like my mother.

Soon school started, things would get even more complicated and this situation plunged me deeper and deeper into my thoughts.

Andy didn't like college, but neither did his job.

He didn't like the village life, the only thing he wanted was the nightlife with his friends, during the behar many times you came back drunk late.

Ms. Tefta, my stepmother was the only one who could scold him, my father had the same personality as me, he didn't intervene where he shouldn't, but tried to justify the boy who was young and would be hospitalized in time .

But this did not happen, the situation was slowly spiraling out of control and patience was limited. -Part 5

Maybe 1 day ...

-And the first quarrels between my father and Mrs. Tefta immediately became part of our daily life.

My father has changed a lot, he no longer spent time with me, in the evening he did not come to my room to ask me how I spent the day, we were no longer going together to my mother's grave, I was slowly losing her too.

I know, now you will think that for his happiness I sacrificed mine or not?

You are right, but he was everything to me, he was not just 1 father, but also 1 mother, friend, brother, I had not lacked anything until that day because every time I found 1 part in him.

I often blamed myself, thought about the good and ended up looking sadly into his eyes.

One day, as I was feeding the cattle in the stable, my father came and told me;

• Clara I want to talk about something.

• Of course, I also wanted to talk to you dad ..- I answered you with a smile on my face, I thought he felt bad about the situation at home and I wanted us to remain a bit separated as before, but he continued. .

• Now you know that things are not going well here, we have more losses than gains, so Tefta and I have decided to move to the city, I will emigrate and after a while I will take Andin.

In those moments the world collapsed at my feet, I didn't want to hear him, I didn't want to believe his words at all, my face had completely changed.

• Clara, are you okay? ..- he asked me again.

• I want to be alone for a while ..- I replied with 1 ton of height.

I opened the door and ran like crazy, I couldn't catch my breath, I didn't have enough oxygen, I was suffocating inside.

I had grown up in that land, I loved every stone of it, my mother's memories were in that house, how could my father turn into another man in such a short time?

What was happening to us?

But even though I spoke I didn't get 1 answer, I could only hear the strong wind blowing and watched the flowers on his grave shaking left and right.

How much I wanted to dig the ground that for so many years shook his body, my heart had split in two, my mother was dead and I had lost my father alive, the feeling of loneliness took me.

I came home and lay directly on the bed, I heard my name had been called once for dinner but I didn't have the power to answer, I just wanted to close my eyes and walk into the dream world.

Even though it was a one-dimensional lie, it was the only way to get away from the environment where the pressure prevailed.

In the morning, the sound of Alba's wardrobe woke me up, she was getting ready for....

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