Ok, so the first college party I go to my former best-friend slightly humiliates me in front of my childhood crush, and then I'm asked out on a date by a really cute guy, but, it turns out that he's actually an angel and him and I are destined to meet and be lovers every one hundred years, and now the actual Devil is out to get us and I'm not sure how to process any of this.
And I bled through my favorite jeans this morning.