Counseling and Confusion

Tenth Session Transcript

K: I just don’t know. I know mom is supposed to be sending my stuff, but she has been so busy at work that it hasn’t even been packed yet.

DV: Are we talking about your mom today?

K: No, it’s still about me. I meant I need to read my diaries, look at my picture albums and stuff… words aren’t enough. Not that I get many of those either.

DV: What do you mean?

K: I mean since last week Reese, Carrie and them always have something infinitely pressing to do or say when I ask them certain questions. [sigh] As soon as I ask them about Gary, they clam up.

DV: Why don’t you ask him?

K: And what, indicate that I still don’t remember anything about him? Don’t you think that would be rather insensitive?

DV: You seem to care about him.

K: Well, he’s cool. Very funny, very considerate. He’s my best friend’s brother so there has to be some getting along going on.

DV: Kristina, what gives? You have been grousing about the fact that he is distant and aloof- about how he is nice to you only when he has to be and then he pretends like you don’t exist when you are with company.

K: Yeah, well… Sometimes he acts weird, but maybe he’s got his own problems. Generally speaking, he’s a cool dude.

DV: You’re blushing, Kristina

K: [laughs] if someone came to you every night and made you feel like the top of the world, would you hate them or try and understand them?

DV: I don’t think I follow.

K: okay. Remember that dream I had after the weekend trip?

DV: Yes.

K: Well, I have been having similar ones almost every night. I have the occasional nightmare but his face is no longer associated with the fear I feel

DV: I’m glad to hear that, but what are you saying exactly?

K: Well… I don’t think I know exactly. I- really, really think he’s great.

DV: Mhm

K: Is that all? Mhm? You’re not going to say something else?

DV: I can’t make your conclusions for you, dear

K: But you can say more than ‘mhm’!

DV: [sigh] Kris. Just say what you feel. Don’t run away from your own happiness. I can’t say, but if something is happening between the two of you, you need to face it. By not facing it, you’re causing two people to hurt all over again. Not one, two.

[silence]

K: [sighs] I have to go now. I will think about what you said.

DV: Do more than think about it. Make a decision and act on it. You need to start living again.

K: Right. Bye.

****

“Dearly beloved,” Louisa said, “thanks so much for coming through to have fun with us! I’m glad Aunt Deidre and her delicious husband-” she raised her glass to the Hawkins’ “-could join us. They add an extra touch of class to the whole do. Basically we just wanted to floss with our new house. Since Gary and Luke did, we figured why the hell not?”

Everyone laughed. Greg and Louisa had agreed with Ronda and Gavin- and subsequently Sandra- to get a bigger house off campus for their last year at school. Since Louisa and Gavin were Kris’s cousins and their own parents couldn’t make it from Australia, she’d invited her next of kin to check out and approve the residence.

“So,” Louisa continued, “feel free to roam. Yes, there are five bedrooms, Aunt D… Please appreciate and bask in the creativity that is mine.” Sandra threw a cushion at her for that because they had done all the decorating together.

The ladies were called together for a tour, while the guys gravitated toward the pool deck. Kris missed the kitchen leg of the tour to stay behind and talk to her mother and father.

“God, I’ve missed you so much,” she told them, squeezing her dad around the middle.

“And we’ve missed you,” her dad said.

“You don’t reply half my emails,” Deidre complained.

Kris smiled, “That’s because I’m fine! Did you bring my stuff?”

“We sent it to the campus house.”

“Thank you.”

“But really, Kristina, how are you? Have you been coping?”

“Dad! I’ve been okay. Dr. Versha’s helped me with my dreams-”

“Do you still blame Gary?” her mother interrupted.

“Blame him for what?”

“Well, the way you described your dreams to me made it sound like you thought he was the culprit.”

“Well, now I know that he’s not,” Kris said simply.

Relief was evident in their expressions and Kris frowned. “Just how close to Gary was I?”

Before they could even attempt to deflect the question, the topic of their conversation called out to them.

“Deidre, Jack!”

“Gary, my dear, how are you?” Deidre kissed him.

Jack shook his hand with a grin which was nearly conspiratorial in Kris’s view.

“I’m great, considering all things. How’s Paris?”

“Magnificent as ever!”

Jack frowned. “What happened to your hand?”

Gary glanced at his bandaged hand. “Had a little accident, I’m fine.”

“An accident? Again? You’ve been through so much-” Jack broke off with an apologetic smile at Gary, then he glanced at his daughter who was looking at all of them oddly. He spoke to her and her mother next. “Why don’t you ladies go catch up and enjoy the guided tour, hm?”

“Good idea. Baby, let’s go.”

Kris followed her mother readily, afraid to stick her foot in it with Gary around.