Chapter 138: What If (I) - A Different Path

Snow fell slowly to the ground and the leaves of the trees started to freeze, it was a spectacle to see in the eye but at the same time, there was a hidden creepiness lurking on the snow.

My breath was fast and heavy, I could taste the metallic taste of my blood gushing out of my mouth, and my vision is already starting to blur and my only limb left is already feeling numb.

I've lost a ton of blood already it feels amazing that I'm still awake, any normal person would already be dead or unconscious if they lost this much blood, but my idiotic self is too stubborn to die yet.

"Oh... How fantastic... I apologize for truly underestimating your little one." She bowed on her knees apologetically and she started crying as she keep saying "forgive me."

"Hehe... See now? This is the strength of Haruki Hotaru *Cough*" I snickered, still deeply afraid of her. "Now Leviathan, what do you say now? What do you think of the current King of Hell?"

My confidence is low but at the same time, there's still something left in there for me to speak about myself.

Leviathan stopped and stared at me, she has this complex emotion written on her face, but knowing her I know what it was.

"Little one, your blood has dropped to the point of dying, yet why? Why do you still have that confidence on your face?"

"Who knows? I may be weak but when it comes to speaking with no shame, I'm on the top of my league." I gave her a prideful smirk and she stared at me speechless at what she saw.

What am I even doing? I let my pride get the better of me, but the good thing is Leviathan isn't the type to let others' feelings get to her.

"Oh, how truly admirable little one! You're will to survive is magnificent, no man has ever had the same will like you. All people have is their face of fear yet you conquered that same fear they felt and changed it with pride, Lucifer shall suffer later from my wrath!"

"Uhmm please don't do that..." Poor Lucifer, even as strong as he is I can imagine him now crawling in fear to escape from Leviathan.

"Oh how charming to see someone so courageous and strong! Now I could see how little Luna has fallen for you, it makes me happy to see someone in this Universe still having a strong front"

Bring the complement more, please! Just hearing the Demon of Envy complimenting me is enough to make my pride grow more and more.

"Truly I wish anyone could be like you, I wish anyone who's dead and alive should learn from you, I hope that I, Leviathan can learn a thing from you little one! Your courage and will has given me hope for this world, I wish I could be like you when I was still alive, but fortune has tortured my life to a great amount that I lost count! Oh how I... Envy you..."

My eyes widened and my heart started beating fast, hearing what she said made me realize something.

No matter what I do, no matter what I answer, in the end, the Demon of Envy holds such deep jealousy toward anyone she sees. No matter what it may be whether animal or humanoid beings, even the Gods she sees everything to be superior to her, which is why the title of the General of Envy still stood present to this day.

None can escape her envy, dead or alive she's still the embodiment of envy itself. The second-generation General of Envy, mother of Akemi Leviathan and Ryou Behemoth- Eira Leviathan and her daughter the current General of Envy Akemi Leviathan stood no chance in a battle of jealousy against the real queen of Envy.

Now I can see why... This feeling of fear wasn't meant for me to be afraid of her, but for her to show how much she envies my entire existence.

"Oh how I envy you little one, your courage to live on is magnificent, oh how I would like to have it."

"Levia-" I stopped, not because of fear of her jealousy but something else, it's that I couldn't speak anymore.

My mouth wasn't covered with ice either, but instead, it has something to do with my body that made me stop talking.

What's weird is that I couldn't feel the cold air anymore, nor did the frozen part of my body feels cold too, nonetheless it was still creepy that I couldn't move my body.

Yes, creepy... It's creepy that I can't move my body anymore, seeing it right now my entire body was frozen solid, it doesn't look like it's a part of someone's life but instead, it looks like a beautifully shaved sculpture.

How do know this? It was easy, all along it was easy... It's because right in front of me is my body- frozen like a statue and the head wasn't there.

Despite my sense of touch having been destroyed, I knew that Leviathan was holding my head and she was hugging it tightly.

I saw a relieved smile on her face and a single tear fell in her eyes. "Goodbye, Haruki Hotaru."

For the first time, this was the first time she called me by my name, at first I was confused why she called me 'little one', but seeing this now I fully understood why she did.

It wasn't because she was older or more powerful than me, but it shows that she envies me a lot. By calling me 'little one' she's underestimating me, because by doing so can relieve her jealousy.

How can I be stupid? Why didn't I notice it in the first place? When I first met her, I thought that she just thinks I'm weak, but that was a stupid thought, after all, how can someone who's constantly envious of someone have the audacity to think she's above everyone else?

No matter how much I think about it, I should've known that she was envious of me during that day because if I did I would've known that Leviathan wasn't an ally, but instead an enemy.

If only I was just that smart then I would've been with Luna and the others right now, I would've fought alongside them right now, but fate is cruel.

My luck is nothing but a lie, everything I do is always a factor to my unluckiness, hence why I'm here completely separated from my body and us about to die.

If only I would've been smarter and stronger, if only I could stand beside my friends, then I, Haruki Hotaru would still remain beside them.

Goodbye, everyone... In the end, I can't stand beside all of you...

***

"Argh! What the h*ck?!" I woke up, out of breath and trembling, my body feels cold and my heart was beating fast. "Did I have a nightmare of some sort?"

I was confused, my head hurts but it didn't bother me because it might be from my bad posture in sleeping. "*Sigh* I seriously need to get help, I've been having nightmares since I turned 18."

Nightmares, that's right... I remember all of my nightmares clear as day, but for some reason, I can't remember my nightmare today. When I think about it my head starts to hurt and everything is blurry, not only that but I feel like puking every time I try to recall my previous nightmares.

"Is this even normal? I really should get a therapist..."

I heaved out a heavy sigh just to release some stress from my nightmare, then I slapped my face to wake myself more. "Okay, now's not the time to think of silly things, today is the grand release of the greatest game of all time! Hell's Gate!"

My body jumped in joy from excitement, I quickly went to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. "Yeah, looking good Haruki Mimasaka!"

The bathroom became silent, the only thing I could hear is the running water from the faucet, I silently gazed at the mirror without knowing why I'm doing it.

What am I doing? Just staring at myself in the mirror feels a bit nostalgic, I feel like I had done this before somewhere to relieve my pain from something else, is thin what they call deja vu?

I don't know why, but just looking at my reflection is giving me a headache, it wasn't a normal headache but something more than that. Without noticing it I started to breathe rapidly, my heart is starting to panic and my vision started to see one of those errors found in television.

Every time it appears that's when I started to feel dizzy, not only that but I feel like puking for some reason. "What is this- Blurgh!" I couldn't hold onto it anymore and I started puking.

"What the hell..." I looked at the mirror, out of breath. "Am I gonna die?"

That's the first thing I questioned myself, usually, in a situation like this it's when the main character goes face to face with an evil spirit or when you started to see a vision of the future or some alternate timeline.

Whatever it is I hope it's not one of those two, because the protagonist of stories like those tends to die in the end, and I don't want that.

"But anyway..." It looks like my business has finally worn off after puking, so I don't have the time to stay here in the toilet to wait for another weird vision.

I locked the bathroom and out a note in there to remind myself to not go there for a bit, because if this is one of those stereotypical sci-fi or horror films- I know that seeing errors on television means death.

"Okay, Homura and Asahi are now probably waiting for me, so let's go!"

For the first time in a long time, I stepped outside of my apartment, ever since my adoptive parents died I've become a shameless neet.

Homura Suzuki and Asahi Kishimoto who has been my best friend are ever since kindergarten has helped me, not only that but both of their parents have been helping me when it comes to money and what I need.

This is why I'm truly grateful for meeting wonderful people like them and seeing them act like that, not for their sake but for someone else has given me hope that I needed to change.

"I just can't stay like this, but I'm still afraid..." For now let's handle this slow and steady, just thinking about going to school for who knows how long now is giving me a panic attack.

Not only that but if I go back to school I have to attend my first year of high school, nothing wrong with that but I'm already 18 years old, hence why attending high school is gonna be embarrassing and I might get bullied.

And my intelligence and immaturity are the problems for me to skip a grade, the only books I've read are mangas and light novels, in terms of actual books the only thing I've read is old history books that my adoptive parents had.

I heaved a heavy high and a single tear fell in my eyes. "I'll just ask Homura or Asahi to help me then because there's no way I'll go to high school at this age... Wait, now's not the time! The two are probably waiting for me!"

I ran immediately as fast as I can to the train station, the three of us live here in Sendai so going to Tokyo would take us 2 hours to get there, so I can't be late and get separated from the other two.

It has been 5 minutes already and I was already out of breath, and right now I was on my knees trying to catch my breath as fast as I can. "D*mmit! *Pant!* If only I exercised this wouldn't have happened! And I can't take a taxi because it's expensive!"

I took a rest for about three minutes and I got back to my feet, though I'm sweating profusely and still out of breath; I needed to go to the train station stat, so at least having a breather is good for now.

"Now time to head off-"

Beep! Beep!

I looked at where the sound was coming from and saw a truck losing control, on the road was a little girl crossing the street and wasn't running to get to safety.

My body froze seeing what was gonna unfold in front of me, like before in the bathroom I started to see the same error-like screen appearing.

Not only that but my heart was already beating very fast, my body started to shake and I fell to my knees from fear.

Not fear of seeing a child die but a weird kind of fear, more like something was pressuring me, which cause my legs to lose their strength.

The truck was already close but the child was still on the road, I started to panic more when I saw this, but when I tried to run to save her but I couldn't move my legs. "Now's not the time to panic Haruki! Stand up and save her!" I shouted in agony.

Beep! Beep! The truck closes in on the girl and the girl finally notices it, but due to being frozen in fear, she couldn't move.

The truck was facing close to the girl and seeing this it feels like time slowed down, I stared at the truck closing into the girl, my body froze and my eyes widened.

My mouth started shaking and without noticing it, I shouted. "Ayame!"