Tade and Shade. 1964-1980

In the year 1964, Omotade and Folashade were born six months apart, in a small village in the western part of Nigeria.

Their fathers who were best friends then made a promise to get their kids married to each other when they come of age, to further unite the two families.

The two children grew from infants who ran around their father's compound half-clad to playmates that built huts from the sand. They wrestled, hunt giant pouched rats, climbed trees and mountains together; forming friendship bonds that were way stronger than what their parents had.

The villagers had celebrated many festivals and ceremonies, but the most important of these ceremonies was their daughters' rite of passage ceremony. Rite of passage was always celebrated in a big way when a girl turned sixteen after she was successfully circumcised, marking her transition from childhood to womanhood.

Two weeks to Shade's sixteenth birthday, their parents called a meeting to happily informed the two friends that they would be getting engaged to each other on the day of Shade's rite of passage ceremony.

''Getting engaged to each other!?'' They chorused, stared at each other unbelievably, and then they suddenly burst out laughing derisively, thinking it was all a joke.

But that wasn't the response their parents were expecting. They expected happiness, and some coy smiles maybe, but certainly not mockery laughter. Their parents gave each other a questioning look of 'what has gotten over these children?'

"Did we say something funny?" Tade's father asked seriously

"Father, but weren't you joking?" Tade asked. The smile on his face faltered when he saw the seriousness written all over his father's face "You weren't truly expecting us to get married or were you?" He cautiously asked, already scared of the answer he was sure his father would give.

"Was it unheard of? You both are friends already; so why not?"

"But father! Folashade is like Maria to me!" Tade said stressing his own sister's name, maybe his father would understand what he was saying. "She's like my blood sister! I certainly don't have that kind of feelings for her."

"Yes, father! The fact that we're friends does not mean we're attracted to each other! We're just like siblings nothing more." Shade added, looking towards her own parents.

"That's even better dear because you won't find it difficult to love each other as husband and wife" Tade's father replied to her with a smile.

"Father, it seems you don't understand what we're saying, we can't mar... Shade was explaining, looking towards Tade's father before she was interrupted by her own father.

"Enough already! Stop your whining like *Egbere!" Her father's voice boomed, startling everyone "What do you know about attraction between males and females ehn!? We, your parents didn't have the luxury of getting to know each other like you both already did each other... but look at us now, aren't we living in peace?!"

'You called what you did to my mother living in peace!?' Shade screamed in her head. She dare not say her thought out unless she was ready to go meet her maker.

"But father, we're not..." She wanted to plead with him but was interrupted again.

"It's either you engage Tade or be prepared to get married to Akin, Chief Otun's son on the day of your rite of passage." Her father declared and immediately stood up.

"It is only a bastard that would make a promise and won't come through with it, and I Adebisi..." He beat on his own chest proudly before continuing "...I am my father's son! I want an answer from both of you tonight." That's the kind of father she had, he would command and expect everybody to obey... And obey you would either you like it or not.

He left then, closely followed by his friend who also appeared a little bit shocked by what he said, and their wives who had no say at all in any form of decision making. The man he threatened to marry her to was a sadist who had lost three wives already, all to domestic violence.

Tade and Shade both sat in silence for some minutes, left to each other's thoughts.

"Folashade?..." Tade called softly, breaking the silence

"He said he would marry me off to Akin, knowing quite well he is a sadist... How could he threatened me with that animal?"

"That was not a threat Shade. You know your father will do as he had said if just to prove a point to you"

"Then what are we going to do? Should we run away?"

"Run away to where? Besides, Is the thought of marrying me that bad? Am I not handsome enough" He joked, an eyebrow raised flirtingly.

"Tade, this is not the time to joke around, please. Please be serious."

"Yeah, wrong time to joke. I'm sorry."

Shade sighed heavily "What are we going to do?"

"Let's just do as they say"

"What!? Tade are you crazy!? You and I should get married or what did I just hear you say?" She asked angrily

"Would you rather he marry you off to that murderer then?" He looked at her with persuasion, pleading with his eyes, for her to see reason.

"No!" Shade replied softly and sighed deeply again. She would rather marry Tade who she knows even though she didn't love him than a mad man like Akin

***

Shade turned sixteen on September 15, 1980. The atmosphere in her house had not been this joyous in a very long time. Her father had never been this happy too. He was grinning from ear to ear with a cup of palm wine in his hand, while he moved to Haruna Ishola's music that was playing loudly from the vinyl record player.

Her mother with the help of the neighborhood women was cooking in the backyard for the large guests that would be coming for her engagement that morning and later her rite of passage ceremony which would take place after her circumcision.

Shade was happy too. Her father was not cursing everybody like he usually does and her mother was not moving around like someone who was tired of living.

Since the villagers considered the rite of passage ceremony as the most important ceremony in a girl's life, the two families gathered at her father's compound in the morning for a quick engagement ceremony.

By midday, all the villagers were made aware of Shade's rite of passage ceremony when she and her entourage danced round the village to music played by professional talking drummers.

After her rite of passage dance, Shade was dressed in an all-white outfit and was asked to sit on a stool. She was surrounded by all the women from her's and Tade's family. They all gathered to share their experiences, which was also meant to give her courage. But instead of bravery, the reverse was the case for her.

The only thing her mind grabbed onto from all the talking was...

"...but it was a good pain, so you have to be strong." She didn't hear what was said before that, she only heard the 'good pain' part.

Pain is pain. There was no such thing as a good pain' in her dictionary. Her mind couldn't help but focus on that word 'pain'. Her heart was already slamming against her rib cage out of fear, by the time she was walked down to the circumciser's house.

The following morning, she woke up in the hospital and wished she had stayed dead when she saw her father's deadly face.

"You bastard! Unfortunate child..." He cursed her on and on...

***

*Egbere: In Yoruba mythology, Egbere is a malevolent spirit that inhabits woods and is seen at night.

It is said to be short, owns a (small) mat, and cries all the time.