1983

They started preparing for their wedding when Tade turned nineteen and was about to leave the village for the university to study Agricultural Science.

The dreaded day soon arrived. After the bride's price had been paid and all other marriage rites were completed, the bride was lead to the groom's family home where the rest of the ceremony and celebration would continue.

When Shade arrived at her husband's family home, her feet were first washed according to tradition by the women in the family. She was then taken to a room where the couple was expected to consummate their marriage, while their families and guests would wait outside to know if the bride was a virgin or if she would be sent back to her parent's house in disgrace.

Shade entered the room and saw Tade was already waiting for her looking forlorn. He was sitting on the bed which was the only furniture in the room. The bed had a pure white bed sheet spread on it.

Shade stood transfixed by the door for what seemed to be a long time, looking with hatred at the white bed sheet that would soon be stained with her virgin blood.

'Would I truly be sleeping naked on that bed with my best friend?' She wondered. The idea sounded appalling to her. It was like a bitter gall that she couldn't bear to swallow.

"Shade are you okay?" Tade asked with concern when he saw she looked thinner than her usual thin self... Sickly even.

She had been avoiding him ever since the wedding preparation started. She always had one or two excuses to give for them not to see. She wouldn't even look him in the eyes on those few days that he had managed to catch her unaware.

Her father was an egocentric socialite with an overinflated sense of self-worth. Tade doesn't understand why his father would want to be friends with such a person. The man was borderline psycho and he was the main reason why Tade kept telling his father to hurry up their wedding and pushed the day forward.

He had to get her out of her father's house before he leaves for school, otherwise, he wouldn't have peace in school knowing she was still living with that family and knowing her psycho father might change his mind anytime and decided to give her hand to Akin after all. He knew she hated the idea of them getting married. He hated it too but there's no other way around it.

"Tade, are we truly going to do this?" She asked instead, ignoring his question. She was looking at him hopefully like he had some trick up his sleeve he could pull to get them out of the room.

"Do we have a choice?..." Tade asked back regretfully in return.

"Couldn't we pretend like we are doing it?"

Tade chuckled humorlessly at what she said "Then what about the white handkerchief test then, or have you forgotten about that?"

"Yeah, that..." She said and sighed in exasperation. She had almost forgotten that the person the families choose to test her would insert the white handkerchief inside her vagina to collect samples of semen and blood.

"Folashade..." He called her name softly and paused, not knowing if she would like what he was about to say.

"Let's at least try... I mean, maybe we could make this work?"

"Like an actual couple?"

"Yes"

"Tade you want us..." She paused with an unbelievable look on her face "You and me... Would now be seeing each other's nakedness... Laying with each other like husband and wife?" She asked appalled. Her father told her Tade kept pushing for the wedding to happen quickly but she didn't want to believe it. She thought he was lying.

"Shade I don't like this too!..." He knew that the thought of seeing her in that way would take years to get used to... But if she was willing to give it a try then he would also... But why does she have to make it sound like they would be committing an abomination if they become husband and wife in the actual sense of the word?

Shade knew the only way around this was if she had suggested they run away again... But to where? Even if there was a place they could run to then his father would put aside friendship and bring hell over his family and she would never wish that upon his family.

"Maybe if we start seeing each other that way then we could get used to that idea." His voice broke into her thoughts

"Yes maybe..." She replied. Her voice, almost inaudible. She must make this work. Her father said Tade's family might send her back if they didn't find her satisfactory as a wife and she would rather die trying than go back to her father's house.

There was a bang on the door just then, A voice shouted "How much more time...?" and drunkenly guffawed.

"Leave them alone, old man!" Tade's grandmother shouted at the voice. "They will come out when they are good and ready. Anybody that cannot wait, can always leave!" She was not only referring to the drunk but also to the rest of the people who had started gossiping.

Shade stood up then "okay let's get this over with..." She tried to sound brave, but her voice betrayed how nervous and scared she was.

"I'm only going to remove my wrapper and knicker, that's the only part you need... and you'll have to close your eyes, okay?"

''How do I see what I'm doing then?...'' Tade asked, baffled. He was now nervous, his hands were shaking; his heartbeat was sounding like a drum that was being beaten rapidly.

They had lived in the small village all their lives; the little he knew about female anatomy was what he learned in biology class and the only thing he knew about sex was what his uncles and their friends had drunkenly told him the previous night over palm wine and bush meat.

They told him a woman's first time was always troublesome and stressful for men, so they advised him to just shoved it in at once to open the way and get it over with.

***

Forty-five long and harrowing minutes later, it was thankfully over, when he finally collapsed on her after his release. Tade regretted doing it because Shade was in pain all through the ordeal. Even though she never actually complain, her mouth was set in a grim line and he could see the grimace on her face.

'Was she suppose to bleed this much!?" He wondered very worriedly for her when he saw the amount of bloodstain on the bed.

Shade found the experience unbearable and extremely painful. She was mutilated during her circumcision and the tissue had scarred which further made penetration difficult and forced.

His grandmother and another old woman from the guests came in to collect the white bed sheet and also conduct the white handkerchief test, which is to extract blood from the bride's hymen.

"You're not supposed to bleed so much." His grandmother said, clearly worried for her. "I'll check it out when all this is over okay," She said with a gentle smile on her face.

They took the bedsheet and handkerchief out to show the waiting people and everywhere erupted in cheers of congratulations from ecstatic family members, and guests to the couple's parents.

An absence of blood could see the bride disgraced, divorced by her new husband, and probably disowned by her family.

Left alone in their room...

"Are you okay?" Tade asked awkwardly.

"Yes!" She replied firmly with a fake smile. Too firmly that he had to ask again.

"Are you sure you're okay Shade? I could swear you were in pain a while ago..."

"Really, I'm fine Tade, don't worry about it." She smiled but still wouldn't meet his eyes with hers.

"I'm sorry for hurting you." He whispered to her in a broken voice that was heavy with emotions.

"It's not your fault... It's the society we found ourselves in."