Chapter twenty-three :)

"You still haven't answered my question!" Charly said coming closer, the door behind him already locked. "I- I" Harry tried to talk, he stumbled backwards tripping over some shoes laying on the ground. His breath got faster and the first tears escaped his eyes. "Don't start your panic attack again Harry there is no need to"

Charly reached out and stroked Harry's cheek focusing his eyes with a smirk on his face. Harry flinched away disgusted by the touch, it felt exactly like two years ago. "L- leave me a-alone." Harry gasped in between hurting sobs. "Don't do that I don't like when you act like that."  The smile on Charly's face grew

"You know you want it too" No he didn't that was the whole point and Charly knew it, he was such a disgusting son of a bitch Harry wished he was able to stand up for himself and tell him that to the face and to leave him the fuck alone but Charly was so much taller and stronger than him he would never have a chance. His breath got so fast that he got dizzy from it.

"No! I don't" It just came out of his mouth Harry had no control over it. Charly's facial expression changed he had that little vein on his forehead that showed he was really mad and about to yell. He looked so terrifying. Harry just covered his face with his arms and-

Harry's eyes snapped open, all he could see was black. Panic washed over him his hands sweaty and the salty taste of tears on his lips. He sat up trying to tell himself that it was just a dream as the door suddenly swung open "Harry?". Harry flinched in fear "Don't" he screamed wrapping his shaking arms around himself.

Harry could only see the silhouette of the person coming closer. He pushed himself into the corner of his bed bent his knees and squeezed his eyes shut. "L-Leve me alone," he whined trying to stop his lip from trembling by biting it. "Harry, what happened?" Liam switched on the lamp that was standing on the bedside table.

Harry opened his eyes slowly "Liam?" Liam looked shocked at him "What happened? You look terrible." He took the water bottle next to Harry's bed opened it for him and handed it over. "Here drink something." Harry did as told staring down at the pink pillow on his lap.

He took a huge sip of the water and tried to cover his sobbing by drinking even more. Liam wasn't supposed to see him like that, fuck. Harry was worried that he would tell Louis about it. He didn't want Louis to know because he had promised to call him if he had nightmares again, which he obviously didn't. And he didn't want him to worry.

"I- uhm I just had a bad dream." He fought against his tears hoping Liam wouldn't notice. "Harry it didn't look like just a bad dream. You look like y-" Liam reached out to touch Harry's arm but he pulled back before Liam could touch him. "Whoa, I'm sorry I-" Liam apologized "Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"

Harry looked up to him "Please just don't tell Lou." He begged. "I won't if you promise me you tell him by yourself and don't keep it secret." Harry just nodded looking down at his pillow, his view got blurred by the tears.

"Speaking of, he was here as you slept he left this bag for you." Liam pointed over to the chair next to his table. It was a big purple bag with his name written on it. "If you need anything else just tell me." Harry shook his head "I just want to be alone." The wave of avoided feelings hit him as soon as Liam closed the door.

He just wrapped his arms around the little pillow and cried until there were no tears left. It was still night Harry hoped the sun would rise soon. He was sitting in the corner of his room his eyes burning from crying his shirt soaking wet and his face feeling numb. He had sat there like that for hours.

But then as his eyelids started to get heavy and he nearly fell asleep he saw Charly walking towards him. He opened his eyes as wide as possible. He had to stay awake. He needed coffee.

The way downstairs was the hardest part because Harry's legs were still shaky he almost tripped a few times. The first floor was dark and quiet, Liam was probably asleep by now again. The floor, cold under Harry's bare feet as he reached the kitchen and switched the lights on.

The coffee machine was right next to the fridge on the left side of the kitchen. The only noise he could hear was the soft ticking of the clock above the kitchen table.

After getting coffee pads and two mugs Harry started the coffee machine. He hated black coffee, usually, he added a lot of milk and sugar but the effect wasn't strong enough when there was too much milk in it so he decided to drink it pure.

On his way back the main door opened and Zayn walked in like it was a common thing to do at 5.34 in the morning. "Zayn? What are you doing here I thought you were at Gigi's." Zayn closed the door quietly behind himself. A gust of cold morning air filled the whole hallway and caused goosebumps on Harry's skin.

"We had a little argument." He unzipped his leather jacket and looked up to Harry. "You won't be able to sleep anymore if you drink these two now." Zayn pointed at the two cups in his hands.

"I just woke up to learn for a biology test tomorrow I can't concentrate without coffee." Harry was surprised by himself for how easily that lie slipped out of his mouth. "Oh okay, then good luck. I need some sleep." Then Zayn walked past him and disappeared in the dark.

"Good night," Harry called behind him and walked back upstairs. His plan for the next week was not to go to school so he wouldn't see Charly again. And the problem with the nightmares will be solved by simply staying awake the next few days. The coffee was still so hot it almost burned Harry's throat but it helped immediately.

The purple bag came into his mind as he paced the second cup on his table. He took it over to his bed, sitting crisscross on it, the huge stuffed back in front of him. The first thing Harry saw was the pink hoodie Louis and he had bought at the mall ages ago.

It had a small folded paper on top of it, it was handwritten,

Dear Haz,

I put some stuff together that I thought may make you feel better. I visited you but you were sleeping so peacefully and cute I didn't want to wake you.

Ps. Call me when you're awake

And then there was that little smiley face that Louis liked to draw everywhere, it had x's instead of dots as eyes.

Louis knew how much Harry liked that pink hoodie, it reminded him of the day at the mall when they sat on the last floor in front of that huge window wall and watched the lights and stars glow over Doncaster.

He put it next to him and looked back into the bag it was stuffed with sweets like sour patches or reéses which were Harry's favourites. It was already 6.37 am. Louis should be awake by now. He remembered that he wanted to keep his distance from Louis but he needed to hear the older's voice so bad.

He took his phone and unlocked it, it showed tons of missed calls and unopened messages. But he ignored those at first and called Louis. It took a little until he picked up. "Hey, Haz." Harry could tell that Louis was smiling only from the sound of his voice. "Hey."

Harry's voice broke a little, he looked down and closed his eyes to keep the tears inside. "How are you?" Harry swallowed his pain once again "I'm feeling a lot better." He smiled out of habit even tho a few tears rolled down his cheeks.

"Are you coming to school today?" Harry bit his trembling lip "No" he whispered "I have a doctor's appointment today. Maybe tomorrow." His heart hurt so bad as he said that, he lied to Louis once again but he had no choice.

"Oh okay, don't forget to tell me what the doctor said." Harry felt so bad he hated lying especially to Louis. "I won't. See you Sun." Then he hung up. After a while sitting in his bed staring into the air his feelings got numb again. He heard footsteps making their way upstairs.

"Harry?" Liam opened the door slowly holding a plate in his left. "Do you want to eat something?" Harry just shook his head he still sat in the corner of his bed "But you haven't eaten since yesterday." It was probably the best option to eat something because the only thing he drank was coffee.

And that so much that he randomly started shaking really bad every once in a while. It was definitely too much caffeine for him and that on an empty stomach. But it wouldn't kick in if he ate something and then he would get tired and sleep.

"I will eat later," Harry said even tho he felt like starving but he rather felt that than to fall asleep and have a nightmare. "No, I promised Louis to take care of you. I will leave the plate here, please do me the favor and eat at least a little bit." Harry's stomach growled as he smelled the tasty smell of noodles with tomato sauce and cheese.

****

Harry spent the last few days in his room and drank so many cups of coffee that he lost count. The heat of it helped the cramps in his belly he got from not eating. Louis had called him multiple times but Harry just picked up once.

Liam kept checking on him, the last time he took the empty plate and gave him a glass of water instead. As Liam was taking a shower Harry used the opportunity to dispose of the food.

His guilty conscience grew with every missed call. But the worst was his plan to stay home until the holidays began didn't work out, he had an exam in maths on the last day of school which he couldn't skip.

He had found an old notebook in a drawer of the desk in his room where he decided to write down how he felt, it sometimes helped. He wrote that he felt like history would repeat. He was in his room all day again starving and doing everything to stay awake so he wouldn't get nightmares.

That he felt empty and lost even tho he had friends around that cared about him. That he couldn't handle the situation and had no idea what he should do.