The communist invader

March 25, 2006

03h35pm

"Cut. That's good for me. Thank you all for staying and trusting me despite this day that didn't start so well. I thought I would do thirty takes, but this little lady was perfect so after reconsidering, twenty-five seemed to be enough. Well done little lady, you did very well. Those whose work stops here can go and rest now."

Yes, Ivy, I like you too, but I'm really exhausted.

Ugh, no, don't lick my mouth. You think I didn't see you licking your ass earlier, you disgusting dog.

If I remains lying here, I'm going to fall asleep quickly.

Finally, I understand the people who complain on television because it's hard to be a star.

Why do the same thing so many times when I'm sure I was perfect the first time. If you think about it, if it's like my ad, a film must take three years to be make.

"Brrrr, don't you think that's scary, Mister who stinks?"

Oh, I was so good at pretending to sleep on the grass but apparently Linsey comes to wakes me up.

"Young miss, you must be tired. Apart from those takes, you didn't stop playing with that old dog whenever you had the time. Would you like a bodyguard to carry you?"

Speaking of which, Ivy smells really bad from her mouth.

"No, in your arms, Linsey. You're the only one who can carry me, because here, I trust only you. Linsey, I want to sleep."

"We'll take you to your parents' house, young miss. Your little body is strangely heavy, young miss. Starting tomorrow, we'll start a diet of steamed vegetables. Hmm? Gentlemen, let's go, I think she has already fallen asleep."

"Forgive me, but as far as the young lady's salary is concerned... You see, we didn't even have insurance, nor a contract. It's embarrassing but we've just sort of done a wild shoot. I can backdate the documents but I also have to pay our young actress."

"Mr. Alford, I had already anticipated this. Today, as you can see, our young miss is exhausted. Here, call this number and make arrangements with the appropriate department. Have a nice day."

"Madam, but this number is..."

"Call them and tell them that young miss Prescott participated in your ad. I'll let Mr. Prescott know. We are leaving."

🌹ڰۣڿڰۣڿஇღԑ̮̑ঙღڰۣڿڰۣڿஇ🌹

In the car, my tired eyes open from time to time and close just as quickly.

It seems to me that in all my short second life, I have never been so exhausted.

My legs hurt, my arms are gone and I can't really wake up. I wonder how long this journey can be because even though it is not dark, the first signs of the evening have appeared.

I think we are no longer in the city of Los Angeles because here there is a lot of greenery and no tall buildings.

On closer inspection, this large neighborhood looks more like the one we live in the Hamptons except that here the weather is nice and it's not ugly. No, my eyes are still closing.

Wu, what a torment to be a mommy daughter, who never plays sports.

🌹ڰۣڿڰۣڿஇღԑ̮̑ঙღڰۣڿڰۣڿஇ🌹

08h55pm

"Good evening sir, Lara was very happy throughout the day. I think that by taking her with you, you made a wise choice. On the other hand, this little ad has completely drained her energy. I took her to her room where she is sleeping soundly."

"I'm glad she's discovering something other than our house in the Hamptons and tomorrow I'll take her with me. Of course, you will come with us. If you'll excuse me, I still have work to do. Ah, put her teddy bear near to her. I don't know why, but she thinks he's alive. If she doesn't find him near her when she wakes up, she will panic and be scared."

"Don't you think the teddy bear's name is somewhat inappropriate for public outings?"

"It doesn't matter, if she likes it, that's the main thing. Please excuse me."

🌹ڰۣڿڰۣڿஇღԑ̮̑ঙღڰۣڿڰۣڿஇ🌹

Ehh? Where am I? Where am I?

"Mister who stinks, do you know where we are? I understand, so this is the house that's over there but of which we don't know the exact location. Come on Mister who stinks, for starters, let's get out of this bedroom. I would like to turn off the little lamp but where is the main switch in this room?

... Ah, here! What a chatterbox you are, keep it down, Mister who stinks. Well, let's explore this place. Oh, it's big, but I think we have a problem. It says 03:00am on this digital clock and that means it's still the middle of the night. Don't be so cheeky, Mister Who stinks. What are we going to do until tomorrow morning? What? What did you say? Go back to bed? Mister Who Stinks, where is your legendary courage? Oooh, I've got a great idea! I'm Dora the Explorer and you're Swiper. But what nonsense are you talking about? Do I look like a monkey? Then don't start complaining, please and come with me."

🌹ڰۣڿڰۣڿஇღԑ̮̑ঙღڰۣڿڰۣڿஇ🌹

March 26th, 2006

06h15am

"Let go of me, you communist scum. Help, help, for the love of Wall Street, capitalists of the world, get up, the communists have invaded the United States."

(Ding dong)

Footsteps come from the other side of the front door, the door opens, a young maid stands still for a moment, and me, I'm really furious.

"Excuse me, but may I ask who you are and who is this muddy child?"

The angry communist who took me to the gulag after inflicting the worst humiliations, such as being deprived of candy, takes a deep breath and puts away his sickle in his overalls.

"I'm your neighbor, Mr. Ford. Today was my first day off in a month, but someone was having fun throwing stones at my shutters. When I came downstairs I found this child on my property trying to crawl away. This filthy kid called me a dirty communist and threw dirt in my face before running away laughing. When I grabbed her at the border of our two properties, I assumed that she must live here, so here I am. Is this little pest yours?"

I can hardly contain my laughter when the maid, who seems to remember something, runs away.

"No, not possible! Wait a second, I have to check something very important before I can answer you. I'll be right back."

(Voice coming from afar.) "What's do you say? She not in her bed? My goodness, we have a big problem here."

I'm a little hungry after all the tortures inflicted on me by this enemy of the nation, but...

... here she is again.

"Young miss, is that you?"

What an intelligent woman.

"Yes, it's me, but the Communists caught me. I risked my life for my homeland, but I think I'll end my life in the Gulag. You will tell my lovely Mommy that I love her because this man is part of the KGB and to catch an American spy, for him is like a sure promotion. However, never me and Mister who stinks will ever submit to the ideology of the potato eaters...

Oh, say, can you see, by the dawn's early light,

What so proudly we hail'd at the twilight's last gleaming?

Whose broad stripes and bright stars, thro' the perilous fight,

O'er the ramparts we watch'd, were so gallantly streaming?

And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,

Gave proof thro' the night that our flag was still there.

Huhuhu"

My mental attack seems to shake the red defences of this awful communist and while his eyebrows are jumping, he violently pushes me towards the maid.

"Stop! Put her on a leash because this kid is really unbearable. I won't wish you a good day."

"Young miss, why did you do such stupid things? We're going to have big trouble with the neighborhood if this continues."

Fufufu, no risk.

"Don't worry, I've taken radical measures. I have neutralized all the garden gnomes of this communist. From now on, he is now alone against the United States. Once again, our victory will be total."

"What have you got...? Oh my God, oh my God, I think I have to warn mister, even if I have to wake him up earlier than expected. Then, young miss, we'll go take a bath because you are as dirty as a piglet."

"Piglet yourself, oh, big trout!"