Chapter Eighteen - Live For Yourself (Part 1)

Chapter Song Submission - "Damage by H.E.R."

Beep...

Beep...

Beep...

I crack my lids open, listening to the steady rhythm of my beating heart. My body feels numb... and a persisting throb spreads across my lower jaw. Pupils focusing on the unfamiliar white wash ceiling, the sterile scent of disinfectant fills up my lungs.

I breathe.

In. Out.

In…Out…

Memories of the accident cascade into my mind, and I remember everything — the agony, the screaming and...my dad! The heart monitor paces, the sound no longer reassuring. I'm alive! But what about my father? Panic sets in and I flail, screaming wildly at the horror and pain my body remembers. Even now, I feel it like a phantom limb.

"Aera! Aera's awake!" Nari's cry reaches my ears, followed by urgent footsteps. "Someone, call the doctor!"

"Nari?" I croak. Why is my voice muffled? I can barely open my mouth, my jaws are tight.

Nari's haggard face appears in my peripheral vision. Her eyes are red. She catches my hand, stroking my hair and then begins to weep. "Oh my god! I'm so glad you're awake, Aera. You've been asleep for five days!"

Five days?!

"D-dad?" I wheeze, wincing at the dryness in my throat. It feels like I had swallowed sawdust.

She shakes her head discouragingly. "He's still unconscious —"

A bunch of nurses cut her off, piling into the room with their equipment. The doctor replaces Nari, flashing a pen light in my eyes and testing my pupils' reaction. He asked if I'm feeling any pain. Dutifully, I answer all his questions and he takes notes before signing off my chart. "You're on your way to recovery, but it'll take time. You've experienced a traumatic accident. In fact, you're lucky to have sustained a few broken ribs and a fractured arm. No fatal concussion or damaged organs but, I'll be monitoring your progress." The lines of his mouth deepen. "Unfortunately, due to the extent of your injuries, there may be possible scarring. Otherwise, I'll advise you to rest well, take your medication and finish up your meal routinely."

"Thank you, doctor. And my f-father?"

The doctor exchanges a passive look with Nari.

"Please! I need to…know!" I demand hoarsely, knowing something's wrong.

He sighs, looking impossibly grim. "I'd rather not spring this on you now but, your friend warned me you're a stubborn one. Your father hit his head badly while protecting you. The operation was a success and he suffered minor broken bones. Given time, they will heal naturally." He pauses, preparing for the worse. "Despite that, I'm afraid your father has fallen into a comatose state."

My throat tightens up, a pathetic whine escapes me. Nari rushes to my side, clasping my hands. She's already in tears.

"There's no way of telling when he'll wake up on his own." The doctor persists, sympathy shadowing his face. "It hasn't been a week, so we are optimistic but, we are obliged to inform the patient's family as a precaution. Rest assure, we're monitoring his condition and changes will be notified immediately." He hands my chart off to the nurse. "Now, please rest up. Your father isn't the only one who needs healing and that's the best you can do in this situation. I'll return to check on you in the evening."

Nari envelops me as I break down, sharing the grief and pain. Minutes after I calm down, I realize Nari's alone. "Where's my mom?" I hiccup, feeling emotionally bereft. I need my mom.

"Hyeon sent her home. She hasn't slept for days, and I'm worried she'll fall over for pushing herself too hard." Nari confesses, dark circles under her eyes. I'm sure mom isn't the only one being pushed to their limit. "It's a relief that you're awake. Your mom...," Nari squeezed her eyes shut, looking pained. "I-it's just bad, Aera. We were all shaken up by the accident."

"How bad is Dad's condition?"

"On the outside, he looks like he's recovering well, but the doctor said he's not showing the same responses you did. We were starting to worry when you wouldn't wake up too."

"I'm sorry." I grab onto her palm, feeling her warmth. On a level, it comforted me. "Did Chang-Min come by?"

Nari wipes her tears away. "Yes. He'll pick me up later."

"He's probably a mess at work now that I'm in this state." I say ruefully.

She disinclines her head. "Because your Dad was involved in the accident too, Chang-Min's been voted as the acting Director. He's working with your father's secretary."

"That's somewhat a relief." I swallow hard. "Can I have some water, please?"

"Of course!" She quickly pours me a glass of water, holding the straw to my lips. "By the way, the police are investigating the accident. It was obviously a hit and run. Earlier in the week, a detective came by asking you to contact him once you're awake. He said his name is Detective Cha. Are you up for meeting him?"

I nod, my body benumbed with painkillers to cope with the pain. "I'll do it."

The next morning, Mom bursts into tears at the sight of me and as Nari predicted, everyone's stress level decreases a notch. Of course, we're still concerned about my father's wellbeing.

Another week later, the cast around my neck and the bandages are the first to go. Apart from mottled bruises and healing scabs, the doctor says I'm on a speedy recovery — thanks to my age.

Detective Cha also pays me a visit to interrogate me about the accident and I give him a word for word recollection. I ask if they have found any suspects.

"The car was caught on street cameras, but it was heavily tinted. We couldn't identify the driver and the plate number was bogus. I'll be frank. We're short on leads but we will do everything we can to find your assailant." Detective Cha meets my gaze squarely. "Is there anything else you might recall or has anything strange happened prior to the accident?"

"The letters!" I blurt out, startling him. Embarrassed, I explain. "During my last two weeks in Nagoya, I received threat letters. They were mostly curses but nothing to indicate the sender's identity or their possible motive."

Detective Cha's brows slant pensively. "And how frequent were those letters?"

"About three letters per week. I'll find them deposited in my post box."

"Can you provide me the post box address? I'd like to investigate further. And I'll need you to turn in those letters as evidence."

I recite the postbox address and inform him I'll have Nari drop the letters at his office. Detective Cha slips me his name card. "Feel free to contact me if you remember anything else. I'll be in touch."