Chapter 10 - How Are You Depressed?

How Funny story, I always hear people say that if God is making you wait, then you must be prepared to receive more than what you asked for. I literally received way more than I asked for. I got the guy that most girls can only dream about, I am finally bonding with my parents like how I always wanted. Although they stay 6 hours away from me. I am finally doing what I love, work wise. I am busy building my own business which is growing daily. I am finally starting to enjoy my life. I remember feeling overwhelmed so many times. Not understanding what is going on around me. I would do stuff that I didn't normally do. I would spend money that I didn't have. And finally my body just crashed one day. I went to the doctor and was told that I am depressed. I couldn't understand how or why. Worst part is that I didn't know who to speak to about what is happening in my life. I was kept away from my family by a guy who claimed to love me. He would follow me around to see who I was hanging out with. He always knew who I was with and what I was doing.

I craved for love and support from somewhere. But all this guy had to show was greed, he claimed to love me but I discovered that he only loved my money. I would push myself to work crazy hours just so that I could spoil him. Thinking that this would keep him from seeing other girls. Boy oh boy was I wrong. I bought him hoodies that these girls would end up wearing. He went on trips that I was not allowed on and later I discovered that he had taken another girl. I started growing tired of only being the best when I had money. I started seeing right through him. And when I was no longer stupid enough, even his family started disliking me. They started treating me so bad that whenever I went to them I would feel so uncomfortable that all I wanted was to leave as soon as I got there. Work was another story. . .

I worked in retail, I would work crazy hours. One week I worked 7 till 7, which meant waking up at 5 and leaving the house by 6. And then only getting home at 9 in the evening. The next week I would work 7 till 5. This was the week I didn't take any off days. The woman that I worked with wasn't all that bad until I notice them gossiping about me. I just let it slip because what is a woman without having anything to talk about. I always hear people say that when someone gossips about you, it is only because they see you as a threat. Slowly I started becoming one of the best that worked in the store. Not just because of my work ethic but because so many of the clients who walked into the store only wanted to deal with me. I loved what I did but the ladies I worked with was starting to make things difficult for me. They started telling my boss that I stole stuff or that I as giving clients free products.

Slowly I started losing my clients who were once loyal to me. I went from making R10 000 a month to only making R4000 to R6000 a month. Which became a problem because I had bills to pay. The more stressed I was, the more my work ethic disappeared. Until my body just couldn't handle aby more stress. There I was slowly fading into depression.

Why was I depressed? Because everything just became roo much for me to handle and I had no one to speak to. Unsure of who to trust, I felt all alone. . .