I need more from life!

*Yoongi pov

The day has finally arrived. Shay and I get to leave the hospital. I can't believe how excited I am about that.

I feel almost as if I have been given a second chance. A fresh new page in the book of life.

I'm not religious but I am somewhat spiritual, and I truly believe that all things happen for a reason. I believe we all have a role to play in the ever developing story of humankind.

I have been considering what impression I wish to leave upon the fabric of the world. I hope I am remembered for my music. I want to be a positive influence on the young, for my music to help them find their own way through the difficulties of adolescence, to guide them to a happy and fulfilled adulthood. That has always been my expectation for my future, and I have always felt that would be my only legacy. My near death experience has made me realise that is not enough for me. I need more from life.

Kenzie arrives after finally going home last night for the first time since Shay and I were admitted to the hospital. She looks utterly phenomenal. Her beautiful baby blonde hair is freshly washed and loose, soft curls framing her face. Her cheeks are rosy, her skin is clear, her lips plump and pink. She has no make up on and is wearing a plain white sweatshirt over ripped skinny blue jeans with an eye catching pair of red NIKE high tops. Simple, casual, and on her..... sexy as hell!!

"Hi babe" she breaths as she rushes into the room. "I'm sorry I'm later than I said I would be. I have had a bit of a rough morning but all is good now. You ready to go?" she asks

"More than you know" I inform her, standing up and pulling her into a tight hug. I release her from the cuddle and place my hands on either side of her face, stroking her cheeks with my thumbs and tenderly kiss her. She sighs and relaxes against me. I pull away and look into her eyes. They are sparkling like amethysts, that stunning lilac colour so unusual, so awe inspiringly beautiful. A small tear spills from her left eye and falls down her cheek, wetting my thumb.

"What is wrong? Hey! Ssshhh" I pacify, putting one hand onto her lower back and brushing her hair from her face with the other. I kiss her again, with more passion this time and she immediately responds, placing both her hands around the back of my head and running her fingernails through the hair at the nape of my neck. I cannot contain the low moan that feeling causes and she smiles into my lips and pulls back to look into my eyes.

"I am just so relieved you are still with me. Still here. Your Fa.... erm, Jay, almost took you from me. I don't think I can be happy without you in my life. I love you so much. Let's go home" she says

She tells me on our journey back to her house that Namjoon and Bo had already collected Shay earlier this morning and had taken him straight into town to get the haircut he has been so desperate for. He had finally asked the beautiful young nurse for her number and she had handed it over in a heartbeat. Kenzie continues to tell me where he plans to take her if she agrees to a date with him and that he is already choosing his outfit. I grin, remembering my first crush well.

"Namjoon and Bo have spent a lot of time together havent they!" I observe.

"They have! They get along so well and have so much in common! Both sharp as tacks, smart, love to read and to learn, love nature and are passionate about what they do... and also each other it seems" she smirks.

"WHAT?! Really? Oh wow, that's amazing!" I am stunned but so happy. Namjoon is the kind of guy who deserves every good thing the world can bestow upon him. A pure soul, genuine and sensitive but strong too. The most supportive friend I have ever had. He will do everything in his power to make Bo the happiest woman on Earth.

We arrive home and I have an opportunity to really look at Kenzies property. Every other visit I have had here has been a little too fraught for much detail to register. I notice all the gorgeous roses lining the driveway, the bees and insects busily cross pollentating them. I open my window and take a deep breath. The air is so fresh and perfumed with the scent of the flowers. I smile and turn to look at Kenzie and find her watching me with a smile too. I feel myself blush. How long has she been watching me?

"Do you feel up to a walk around the gardens?" she asks

"I would love that actually" I tell her. I'd love to see her home properly. I know she loves it and I'd like to discover why it's so special to her. It is certainly a gorgeous building. The outside is in need of some maintenance but the bones of the house are absolutely stunning. Intricate brickwork chimneys rise into the sky on one end of the building, framing enormous, original, leaded arched windows. The solid wooden doors all covered in heavy duty hand crafted metalwork.

It is definitely worthy of becoming the subject of a series of photos. I love to take pictures, and as I get older I am more and more excited by history.

We pull up outside the house and Kenzie locks the doors of the car once we get out. She walks around the car and takes my hand. I realise her cast is now gone, another small reminder of the time that has passed so quickly recently.

The grounds are immaculately kept. There is a vegetable garden filled with as many vegetables as I have ever heard of, a greenhouse filled with chillies, cucumbers and tomatoes. Herbs in pots Mark the perimeter of the garden and the smell is incredible. There is a huge lawned area where Kenzie plans to hold parties. It's perfect for that. A lake with a flower covered pergola is surrounded with trees. I notice all the ducks have come to view the stranger, or more likely are waiting to be fed. Kenzie is talking to them like they are her friends, promising them treats later. I'm ashamed to say that I am actually thinking about how hungry I am. I love duck! I decide not to mention this!

After around 20 minutes I am exhausted and we head into the house to rest.

That's the frustrating thing about being shot in the chest and having a collapsed lung. I feel fine until I try to do any kind of physical exercise. I need to increase my stamina and quickly or my place in BTS could be in jeopardy. What good is a member with no breath control, who can't sing or dance anymore? A member that can't keep up?!

The permanent damage I have after having my ribs and shoulder blade shattered by a bullet and my lung deflated like a burst balloon means I will not be eligible for my military service, so what will I do with myself? I am considering all my options right now.

Another week passes. Its been wonderful. Me and Namjoon are both staying at the house. Despite Kenzies blessing of their relationship Namjoon will not spend the night in Bo's room out of respect. I have slept in Kenzies room as she has told Shay and Bo about our relationship. She was so nervous, but both of them were so excited and accepting. I had worried that they would be upset by my age, and the fact that I was also their fathers son, even if the reality was that it's in name only. I needn't have. They both hugged me, gently and considerately because of my injuries. Shay whispering these words in my ear.... "Ive never seen her happier. Make sure she stays that way" giving me a firm slap on my back. I did not miss the warning in his tone.

Bo also had something to say to me, although hers had been much less threatening.

"I have always thought my mum had the most beautiful smile. I used to envy her the happiness she must feel inside for a smile like that to radiate from her but I could never work out what it was that made her so happy. We all lived with Shaun and he abused us all in one way or another. He was a vile bully and there was no way it was him. I asked her what her happiness was once when I was much younger. She told me that it was her love for Shay and I.

The smile on her face as she told me that was indescribable. It was as bright and serene as I imagined Gods own smile must be. I only ever saw it when she looked at me or Shay. I realised that every other smile I had ever seen on mums face was just a facsimile, a mask, almost a watery reflection of a smile with no hint of genuity.

That is until she came back from Korea after meeting you. Those first few days home she told us all about you. Your character, generosity, talent as a musician, your drive, enthusiasm and passion for the things you love! She didn't outrightly say she was in love with you, but I could see it in her smile every time she mentioned your name. It really is the most breathtakingly beautiful smile. It is one she deserves to wear 24/7. I know you can keep that smile on her face Yoongi!"

She relaxes her hug and places a soft kiss on my cheek then lets me go and steps back from me with a beautiful smile of her own.

"I intend to Bo........ and I will"