IM GOING TO BE AN APPA!!

Mackenzie pov

I can't believe how terrifying it feels to tell him my news..... hopefully it's 'our' news. As I lie there, Yoongi kissing my abdomen, I worry about when to tell him, what words to use. Do I just blurt it out, wait for 'the right time', when would that be? I am beginning to show a little and I expect that I'm going to grow pretty rapidly so waiting any longer will be tough. Besides, I've kept it from him for weeks already, any longer is denying him an experience he should be fully involved in.......well, if he is the father. I don't even want to consider the alternative, but it is a possibility..... one we have to discuss. There is no way to find out who the father is until after the birth, so there is a wait for us both.

I am so nervous! My stomach is turning over, much like a cement mixer, but rather than being filled with concrete and water it is full of anxiety and fear. I'm definitely terrified. What if kids are a big no for him right now? What if he believes that Shaun is the father and can't bring himself to be involved? What if, what if, what if!??

I retrieve the envelope from my suitcase and return to the bed, handing it to him whilst perching gingerly on the edge of the mattress, fight or flight instinct kicking in. I watch intently as he opens the envelope, looking at me with a puzzled expression before removing the small card wallet and opening it.

He breathes in sharply and fixes his eyes on me, and then begins to cry!

Oh god..... what do I do? Are they happy tears? Disappointment? Has he considered the possibility that he isn't the father? Will that affect our relationship?

I've had some time to adjust to the news and I am fully committed to this pregnancy. I need to give him time to wrap his mind around it. I expect it will be a shock... it was for me!

"Is this..... what is this?" he asks shakily, gesturing to the item he is holding in his hand. "It looks like a pregnancy scan photo. Is it?"

"It is. I'm 12 weeks pregnant now" I tell him with a half smile.

He is turning the picture around in his hands, trying to decide which way up to look at it. I move to sit beside him and take it from him, turning it up the right way and explaining to him what he is seeing. He wipes his eyes with the heels of his hands, sniffing loudly.

"So, this is my womb, and this here is a head, here is a foot, that is the spine.... and this white area here is the heart" I point at each part as I explain it to him.

He is silent for a few moments but it feels like a week, then grins from ear to ear. I realise that I have actually been holding my breath. I puff out a sigh of relief, steeling myself for the next revelation I need to make.

As I'm about to speak again he points at the picture and with a quizzical look on his face and asks,

"If this is a heart, what is this part?"

"Well, that there is a second heart!" I explain quietly

"WHAT??? TWO? Two hearts. That means..... two babies?!"

"It does.... twins" I reply as I'm swept up into a crushing hug.

"I'm going to be an Appa!......... IM GOING TO BE AN APPA!" he shouts, jumping up and grabbing me by the hands and pulling me up to stand too, holding my head and kissing me hard.

"This is why you didn't fly back with us all! You've been well? I hope so. We can go to the Dr tomorrow, maybe have some more scans.... oohhh..... I want to hear the heartbeats!"

I'm elated that he is so pleased about the pregnancy, so I feel absolutely awful about what I need to say next.

"Yoongi, I'm so pleased you are happy, it is exciting, but there is something we need to discuss"

He nods vigorously. "Yes, I agree. We should definitely get married!!"

I'm stunned by his words and wish that was what I wanted to discuss.

"That's a conversation we can have another time, but what we need to talk about now is....." I inhale deeply and continue "...... the possibility that Shaun is the father"