Day 1: Drunk, Day 2:Single

Its been few days. I haven't talked to him properly, the last time i talked to him was when he took me armaan and raaj out together. I was not comfortable with him acting my bf, i was upset. "Are you two good?" Asked raaj.

"Yes absolutely" answered kevin.Raaj looked at me and I rolled my eyes.

"Kavya can you send me the link of that free books app?" Asked raaj.

"Sure." I said when kevin spoke.

"Look Bella upload the picture of her cake. I wish I could eat that. I loved the food made by her." Chirped kevin.

I sat there uncomfortable. Raaj and armaan looked at me.

"Ohh that's fine. Kavya is not among that cringe gfs who fights on such topics." He said laughing.

Yeah I don't fight bit it bothers me.

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Today is shivratri. The hindu festival. And marijuana is served as prasad. I drank too.

After drinking i entered my room and laid on bed. I couldn't stop thinking. As I got high, the anger inside me increased. Increased to the point where i took my phone and texted him.

Me- you are a terrible boyfriend.

he talks about his ex and ignores me.

Me- You make me loose my confidence.

Thats why i am hurting.

Me-You make me feel insure.

About myself.

Me- I can't be in this. I don't want this. This is too much for me. I tried but i am sorry.

Kevin- what are you talking about?

You didn't even notice. I was suffocating.

Me- You you are a terrible boyfriend.

You told me you will be here. I was afraid of relationships and you told me you will be with me to hold me.

Me- I have lost faith.

In myself.

Me- I feel guilty.

Its eating me.

Kevin- you don't want this relationship?

No.

Me- You will be hurt. Than what will be the between difference me and you?

Leave me alone.

Me- you are such a perfect friend. Bestest friend anyone can have ever. You are best person. Indeed he was.

I was too high, I delete the chat in anger and drifted into deep sleep.

I was woken up by constant ringing phone.

I cleaned myself up and took a long hot shower.

My phone was still ringing. It was 6:30 in the morning. I slept for 14 hours?. I picked up my phone.

"Don't bother to pick me up." Informed rosh and ended the call. I saw the day. It was Saturday.

My lab starts at 7:45am.

I need to hurry,. I have a to get my journal signed today.

Another incoming call from saachi, i picked up. She used to wake me up every Saturday. "Bro wake up, you are late." She shouted.

"I know, see you." I ended the call and left the home.

I was still feeling dizzy but i was feeling so good. Like i have removed a burden from my shoulders. Like i am a free bird.

I entered the class. I was so dizzy and felt like throwing up. I lazily walked up to my table and sat there holding my head.

"Hi " greeted carol.

"I feel good." I replied.

"Bro, are you okay? Its still early morning for you. Aren't you going to yell." Spoke saachi as she placed her hand on my shoulders.

"No. I feel dizzy but good." I replied. I don't even know what i just spoke. She left.

I felt someone pulling the stood out a d sitting next to me. I lift me head amd saw kevin. His eyes red and tired with underbags. Face down he looked tired. I didn't feel like talking to him.

"I need air." I said and left the lab. I walked up to football ground and tooka seat. Fresh air kissing my face.My hairs dancing as wind passed by. I felt confident. I felt contained.

I sat there for awhile and memories came flooding back. I texted him yesterday. I don't remember what but i surely did. My phone was in lab.I walked back to lab stumbling. Everything was blur.

I took my seat and opened my chatbox. No chat with him. I checked again. Nothing. But i know i texted him or dreamt of texting him. I looked at carol amd she gave me a serious look.

"Kevin, did we talk yesterday?" I asked him.

"Yes" he answered without looking at me, his voice crack.

I couldn't sit with him right now. I don't even remember what i spoke. How am i supposed to face him? I knew i said pretty bad stuff to him just by looking at his face.

I stood up and walked up to the nearest table where raaj and armaan were sitting.

"Hi" said raaj.

"I was drunk yesterday and spoke to him. I don't remember anything." I confessed. I felt like throwing up.

I looked sick. I asked sir to mark my journal first and then left.

I went home and slept. I woke up at 4pm. 6 hours of sleep. I feel good now. I ate alot then called carol.

"Hello." I said.

"Hi drunk texter." She replied. She knows

"Listen i don't remember anything." I said.

"He showed me your chat." She shouted. Why the hell is she showing our personal chat to others? What about our privacy?

" And?" I asked

"You called him a terrible bf. You were insecure and not confident. You told him that is good person but again terrible bf." She yelled. I don't know what to say. I just said my heart out yesterday.

"Babe, you are the first girl in history to Fuck his mind like this." She screamed.

"Okayyyyy… But i feel happy. I feel like a free bird." I chirped.

"I know. You were so sad last couple of days. Finally everything over." She confessed.

"Relationships are not my cup of tea. This relationship didn't even last for 2 months." I said.

"To be honest, you broke up with him in 1 month only. You were just holding him for his good." She said.

"Okay let me rest now. I feel dizzy." I said and cut the call.

I don't feel guilty. I don't feel over burdened. Everything is perfect now. I am supposed to be single.