New Beginning

“Rin, I do hope you are doing well. Mom and Dad are so proud of what you’ve become today. We are always watching you from above, keeping you safe.”

I woke up from the sound of the alarm clock.

Again, I'm lying on my bed staring aimlessly up at the ceiling. My ears are focused on the hum of the air conditioner as they were so many nights ago. The covers are tightly pulled to my throat, cloaking my body as a weapon. I wonder why this is my life all of a sudden. Nobody ever told me, or at least I never thought that living could be so lonely, joyful, and so bleak.

It seems like I was growing up at home only yesterday, playing, smiling and basking in the love and adoration of my family and friends. I have always laughed, joked, and enjoyed every detail of my life. It doesn't seem that there were bad days back then.

Sometimes I remember and dwell on the ignorant happiness that youth dictated. I wish I had seized my childhood memories more carefully, instead of letting them run away from my mind like a thief in the night. Sometimes I'm overcome, and I'm afraid that tomorrow will come.

I'm asking myself softly.

Is that all there is?

Let's see, where to get started? There was a family, a house, and all the fulfillment and responsibility of it. Then, like a flash of lightning, one cold and rainy summer day vanished, disintegrating before my very eyes. A broken life now replaces what was once a promising future for all concerned.

Sorting out, picking up and splitting up a new life together best describes my new life. It's not a glorious and jovial existence.

I guess it was all just a dream.

I got up from my bed and went to look for my towel somewhere. It’s a school day so I have to get ready.

It’s a new day and I want to have a fresh start. I may not recover from the trauma yesterday has given me, but I’ll sure be able to move forward in life.

After taking the shower, I quickly changed into my uniform to prepare my breakfast.

The scent of toast and coffee. I knew everything would not be the same as it was before.

After eating, I grabbed my lunch in the fridge and placed it in my bag. I quickly put on powder unto my face and combed my hair so that I would not look haggard.

I locked in the front door and closed the gate. I noticed someone standing with his earphones on.

This jerk.

Before he could notice my presence, I quickly walked away.

“Oi Rin! Wait up!”

I am not a bad person. But seeing myself and Phil get into trouble is another thing. Those bullies might kill me if they see us coming to school together.

As soon as I reached the school gate, I saw Yelena and Andrea walking towards my direction.

“Rin! Good morning. How are you feeling? Are you okay?”

“Hello. I’m fine.”

After exchanging conversations with the twins, we decided to go to the canteen. They wanted to accompany me so that I would not have that “alone” feeling since I felt a massive loss before.

To be alone and to be alone is different. You can be alone, but you can't feel lonely and still feel lonely even when you're with other people. Enjoying the feeling of loneliness doesn't necessarily mean that I'm anti-social, it's just that I enjoy the feeling that I have time to just laze around and watch my favorite series or read a book from time to time.

Although my personality is more inclined to be introverted than extroverted, there have been a series of events that have led me to enjoy my time alone rather than with other people. That's why I love being on my own.

I'm not shy by any means, nor am I afraid to speak in front of a crowd, but at the end of the day I'm still an introvert. I prefer the comfort of my pillow, my blanket, and my laptop bed to watch shows or read books, rather than the crowd at a party or a social gathering of strangers. I prefer a cold, rainy night rather than a sunny, bright Sunday morning. I prefer the beach's cool night breeze rather than its bright, cheerful counterpart. I prefer the feeling of being alone rather than with other people, because it gives me time to find comfort in myself, to have fun and to be happy without relying on others.

I looked for a vacant table and sat there. I grabbed the sandwich I made this morning and started to eat.

I saw some girls running through the hallways. They stopped by near the canteen door but left for a few minutes. I then saw Phil hiding under one of the canteen tables.

I smiled. What a weirdo.

When he notices that the girls who were after her just left, he immediately stood up and brushed some dirt on his uniform. He saw me and smiled.

My eyes widened in shock. I can really feel my face heat up and the butterflies flying in my stomach is making me feel so giddy.

I placed my hand on my chest.

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

Crap! Why is my heart beating so fast?

I ignored what I am feeling right now and focused on the sandwich I am eating.

Yelena and Andrea finally arrived.

“Hey! Look my sandwich isn’t it good?”

“Rin? Uhm, you are as red as a tomato. What happened? Hmmm you saw your crush noh?”

What is she saying? Hahaha. Me? Having a crush on someone?

I looked down and only fidgeted my fingers. I quickly placed my phone in my bag and stood up.

“Hey! I think it’s time for us to go! We might be late for classes!”

Yelena and Andrea were already wondering because I was acting weird but they followed me anyways.

When we arrived at the classroom, I immediately went to my seat to read a book.

“Good morning.”

That voice!

“Huh? I- um- good morning! Hehe.”

“Hey guys! You free after class? I have some free coupons! Let’s stop by the café near our school. They would trade these coupons for donuts. So? Are you up?”

I nodded in approval. Andrea, Matthew and Phil agreed too.

Crap. So were spending the day together.

Time flies fast and soon the classes were already finished.

“Yay! I can’t believe were going in to bond together! This is once in a lifetime opportunity since Rin doesn’t go with us when we offer her something like this.”

This isn’t my thing to be honest. But you know food is life, so why not grab the opportunity?

We were walking down towards the café and Phil stayed beside me.

The fudge why is it making me feel giddy?

“I’ve never seen you blush.” He whispered.

That caught me off guard! What is he thinking!

No. Maybe that question is to be asked for myself. What am I doing? What is this feeling?

“Everyone! We are here!”

We entered the café and took our seats. I literally avoided Phil and sat beside Andrea.

Our donuts arrived and we just ordered some drinks. We had a little chit chat there and I just listened. I literally don’t have anything to say to them anyways.

Yelena was the one who’s very chatty in our group. After some time, she decided to go home since she remembered we have assignments to make and exams to study for.

We parted ways and I walked towards our home.

The amethyst-purple color invades the late summer skies. However, for now, the fields are still Elysium-green. Bees still murmur in that strange, exclusive cult hum. They're flitting from flower to flower, surfing the short spaces as they go. The stars are summer stars, flickering like pulsating lodestars. The sun-fa of the song erupts as they fade away, the ancient alchemy of the dawn chorus.

Bilberries and singers adorn the forest floor, searching for sunlight. The perpetual skies of the summer are swollen with clouds, and they flare up in a luminous, neon-blue mood. Summer is a treasure trove of nature. The fields are loaded with golden-yellow flowers, and the silver-washed fritillaries carry their pollen bushels carefully. A goulash of scents shimmers over the satin soft petals and the sweet pear taste of the air is a blessed joy.

The night sky was dark purple. The sound of the intonating bees filled the air. The stars shone like beacons for the lost souls of the world. A feathered medley was echoing through the trees. The garlic smell of ramsons was drifting through the air. The clouds were tied to the eternal, summer sky. It was like a solar blue dome. The grass was soft with silk. A fountain of smells swirled around me.

I looked up to the purple skies.

Love is affection, devotion, passion, desire, warmth, respect and loyalty. You're choosing. It doesn't really matter which one, because they're all forms of love. Some are powerful and require attention, while others are more subtle and just below the surface.

Well, I'm used to believe that love can't be made at first sight. But today, I think it's going to happen.