CHAPTER III: Disconnected Ideals

It had been three days since I witnessed the astonishing event.

Currently buried with mountains of books and reports, my mind kept on flying on its own.

“No way in hell will this turn out into a cliché love at first sight spectacle!”

I mean who wouldn't admire a person of such caliber?!

Argh.

Frustrated, I threw my pen and stood up.

I went out of my room and padded down the stairs towards the kitchen.

“I can’t focus at all. A glass of water should do the trick.”

That was a complete lie.

“How the heck did this happen?”

I looked around at the numerous foods laid out on the table.

How did a glass of water turn into a mukbang?

Was my mind really out of it?! I banged my head against the marble counter.

“What are you doing in the middle of the night?”

I froze. I lifted my face from the counter, but I did not bother to look up.

I started to gather the used plates and utensils and brought them to the sink.

“Dia…”

I gripped the plates tighter and ignored the voice.

“How long are you planning to do this?!” I can hear the desperation behind those words.

But I will not yield.

After a few silently gruesome moments, I heard a sigh resonate on the quiet walls.

“Don’t shut me out, Dia… Look at me, please…”

I turned the faucet off and wiped my hands on the drying towel hanging at the side.

I bowed my head and walked past the person standing at the doorway.

As I went up the stairs, I could clearly hear the words that were uttered upon this cold night.

Words that are hard to swallow, no matter how real it is.

With this, my mind had completely diverged away from its original path.

The following morning, I was combing my hair when I heard one of the cars drive away.

I paused and observed from the window as the contraption slowly disappeared from sight.

“This is what it is supposed to be.” I said towards the person looking at me from the mirror.

After finishing a few touch-ups, I proceeded to head to the academy.

The rushing breeze from the opened window from the car feels exhilarating.

As I neared the campus, the sign slowly became visible.

'Accademia Promuovere'

An academic institution that pursues the conceptualization and importance of furtherance and excellence.

The diverse high rising buildings, formed to resemble a place of comfort and class, came into view.

When I entered the parking lot, there were already numerous vehicles stationed everywhere.

After I parked, I calmly stepped out of the car and walked towards the main building.

Good thing not a single soul bothered me until I reached my locker.

I gathered all the necessary materials and proceeded to my first class.

When I entered the room, the class was unexpectedly empty.

I looked at my watch and saw that I was right on time.

I saw the fluttering curtains and was enticed to approach it.

As expected, the view remains unbelievably enthralling.

I didn’t expect that someone would tap my shoulder all of a sudden.

I turned around and saw the girl from before.

“Ah, uhm, I went back here to get my notes, uhm…” She stated whilst nervously pinching her arm.

I think she noticed that I was looking at that, so she stopped and brought her hands behind her back.

“I just wanted to say that um…the professor announced a study hall for his entire period.”

“Okay.” I simply replied and looked back at the scenery outside.

I thought she had already left but I was shocked when she spoke to me again.

“Um…you always love to look beyond that window.”

I turned to face her once again and she instinctively stepped back.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t want to become meddlesome. I just noticed that you always look outside. Um, yeah.”

I sighed. “It doesn’t concern you.”

She gulped and looked down.

“Do you have anything else to say?” I inquired.

I saw the way she bit her lip for a second and shook her head. What I did not expect was her courageous attempt to look me in the eyes.

“I wanted to say sorry for what happened before!”

I was confused for a moment, “What?”

“The other day when I approached you. I’m sorry. I was ignorant.” She weakly said.

“I don’t get what you’re saying. You’re wasting your time.”

With this, I stepped aside and headed for the exit.

Damn, déjà vu?

“Wa-wait!” I felt her pull my wrist using both of her hands. I was forced to stop and face her.

“What the fuck are you doing?” I annoyingly asked her.

“I want to talk to you.”

“You already did, right? What more do you want to say? We’re not even freaking close!”

I struggled to release my wrist from her grasps.

She’s small but why is she strong?!

She couldn't be any more than 5'6"? Or maybe 5'5"?

Looking at that, how come her height is so short, but her annoying characteristic is as tall as Burj Khalifa?!

“I know that! That’s why I’m making an effort to approach you!”

That's it.

I angrily snatched my arm away from her.

“Well, I don’t need your shitty effort!”

She was taken aback with what I stated.

Making an effort? Ha!

You're practically making it sound like someone's forcing you to 'make an effort.'

"I-I what? Wait. I didn't mean, um, wait-"

"What? You think I'm so pitiable because I don't have beloved friends like you do?"

I stepped closer to her. Intimidating her with my presence.

Which was effective because she flinched so obviously. "N-no!"

I inched my face near hers, "Well, that's what I think it is. But guess what? Maybe you're right, people like you disgust me the most."

Her eyes widened at my harsh words. However, that does not bother me at all.

Hate me all you want but I will not tolerate people who think little of me.

“I don’t need anyone being all chummy with me, alright? Don’t go starting your stupid campaign.”

Again, I left her standing there like an idiot.

Friends, closeness, bleh! I don’t need any of those!

Superficial feelings won't last forever. Heck, it wouldn't even feed me if deemed necessary.

I laughed to myself, “As usual, people force themselves to do something they are not obligated to attempt just because of a measly bond.”

How desperate can these people be? They go flaunting how being with friends is a survival instinct. Ha! How foolish!

When will they freaking realize that compassion and willingness are two different ideas?

When that time comes, probably, the world will have fewer people living with stupidity.