Chapter IV

All.

Good, very good. I interrupt Charlotte's words to add to this section, it's like a guide to better understand what she's trying to tell me, to be able to know where...

I finished dressing, ate some bread I found on the table. Luckily, my hair was still manageable, so I just arranged my hair with my left hand.

As I made my way to the exit I ran into my uncle.

— Leonard, good morning, are you going to work already? — He asked.

— Good morning Uncle Alexander, yes, I'm on my way to work. — I agreed, to which he smiled.

— No more mistakes Leonard. — He said and then came closer and looked directly at me.

— There will be no more mistakes uncle. — I assured him. I went out and took a cab, during the course of the trip a feeling of strangeness spread throughout my body, this feeling was with me since I woke up, in fact the last few days had been the same way, it felt quite strange.

At the entrance of the hospital there was a girl that I recognized by her similar features to her father. Especially that mole on her left cheek, she was quite a pretty girl but her attitude is unusual.

Those eyes when meeting me radiated hatred, fury, I knew them well, also around her age or less she had the same look of wanting revenge, also those dark circles under her eyes, that reddish color showed that her crying was quite overwhelming and maybe through her mind goes the: "What if I had taken him to a better doctor".

That girl looked about fifteen years old, she had dark circles under her eyes and her eyes, those haggard eyes looked at me with so much anger and with a slight reflection of helplessness, I knew that well, then she didn't wait any longer, she approached me with a frown and agitated breathing. What happened next was a mixture of what I expected and what I didn't expect. In fact, I expected a slap and what I didn't expect was a punch on my cheek. And then he looked at me.

— My father, he didn't die from removing the tumor, he died from an infection, my father, my father, he wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for you. — Inhalo and tried to hit me one more time, however, I grabbed her hands and held her, that little girl was kicking and fighting against the one who took away part of her happiness, I understood that and a hit will bring more problems to her than to me.

— I'm sorry, it won't happen again. — The exact word for this is "complicated", this whole situation was complicated, it was obvious that if you chose medicine you couldn't always save all the people, therefore, I was supposed to be prepared already, it wasn't like that but I had nothing left but to accept it and go on, without making more mistakes.

— Yes, it won't happen again because my father is already dead because of your uselessness. -He shouted. I would be lying if I said it didn't affect me. Then the guards arrived, separated her and took her away. I went on my way, once inside the place I went to corridor two, I approached the secretary Marye, I signed my attendance, I went to my room, since I was the doctor in charge. I met Lilith, I could not expel her, but I could be professional and serious in this field, I learned that a mistake takes with it a life and as the responsible doctor I had to set rules, it was the first patient who died in my hands because of my group's mistake.

— Resident Lilith Rodriguez, yesterday you made a mistake in the cleaning of the medical material causing an infection in the patient we treated yesterday, therefore, the professional medical group has decided to forgive your mistake and cover it up, however, you will fail in your grades. Another mistake will not be tolerated, think about your mistake. — I informed her in a cold tone.

Her face became distressed and her tears soon fell, then in that instant the resilience I have been practicing was tested, she knows my feelings and the feelings I have managed to create about her. Breathe.

— If the death of a patient affects her, I don't think she chose the right career. — I thought and then headed for the door.

— No, it's not about her death. — I turned to her in complete shock. If she didn't feel guilty, then she cared more about flunking, yes I already knew that nature I had but I was still willing to accept it Was something wrong with me, wasn't it?

— So what he's trying to say resident is that he cares more about his reprobation? -She nodded and a new feeling blossomed in me. — Well, learn to live with your mistakes resident, next time we won't hesitate to expel you and not receive you anymore. That light-haired girl with gray eyes looked surprised.

— I understand, Dr. Plasse. — Lilith was not stupid so she understood quickly, the new feeling that has blossomed was not only one, I found out when I left that there were quite a few. Surprise, displeasure, disappointment, that friend of mine did not bear a shred of guilt, of course guilt goes in order of hierarchy, here the biggest culprit would be me for being her superior, something was definitely wrong with me. At this moment I was on my way to the directors and managers room.

I crossed the one hundred and third corridor and reached the elevator that took me to the tenth floor, where the hospital's non-health management ward was located. I opened the door and everyone was ready to talk about the incident.

— Welcome Dr. Plasse, I believe you are already informed about the situation of your subordinate in charge, it's more about resident Rodriguez. Like many more residents a life has slipped away, but as you are aware the duty of this hospital is to cover the mistakes of the students, but also to punish them, it has already been decided that the resident will fail, however, now we are here to give a different cause of death to the patient, rumor has spread that the cause is infection and in fact the daughter of the deceased patient heard those words from resident Rodriguez. But for now, the best we can do is that you Dr. Plasse should make a report explaining that the cause of death is because Mr. Osorio's body did not resist the surgical intervention. — Faced with the answer that Director Santacruz gave me, I thought it was efficient but once again I piled one more lie to the pile of my subconscious. It was the last time I did something for Lilith, I still love her and her image in my mind is persistent, but I must learn to separate things and my feelings or I will continue with this miserable life.

— I will prepare the director's report right away, with your permission, I leave.

I left that place and returned to my workplace, I started with the report, names and surnames of the patient, doctors who attended him, the disease he had, the reason why he died.

— Mr. Plasse, we need your presence. Plasse we need your presence, we need an orthopedic surgeon and traumatologist. — I nodded and quickly got up from my seat, I walked behind Mark, when I entered I was given a quick report, the patient needed urgent surgery for his spine as he had scoliosis.

When we arrived at the agreed place, three nurses, the resident Lilith and two doctors were already there. I was a traumatologist specializing in spine and Dr. Michael was part of my team specializing in spine surgery.

The nurses quickly prepared us doctors, put on our gowns, masks, gloves and then proceeded to check that all the materials were present.

Then they gave me the X-rays of the patient, the technique that can be used with the given instruments. Then I started with the organization. We sterilized the area to be worked on, I proceeded to place the gel around the spine, then I placed the surface, reception and stimulation electrodes on the muscles to determine if there was a lesion in any nerve. At the beginning of the operation, we made a cut with the scalpel and avoided injuring the supra- and infra-spinous ligaments.

Once the spine was visible, we started with the pedicular instrumentation. In the end, we were able to successfully perform the operation on the patient, the proximal screws and the pre-molding of the rods in order to assemble the "Daytona Team" assembly and finally place the patient's spine in the correct position.

The operation was finished in an estimated six hours, it was very tiring and this time I made sure that all the tools had been sterilized and cleaned properly.

I went back to the living room to get my things and then I noticed that it was already dark so I called a cab, at the exit there was again the girl with the mole on her cheek.

— This time, you did save another person! — She spat with anger, her look had a light that infected her rage, she was a tenacious and biting girl, especially with that tongue of hers.

— In the report dictated by Dr. Plasse and signed by the hospital director, it has been said that patient Osorio did not resist the surgical intervention. — Exact words that were in the report. At this point I had to breathe and "be professional" if I wanted to keep my job and not disappoint the person who raised me.

— That's right, Miss Osorio, I am sorry for the loss of your father, however, he did not resist, the resident Rodriguez was wrong in her diagnosis, it is worth emphasizing that she is a resident, it was not due to infection, his body collapsed.

Then a scream interrupted my next words. She was angry, sad, disappointed and above all she wanted revenge. Her scream informed me of her actions, but my misery did not allow me to move. She ran in my direction and her right hand carried a knife, the urge to move like in any action movie did not appear, I just stood there waiting for her to be satisfied.

My luck was better when the hospital guards showed up and Lilith was next to them. They took us to the police station, myself to testify or file a lawsuit and the girl for attempted murder.

— Dr. Plasse, are you going to sue Miss Osorio? — I shook my head, I was a teenager who didn't know what to do and the next one I was sure I would avoid a punch, I was a girl with raging hormones and mixed feelings.

Lilith frowned and her gaze settled on me, her gestures expressed everything she wanted to tell me.

— Leonard, why don't you go sue her, I remind you that she was about to murder you. — I looked at Lilith and slightly lifted my corners.

— No, I'm sorry, but she's just a teenager who lost her father, Mr. Osorio. — I expected to see some reaction from her, but what bothered me the most was her question.

— Did you know the girl's father? — I nodded my head and started to think, "So many years idealizing Lilith, I put her on a pedestal and knowing that I still want to be close to her. Knowing more about her personality I dislike her, but that's not why I still want to push her away. Something was wrong with me I always thought that every time I saw her.

— Mr. Policeman, I do want to sue Miss Osorio. — Lilith affirmed.

I said goodbye to Lilith and left the police station with a bitter taste in my mouth, even more disappointed in her. When I got home tired, the only thing I did was to go to my room and go to bed.

Then the memories threatened to come out and so did my best friend, Raíl.

<<— You know Leo, I watched a project where people adapted other people in intelligence, strength and everything, it was wonderful, even if it was only fictional, it was the best book I've ever read. It also had a psychological part, I recommend it to you because it probably helps you to overcome Lilith. — Explained Raíl with a wide smile and expectant eyes. We were both seventeen years old.

— I don't know, I don't know if I want to get over Lilith. — I don't know, I don't know if I want to beat Lilith.

— In that book, people developed a way for those other people to overcome their fears and everything bad in their head, in fact, it has so many scientific parts that fascinate us, in fact, the author is a psychologist and a doctor. Her name is Samlyss. I smiled.

— All right, Raíl, tell me the phrase that interests you the most. — I asked him, he had managed to capture my attention.

— They dealt directly with his mind and therefore lies and deception did not exist.>>

That memory brought up in me an immense sadness, it has been a year since I lost him, he died at twenty-two. And I missed him irreplaceably. Those moments remembering the fleeting years of happiness made me cry for Raíl, I cried for the girl who would end up in jail, I cried for Lilith, I cried for the guilt, I cried for my sadness, I cried for everything. Surely if I were the protagonist of something the readers would complain about my lack of strength, what do they expect? I am like this and how I feel is real.