Chapter 39: Everything

Opening his eyes slowly, Neo barely comes to his senses.

. . . I can't move . . . is the first thought that comes to mind.

But, he is able to turn his head and look around with difficulty. He finds Charlotte's head right next to him and sighs in relief, a bunch of pink flowers blooming around them.

There is a dim amount of light, the usual light sources then. He can spot the ground lights as he looks down from the hilly area he fell on. And the flying light source is above, flying slowly and randomly. It looks like a jellyfish, glowing in the dark and flying, but there is still enough to see to an extent.

He looks up and sees something he has never seen before, there are small uniquely shaped lights all over the void above, forming and disappearing, it isn't completely dark.

There is a lot on his mind from what he just experienced and had to digest, so he throws the curiosity of how they got there to the back of his mind and just basks in their beauty as the wind passes.

. . .

After a while, Neo's breathing starts going faster and faster, and he starts breathing heavily. It's as if, all of a sudden, everything decides to surge and come out.

Spite, disgust, anger, frustration, joy, and more, all come flooding in after the pressure gates kept them sealed shut.

His mind becomes a jumble of everything.

"Stop," he says, closing his eyes and taking in a deep breath. Amidst all the confusion and chaos running in his head, one thing conquerors and subdues all, rational thinking. Wielding a weapon of wanting to protect and help Charlotte, it digs itself into the ground with an iron fist at the forefront of his mind.

Neo recalls the talks he had with Arcat, "An unstable support is a dangerous support, for itself and for what it's upholding," Arcat had said.

"Now, let's try, just like how he taught me," murmurs Neo.

He imagines it as if he is sorting all his emotions in order and some pairs what he thinks fits and funnels them one by one through rationale.

Firstly, Neo opens his eyes wide, I want to torture Aayn in the worst way possible and have him cease to exist . . . that's one side of what I feel but . . . he remembers his encounter with that thing.

That thing . . . he recalls the Female One's words . . . all of them, rage, spite, hate, animosity, and more, I felt it all from that thing. There was too much overflowing. If One didn't step in, I might have lost it. It's as if it was all things together incarnate.

If I let these emotions take over and have them be my main source of action or behavior, would I be more like Incarnate? My first instinct was repulsion from its existence. So, I am conflicted . . . Should I be more like it?

He looks at Charlotte.

Would being like that be more dangerous for you? . . . Is choosing you what I want? . . . Curious, would I have been able to pull it off if it weren't for you back then?

I think I might have been eaten with you, the pain was indeed very intense after all. If you weren't there, I don't think I would have managed to stay conscious. Actually, I am pretty sure that I wouldn't have pulled it off . . . what amount of pain have you been through when I experienced only a fraction of it? I can't forget it, and don't want to experience it again.

I hope you can recover . . . I want us to be with each other . . . I want to support you through this time . . .

A lot to explore and process.

. . .

This isn't easy, but thank you, Adora and Arcat, for the tools.

Neo looks up at the void decorated with lamps, and his heart feels at ease. He tries to move his hand and notices that he can, though in a slow and sloppy manner.

I am starting to be able to move again, Neo thinks as he starts getting up slowly.

The feedback from regeneration is very harsh . . . Arcat made it look like a cakewalk.

What resolve did he have to reach that point?

Standing up fully, Neo notices his great sword planted into the ground above him.

"Weird. This wasn't here when I looked around the first time," he says, stumbling towards it slowly with his weakened body. He steps outside the area of the flowers that are surrounding him and Charlotte's head. To reach it, he walks towards it in a quarter circle manner.

"More questions, and more things to think about," he huffs out a laugh, grabbing the pommel of the sword with his right hand and the sheath with his left, using the sword almost like a cane.

Regardless of what I choose, there is one thing I've decided on.

It . . . it's the wise thing for me to do.

A rustling sound comes from the trees surrounding them.

Neo remains in position, gripping the pommel of the sword.

He looks down and notices that the button that had gone missing is on his shirt again and smiles at it.

From now on . . .

A large snake suddenly strikes, falling down from the trees, flanking him at high speed.

. . . More is not enough.

As if it's second nature to him, Neo unsheathes his sword, leaving the sheath on the ground, and takes a single step, striking the snake at an angle, putting whatever power he has left into this one strike, he beheads the snake.

Only everything will be.