Gossip Girls

The next morning there was a mixture of anger and guilt bubbling in Benjiro's chest. His afternoon out probably wouldn't be as good as he was imagining, few things ever were. But he never imagined that not only would every attempt to talk go so badly, but that Akiko wouldn't stop insisting that it meant nothing special. Sitting at the table and munching on a piece of honey toast, he could do nothing but wonder. He knew that he probably didn't have the most handsome face or the most outgoing personality, but he just didn't understand, 'Why would she invite me somewhere, only to act like that?'

'Knowing us, something probably just got lost in translation', Inei suggested.

"Maybe, but she was acting so standoffish the entire time, I wasn't sure how I should react", Benjiro complained.

'Nobody's saying you should know exactly to act. You don't have all that many interactions with members of your own sex, let alone members of the opposite.'

"I probably shouldn't have gotten so freaked out over the nails, but they were just so...so", Benjiro's voice trailed off. He began involuntarily shuddering and thumping his leg up and down, trying and failing to do his damndest to remain calm. "I know it's pathetic, to still be afraid of something like that after all these years, but it's still so..."

'Hey! Take it easy, kiddo. That stuff may be in the past but you were still just a little kid when it happened. It won't be easy to forget and you most likely never will. Sh*t like that is always gonna be part of you.'

Hugging his own arms, Benjiro wondered, "But why does it have to stick with me? Why can't I forget it like I would trying to remember people's birthdays?"

'I don't decide the rules for how trauma works.'

"Well, get me the phone number of whoever does", Benjiro demanded, "I'll find the sadistic bastard and make him regret being born."

'Very funny, but the fact still remains that you did let Mine's letter and your own circumstances get you angry, and that made things worse. We need to say, sorry.'

"Why should I be the one to say 'Sorry?' She's the one that was constantly insulting me."

'Something just tells me it was our fault this time.'

"You say that any time something goes mildly wrong. How many times did it actually work, huh? When has apologizing for something actually done any good?"

'What other option is there?'

Benjiro set his toast down and sighed, "I really messed up, didn't I?"

He looked at the clock and realized that it was about time to go. HIs backpack felt a little heavier with the extra notes, and his right arm would start aching with the added weight of his guitar case. Thinking back, aside from the weekend that just passed, it had been a hot minute since he had actually played his guitar for real. It had also been at least a year since he had actually played in front of another person, and his Dad didn't count.

Once he was out the door, he half expected to see Akiko come out of her front door, but he realized that she would be at play practice, that early in the day.

'Could I approach her at lunch? No, I have a hard enough time approaching her. A cafeteria full of people and a table full of friends ready to back her up. I might as well walk end to end through a minefield. That would be less nerve wracking and I'd come away with fewer emotional scars.'

These and similarly morbid thoughts were running through his head. As he swapped his guitar case between hands to keep his wrists and elbows from feeling like a strand of taffy he was getting nowhere. Thankfully, he shared no classes with Akiko, so there wasn't any awkward pauses in the hallways. However, at lunchtime, the need to run through his knowledge of the devil's vocabulary grew when he saw Akiko and her trio of friends. The trio looked excited and firing off a battery of questions at Akiko, who was raising her hands to shield herself from the proverbial barrage.

Trying to make himself as unnoticeable as possible, he tried slinking out of the cafeteria, but before that happened a hand pulled on his collar. Turning around, he saw that it was Akiko's friend Maria. Ordinarily, Benjiro would be good at hiding how uncomfortable he was, but behind his pained smile, he groaned much louder than he meant.

"What's with that attitude", Maria as she tugged on his arm, "Come on, Aki refuses to spill any of the details."

Benjiro found himself being dragged to the table where Maria and the rest were sitting. The danger signals in his brain were blaring loudly, 'Somebody help me' he privately pleaded. The walk to the table only took twenty seconds but Benjiro felt like he was traveling in slow motion. 'Please don't let me sit at a table with a girl I had a terrible date with and her harpy friends that don't know how to stop giggling at everything!'

But no matter what entity he offered prayer to, nobody came to rescue him. Sitting at the table, Akiko's other two friends were looking at him with excited faces that practically screamed "Tell us all the juicy details" and Akiko herself who was currently maintaining a neutral expression. Maria pulled one of the empty chairs out and heartily invited him to sit down. He tried opening his sandwich up and taking a bite, but he had the sneaking suspicion that if he didn't start talking soon, the trio was either going to explode in anticipation or force the details out of him.

Slowly swallowing and sighing with resignation, "Wh-What do you w-want", he asked, trying to keep his voice from cracking.

"I thought you'd never ask", Maria blurted out. All three of them started crowding around him and asking too many questions all at the same time.

"Tell us all about how Sunday afternoon went. What did you guys talk about on the way to the theater? How was the movie? Was it as steamy as everyone says? Did you two exchange passionate glances? Did your hands touch in the popcorn bowl? Did anything happen on the way back? Did she invite you int-"

Benjiro shot up his hands, "Wait!"

"What's the matter?"

"T-Too many p-people t-talking."

One of them turned to Maria and whispered, "He doesn't really talk all that much, does he? He didn't really say much at karaoke either."

"I know", Maria whispered back, "But the way he's so shy is adorable, don't you think?"

"Maybe that's what got Aki interested in the first place", she confided, "She's into shy guys."

"You both know I can hear you, right?"

The two friends slowly rotated their heads to look at an annoyed Akiko, who was tapping her finger against her folded arms, "I'd appreciate it if you two wouldn't start making things up about me, especially while I'm right next to you."

Maria turned to her walking Napoleon complex of a friend, "C'mon Aki, we tried asking you about how your date went-"

"And I keep telling you that it wasn't a date."

"But no matter how many times we ask, you refuse to tell us a damn thing."

Maria turned back around to look back at Benjiro, "Don't mind her. She just refuses to acknowledge how she actually feels sometimes."

"I'm perfectly honest", Akiko protested.

"Yeah, but never about anything that matters", Maria fired back.

Benjiro shifted around in his seat, wishing that either he could actually turn invisible or that he could somehow sprout wings and fly to anywhere that wasn't where he currently was.

"Th-There's n-not much to t-tell", Benjiro began, which shifted the attention back to him, "W-We m-met up, w-walked to the theater, watched the m-movie and walk-ked back. That's all."

Akiko's two friends looked severely disappointed.

"You can't be serious, that's all you did", one asked.

"No, he's got to be covering for her or something", the other suggested, "You don't have to lie, you can tell us. If Aki gets mad, we'll just tell her to shut up."

Benjiro looked at the expectant faces in front of him, and then back to Akiko's barely maintained poker face. Glancing down at her hands, he pursed his lips when he noticed that she still had the long, red nails.

'Why is she still wearing them? Is she tapping her fingers like that to make sure that I notice them?'

Figuring that now would be as good a time as any, Benjiro pushed out his chair and bowed, "I'm s-sorry. I kn-know I ruined y-your movie night somehow. It's f-fine if you don't w-want to rehearse anym-more."

Without waiting to even see how she would react, he grabbed his sandwich and hurried out of the cafeteria. He knew people were probably staring, but he just wanted to get away from everything for even just a moment.

'He's going back to that empty room, isn't he', Akiko deduced.

After he left, all three of Akiko's friends turned back with looks that ranged from confused, concerned and even a little angry.

"Akikooo", Maria drawled.

Upon hearing Maria say her actual first name, the short girl knew she was most likely in for some more intense questioning.

"What did you do to that boy that made him think he needed to practically kowtow to you and quite possibly not speak to him?"

Akiko began to squirm, seeing that she had no escape, she figured her friends should at least hear her end of the story.