Where it all started (part 3)

(These isn't supposed to be part 3, but i noticed the half of the part 2 didnt appeared on the chapter after spending time writing)

I ignored what he said what I look like and came back to the cell, while in the room I started to feel like I don't wanna live, I started to feel like I don't deserve to live.

I felt like I spent my life just to suffer, spending my days on Earth to be a slave, that I'm a person that everyone should own.

I stared at myself at the mirror, my long hair, my pinkish lips, green eyes, I hate all of them

I despise myself.

I broke the mirror with my hand causing it to bleed, I grabbed a sharp piece and about to slice my throat

They thought I would be scared of the bomb in my stomach, they didn't know I'm suicidal enough

"Do you really want to kill yourself?" a voice of a familiar scientist said, I looked around the room and saw a speaker, I looked around more and found a camera

"You can have freedom, you can have money, if you stay alive but you'll a pet of the lab, what can you say about that?" the scientist offered, I looked at my bloody hand and thought about it

In the end I was blinded by freedom and agreed to be a slave, a role I hated the most

I spent my money by buying what I want and never looking back to the house I came from

I sat down to a tree and the happiness I felt when I bought those things easily went away

After a couple of seconds, the guy I met before came and sat beside me

"I heard you got money, but you still don't look happy at all" the guy said, looking directly at my eyes

"Maybe..buying what I want isn't the solution after all" I replied.

"Then how about being in a relationship with me?" the guy asks that made me flinch

"Are you crazy? I thought I told you I'm not a girl!" I shouted

"Well, genders doesn't matter at all" he said that somewhat made my heart not at ease, "what's more better than being love? than being someone that you see as peace" he added.

He looks away with a smile, "I don't know what I'm saying right now, but seeing how soft your face is, I started to see you as peace, as someone would make me calm.."

"..someone that can keep my secrets, someone I can lean on..someone that can accept me and trust me...isn't that what love is?" after he finished he let out a chuckle

I took a huge breathe, "I'm Mikhael" I said my name while looking away

"I'm Philip" he replied

"D-Doesn't mean I want to be in a relationship with you, okay! J-Just give me a time to think about it" I explained while my arms crossed

"Okay, I'll be waiting"

Times passed, Philip and I are in a good terms. Day, by day, by day, I started to fall for him and love him secretly, I started to see him as a lover that understands me no matter what

Now, we're sitting under the tree, where I first knew his name

"Mikhael, under the same tree, I wanted to ask you again, will you be my lover?" he asks me while holding my hand

I couldn't speak and nodded as an answer to him

He kissed my hand and started to cry after hearing my answer

"I'll love you forever, Mikhael. I'll never treat you like you parents did, I'll never betray you and you'll be the only one in my heart" he promised to me

I retreated my other hand and pat his head, "I'll also love you forever, I'll take care of you wether you like it or not, I'll love you even when it hurts and fully understand you. I'll be your ally, Philip"

Philip let out a chuckle and hold my cheek, his smile is making me feel like I'm loved, "I'm so lucky to have you as a lover..Mikhael, you're more beautiful than the trees or seas because your hair and eyes represents the both of them. You're the prettiest person I know and will always be. Mikhael, you're my world" he said and kissed my forehead

All of those words kept haunting me up to this day, all those words still make me feel butterflies. He gave all the things I want and need, but with the money he earns by killing people.

If only he stops and trusts me that I'll get him out of here then I'll still love him because that's my heart wants, I'll chose to love a murderer because that murderer became the reason for me to breathe and continue to live.

That murderer made me feel loved in a place that I've always known as hell. He became my light in this shitty world.