Episode 11.5 Part 1. Challenges

The sun was glaring from the sky over the yard of the Momoi home. Tomo was fanning himself, wishing his grandparents had air conditioning. He also felt a deep sorrow thinking of the fact that it could be the last time he visited his grandparents at this house. It was a house filled with memories of him and Ken.

“Grandma, I heard you’re moving.”

“Ken-chan must have told you.”

Tomo turned to the lady seated on the floor by the table. She was smiling at him. “He did. Why didn’t you tell me? Sawa and my sisters don’t seem to know either.”

“There’s a time for everything, Kyou-chan.”

“You didn’t plan on telling us after the move, did you?”

She laughed. “Of course not. You come here frequently, so you would notice eventually. And you see Ken-chan and Kou-chan often, so it would reach you either way. Assuming your father didn’t tell you first.”

“What will happen to the house?”

“Nothing. It’ll remain Momoi property.”

“So Shinnosuke-san’s taking it back?”

The old woman laughed but said nothing to confirm Tomo’s great-grandfather was going to take back the responsibility of the house he had given his oldest daughter, Chitose, when she married Fujinosuke. Shouji had grown up there, rebelled against his great-grandfather, brought his children for his parents to look after, Kouta and Ken had spent a lot of their childhood there. All six of them shared rooms with someone else; Ken’s room was Tomo’s room. Chiyo and Chika shared one. And Shouji and Kouta had one, though they rarely used it. It was still there, two beds cramped into it, for them to use.

Tomo looked out again, studying the bushes moving in the breeze that did nothing to lessen the heat.

All the memories made him think about the oddities in his life: his family situation, himself, and his mutual love for Ken.

“What love is wicked love, grandma?”

“The one that hurts others. But you already know that.”

“What if society thinks it’s bad and tries to tear apart those who love each other?”

“That’s a wicked society, not wicked love.” Tomo turned back and saw a knowing smile. “Have you found someone you care for?”

“Perhaps.”

“Who is the lucky one?” His grandmother’s eyes wrinkled as she smiled more. “Or the unlucky one?”

“Ken.”

His grandmother laughed. “I thought so. You sure take after your father, Kyou-chan.”

Tomo looked at his grandmother in confusion. “What do you mean?”

But the elderly woman said no more.

***

Tomo looked at the clothes he had. His wardrobe at his grandmother’s was considerably smaller than the one at home. He looked through several pieces, trying them on only to realise they were too small.

He laid what suited him on the bed, looking at them critically.

He didn’t want to look like he had spent an hour on choosing just one garment. He also had a time to keep.

A chuckle interrupted his thoughts as he held his chin in thought. Turning around he found his grandmother in the doorway.

“Did you need help with anything?”

“No. I just heard the noise and came to see if something was the matter, but it seems not.”

“I’m just… going out with some friends.” His heart raced at the thought, a mixture of excitement and anxiety. “It’s a little difficult to choose…”

“Didn’t you bring anything with you, Kyou-chan? I believe your father said you had some with you?”

Tomo tilted his head and then shone up. His grandmother was right. He went up to hug her gently, receiving one in return with the arm not supporting her weight on the cane. The woman laughed.

He excitedly put the clothes he had brought with him — most from the brand Tatsumi almost exclusively wore — on the bed, and looked over them, feeling more excited about his going out. He picked out a grey, bunny-themed short-sleeved hoodie that he had brought, mainly to wear around the house, and a pair of black and grey shorts, with a splash of baby blue.

Just as he was about to dress he got a text and saw that it was time to meet up. In a hurry he got dressed, said bye to his grandparents, and hurried out, while putting on a cap and throwing his bag over his shoulder.

***

“Tomo, you’re so cute.”

He felt like his chest would burst when Ken greeted him, but he couldn’t jump into his arms for a hug. Yuu and Furukawa were there too. And they were right outside the train station.

“Ken, Yuu, Furukawa-san! Did you wait?” he greeted them, trying to seem normal.

Ken smiled and leaned just a little closer. “I’d gladly wait for eternity if that meant I would meet with you, Tomoki-san.”

He chuckled, both from the joy and the nervousness. It felt like he had forgotten how to be ‘normal’.

“Yo, Momocchi! You’re late.”

Yuu had asked Ken for pointers, as he didn’t enjoy his time with Furukawa. Ken had then asked Tomo along, so he didn’t feel like a third wheel, or awkward because he didn’t know Yuu or Furukawa very well.

They had come separately because it would seem less strange when Tomo was the only one who didn’t live in the area.

Even if Tomo had tried to dress lightly, it was really hot. Even more so because he had hurried.

“Seki-kun, I didn’t know you had pink glasses!”

“It’s the first time you wear them outside the house, isn’t it?” Yuu asked.

Tomo rubbed his fingers against each other as he looked down. “Is it weird?”

“Not at all! They suit you, Seki-kun!”

Ken put his arm around Tomo’s shoulder. “You’re totally cute! What piercings are you wearing?”

Tomo turned his head and put strands of hair behind his ear.

“The studs you gave me a while ago, and the rose earrings Shouji brought back from Italy.”

He didn’t need to mention the pair that matched Ken’s.

“Is Shouji your boyfriend, Tomo?” Furukawa asked.

First, the question surprised him. Tatsumi had suggested several times that Tomo might have a boyfriend, but it was the first time someone else asked something implying he might swing that way.

Then he chuckled.

“No. Remember when we talked about the story behind me, Ken and Saku-chan? Shouji’s Naomichi, my father. It’s his nickname.”

He had a boyfriend though, and right there with them too. He glanced at Ken, who studied him with a warm gaze, still with his arm around his shoulders.

“The roses were for my sister, but she forced them on me.”

“He owes me ten thousand yen now,” Ken laughed as he let go of Tomo. “I said she wouldn’t.”

“Let’s go. We need to decide what we’ll do,” Yuu said and began walking away from the station.

“Wait! We didn’t have anywhere specific to go, right?"

“We didn’t decide on anything.”

“Then I have somewhere I wanna go. Ken, will you help me choose this time too?”

He looked at the boy next to him and Ken grinned.

“Any time, Tomo.”

***

Furukawa put a pair of frames on her and turned to her childhood friend. “Yuu, how do I look?”

“They’re just glasses,” he grunted in response.

“Airi-chan, I think you should try something else. Let’s see... These maybe?” Ken suggested a similar pair and Airi tried them on.

“Wow! That made such a difference. You’re great at this, senpai!”

“Call me Kenta.”

Tomo grabbed Ken’s arm and glared up at him.

Ken looked at Tomo in surprise, then gave him an apologetic smile and shrugged.

“Or, you can just call me Yama instead of Yamada, like Sakkun does. Though Kenta’s fine, too. Lots of people call me Kenta.”

Tomo glanced at Yuu before he continued glaring, now putting his free hand on his hip.

“Let’s see what would fit the world’s most adorable person, who actually needs glasses.” Ken looked around the store, still with Tomo holding his arm.

“Are you looking for glasses for yourself?” a sneaky salesperson asked Ken, which made Tomo wince, letting go of Ken.

“Ah, no. This person here wanted a lilac pair of frames. We’re looking for a pair similar or identical in style as the currently worn pair.”

He grabbed Ken’s shirt and rubbed it with his fingers.

Tomo couldn’t handle situations when people would likely assume him to be this or that, and he wouldn’t come home with a pair he liked or wanted. So Ken acted as his shield.

“So you came with your girlfriend to help her! That’s very nice of you!” the clerk said enthusiastically.

“I guess…” Ken said with an awkward smile.

“Would you mind removing your glasses?”

Tomo let go of Ken. The salesperson looked at his face and picked out a few frames.

“Please, try these.”

“That, that and that pair won’t look good. And please use their current glasses as a reference.” Ken pointed, knowing through experience what suited Tomo, both considering his face and his person. It wasn’t too long since Tomo had gotten his green pair either, and he had naturally brought Ken then as well. “Also, we would preferably pick glasses that aren’t necessarily men’s or women’s.”

“Ah, yes! Of course.”

The salesperson began walking around to pick something out.

“Momo-chan, finding anything?”

“We got caught, Ken,” Tomo muttered.

“I’ll get us out as soon as possible. Though you can always run away.”

“What happened?” Airi asked, but they didn’t have time to reply.

“Here we go. Please, try these instead,” the salesperson returned with lots of different colours and styles.

“Unless there is a lilac option, please put everything back.”

The salesperson left with some frames and Tomo tried some on. The salesperson came back with a new selection and Tomo frowned.

He quickly changed to his pair and dragged Ken away. He chose the escape option.

“Miss girlfriend!”

***

Yuu fanned himself, Furukawa held a drink toward him, Tomo stared into his thighs and Ken hesitated on whether to put his hand on Tomo’s or not. They were all sitting on a bench shadowed by trees in a small park.

“Is it always this tiring to look at glasses?”

“I think it’s because they kept assuming Seki-kun is a girl.”

While he had found a pair, this time had been particularly vexing and he even felt hateful.

“Momo-chan, it wasn’t you. It was the salespeople. You aren’t strange or anything.”

“Yuu’s right, Tomo.” Ken put his arm around his shoulders. It was comforting, but not making it any better.

“They thought I was a girl.”

And Ken’s girlfriend.

“I know I’m kind of short, but…”

“We know you’re a guy. There are plenty of short guys,” Yuu offered as reassurance.

Ken gently, yet firmly, held Tomo’s chin and made him look up and into Ken’s brown eyes.

“When Momo-san’s heart sheds tears, the world becomes all so much darker, and the heat all the more scorching. Brighten the day and cool our souls with the blessed smile of yours. Nothing would ease any suffering of mine more.”

Tomo flushed. “This isn’t the café. Doing that here is extremely embarrassing.”

“But it’s true. Unless I can see your smile, my world becomes so unbearably dark. Is there no way for me to lighten it, but wait for Momo-san to smile for me again?”

“Senpai, I think it’d help if you stopped that. Even I’m getting embarrassed.”

“Is this what you do at work? What more do you do? I want to see!”

Both of them turned to Furukawa, and Tomo made Ken let go. Her eyes twinkled in excitement.

“Airi, this isn’t one of your comics.”

“But they look so good together!”

He chuckled and tapped Ken’s arm. He turned, studied Tomo and then shrugged with a face saying there was nothing to worry about.

“If you’d like, why not stop by real quick before we go home? As long as we’re careful to not get recognised, it’s fine.”

“I’ll message niisan to keep a private table open for us.”

“While at it, tell Kouta that Shouji said he wanted to meet up.”

“Why can’t you and your father just come over?”

“We don’t want to trouble Keiko. And Kouta doesn’t live there, anyway.”

“You know my mother is looking forward to seeing you both. And you’re visiting grandma, but you haven’t even come over.”

“I don’t have to go over every time.”

“But I don’t get to see you every day during the summer.” Ken looked sad.

“We still call, don’t we?” Tomo tried to comfort him.

“I’ve been wondering about this for a while now…” Furukawa said hesitantly and both of them turned to her and Yuu. “Are you boyfriends for real?”

Tomo instantly felt like he was choking, and Ken froze. Tomo flipped through what they had done since they met up, trying to find where they went wrong. Ken likely did the same.

“Didn’t I say they weren’t?” Yuu asked. “Multiple times.”

They look at each other. Since when had she thought they were a couple?

“They seem closer now and they’re already close at school. It makes me feel you’re wrong.” Furukawa turned back to them. “So, are you boyfriends?”

Tomo wasn’t really a liar and not an actor, so he forced a smile as he shrugged. “Who knows?”

He relied on Ken now. Certainly Ken could get them out of the situation. He would have his act together. He would have turned around the possible scenarios around so much he had actually prepared for this. He only froze because he was taken by surprise.

But instead of any followup from Ken, he saw Yuu’s eyes widened as he looked from Tomo to the older boy.

Ken looked away, covering his mouth with his hand. His cheeks had turned pink, which was adorable, but it was definitely a dead giveaway.

“Who knows?” he eventually echoed.

***

Tomo pointed at a display with nail polish and nail stickers. “Furukawa-san, I think the Lovely Lily series would look good on you.”

“You are so stubborn about calling me ‘Furukawa-san’ today. You don’t even do that at school. You can call me Airi or ‘Ai-chan’.”

“Ah…”

He looked away, feeling guilty for not feeling comfortable enough to be familiar with people. He tried at school, but had failed from the sound of it.

“Momo-chan, why don’t I bring Airi to your place so we can do our summer homework? We can call Hana-chan and Tatsumi over too.”

The horror he felt at that idea made him sick. “I’ll think about it,” he squeezed out through his lips.

Ken squeezed his hand.

They had naturally just taken each other’s hands on the way to the café. Tomo had only noticed when they stopped by at a store when Furukawa had suddenly said she wanted to look at nail polish. He realised the girl, who had walked backwards at times, turned around, bounced and otherwise reminded Tomo of an excited puppy on a walk, must have seen it, but wasn’t sure when.

“Let me know if you’re going to study, so I can join you. I need to ask Chika about some stuff too… is my excuse, but I need to make sure she actually manages to solve at least one problem or something. And get my homework done while at it. Your sister is embarrassingly stupid at times.”

Tomo looked surprised at Ken. “You can just do whatever for your homework, Ken. You already have a university to go to so as long as your grades aren’t bad, it’s fine. The teachers have given up on you studying, anyway.”

“I thought I’d try to do it seriously for once.” He walked to the display, pulling Tomo along. “Tomo, I think this would look cute on you.”

That ended the conversation about the subject, which only increased Tomo’s curiosity. Knowing Ken, however, he wouldn’t be able to find out.

“We’re looking for nail polish for Furukawa, though?”

“I think you should look, Seki-kun. You already wear clear polish all the time.”

How did she know that? Had Sakura talked behind his back about it?

Furukawa pulled Yuu along to the display. “Yuu, which would look good on Seki-kun?”

He looked annoyed, with an eyebrow raised. It was an expression Tomo had never seen before, that perhaps Yuu only made when with Airi.

“You told Momo-chan to call you Airi, but you call him Seki.”

“You’re right,” Airi giggled. “But pick one now, Yuu.”

“Whatever works for him, right? It doesn’t matter.”

Tomo shook his head. “I don’t need any. I can’t wear anything but clear at school.”

“It’ll be fine, Tomo. You always look at them, so why not try?”

Tomo flushed. “I don’t look at nail polish!”

“You do every time you buy makeup for work. I’m not blind, you know.” Ken sounded serious.

“Seki-kun can be very girly.” Furukawa chuckled.

Tomo turned abruptly around. “I’ll go look at stationary.”

Ken pulled him back and put his arm around Tomo’s shoulders in a comforting hug. “Airi didn’t mean it like that. You know that, Tomo.”

“It still hurts,” Tomo mumbled, looking away.

“Oh! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I guess a boy wouldn’t want to be called girly.”

Tomo felt a lump in his throat. He wanted to say he wasn’t a boy. He hated to be called a boy too. But he needed to be one. So if anything, he should be boyish. Girly meant he wasn’t doing a very good job passing as a boy.

It was frustrating and confusing to be Momoi Tomoki. Did other people struggle this hard to fit in?

“Yeah, you’re right,” he forced himself to mutter.

“No,” Ken said at the same time, and it’s possible the other two didn’t hear Tomo at all. “Don’t use ‘boy’.”

He turned to Ken, who was watching Yuu and Furukawa. He felt how he started to have a hard time to breathe. He wanted to run. He tried to leave, but Ken refused to let go. It was making his anxiety worse. Why had Ken said something like that?

“Tomo is Tomo,” he continued. “He’s not boyish or girly, he’s Tomo-like. Sakkun isn’t boyish either, is she? She’s Sakkun-like.”

Furukawa put her finger against her chin. “If you put it like that, you’re right. Hana-chan would be Hana-like. More Yuu-like than Airi-like. That’s a pretty nice way of thinking about it, and it doesn’t hurt feelings, does it? Hana-chan didn’t like when Minori-chan said she sounded a bit boyish.” She looked thoughtfully at Ken while saying her thoughts out loud.

Yuu, on the other hand, was silently watching Tomo, who noticed he was doing counts with his fingers.

1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4. Oh, he was telling Tomo to focus on his breathing. In, 2, 3, 4. Out, 2, 3, 4.

He felt how he started to relax. It seemed Yuu hadn’t put much attention to what Ken had said but rather was worried about Tomo. He knew how bad his anxiety could get and perhaps he noticed that Ken had forcibly kept him there.

“Calmer now, Momo-chan?” he asked after a while and Furukawa turned to them.

“What was that?” she asked. “Did you say something, Yuu?”

“Nothing.” He crossed his arms in front of his chest and his weight shifted to one leg. “So, eh, nail polish, right? What do you want, Airi?”

Ken picked up a red one. “Don’t you think this would look nice, Yuu?” He tried to make Yuu engage more than just wait in boredom. That was why he had come along in the first place.

“I guess…” Yuu said hesitantly after some thought.

Tomo, still with Ken’s arm around his shoulder, looked at the colours. He was here to help Yuu… in a sense, anyway. And Yuu had just helped him so he needed to return the favour.

“So you think this would look good on Furukawa?” He pointed to a bottle with a dark green colour.

Yuu reacted immediately this time. “That’s not Airi’s colour. That one,” he pointed to a deep purple one, “is more something she’d like, I think. Right, Airi?”

The girl looked surprised and she nodded in shocked silence. Tomo couldn’t help but wonder how Yuu was struggling with spending time with her. It seemed he knew her likes and dislikes and should have been able to spend time just fine.

“I’m not sure it’d work for me, Yuu. Isn’t it a bit dark?”

“You like it so why would it matter what others think?”

“Yuu… That’s not like you.”

“Maybe I’ve changed.” He threw a glance at Tomo before he continued speaking with the girl he liked. “I’ll pay for it, so you should wear it sometimes.”

***

Yuu was carrying Furukawa’s bags. Once he started to be more active with some guidance from Ken, he actually smiled now and then. But at times he was definitely extremely bored.

“Momo-chan, let’s see if we can find you some clothes you like.”

Tomo shook his head furiously. “No, I don’t need anything.”

“Then let me spoil you,” Ken said.

“You already bought me two nail polishes, that’s enough.”

Furukawa put her hands on Tomo’s shoulders and began pushing him into a clothing store. “Let me see what you’d buy! And let me choose things for you to try!”

“Eh... I don’t really want to.”

“Accessories then,” Ken suggested.

He gave Tomo a helpless smile. He had given up on controlling where Airi wanted to go. On top of that, they had somehow gotten further away from the café than when they had begun walking in that direction.

“Ah, well... We could at least have a look…” Tomo replied with hesitation.

He was worried they’d pick things that were ‘girly’ or ‘boyish’, or just simply things that would make others see him as gay or weird. He didn’t want to be weird. He didn’t want to be called things he was not.

As they walked past the fitting rooms, a girl in twintails burst out of one so suddenly it made him jump.

“Doesn’t this look absolutely amazing?! It’s fabulous!” she exclaimed.

He saw she was wearing her overalls backwards, and the salesperson tried to, as politely as possible, tell her.

“This is how they are worn! How could it be otherwise?” she told the salesperson. “You’re wrong!”

Well... He could only suppose that whatever they got he wouldn’t be that weird… right?

***

Tomo stood back while Ken, Yuu and Furukawa looked for hair accessories. He feared exactly this situation; certainly they’d force him into something girly. Only Ken knew not to force it on Tomo. He’d choose something Tomo would feel safe with wearing, and never ask him to wear it.

He pulled up the hood, letting the bunny ears droop down on the sides of his head, and pulled down the cap, protecting his head from whatever they could possibly give him.

“Tomo, what do you think—” Ken stopped in the middle of the sentence when he saw Tomo. “What are you doing?” The corners of his mouth moved upwards and his smile reached his eyes, turning it to an amused look.

“Um... Nothing?”

Still smiling, Ken held up a studded headband in his hand in a beige, red and green irregular pattern.

“Saku-chan would like that!” Tomo exclaimed.

“Doesn’t it kinda remind you of zombies?” he grinned. “Exactly how she likes it.”

“Hana-chan? She never told me.”

“Ah… well…” Ken turned to the other two. “She keeps it as well hidden as her friendship with Tomo. Speaking of which, what do the first-years think of Tomo? The third-years think he’s cute, ‘specially guys, but it’s odd he’s friends with me.”

“I think our class is okay,” Yuu said.

“In the beginning, they thought him to be cool but depressing, but after Yuu made friends with Seki-kun, it has changed because we’ve seen many sides of him now. I think he’s pretty popular. Not like ‘Would you like to date him?’ or ‘Is he prettier than the girls?’ popular, but ‘Is he really a guy?’ kind of popular… I suppose that makes him infamous…” Furukawa frowned at the last sentence.

“So I’m a topic? I guess that’s an improvement.” Tomo had walked up to the hair accessories to look for something else that might be of Sakura’s liking.

“You’ve had it tough,” Yuu agreed thoughtfully.

Tomo turned to him, only to see him put a pink headband back where he had gotten it. He felt his anxiety come back. He took hold of Ken’s shirt and fiddled with the fabric nervously, which made the boy turn to him with a concerned look. Had they been alone, he would most likely have held him and nuzzled his hair to comfort him.

“Can I leave? I don’t feel okay.”

“Sure, but if you do, I’ll go with you.” He leaned towards Tomo and whispered: “I don’t think Yuu’d force you to wear anything you wouldn’t be comfortable with. He’s looking pretty seriously and has put back a lot of things I could have put on your head at work. Airi’s excited, but she sees you as a guy, so I don’t think she’ll pick out anything for you.”

Tomo gripped Ken’s shirt tighter and pulled down his cap.

“I guess I’ll stay for a while.”

“I’ll make sure we’ll go as soon as you can’t handle it anymore,” Ken assured him quietly. “Promise.”