Episode 11.5 Part 5: Fear

Shouji found Tomo and Ken seated next to each other on the sofa in the living room. They held hands, unable to relax while expecting Watanabe to come down.

“Are you running away?”

“No, they’re helping with cooking.”

“They sure don’t look like they’re helping.”

“I gave them a break.”

They had peeled vegetables until their hands felt sore, and Ichirou had told them to sit down.

The noise of steps came down the stairs and Tomo turned around to see Tatsumi walking into the kitchen.

“Ichirou-san! Oh, and Shouji-san. My mother said I can eat here. She also wanted to talk to Mo— Tomoki-kun’s parent.”

The boy looked between the men, holding out his phone.

“Ask what she wants, so we know if it’s me, Naomichi-kun or Sawa-san she wants to talk to.”

Tatsumi put the phone to his ear. “Did you hear that? …Uh… Ichirou-san is Momoi-kun’s stepfather, Sawa-san is his mother and Shouji-san is his father.—Naomichi-san is Shouji-san, mum. No, Ichirou-san and Sawa-san are Seki-san and Shouji-san is Momoi-san.”

Once Shouji sat down at the table and Ichirou’s gaze focused on Tatsumi, the only sound in the room came from Tatsumi’s phone and the puttering of dinner cooking on the stove. Ken’s grip of Tomo’s hand tightened a bit the longer they waited. A troubled look filled Tatsumi’s face, and he looked between Shouji and Ichirou once again.

“I don’t know who you want to talk to, but I don’t think it’s Sawa-san.”

The man at the dining table waved for him to come over.

“I’m giving the phone to one of them, so you can figure out who it is you want to talk to.”

He handed the phone over, before turning to Tomo and Ken to sit down on the sofa.

“Hello? Momoi Naomichi speaking.”

“So Shouji-nii does use that sometimes.”

“‘Shouji’ is for friends. If it’s not someone he’s close to, it’s either someone who knows about through a shared friend, or someone suspicious. It’s like I know it’s a relative, someone who knows a relative or someone suspicious if I'm called Kyou.”

“Should I call Shouji-san Naomichi, then?”

“No, it’s fine. You’re a friend of ours.”

“If Tatsumi-kun can sleep over?” Shouji repeated, and the three of them looked over toward the dining table. Ichirou nodded as Shouji turned to the man. “That’s fine, but if that was it you should have spoken to Ichirou-san.”

“She could’ve just asked me to ask them, but I have to go home and get things, so that’s kinda odd, right? It’s not like—”

“Excuse me?”

Tomo looked from Tatsumi to his father and saw Shouji’s expression grow dark.

“I believe you asked for a parent, and what my relationship is to my ex-wife and her husband is none of your business.”

Confused, Tomo turned back to Tatsumi, who shook his head.

“Whether I’m related to some ‘Momoi Shinnosuke’ isn’t your concern either. Thank you for letting your son stay over. Goodnight.”

Shouji stood up, walked to the glass half-wall behind the sofa, and gave the phone over to Tatsumi while they heard that she was still speaking. Tatsumi hung up, looking apologetic.

“Sorry about that,” Shouji said.

“No, I didn’t realise I’d cause any trouble.”

“You didn’t, Tatsumi. I assume your mother works in real estate?”

“I think so.”

“That explains why she’d connect me to my grandfather.”

“Why?”

“Momoi Shinnosuke is a landowner,” Ichirou-san explained. “If you two don’t want to return upstairs, I need some more help.”

While they hurried back to the kitchen, Tatsumi laughed as he stood up to return upstairs.

“Tatsumi-kun, do you know anything about what Watanabe’s family has said?”

“He hasn’t contacted them yet. He lives kinda far, so I think he’s trying to stay over by asking too late. It would be like him.”

“Is there any particular reason for him not to want to go home?”

“Aside from not taking the train? No. Yuu and I worried before, but he just really hates taking the train. He stayed over Yuu’s once and complained the entire time about how he still had to take the train to get there. We also needed to take the train for a game with the club and he complained the entire way.”

Ichirou smiled. “Well then. I’m sure Haruka-kun next door would love a new friend over.”

Tomo got chills down his spine. Haruka’s passion for psychological horror equalled Sakura’s for her horrific collections, and he was equally willing to share.

“That tone is frightening,” Shouji said, where he sat at the dining table once again, now with a mug.

Ichirou cleared his throat. “My apologies. I’m not trying to scare your children’s friends.”

Shouji’s arched eyebrows and the way he put down the mug again, when he had only just lifted it, to stare at Ichirou mirrored very well how Tomo felt hearing that statement.

***

“Why can Suzuki stay over here and I have to sleep in Hanakawa’s brother’s bedroom?” Watanabe whined.

“I’m very sorry, Keitarou-kun, but without knowing in advance, I didn’t have time to prepare another futon. The guest bed and the futon are already in use. Had you just let me know earlier… I won’t let you take a single step into Chiyo-san’s bedroom. Enter, and I will call the police.”

Watanabe turned to Tomo. “He’s joking, right?” he whispered

“Perhaps? He worked for the police until he married my mother, so maybe he would call the police.”

Sakura and Sayoko grabbed Watanabe’s wrists.

“It’s decided. Let’s throw you into Haru’s room,” said Sayoko.

Sakura grinned widely. “Natsu-nii’s too busy to have guests.”

“I’m certain that if you tried to stay in Fuyuki’s room or Akira’s room, Ichirou-san would call the police.”

Tomo looked at Ken, who wore the same half-hearted smile as he did. “We’ll follow you there to introduce you.”

Both of them felt sorry for Watanabe, but they also knew that there wasn’t really any room for another person to stay over at Tomo’s with Ken pretending to sleep separately from Tomo as to not raise strange suspicions.

Meanwhile, the girls enjoyed it too much. Tomo wasn’t certain why Sayoko would enjoy it, while Sakura likely felt the same way about Haruka’s horror collection as Tomo and Ken felt about Sakura’s collection of grotesque… things.

Nothing gave Tomo worse nightmares than Sakura’s and Haruka’s choice of entertainment.

He peered at Ichirou who, now that no one looked at him, had a troubled expression rather than a polite by frosty smile. When he noticed Tomo’s gaze he smiled gently, but when Tomo threw another look at the man, the same worried expression was back.

He tapped Ken’s arm as they walked through the gate out of the Seki-Momoi yard. “Do you think he’s actually worried about Watanabe?” he asked quietly.

“Who?”

He motioned back to the closed door.

“Why?”

“He looked troubled.”

Ken looked over his shoulder for a moment while he thought. “Wouldn’t surprise me.”

***

Ken opened the door to Haruka’s room after he knocked. “Haru-nii! How have you been?”

Haruka turned to them with a bright smile. “Ken-chan! It’s been a while! I’m good! How are you? And Tomo-chan too! Need to borrow any books?”

Like both Ken and Yuu, Haruka liked making friends, so his smile brightened and his eyes glittered when he noticed the strangers.

“Hello! Nice to meet you, guys! I’m Haruka. You can call me Haru. What are your names? Hey, Ken-chan, introduce me to your friends.”

Then, however, he saw Sayoko.

“Oh.”

It was as if a switch had turned and he had a frosty look on his face. The two had been on good terms when they had been younger, but suddenly it seemed like they hated each other’s company.

Sayoko pushed Watanabe into the room, making him stumble. Fortunately for him, he kept himself on his feet. Unfortunately, he didn’t know what was to come.

“What do you want?” Haruka said while staring at Watanabe like the boy had ruined his day.

“Watanabe Keitarou stayed too late, and Ichirou-san says there isn’t enough space for this kid. There’s a Suzuki-something (“It’s Suzuki Tatsumi,” Tatsumi pointed out.) in the guest room and Ken sleeps in Tomoki’s room. You’re not going to suggest for him to sleep in Chika’s bed, are you, Haru?”

Haruka shined up and beamed a smile. His mood was considerably better.

“Sakura, do you have anything in your collection to celebrate this occasion?”

“Which one?” asked Sakura.

“The collection.”

Ken glared at Sakura. “Don’t traumatise your classmate.”

Tomo nodded. “That’s a bit too much. If you want to watch a film, pick something more normal.”

Ken gave him a look that said: “You think these two know what ‘normal’ even means?”

“Good enough. I got a new film the other day, actually. I haven’t had time to watch it. Having company would make it better. Are you cool with something slightly scary?”

“Slightly? You know I still have nightmares from your ‘slightly’ scary film last year, Haru-nii?”

Watanabe looked absolutely terrified, but Tomo tried to smile reassuringly.

“It’s just a film. It’s not going to be that bad. Haru will be here the entire time.”

Ken gave him another look, and he elbowed him in return. He hated to admit he was perhaps slightly enjoying the thought of someone suffering the same fate as he and Ken had so many times before. And Haruka’s psychological horror films were always better than Sakura’s collection. He’d choose the former any day.

Nonetheless, Tomo hesitated before he said: “Sleep well.”

It turned out to be the most ironic thing he’d say in his entire lifetime.

***

Tastumi followed Tomo and Ken into Tomo’s room to talk for a bit, and paused at the door.

“Couldn’t Kei have stayed here?”

Tomo sat down on his bed and smiled awkwardly. “How would you explain the lack of futon in my room if he for any reason came in here?”

“Or found me sleeping with Tomo in my arms? And in his bed?”

He pinched Ken’s cheek. “Don’t say it out loud. It’s embarrassing when you don’t shut up. He probably already figured it out, anyway.” He turned to Tatsumi as he let go of Ken’s cheek. “Um… Just so you know, we’ve kind of always shared the bed. So it’s not weird. Or it is but…”

Tatsumi laughed. “It’s cool. I get it.”

“Shouji also knows we sleep in the same bed. He probably expected nothing else in the first place. But we haven’t really said anything to Sawa or Chika.”

“It would be a problem if Yuki-nee finds out we never stopped.”

“Yeah… I really don’t want Chiyo to know about it. She was so persistent in the past about how we should have grown out of it.”

“Shouji-nii and grandma knows better than to mention it, and Ichirou-san doesn’t seem like he’d mention it, since he only mentioned anything about it… twice, right?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m surprised Ichirou-san allows that. He doesn’t seem like the type.”

“I bet he would banish me from the very country if he found out I did anything inappropriate. I really like Tomo as a person, but I don’t want to do that kinda stuff with him.”

“But you two kiss?”

Tomo blushed, and Ken covered his mouth.

“Kissing is different,” Ken eventually muttered, breaking the long silence.

The room fell silent again right away as Tatsumi studied Tomo. Then he seemed to realise something.

“What is it?”

“I was just wondering if you had told senpai you’re nonbinary, but then realised he works with you, so it’s obvious you have.”

“Well…” Tomo looked at Ken, who smiled.

“Always kinda knew because Tomo’s always been in my life. Besides, I was the one who told Tomo there’s such a thing.” Ken put his arm around Tomo’s waist, pulling him closer to nuzzle his hair.

Tomo’s cheeks turned hot. He had done nothing like that in front of people outside Tomo’s family, and even then almost only in front of his grandparents. And now the boy, who found out they were together that day, got to see Ken be his usual, very clingy self.

He hadn’t had the time to mention he let Tatsumi know about the kissing, but from the way Ken acted, he was very comfortable with him. They both figured he had already picked up on their relationship.

“Ken, we’re not alone,” he said, trying to hide his embarrassment.

“Can’t I do this in front of Tatsumi? What can I do?”

He turned to Tomo’s classmate. Tomo only knew because he didn’t feel Ken talking into his hair.

“It’s fine for me. PDA doesn’t bother me. Yuu might be a bit freaked though.” Tatsumi fell quiet, then opened his mouth and immediately closed it.

“What is it?”

“You know Kataoka retired, right?”

“I haven’t forgotten his sudden announcement, no. What about it?”

“The teacher replacing him is nonbinary. They’re called Wakabayashi Ryuu.”

“How do you know that?”

Tatsumi’s eyebrows shot up, and he laughed. “I thought that’s obvious. My dad’s the school director. Lots have been coming up to me after Yamamoto got fired and told me they wanted a teacher like this or like that. I told dad it seemed like a good idea to find a nonbinary teacher since Yamamoto harassed an androgynous-looking student. He thought it’s a brilliant idea to take a stance that's more ‘modern’. And with a reputation of being passionately working against harassment, a teacher harassing someone is… scandalous at best. Anyway, he couldn’t find a physical education teacher, but since Kataoka retired, he also needed a Japanese literature teacher and found Wakabayashi-sensei.”

“Did you get in because of your father then?” Ken asked.

Tomo frowned and poked him in the side. “That’s so rude.”

Tatsumi laughed. “Nah. I wouldn’t have been even if I had told dad. I mean, the entrance exam’s digital and we only do it at the school so no one can cheat the system by sending someone else. I did the entrance exam because I wanted to get into a good school, not because I wanted to be at B High specifically.”

“He still asked for your opinion.”

“He’s always done that. I just could give him better advice since I know what happened. Whether he would follow it was a gamble.”

“Thanks, Tatsumi.”

“I hope that’ll make things easier for you and anyone else at our school that might suffer.” The boy smiled. “Hopefully, the school will improve overall to be more inclusive.”

“I hope so too,” Ken agreed and nuzzled Tomo’s hair again.

He sighed but had a smile on his face, even leaning closer to Ken. Tatsumi grinned.

***

He stretched out on the bed, feeling content in a way he hadn’t expected to feel when they had decided on the study group. He looked at Ken laid beside him, seeing Ken’s gaze was soft as he had propped his cheek up with his.

“He’s not here anymore,” Ken whispered after a smile had built up.

“Huh? Who? Tatsumi? He went to bed, not home?”

Ken’s lips parted to show his teeth. “He’s not here anymore.”

Tomo didn’t have time to wonder what Ken was hinting at, because their lips were pressed together.

“Oh,” he said in a pant when Ken moved away from him. His heart pounded loudly and his face flushed. “You’re right. He’s not here anymore.”

He turned to his side as Ken watched him. The smile on Ken’s face grew wider. He put his hand on Tomo’s back and pulled him closer, taking Tomo’s hand in his other.

“This has been a while,” Tomo mumbled.

“Would you prefer to face my back? I don’t mind yours, but it’s very difficult to reach your lips.”

“Mm.”

He couldn’t look away from Ken’s brown eyes. Ken closed the distance again, slowly, making Tomo impatient. When their lips touched again, however, he forgot about it, his chest almost hurting while it felt like it was filled to the brim. He could think of nothing other than Ken kissing him. When Ken was pulling away, Tomo put his hand on Ken’s upper arm, staring at him. Ken smiled before their lips touched again.

If he had known how amazing it was to kiss Ken, he would have kissed him as soon as he thought of it.

Soon he was out of breath, but he didn’t want it to end. He wasn’t certain if he was making up for every time they hadn’t at the café, or if he was just being greedy. Either way, he liked it.

Though, he noticed a sensation he hadn’t expected. He tried to squirm himself free from Ken’s embrace.

Ken looked surprised at him. “What is it, Tomo?”

Tomo was embarrassed. Ashamed even.

“Nothing. Could we… uh… take a break?”

He turned around, facing the wall, after releasing Ken’s hand. He didn’t know what to do. He stared into the wall, feeling tears threaten to build up and his heart hammered for a very different reason.

“Tomo, did I do something?” Ken asked in a worried tone. “If I hurt you or—”

“No. It’s fine. It’s nothing.” He spoke a little too quickly for it to be ‘nothing’.

Ken sat up on the bed, the blanket slightly sliding off of Tomo as he did.

“Tomo...”

Tomo covered his flushed face.

He didn’t want Ken to know. He desperately didn’t want Ken to know. He was so ashamed he reacted like that when he knew Ken wanted nothing. It wasn’t as if he had wanted anything either, but…

“You know you can’t hide it’s something. Did I make you uncomfortable?”

He first tried to shake his head, but quickly gave up. “No.”

“Should I go ask Ichirou-san to get the futon for me? If you don’t want me in your bed, I’ll get out.”

“No, you can sleep here.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No, I don’t.”

“Are you angry?”

Why ask if he already knew Tomo didn’t want to talk about it?

“No, just give me some time. Really, I just need time.”

Ken laid back down. He was silent for a while.

“Can I touch you?”

“Where?!” he asked, his voice cracking.

“‘Where?’ I just wanted to hold you.”

“Oh… I guess that’s fine.”

Probably.

Ken didn’t move.

“Ken?”

No response.

Tomo removed his hands from his face to look at Ken over his shoulder..

That was when Ken asked.

“Did you get hard, Tomo?”

Tomo quickly pulled the blanket over his head. He wanted to disappear from the face of the earth.

Ken’s hand searched its way into Tomo’s pyjama top, and pulled him closer.

“You’re so fucking adorable, Tomo,” Ken said before he silently laughed.

“You’re… not disgusted?”

“It’s not gross. I promise.”

“It’s not because I want anything.”

“It would have been fine either way. Not that I would have done it.”

“I know.”

He slowly uncovered himself, and Ken nuzzled his hair.

“I truly like you, Tomo.”

“Yeah.”

“Will you turn around again?”

Hesitantly he did, and found a soft smile that was very unlike Ken, but his worries slowly faded away, though his face turned hotter for some reason.

“It’s okay no matter how many times that happens, Tomo. It’s natural.”

“Mm. Maybe I’m stupid.”

“No. You worried for my sake. I appreciate that. You don’t have to worry though. It could happen to anyone. Besides, it’s not the first time it happens. How long do you think we’ve known each other?”

“But it was different then... I mean… We’re different…”

“It’s a reaction. That’s it. Don’t worry about it. I don’t think it’s gross. For real.”

Ken gave him a quick peck on the nose.

Tomo pouted.

He chuckled and kissed him repeatedly until Tomo kissed him back. Ken pulled him closer again, nuzzling his hair, and then kissed him again.

It really didn’t seem to bother him at all, and Tomo relaxed, very glad it was Ken he had fallen in love with.