Episode Sakura I. Observer

Unlike Tomoki, Sakura sat in the middle of the classroom. To see him, she had to turn back. She couldn’t auspiciously look at him.

She made do with checking how everything looked when entering the classroom, during lunch break and during PE. She never had the opportunity when she went to school; if they saw one another when they were leaving, one of them would go back inside and wait.

When that happened, Tomoki just smiled apologetically.

It was equally difficult to catch him on the way home. He often went to work or home right after classes. A ghost member of the English Club, he rarely stayed until the end of the club activities. The English club didn’t have daily activities like the Drama Club either.

“Hana-chan, what are you looking at?”

Airi was turning around.

“Sorry, I just spaced out for thinking about Yama-senpai’s acting yesterday.”

As much as she hated to lose, she genuinely admired his acting. She also hated that they were friends, but she didn’t mind it either. It was easier to be his friend than Tomoki’s.

She threw a glance at the boy absentmindedly putting stray strands of his long, black hair behind his ear. He ate bread from the school’s store as he looked out of the window, avoiding looking at everyone. No one had sat even close to him when they first started the term, but a couple of days —maybe three or four — later Suzuki and Sakuraba’s group had usually used Kikuchi’s desk and chair to eat in a group. Suzuki sat in front of Tomoki and Kikuchi next to him, with Kamihara, Satou and Sakuraba close by.

Sakuraba and Suzuki were the only ones who’d try to speak to Tomoki, but they rarely got a reply from him, and when they did, it was mumbling.

It was no wonder the class thought he seemed gloomy. There were some who said he looked cool.

Sakura wasn’t so sure about ‘cool’. He was more the cute type, but perhaps they thought he was cool because of his piercings. He didn’t look as much of a girl as he had done before that thing happened, but he hadn’t yet had his growth spurt.

Or, well…

He seemed to have grown a bit in the past few months. He wasn’t aware of it yet, but he was clearly taller than she was, though they had been about the same height in middle school.

So she could admit he was a little manlier now than back then, if they solely went by his looks.

Other comments were things like whether he was a guy to begin with. She wanted to just grab the collar of any guys saying that, give them a good beating and maybe spit in their face, but she was trying to seem like any other girl. Any other girl wouldn’t pick fights with the guys. Not in high school anyway.

So she observed.

For now.

***

“Hana-chan, why are you looking at the boys?”

“Seki-kun’s hair,” Minori pointed out. “Yamamoto’s harassing him again.”

Tomoki shrank with every word that left the teacher’s mouth as he was being scolded. It never seemed to end, yet she understood why Tomoki wouldn’t want to cut it. He was already trying so hard to fit in by hiding his interests and wearing lenses.

“It’s totes BS guys can’t have long hair.”

Joining into their conversation was Katou. Sakura wasn’t sure what that girl’s deal was, but her bleached and curled hair was all over the place, while her makeup looked somewhat messy.

‘Trashy’ was how she would describe her.

“Yeah, Riririn’s right,” another girl chimed in. “Lots of guys have long hair these days. Like, what’s the problem?”

Sakura hushed. “You’re too loud. He’ll hear you.”

The girls quieted down. No one wanted to be Yamamoto’s next target.

Sakura clenched her fists, digging her nails into her hand. No matter how much she wanted to save him, she couldn’t do anything.

Had this back then, Tomoki would have just stared back, telling the teacher a piece of his mind, then gone to ask the principal to clarify if he was breaking the rules.

But it wasn’t. Instead, he got smaller and tried to avoid everyone.

No one agreed with the treatment and they were all tired of it, but it was a teacher. They couldn’t do anything.

She looked away only to see Yamada look at the scene from further away, carrying something, likely for his class. Someone must have called his name because he turned away from it and hurried with the things into the building. She could only imagine Yamada wanted to help as much as she did.

Once the scolding was over, Tomoki hurriedly left. He probably went to the infirmary or health teacher.

Again.

***

A week after that day when Tomoki suddenly came to school with shorter hair, it was still the talk of the class.

“It’s such a shame,” she heard some girls quietly say. “But even I would have cut my hair if Yamamoto pestered me that much.”

Yet, this kind of talk had quieted down. Most said Tomoki looked even gloomier, others said he was cooler now. She just saw someone who has clammed up even more. He seemed almost okay when he came by or was with her and Yamada, but at school he barely existed.

Sakura frequently asked herself how it was any different from middle school.

The answer was always the same: it wasn’t.

***

When she stepped into the classroom the day after Yamada had stopped by at the Seki-Momoi house, the first thing she saw was Tomoki chuckling. In front of him was Sakuraba, talking with him.

“Oh, morning, Hana-chan!” Sakuraba called out to her.

Tomoki’s laughter instantly died, and he hastily got to his desk, looking as bitter as ever. She wasn’t sure what just happened and Sakuraba looked as confused, but shrugged it off.

“Good morning, Sakuraba-kun,” Sakura said in the sweetest shy girl way she could.

In middle school the guys had called her ‘that violent girl’, and she didn’t want that kind of reputation in high school. It was painful to act like something else, but it would be better for her future, although she much rather was one of the guys. It seemed, though, like she could make more girl friends this way.

However, with Tomoki being the way he was, it was more painful that she could make friends, when it truly was he who needed them. She had friends elsewhere.

She sat down and glanced at Sakuraba, who had gone back to what he must have done before Tomoki came.

He was social and friends with everyone in class. Except Tomoki. So it didn’t surprise her he was the one Tomoki had been talking to. It seemed to make the most sense, actually.

Despite herself, she gave Sakuraba a mental cheer.

***

“Hasn’t Seki brightened up?”

“Maybe he didn’t want to be a lone wolf after all.”

“Do you think we dare to talk to him?”

“Isn’t he still kinda gloomy? What if he just randomly lashes out at you? Maybe he can only make friends online?”

“I talked to him,” Osako said. “He’s nice, but might need a little time. You should try.”

Sakura suppressed the urge to look at Osako with raised eyebrows. When had she talked to him?

“Sakuraba and Suzuki both talk to him. I’m sure he’s nice.”

The discussion on whether to approach him continued, with Sakura unable to contribute as she ‘didn’t know him’.

The general consensus in their class could be divided into two points: Tomoki seemed more pleasant and they might try to talk to him later, and the girls were glad Yamada came by frequently.

A lot of girls were more than happy about the latter.

She really didn’t get it.

It was that Yamada Kenta, rumoured to date any girl. Maybe it was his height? If so, Sakura still didn’t get it. What was so good about being tall?

She heard Tomoki laugh and turned automatically to see. Yamada must have said something because the third-year had a smug grin on his face.

Well… Yamada wasn’t a bad person, and she knew that better than anyone else, didn’t she? Perhaps this was his way of making sure Tomoki had friends while she couldn’t do much.

It didn’t affect Tomoki’s reputation, so it didn’t matter all that much.

As long as he was happy, she was at ease.