Episode 13. One Worth More Than This World

"Isn't Wakabayashi-sensei pretty handsome?"

"I think sensei looks pretty feminine. Can't really say that's handsome."

"How is sensei feminine? I don't see it?"

"The longer hair for one—!"

Tomo overheard a couple of second-years talk about the teacher as they walked by the bench he was seated on. It was getting colder and Yuu and Tatsumi were playing football with some other guys in class. Tomo had followed them out but preferred to watch as the boys were chasing the ball.

He wasn't going to run around for no reason.

Ken hadn't come to eat lunch since school started. He never seemed to be around and it made Tomo feel rather lonely. He hadn't been staying over either, although on a couple of days when he didn't have work he had studied with Chika.

Sakura said he hadn't gone to the drama club. Considering that his university entrance was going to be based on his acting, it seemed pretty odd that he didn't focus on that. Sure, it was already determined that he'd get in if he wanted to, but that didn't mean he shouldn't participate.

The third-years were suggested to stop club activities to focus on studying during the second term, but Ken didn't need to. Unless he wanted to do the entrance exams, yet he wasn't stupid so studying this much seemed odd.

It all was making Tomo a little anxious. Something seemed very wrong but he couldn't put his finger on it.

His shifts had also changed. The prior term Ken usually had three shifts; two on school days and one on Saturdays. Now the schedule said two full days on weekends. However, when Tomo had been there Ken hadn't been on the floor the entire time. He also didn't spend the rest of the time in the kitchen. It was strange, to say the least.

A sudden cold wind interrupted Tomo's train of thought and he shivered in his short-sleeved shirt. Abe Rieko from 1-A must have seen it because she came over from where she and her friends had been eating lunch.

Abe was one of the top students in his year, and while Tomo had done fairly well in his entrance exams, she had done considerably better. He knew this because she was in the A-class, and he was in the B-class.

"Seki-kun... Right?" she asked.

"Uh... Yes?"

He was surprised she knew his name. Yes, it had been one of the top fifty on the exams, and hence had been publicly displayed with his exam score, but it was just his name.

She took off her cardigan. It was a pale shade of warm pink; maybe a light shade of salmon pink would describe it the best. Not exactly his favourite colour, but who was he to judge?

"You seemed like you were feeling cold, Seki-kun." She put it over his shoulders before he even agreed to it. "It's probably a tiny bit small, but you can borrow it for a while to warm up."

She smiled kindly and looked over at Suzuki Tatsumi, Sakuraba Yuusuke, Satou Susumu and the other boys divided in teams of four, trying to score in their makeshift goals.

"It's your classmates playing around over there, right? They're all in the football club, aren't they? They're pretty good. I can understand why you don't want to just leave."

Tomo couldn't tell if they were good or not. To him, it just looked like they were chasing the ball. He saw Yuu score and high five Satou while Tatsumi groaned and Kikuchi Nao told Kamihara Okifumi to guard the goal better.

How they thought it was a fun pastime activity was beyond him.

"Ah, uhm, thank you very much?" he said to the girl looking at the boys.

"No problem. That colour really suits you, actually. It makes you look very feminine," Abe smiled.

She mumbled something but Tomo didn't have time to ask what she said before she turned back to her friends. They were laughing and giggling but Tomo couldn't hear their words.

He grabbed the top button on his shirt and fiddled with it, while staring into the ground. All he seemed to hear was his pulse beating in his ears and the giggling of the girls. He was gradually getting more and more nauseous and it seemed his throat was turning into a knot, making it difficult to breathe.

Running his hand through his hair, he pulled out the hairband Yuu had given him. He let go of the button and nervously rubbed the fabric covering the hairband. He felt strands of hair slowly finding their way to his face; he tried sweeping them away at first, trying to get them to stay behind his ear, but they kept falling into his face, covering his eyes. He could see the ground in front of the bench he was sitting on, but only barely.

He regretted having worn glasses this morning. He regretted going to school. He regretted even taking the entrance exam for it.

In the back of his mind he thought he was overreacting, but there was something with the mumble that freaked him out. How the colour suited him and made him look like a girl. The group of girls laughing.

He couldn't stand it anymore, and took off the cardigan, folded it and walked to the girls, trying to keep his breath stable.

"There really was no need for you to offer this. It's not so cold a breeze would be too harsh to sit through."

"Rie-chan was so nice to you and all! Coming here right away is like you're disgusted by the thought of wearing her cardigan!"

Tomo smiled nervously. What was he supposed to say?

"Oh, don't worry about it. I'm sure it's because it's pink," Abe said. "No boy would like to wear something that girly right? Unless he wanted to be a girl."

The girls giggled. "That's so true!"

"Thank you for the offer, but no thank you," he said as he put the cardigan on the blanket the girls were sitting on. "I'll be going now."

He turned around and before he was out of reach for their voices he heard:

"I bet he's gay."

He felt the taste of vomit in his mouth.

***

"Senpai! It's been a while! Done studying?" Tatsumi greeted Ken.

"I have caught up in every subject now, so I thought I'd stop by for a bit. To eat lunch, you know."

Tomo stared into his desk. He was happy that Ken came down to eat with them, but he also didn't want Ken to see him look like this. Or at all.

If he was around Tomo, Ken might get bullied or be told things that weren't true and Tomo didn't want that. He wanted to protect Ken from going through the same thing again because of him.

They didn't need to go through their middle school days all over again.

Tomo's hair was in his eyes. He kept sweeping it away, but would just fall into his face. But that might be better because if he tried to keep it behind his ear, his piercings were visible. He was back to wearing his tie and his cardigan was dark grey. He had also gone back to contacts, not even bothering bringing his glasses with him.

It felt like he was being crushed by the pressure. He needed not to stand out. He needed to make sure he wasn't anything but a boy.

He needed to avoid Ken, as much as it felt like it'd break his heart.

Abe Rieko would seem to just magically appear just to tell him what he was doing wrong. It felt like she was an evil villain, but he didn't have any powers to fight her or get rid of evil. He could only hide from her. Hide from society.

What she told him echoed in his head.

'Those glasses look pretty girly. Are they women's? I can't imagine finding any like that for men.'

'Hmmm... Are you trying to make others think you're a girl with that hair?'

'Using a hairband was kind of girly, but the way you put up your hair with a hair tie is also pretty gay. You're not gay, are you? That wouldn't be the case, right?'

'Blue eyes stand out a lot, don't they? Everyone's attention gets drawn right to you. Oh, but if you're a foreigner, shouldn't you be worried about looking Japanese? You'll lie to people like that.'

'I heard you don't change clothes with the other guys. Be careful, some will guess you're either a girl hiding her gender or that you're afraid of being seen by gay guys. Or perhaps you don't want to see theirs?'

Now he couldn't even bring himself to eat, because he didn't want to hear he ate like a girl, despite Abe Rieko not eating in his class. He'd be shocked if she did because she seemed to think the B-, C-, D- and F-classes were below her.

'You got 30 on the entrance exams, right? Are you alright? Ending up in B class while being 30 on the entrance exam... I'm worried for you. I mean, you don't seem to want to do any better. Perhaps study more and focus lesson what you look like.'

"Look what has happened over the past couple of weeks, senpai." Yuu must have meant Tomo. There was nothing else he could possibly refer to.

Ken didn't comment on it, but Tomo knew he probably was disappointed. It made him feel guilty, especially since Ken's birthday was just the other day as well.

Tomo didn't want to be girly. He really didn't want people to tell him he was. Make fun of him based on that. Of course, he didn't want to be told he was like a boy either, but at least looking more masculine didn't come with more comments.

Though he might have to change how he acted as well to avoid comments, didn't he?

***

Tomo stepped onto the platform and hurried toward the exit. He heard Ken call after him to wait. As soon as they were out of the station, he felt a hand slip into his and he looked to see Ken next to him.

There were still people who might be from their school around so Tomo pulled his hand away from Ken, looking away.

"Tomo..." He looked worried.

Tomo felt a stab of guilt in his chest. He didn't want Ken to worry.

"What happened? Tatsumi and Yuu said they weren't sure what was going on."

Tomo shook his head. He didn't want to answer. Didn't want to cause Ken trouble.

Not again. Not this time.

"Are you being bullied?" Ken asked while taking Tomo's hand in his hand again. "Tell me. If you're being bullied again..."

"No. No one's being mean."

Tomo squeezed Ken's hand. It was true Abe Rieko wasn't being mean. It was just that everything she said hurt him. But it was probably all true.

He looked less masculine than others, even though he kept growing. His current hairstyle wasn't exactly masculine either. He liked things other boys didn't normally like as much.

Well, not a whole lot would want to watch a magical girl show when they were sixteen, so that made him childish too, didn't it?

Where his blue eyes came from, though, he couldn't say. It was just something that some of Shouji's side of the family would have and went further back than his grandmother could say. Shouji, Shinnosuke — Shouji's grandfather — and one of Shouji's cousins also had blue eyes. They probably had some foreign blood, didn't they? They also were taller on Shouji's side.

Despite that, he was Japanese as far as he could tell, so her comments about his eyes and him being a foreigner were taken out of thin air. They didn't hurt as much as made him feel hopeless.

He had asked Airi if she could perhaps talk to Abe about her comments since they were in the same club. Airi wasn't a bad person and since Yuu was her friend, he imagined she wasn't alright with it either. But whether she had talked to Abe or not Tomo couldn't tell. The comments hadn't stopped.

It was even worse when she sounded nice, but slipped in something hurtful or offensive. He didn't want any of it. He had had enough of bullying.

They walked in silence until they were outside the staff entrance. Ken suddenly turned Tomo around and hugged him tightly.

"Tomo, talk to me." His voice was but a whisper, but he could hear the pain. "I know something happened. You only go quiet when you're trying to hide something from me."

"I promise. It's nothing, Ken. I just have a lot on my mind."

Ken let go of Tomo and looked him in the eyes. He had a serious expression Tomo hadn't seen in some time.

Not since back then.

"Promise me you won't hide anything. Don't hide it from me again. I don't want you to hide it this time."

Ken's voice turned thick as he said the last sentence and he needed time before he continued. He put his hands on Tomo's shoulders.

"Let me know right away if it doesn't stop. Or if it gets worse. You should have come to me ages ago. You look like you're suffering, and I hate that. I loathe it with every single cell in my body. Do you have your lunch? If not I'll make something in the kitchen for you. I'm sure no one will mind."

Tomo couldn't help but chuckle. "You worry too much. Besides, I'm sure there are sets to eat if I really was hungry," he smiled.

"There's nothing funny about this, Tomo."

He felt how the smile faded. The guilt made him avert his eyes from the intense gaze from Ken. It was as if Ken would know everything if he looked at him. He knew it wasn't possible, but he also knew the boy had known Tomo longer than he had known himself.

If anyone could read his mind, it would be Ken.

"I'd hate to see you go through it all over again. You don't deserve that. You never did. I'd protect you from everything that causes you pain if I could. Tomo, you mean more to me than everything in this world."

Tomo felt how he blushed. Ken could say some theatrical lines for fun and though he was used to them it was embarrassing every time.

But when he said something like that seriously, without the overly dramatic words and gestures...

He was flattered.

Ken let go of his shoulders, returning to his normal melodramatic self. He took Tomo's hand in his and kissed it as he bowed.

"Welcome, my lovely sapphire. Step into the safety of our world, where magic will transform all you wish to forget to distant memories, my love. Step into this castle and I will be your knight. Step inside and I will be your everything."

"I'm fairly certain you're not Momo-san's everything, Ken."

Ken looked surprised and Tomo noticed his gaze shift away from Tomo.

"I suppose you're right. I'm but a man desperately looking at the one I care for at a distance."

Tomo stepped inside, pondering what that could mean.

How was anything he usually did 'at a distance'?

***

"Ken-kun! Aren't you going to try to charm Momo-san today? You've been with me all morning!" Tomo heard a customer say.

He was wondering the same thing.

In the past week, Ken had seemed to avoid Tomo again. Adding to the change in his schedule, Ken only briefly greeted him if they saw each other, and he was once again not coming to 1-B to eat lunch.

Something was wrong. And he didn't tell Tomo about it.

Ken told him to share when something was wrong, but when had Ken shared when something troubled him?

He doubted it was that they needed to be close at work and even less that Ken somehow would have started to dislike Tomo.

Or maybe that was it? Tomo had reverted back to what he was at the beginning of the year and Ken was starting to dislike him because he insisted on being a boy. But if so... Maybe it would have been better if they never found out about each other's feelings? Always hiding them from each other. It was painful to think about that. However, it wasn't necessarily untrue.

Ken had been by his side his entire life, through good times and bad times. He had seen Tomo at his worst, and at his best. At the lowest point Ken was there to hold him, at his best he celebrated with him.

Tomo couldn't even imagine what a life without him would be like. What would it be like if he left Tomo's life?

Perhaps Ken was tired of how little Tomo could do. He didn't have any talents. He wasn't strong. He did alright in school. He hid behind a facade. Perhaps Ken was just tired of how useless Tomo was. How he could do nothing.

Tomo glanced at Ken holding a cup in his hand, his legs crossed and arm resting over the back of the sofa, behind the young woman. Ken was beaming his most charming smile at her, sitting close to her. Inviting body language. He was flirting, and Tomo knew it.

Would anyone other than Ken flirt with women in front of their partner?

He wondered if he was supposed to be jealous seeing the scene, but he wasn't.

All he could think of was that he wished that Ken would put the cup down, stand up and approach him. Put his arms around him, or gently hold his cheeks or chin. Get so close they almost kissed.

Naturally, it would be difficult to not kiss in that situation and ever since they did become a couple it seemed like it was more intense.

Or maybe he was more aware of Ken, since he didn't suppress what he was feeling anymore. There hadn't been a need to.

He turned away to focus on his job. Which wasn't observing his boyfriend, even if he could do that for hours.

"Momo-san's beauty shines so brightly this day, that I feel like I would melt if I got too close. Like Ikaros' wings melting as he tried to get higher into the sky, my heart may not handle such beauty from close up."

The customer chuckled. "Hearts don't melt, Ken-kun. It's not made out of wax and Momo-san is no sun. You should give it a try."

Hearing that Tomo couldn't help but to look, only to see Ken holding the chin of the girl saying:

"But if I charm Momo-san, how would you feel? Don't you want to be with me?"

The young woman must have started coming after Tomo and Ken's 'kiss' became a thing because she looked extremely flustered and stuttered that she already had a boyfriend. Ken chuckled and asked her what she was imagining. He only asked if she wanted to be with him there at the café.

"Do you miss Ken-kun, Momo-san?" Tomo's customer asked. He realised he must have been staring at Ken quite a lot.

"Of course not. I'm better off without someone trying to steal my kiss every time he sees me, don't you think?" Tomo smiled at the man he had sat down to talk with. "But," he said, more to himself, "I can only admit I feel a little worried about Ken-kun."

"Has something happened?"

"Maybe it's the lack of something?" Tomo suggested and smiled.

The customer looked over at Ken. "I've been thinking about it lately, but Ken-kun started seemingly trying to convince you to be his soon after he stepped out on the floor on his first day. It was rather shocking at first, but now it's been over a year and I usually don't even think about it when Ken-kun steals you from me." The customer fell quiet, studying Ken for a moment. "He doesn't seem so eager now. He still acts the same with the women though. So if nothing has happened between you... Well, I can understand your worry."

This was one of the regulars from before even Tomo had become an employee at the café. In fact, he had started coming rather early on. He remembered when Fuu-chan and tenchou-chan were the two Fuji-chans and sometimes asked for Fuji-chan just to confuse the new servers.

"Perhaps he found someone in his life," Tomo said.

While it was true, that couldn't possibly be the case, could it? If it was because he had Tomo, wouldn't he have kept distance earlier? Or talked with Tomo about it? No, this seemed to be something else...

The customer looked at Tomo. "Or perhaps he won you over behind the scenes."

Tomo chuckled. "Why would Ken-kun do such a thing? Would it not increase—"

Suddenly Tomo felt someone taking his hand.

"Momo-san," Ken said and went down on a knee. "Will you share a kiss with me, despite your beauty making me so weak I can barely stand?" Ken kissed Tomo's hand.

This was new. Not what they had practised and agreed on. It was improvised, like the first time Ken had approached him on the floor. He must have given in to the request.

Ken had always been weak to anything that could show off his acting, or moments of melodrama. He loved them. So Tomo imagined that side must have won.

Tomo chuckled. Unlike the first time, he knew what the response should be. His tagline came from that first time.

"While it is very charming to see you'd even come to me during times of weakness, my answer remains the same. My kiss—"

Ken stood up hastily and let go of Tomo's hand before Tomo even finished.

"Ken-kun?"

He walked towards the back. Tomo wanted to run after him but turned to the customer with a smile. His professionalism had to come first.

"Perhaps Ken-kun is trying to make you approach him?" the customer suggested, even though he seemed just as perplexed as Tomo felt.

"Perhaps you're right," Tomo replied.

***

"Ken! What was that?" Tomo asked as he found Ken in the changing room.

"Nothing. I'm just not feeling up for it today."

He looked somewhat grumpy as he stared into a textbook.

Tomo wasn't sure what to say.

He wanted Ken to talk to him, but he felt it would be hypocritical of him when he himself had a tendency to be quiet about things. But Ken always figured out what was wrong, because Tomo knew he wasn't good at hiding how he felt. He knew he was like an open book with his heart on his sleeve, but he still tried to hide it.

Ken was different. He always had so many thoughts going through his head that Tomo could have trouble knowing what he might be thinking about. All he could figure out was that something was occupying Ken's thoughts. However, no matter how much he tried to turn the situation around he didn't understand what it was.

"Got it," he replied. "Yeah... okay... I'm taking a break now, so you can go back onto the floor if you want to."

"My break's not over yet," Ken mumbled without lifting his gaze out of the book. He sounded even grumpier than he looked.

***

The school library was quiet as Tomo looked for a reference book that could possibly help him in science. It was the only thing he really struggled to keep up with. As Ken was avoiding him, he couldn't ask him for help.

Tatsumi, Yuu and Satou were sitting around a table studying for the mid-term exams as well, though Tomoki couldn't see them from where he was standing. He had tried to ask them for help, but none of them was strong in science, though he did get a bit of help with math.

The library committee member was looking extremely bored where he sat. There weren't a lot of people there.

1-B had decided that they'd put practicing for the sports festival off for the day since some had said they were getting behind their studies and no one wanted to poorly on the mid-terms that would be after the sports festival.

As he wasn't athletic, Tomo just felt like a waste of space. If it hadn't been for the fact he knew Shouji would come to watch and cheer for his class, he would have skipped the practice and pretended to be sick on the day. It could have possibly worked out, hadn't Chika also been a student there and could tell when the festival was.

He was browsing the physics reference books, trying to figure out what would help him understand what he was trying to learn when he saw movement in the corner of his eye. He turned to see a finger pointing at one, the arm coming from behind him.

"You want that one."

He froze, recognising her voice.

Why couldn't she just leave him alone?

"Or are you looking for the basics of the basics?" Abe Rieko stepped to the side so she stood next to him. "I suppose you'll want a more advanced reference book, right, Tomoki-kun? You scored really well for someone being in the B-class, after all. The one you're holding is suitable for the D- and E-class students, not us A- and B-class students."

"Thank you, Abe-san. However, we are no better than the D- or E classes. They can learn the same things, if they put their mind to it."

His sister being a very good example of that.

She smiled. "Are you talking about someone special? It's such a shame if one can't maintain one's grades high enough, isn't it?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm just saying it would be shameful for someone in the A-class to not be in the top fifty of the year."

Tomo felt how his grip of the book got tense.

He wanted to argue she was wrong, but he knew she wasn't. It was embarrassing his sister scored as poorly as she did. But she had no right to say it! Chika had obviously worked really hard to get into B High in the first place.

However, that didn't matter once she was there, did it? If she didn't score well enough she wasn't able to keep up with Sayoko or Ken.

Ken wouldn't say it, but he really was worried about how dropping below the 100th place once she was in the A-class would affect her self-esteem. Tomo knew, because when he had been over to study with her, he more or less just tutored Chika, rather than Chika helping him 'catch up'.

"Then you should ensure you don't drop out of the top fifty, Abe-san," was all he could reply before putting the book away and returning to his friends, no wiser about what he was doing in science.

Strangely enough, Abe Rieko hadn't said anything in return before he had left the bookcase with reference books.

***

"Tomoki, are you absolutely sure you're going to do this? You know you're putting yourself in a position that could change things, right?"

The owner of the café, Ken's older brother, held Tomo's shoulders and looked seriously into his eyes with worry.

"Kouta, I know what I'm doing."

"You won't have the same role if you do this. You'll be treated differently. You're no longer passive and supportive."

"Fuji-chan, I get you're worried, but Momo-kyun has spent a lot of time thinking about this, you know. I still think it's a good idea."

"I hear what you're saying, but... Tomoki only ended up doing these acts because Kenta pulled him into it. He shouldn't have to do this."

"I've done similar things to what Ken does though."

"But only occasionally when you saw no other way to get a calm talk with your customer, right? And never with Kenta. This is different. You'll reverse the roles you've had, and you're initiating it. This is very different from when Kenta walked up to you a year ago. He was just being his true, dumb self, but you're not like him."

Kouta was pretty anxious. He was not worried as the manager or owner of the café but as the friend of Shouji's and big brother of Ken's. Tomo could understand it.

He was nervous too. He knew he wasn't going to be good at it. He wouldn't be able to pull Ken into his pace the way Ken pulled into his. He wasn't an actor. Last time he was in a play was in elementary school.

Tomo had talked through the idea with Kouta numerous times already. Fujiki had eventually said it was a good idea, though it didn't seem as Kouta was convinced.

Nonetheless, he needed to do something to throw Ken off. He was too deep into his thoughts and distanced himself from Tomo more and more. And not just Tomo. He greeted Yuu and Tatsumi but nothing more than that, he avoided the classroom for 1-B, he didn't come over to study with Chika, he didn't stop by at Sakura's... He didn't even call Tomo. Yuu and Tatsumi had tried to talk to Ken but had only gotten 'you wouldn't understand' back.

Something that Yuu and Tatsumi wouldn't understand... Tomo couldn't think of a single thing. But he did realise Ken was overthinking whatever it was.

So now he was standing in the office. According to the schedule, he didn't have a shift. That was the point. Ken couldn't know about it. The only people who knew he was actually there were the ones who worked there fulltime — Kouta, Fujiki, Tanaka and Mimi.

Tomo took a deep breath.

"Kouta, I'm doing this. I know this means I'll probably have to take a more active role than before, but if it means Ken will get out of whatever's going on in his head, I have to do it. Besides, he tells me to talk to him if something happens, but he doesn't rely on me, so I need to shake him up a bit."

"You are younger than him..." Kouta said and Fujiki sighed.

"I'm your friend, ain't I? I sure as hell support you, or else I wouldn't be standing here in a skirt and work myself half to death for your sake. Kenta is two years older than Momo-kyun, just like you're two years older than I am. Get your head out of your ass, and look at the kid. He's not fourteen anymore. For fuck's sake, Momo-kyun's not even all that short anymore. He's your height, not shorter than everyone else around here! I'm almost jealous."

Tomo chuckled.

Fujiki was the height of an average woman. When Tomo had started, he had been something like five centimetres shorter than Fujiki. Maybe a little bit more. He had been shorter than any of the staff when he started working there. He had gotten a few comments such as 'You're really not growing fast, are you?' from the older part-timers as he should have been in the middle of puberty and grown a lot, but he just didn't.

Kouta looked at Fujiki and then back at Tomo.

"I guess you're right. Tomoki's not the little child I know. I need to see you as the adult you're about to become."

"It's fine if you think of me as a child sometimes. You're like an uncle to me after all."

"Uncle..." Fujiki echoed and then burst out laughing. "Did you hear that, Kouta? You're an uncle! You're thirty-two and the uncle of a sixteen-year-old! And your little brother's partner no less! You're not even his brother! This is killing me! I can't believe it!" He was roaring and drying his tears with a handkerchief he had gotten out of a hidden pocket in his skirt. "This is the funniest thing I've heard in years. Momo-kyun said you're his uncle."

Kouta's anxious face slowly turned to irritation and the man was staring into the floor while Fujiki was laughing.

"And Kenta's only two years older than Momo-kyun! Does that make you Kenta's uncle too? My sides. I'll die laughing!"

Tomo felt Kouta's fingers twitch.

"It's fine! I can be his uncle if he wants me to be his uncle!" he snapped at Fujiki, who was quiet for only a short moment.

"Kenta's or Momoi's?" The man was laughing even more, almost gasping for air at times.

Tomo struggled to hold back a laugh and started to giggle. "Maybe I should see you as a brother, but you know..."

Kouta was Shouji's friend and for Tomo that meant Kouta was like Shouji's brother if anyone's. Even if he knew he was Ken's brother, the fifteen year age gap between Kouta and Ken made them seem less like brothers.

"It's fine..." Kouta sighed. "You probably see all people in their 30s as uncles or aunts, don't you?"

This question was like an off button on Fujiki's laughter. He had just made fun of Kouta, so being called an 'uncle' by Tomo too was probably not something he wanted. Tomo remained silent. He didn't have the heart to say it was just Kouta.

Fujiki still caught on.

"It's just you," he giggled.

"Next time I see Nao I'll kick his sorry butt," Kouta muttered quietly.

"I'm sure Chiyo sees you as an older brother?" Tomo tried but he only got a tired sigh in return.

"This isn't getting us anywhere..." he said and Fujiki cleared his throat, still drying tears. "I get it. Kenta has an even more active role than you, so he needs the support. Your support. I never really thought about it, since Kenta does a lot of acting at the theatre and the club..." He got a complicated look on his face. "Though he hasn't taken any days off to go to practice. Is that perhaps also because of what's going on now?"

Tomo pretended to not hear that. He didn't need to think about that right then and there. But he did immediately consider Ken must have quit acting. Perhaps... Ken was done with that.

He took a deep breath and then exhaled. "Let's go. Fujiki-senpai, you know what to do."

Fujiki nodded and left the office, followed by Tomo and Kouta. Fujiki went back to the floor and Tomo was ready to go out. This was going to be one special act.

***

"Ken-kun, you said Momo-san wasn't working today, right?"

"I did. Momo-san's off today. So it's just me and my aching heart on the floor today."

Ken was turned away from Tomo, speaking to the young woman, as Tomo walked up to them.

"But they're right there?"

Ken turned when the girl nodded in Tomo's direction. His eyes widened the moment he saw him. He was likely shocked.

Tomo's heart was racing. His throat was a knot. His stomach felt like it was going to turn itself inside out. He regretted it. He should have stopped when Kouta asked. Kouta should have tried harder to convince him. Fujiki should have been against it, just like when Ken first started.

He pictured himself messing up. He didn't do acting. He didn't count what he said while working, as he simply avoided sharing personal details. And he wasn't melodramatic like Ken. He wasn't some knight in shining armour, or a prince, or anything. He wasn't Ken. He couldn't think of things like that on the spot.

What if Ken said or did something he hadn't expected and he'd have to change his plan? He only had the script he had written.

Then again, he had committed to this and it was too late to go back now. More so because Ken was looking at him like he couldn't believe his eyes.

The staff's and customers' gazes were on him as well. Luckily Fujiki was there to get the servers to do their work.

This was a big moment. It was a terrifying moment. It was a moment when Tomo was holding himself back from turning around and running for his life.

It was the first time in years he didn't run away from something he found terrifying. He felt frozen in place, but forced to keep taking steps forward.

Depending on how it went, this could end with a kiss. Not on the lips — although Tomo would like that, as he could admit to himself he felt a little deprived of Ken's physical display of affection — but rather on the cheek.

Or nose, that would be an interesting choice. If Ken stood up, though, he might not be able to kiss his nose. He might be taller than before, but he wasn't entirely sure how that compared to Ken. He hadn't really thought about it.

Ken had always matched his height, even when he had grown a lot, and Tomo barely at all.

Kissing, really, wasn't too odd at the café. Naturally, none of the staff kissed anyone while working, but on the Internet, one could find pictures of Ken and Fujiki kissing Momo-san's cheeks (well, assumingly Momo-san, since the whole face wasn't visible), and some of the other staff had kissed his hand.

But Momo-san's kiss was worth too much for this world.

And Ken would receive one, if he could manage to follow his own script. In other words, if Ken didn't mess up his pace, that would be the result.

His anxiety started turning to excitement.

He was initiating a next step in the 'story' between Momo-san and Ken-kun. The writer in him couldn't help but be excited about that. He couldn't help but see Ken-kun and Momo-san as characters he had made up together with Ken. They were the two of them, but also not. And Momo-san and Ken-kun had brought him Ken.

Well, they had brought Tomo's and Ken's feelings for each other to the surface.

He felt just how thankful he was, and how much he loved Ken as he gently took Ken's hand in his. He rubbed his thumb against the top of his hand, considering if he should do what Ken would have done. But going down on one knee wasn't like Momo-san. It wasn't Tomo's thing. Instead, he gave the man in front of him a bow.

"For some time my heart has been pained, for a while it has ached. I could not understand what was wrong, as a piece was missing, my soul wailing in solitude." He looked into Ken's chocolate brown eyes. "It is true that my heart belongs to all who visit, to all in this mortal world who need my love. Yet you, Ken, have come to receive a place in it that is no one else's but yours." He lifted Ken's fingers to his lips, even though he had never planned on doing so. "Before I knew it, you had charmed your way into my heart, and this is a token of my affection."

His heart was racing, his ears filled with the beating of his heart and the blood pumping. He couldn't hesitate now. He was terrified. He needed to do this gracefully. Not quick like he was ten-year-old kissing the person he liked for the first time and then running off.

Though he would never have run off from Ken as a child. The ten-year-old would have expected a kiss back. The ten-year-old would have pulled Ken to him.

In the ten-year-old's world, Ken had already been his. Not his brother, nor his friend. Yamada Kenta had always been his Ken. He was much more than what could be expressed in words.

He had tried.

He put his hand on Ken's shoulder, and closed the distance.

"You're worth more than this world, Ken," he whispered into Ken's cheek before he kissed his cheek.

Through the pulse and the rush of his blood in his ears, he heard a murmur further away, while the tables around them were quiet. The woman, who had been seated around two o'clock from Ken's point of view, was baffled. No one expected Momo-san to do that. He hadn't told that part to Fujiki or Kouta either.

It had been part of his script.

Well, not the whisper. It had just come over him, thinking about what Ken meant to him.

The question was what would happen next. He had thought of a few scenarios, but he wouldn't know how Ken reacted before the real thing happened.

He could see Ken didn't know what to do. He looked like he was trying to figure out what his role was. Like he was seeing a script for the first time and trying to understand the character he was supposed to portray.

To some degree, Tomo understood that feeling. That was likely what he had felt when Ken had approached him the first time.

A few seconds passed and Tomo thought Ken would simply run away. He went over what he had come to think of in such a case, when Ken covered his mouth and cheeks with his hand. His cheeks were turning read and he was looking away from Tomo, his hand squeezing Tomo's, and he felt Ken rub his hand with his thumb.

He likely wanted their fingers to intertwine. Tomo wanted nothing more.

Once Ken had collected himself a couple of seconds later, he managed to stand up and place Tomo where he wanted him, before putting a knee to the floor and kissing Tomo's hand. He glanced up with a twinkle in his eye.

Tomo was no longer in charge of the situation.

Screw his script, he hadn't expected Ken to find his cool that quickly.

Then again, Ken was used to live theatre where something could go wrong in the middle of the performance. Maybe Tomo should have accounted for that.

"Welcome, my love, to my world. To see you here, when I least expected you is like a sweet dream and I wish to never wake up. To hear you say my name in such a familiar manner fills me with your affection. Never did I imagine that you, the one in my heart, would give me a kiss. Never did I imagine that you, the missing piece of my soul, would let me touch your lips. It may have been my fingers and my cheek, but two kisses nonetheless, and I rejoice in my fortune." Ken stood up and put his arm around Tomo's waist, guiding his hand back to his lips before he continued:

"I am so delighted, my love, for you are all I wish for in my life. It pains me, however, that I ever made you feel lonely. From now on, I will never leave your side."

He closed the distance between their lips holding Tomo closer. Tomo felt his entire face heat up. He was embarrassed by Ken's words. He was more embarrassed by how tightly Ken was holding him. Had Ken held him like this tightly in front of customers before? Not to mention, he really felt like Ken might kiss him. He knew he wouldn't, but perhaps he wished for it.

Wished to get past the barrier.

It might even be a little bit too exciting for him, though, and he cursed himself for being a teenager. Or having a boy's body. He was not quite sure which he should blame if he'd embarrass himself after this.

"One day, my dearest love, I will steal a kiss from those lips, and you will let me."

He wanted to say: "Then kiss me now."

However, he heard in Ken's quiet, slightly husky, voice that he had no plans for it. Yet it was clear Ken would, had they been just the two of them.

Tomo bit his lip.

Part of him hated that he knew he had to refuse, and he scrambled for a reply that would be ambiguous enough for Tomo to say that it may happen one day. He felt the silent laugh of Ken's and he held back from putting his free arm around him.

He really wanted to return the embrace. Maybe initiate a kiss himself.

That would be a shocking thing for Momo-san to do.

"Only time will tell if you're worthy of it, Ken-kun. The only one who can stand beside me when the time comes is worth more than this world, and the one to receive a kiss needs to prive themselves twice. But know that on this day, I came here only for you."

"Then I will make myself worthy for you, my love, my missing piece, my Momo."

Ken let go, bowed to Tomo before he excused himself to the woman at the table.

"I believe my break starts now, but I will return to you, beautiful lady."

"Ah, no. That will be fine. I..." She looked at Tomo, then back at Ken. "I think I've had my fill. More than enough, actually, so I'll pay."

"Very well," Ken said, beaming a smile at her. "It was my pleasure to accompany you today."

She chuckled. "Are you trying to impress Momo-san with pretty words?"

Ken laughed. "You got me. You can pay at the counter. Now, excuse me."

He left Tomo with the woman, who stood up, looking after Ken.

"Momo-san, may I ask you a question?"

"Yes, of course."

"Will you ever give Ken-kun a kiss?"

Tomo smiled. "Only time will tell."

***

Tomo found Ken-kun sitting on the sofa in the changing room. He closed the door and locked it. Ken looked up, and immediately covered his mouth and looked away.

"Seriously, Tomo? What was that even? I didn't know what to do!"

"You seemed like you had no doubts how to handle it."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"You were avoiding me, so I had to do something."

"Why didn't Arata tell you to stop?"

"As I said before, I'm here for you. I technically am not working today. I can't just appear on the floor as Momoi Tomoki to do that. Kouta said he will pay me for the time I'm spending here since it's probably going to draw customers once it gets out on the net. It's probably already on there. As for senpai... He knew what I was going to do, and since I'm not working..."

"I'm allowed to charm you." Ken suddenly laughed. "You're so shrewd. Arata too, since I talked to him about things."

Tomo sat down beside Ken, who put his forehead against Tomo's. It was so comforting feeling that. Being close again.

They sat silently like that for a while, Tomo feeling more at ease than he had in a long time. It was almost like he was sucked into Ken's world.

"Ken, tell what's bothering you. What's occupying your mind?" he eventually whispered.

Ken looked at Tomo surprised.

"It's nothing," he said and looked down.

Tomo thought for a moment. His heart was racing again. He was a bit scared. He started fingering the frills on his blouse.

"Then I'll tell you nothing," he said, making Ken look at him again, with a puzzled face. "Abe Rieko... She's from 1-A, so I guess you know who it is... She doesn't tell me things I wear are girly, or gay, or for attention. Doesn't point out I look like a girl. Nor random things like a science reference book not being on B-class level," Tomo said.

He felt the knot in his throat but he needed to continue. He hadn't done this in a while. But he knew Ken wouldn't wonder what he was talking about.

"Since she's not doing it, she obviously doesn't have any ill intentions. If she points things out, and it doesn't bother me or make me really conscious of them. I don't get scared about it all. Of anything. I'm not afraid it'll turn ugly for you. I'm not worried that you'll be called gay, nor you'll get hated. Not that people think you've played them to cover things up either. I mentioned it before, I asked Airi to talk with her. Not that there was anything to talk about. So nothing... has needed to be stopped." He rubbed the frills between his index fingers and thumbs and glanced at Ken. He had averted his gaze without realising. "There is now doubt that she's being nice. I'm sure Airi talked to her about nothing, so clearly there was nothing that could end. Everything is normal. Just like when I mentioned Abe before."

Ken laughed to himself. "We haven't played this game in a while."

"We haven't, but I think we ought to do that now. I've told you what hasn't happened to me at school. Now it's your turn."

He let their noses touch before he gave Tomo a gentle kiss. "Aren't you playing unfair, Tomoki-san? I've asked you to talk to me countless times, and here you are demanding to know what I'm thinking about."

"I'm always worried or bothered by something, Ken. You're not. So, please, tell me. Maybe I can do something..."

"Mm..." Ken touched the back of his neck, which made Tomo nervous, and he started fiddling with his blouse more than before. "It's really stupid. And you can't really help," he said after a while.

Tomo frowned as he watched him, waiting for him to continue. Ken's hand moved in front of his mouth, then he put his forehead against his palm.

Tomo jumped when Ken suddenly threw his body backwards. It was a wonder that the sofa didn't tip over.

Ken stared into the ceiling.

"Aaaa-ah!" He let out a sigh. "I had planned on figuring this out myself! But I suppose I'm not good with things like this... See... It's just, you know, I'm confused again. Really confused."

"About what?"

"I've told you that it's okay for you and all, but I guess it's still weird for me."

"I don't understand what you're talking about."

Ken covered his eyes with his arm and held out his other hand. Tomo took it.

"It's so stupid. You'll laugh at me, I swear. Recently... Or not very recently, but for a while... Maybe at the end of summer vacation? Something like that."

Ken was clearly rambling. No wonder he hadn't talked with Tomo. He didn't even seem to be able to properly put together his thoughts.

"I've gotten... Hmmm... When I think of you at times... Just sometimes. I didn't think about it much at first... I probably didn't connect the dots, I guess... Yeah... Hmm... Well... Excited. Let's use that word... As in I've gotten... You know... Emotionally. And you know... Yeah..."

"Oh."

He was saying he was confused about his sexuality because he got excited from his feelings for Tomo. Like Tomo could get when they kissed.

Though in Tomo's case it was sexual. Mixed with his feelings for Ken.

"I talked to Arata about it because I thought he'd be less judgemental than, say, Kouta and he said it's pretty simple. If I didn't want to do those kinds of things I wasn't sexually attracted to you. I don't know. Is it really that simple? It's different between you and girls. I don't understand all of it. I want to be close and all that, but..."

"Ken."

"What?"

"You're really stupid."

Ken looked surprised. Tomo chuckled.

"And I really like you," he added. "Does it really matter who you're attracted to sexually? It's not like it defines who you are. Do senpai and Makoto-san get any more them as individuals because they're a couple? Would they be less so if they weren't gay?"

"But it's confusing, Tomo."

"Good for you! Let's be confused together." He hesitated for a moment before he continued. "I'm still going back and forth on being nonbinary. Right now I feel like I should be a boy. Must be one. I know you disagree, but... there's no space for me otherwise."

Tomo laid down, throwing his legs over the armrest and resting his head against Ken's thigh. He peered up at the brown-eyed, brown-haired young man looking down at him. He saw a hint of pain in his expression.

He knew Ken wished for Tomo to be able to be himself, as much as Tomo wished to fit in. But he didn't want to think about that so he steered the conversation away from it.

"It's not like you can't explore that. I'm here. If you want to, I mean. You don't have to do anything you are uncomfortable with. To be honest, I'm curious about doing stuff with you, but I don't really want to do anything right now. Like, I'm just curious but not interested, if that makes sense. I'm okay with a relationship which isn't sexual at all. Or one that is a little bit sexual. But neither you nor I need to go any further than we're okay with. If the line is sleeping next to you, or you hugging me, I'm okay with that. If it's further, that's fine too."

"It's so weird hearing you talk about this stuff, Tomo. I could probably understand if it was Yuu or Tatsumi or Sayocchi. And definitely, if it was Sakura. Sometimes it seems to be all she wants to talk about. But you— Wait."

"Hm?"

"Did you just say you're curious? And wouldn't mind sex?"

Tomo thought. He felt how awkward and embarrassing this subject was for him.

If he was to say he had been completely uninterested in the subject he would be lying, but he had never been interested in the acts, and that was what was usually the topic: interest in the acts.

Sakura had liked to talk about things related to sex and he had always tried to steer the subject away from it. He never had anything to say other than "I don't know". It was an honest answer.

Which helped him, because he didn't really want to talk about the way he was interested in the topic. It was embarrassing.

However, there were still many I-don't-knows for him, but he maybe had a couple less of them now. A few more straightened question marks in his life.

"Like I said, I'm curious. And I'm maybe a little bit interested in doing some things with you. Does that matter?"

Ken took Tomo's hand in his and let the fingers of his other run through Tomo's hair. "Not at all. As in, I'm not at all bothered by it. I just thought you weren't interested at all, since you've never shown any interest in that way to anyone. Sakkun would be over the moon if she knew."

"Don't go tell her. Do you realise what I'll have to suffer through if you do?"

Ken laughed. "I can imagine. I'd have to go through the same thing if she knew about my feelings too."

"And you know... I've only felt that way towards you and it's all kind of new to me."

Ken covered his mouth. "Thanks, Tomo. I should have talked to you about this from the start." He squeezed his hand. "I am pretty stupid some times."

"Well, I didn't laugh at you, so ..."

Ken laughed gently. "And I found out things I didn't know about you." Tomo looked away, which made him laugh more.

"Are you going to tease me for that now?" he muttered.

"No. I won't. I think it's cute. You're always adorable. Always beautiful. Always so pretty. I can't get enough of you."

"What you can't get enough of is my hair, isn't it?"

"I thought that was part of you?"

"It's very different to say you're not getting enough of my hair and not getting enough of me."

"Oh no, my sapphire. I'm never getting enough of you. Your hair is part of you, and it's you I want to be with, not your hair specifically. Your hair is not as lively as you are."

Tomo chuckled.

"Do you think you can go back to work?"

Ken looked momentarily surprised before he grumpily looked away while covering his mouth.

"I might need a few minutes," he muttered. "Though I guess I would prefer to just leave and take you home with me."