Chapter 1. Love

We are starting with the subject LOVE

When I met my current boyfriend my first thought was: Could a heart like yours ever love a heart like mine? You are so perfect, so pure, so well made, and well, I am not. I am sad, powerless, and broken... I'm a mess. You light up my days. You showed me what life is when I didn't see it. You showed me the light. You are the light. You dragged me out of the dark. You stood by my side in the dark. You listened. You cared. You helped. I have met many generous and lovely people, but not one person have I met who is as generous as you or as strong and good-hearted as you are. You are different. You are special. Very special.

You have the purest heart. If I could paint your heart it would be white. Pure white. Mine would be dark red. If we mix white and dark red, it creates red. Red is the color of love.

But I don't wanna mix my dark red heart with yours. Don't get me wrong I want to, but I don't wanna ruin your pureness. Yours is so pure and mine isn't. Mine has scars and holes in it and it's dark, it's damaged.



I thought I knew what love is. *Spoiler* I didn't.

I was 14 when I got my first real boyfriend. At first, I didn't really like him I just wanted to try because everyone around me seemed to date someone so I thought why not. But the truth is; you shouldn't rush into a relationship. Don't do the mistake I did. You should wait until you feel like getting into one. You know when it's time.

I didn't feel love, but I felt something new. When I finally thought that I started feeling something, we broke up. Wasn't a surprise, I didn't imagine my future with him. He messed up. It hurt. It kept hurting for a while, but then the pain went away. I just rushed into that relationship, I didn't like him, I didn't love him, I messed up. I should have waited. At that moment I realized that I knew nothing about love.

I didn't look for a relationship it just came, I fell in love on the way. I found someone who I think is special. Luckily when I confessed my feelings he felt the same way. That was an amazing feeling. Telling someone you like them and them liking you back. The crushing part itself is amazing.

I started feeling new things. I haven't felt those things before. He said to me that he felt something that he hasn't felt yet and I said the same. We both found someone special who makes us full. I have never felt this way. I am just 16 but I think this is love. If this isn't love, then what is? It is this feeling that controls me. I want to spend all the time in the world with him. Just with him. I feel safe with him. Safer than I would feel under 100 blankets behind 5 doors and 10 locks. The happiness I feel around him is different. Everything is different when I'm close to him. It's like I'm blooming. I can open up my petals and show all of me to him. I can be myself, free.

What makes you so easy to love my dear:

I started to think; what makes you so easy to love? You are generous. You always care. You care about little things like my school days. You have the purest heart of all the people I know. You are easy to talk to because you stay in the conversation. You don't leave or ignore. You listen and reply with your own thoughts. You calm down my anxiety. You make my days brighter. You make me a better person. You don't expect me to be anything else than who I really am. You welcome me by who I am. You are pure. You are open. but you are not too open. I need to dig in to find some things. I like a little adventure.

You are the reason why I get out of bed every morning. You make me smile. You make me laugh. You make me smile easier than anyone else when you're holding my hand. You compliment me. Every day I find something new. You always surprise me with new perspectives of you.